Community Conversation => Transsexual talk => Female to male transsexual talk (FTM) => Topic started by: torii on February 13, 2013, 03:08:32 PM Return to Full Version
Title: binding and being hugged
Post by: torii on February 13, 2013, 03:08:32 PM
Post by: torii on February 13, 2013, 03:08:32 PM
wondering if anyone has any tips on being hugged and still passing, I think i'd be too squishy...
I realise its probably better just to avoid the situation but I seem to know lots of very huggy people some of whom i don't acctually know well enough to be out to but just tend to hug everyone in a group they've been talking to goodbye etc. which is mostly why I said being hugged.
also I like hugs so it'd be nice to find a way to pass and hug people
I realise its probably better just to avoid the situation but I seem to know lots of very huggy people some of whom i don't acctually know well enough to be out to but just tend to hug everyone in a group they've been talking to goodbye etc. which is mostly why I said being hugged.
also I like hugs so it'd be nice to find a way to pass and hug people
Title: Re: binding and being hugged
Post by: Devlyn on February 13, 2013, 03:10:55 PM
Post by: Devlyn on February 13, 2013, 03:10:55 PM
I don't have an answer to your question, but, hugs, Devlyn
Title: Re: binding and being hugged
Post by: Natkat on February 13, 2013, 03:16:48 PM
Post by: Natkat on February 13, 2013, 03:16:48 PM
well wear think clothing or more of them so they wont notice so well, and maybe try to avoid very tight hugging, and maybe try hug more with your back bending and shoulder. than straight back hugging. if you get the picture..
Title: Re: binding and being hugged
Post by: Josh on February 13, 2013, 05:59:52 PM
Post by: Josh on February 13, 2013, 05:59:52 PM
Yea at the moment i wear an underworks binder that is too old and it doesnt do much but the people i go to school wit and hang out wit like to hug a lot or mess around but as for the hugging i do what natkat said...dont hug like a really good hug jus kinda bend so your chest isnt touching or like a side hug
Title: Re: binding and being hugged
Post by: lawliver on February 13, 2013, 06:28:08 PM
Post by: lawliver on February 13, 2013, 06:28:08 PM
When I hug someone I do it with my side. So side to their side, with my arm around their shoulders. That works best for me.
Title: Re: binding and being hugged
Post by: Contravene on February 13, 2013, 06:45:14 PM
Post by: Contravene on February 13, 2013, 06:45:14 PM
I do something of a side hug too just because I'm uncomfortable with hugging people I don't know. I kind of line up my left shoulder with their left shoulder then hug my right arm around them for just a second (or vice versa depending on how they come at you) so that my body isn't really touching theirs as much. That would probably keep them from feeling your chest too.
Title: Re: binding and being hugged
Post by: DriftingCrow on February 13, 2013, 07:31:06 PM
Post by: DriftingCrow on February 13, 2013, 07:31:06 PM
I only regularly hug two people, both are really tall guys at school who know I am bio-female, but I've noticed that whenever we hug, because they're so tall compared to me we have to go in at angels so really only our shoulders and arms touch. If I was stealth, I wouldn't worry about any squishiness on my chest because of this.
Title: Re: binding and being hugged
Post by: supremecatoverlord on February 13, 2013, 11:40:27 PM
Post by: supremecatoverlord on February 13, 2013, 11:40:27 PM
This used to be my biggest fear before top surgery.
Title: Re: binding and being hugged
Post by: kelly_aus on February 14, 2013, 12:39:26 AM
Post by: kelly_aus on February 14, 2013, 12:39:26 AM
I know a few guys and we hug whenever we see each other.. I know one of them is quite large chested.. But I've never noticed anything 'odd' when I've hugged them..
Title: Re: binding and being hugged
Post by: Ayden on February 14, 2013, 05:48:35 AM
Post by: Ayden on February 14, 2013, 05:48:35 AM
I just go for it. I'm a huggy person myself. My friend who wsa visiting for three days over the weekend actually asked me if I had had "the procedure" done, despite my binder being too big due to weight loss. I thought it was hilarious, but mostly because he is really socially awkward and I'm one of two people he hugs.
Title: Re: binding and being hugged
Post by: Nero on February 14, 2013, 07:07:20 AM
Post by: Nero on February 14, 2013, 07:07:20 AM
Quote from: Kelly the Trans-Rebel on February 14, 2013, 12:39:26 AM
I know a few guys and we hug whenever we see each other.. I know one of them is quite large chested.. But I've never noticed anything 'odd' when I've hugged them..
Yeah, never noticed anything hugging a cis guy with moobs. Or maybe you just expect some 'squishiness' if someone's pudgy.
Title: Re: binding and being hugged
Post by: kelly_aus on February 14, 2013, 11:42:30 AM
Post by: kelly_aus on February 14, 2013, 11:42:30 AM
Quote from: Not-so Fat Admin on February 14, 2013, 07:07:20 AM
Yeah, never noticed anything hugging a cis guy with moobs. Or maybe you just expect some 'squishiness' if someone's pudgy.
I should probably have made it clear they are trans guys..
I hate using any kind of qualifier.. I'm a woman, not a trans woman.. You are a guy, not a trans guy..
Title: Re: binding and being hugged
Post by: Miharu Barbie on February 14, 2013, 12:48:36 PM
Post by: Miharu Barbie on February 14, 2013, 12:48:36 PM
If I may pipe in here....
I'm one of those huggy people. I hug anyone who gets too close to me (be warned).... men, women, strangers. I like hugs.
And I wear a corset all day everyday. It's a very tightly laced band of fabric that encircles my body from just below my boobs to just above my pelvic bone; there are 26 vertical steel rods sewn into the garment, spaced out so that they are arranged all the way around my abdomen.
In my experience, the vast majority of people that I hug don't even seem to notice that I'm wearing a corset, which really suprises me because I'm a full on hip bone to hip bone hugger. Or maybe, if people do notice they just don't say anything, which is fine too. For those who do ask me what I'm wearing, I will often make a joke, which is just a polite way of telling people that my underwear is none of their business and not open for discussion. At various times I've told people who ask about my corset that I wear a bullet proof vest, that I wear a back brace, that I do 2000 sit ups a day so my muscles are like steel bands, etc. People tend to get the hint.
Move through your world with confidence. Most people are oblivious to what we're doing; and people generally step aside and allow confident ones to go about their business unchallenged.
Hugs (there I go again),
Miharu
I'm one of those huggy people. I hug anyone who gets too close to me (be warned).... men, women, strangers. I like hugs.
And I wear a corset all day everyday. It's a very tightly laced band of fabric that encircles my body from just below my boobs to just above my pelvic bone; there are 26 vertical steel rods sewn into the garment, spaced out so that they are arranged all the way around my abdomen.
In my experience, the vast majority of people that I hug don't even seem to notice that I'm wearing a corset, which really suprises me because I'm a full on hip bone to hip bone hugger. Or maybe, if people do notice they just don't say anything, which is fine too. For those who do ask me what I'm wearing, I will often make a joke, which is just a polite way of telling people that my underwear is none of their business and not open for discussion. At various times I've told people who ask about my corset that I wear a bullet proof vest, that I wear a back brace, that I do 2000 sit ups a day so my muscles are like steel bands, etc. People tend to get the hint.
Move through your world with confidence. Most people are oblivious to what we're doing; and people generally step aside and allow confident ones to go about their business unchallenged.
Hugs (there I go again),
Miharu
Title: Re: binding and being hugged
Post by: Farm Boy on February 15, 2013, 03:17:56 AM
Post by: Farm Boy on February 15, 2013, 03:17:56 AM
This is something I worried about a lot after making friends with a very huggy guy. As it turned out, he never noticed anything. After I came out to him and I told him I wanted chest surgery, he was confused as to what for. I explained, he felt my chest, and was still confused because apparently I pass the touching test, and the concept of a binder just isn't something on most people's radar. Although our bodies aren't all the same and YMMV, I'm pretty sure most people don't actually put as much thought into these things as we're afraid that they do. That said, I understand the worry because I still worry about it myself.
Title: Re: binding and being hugged
Post by: Felix on February 15, 2013, 10:13:51 AM
Post by: Felix on February 15, 2013, 10:13:51 AM
I almost always have at least a flitting moment of binder-awareness when anyone hugs me. I get hugged a lot though and I just try to be chill about it. Nobody has ever said anything to me regarding how it feels. There are people who knew I transitioned but were still slow to understand binding when I explained it to them or even showed them.
I'd say the main thing I still kinda worry about is having the tight upper chest of a fitter person and the squishy belly of a regular united statesian.
I'd say the main thing I still kinda worry about is having the tight upper chest of a fitter person and the squishy belly of a regular united statesian.
Title: Re: binding and being hugged
Post by: aleon515 on February 15, 2013, 03:30:39 PM
Post by: aleon515 on February 15, 2013, 03:30:39 PM
Quote from: Felix on February 15, 2013, 10:13:51 AM
I'd say the main thing I still kinda worry about is having the tight upper chest of a fitter person and the squishy belly of a regular united statesian.
Ok, I have nothing to add, but this just cracked me up. Thanks Felix.
--Jay
Title: Re: binding and being hugged
Post by: anibioman on February 16, 2013, 11:08:17 AM
Post by: anibioman on February 16, 2013, 11:08:17 AM
i hug people all the time and no ones the wiser i wear a tri top and it gets be really flat.
Title: Re: binding and being hugged
Post by: torii on February 17, 2013, 12:07:34 PM
Post by: torii on February 17, 2013, 12:07:34 PM
wow, thank youf ro all the responses, I'm glad to hear there are other people who like hugs who didn't have to stop giving them, that's awesome *hugs*
and yeah I'm in agreement that probably the other person in the hug isn't thinking about my chest as much as I am
and yeah I'm in agreement that probably the other person in the hug isn't thinking about my chest as much as I am
Title: Re: binding and being hugged
Post by: vinnie413 on February 21, 2013, 04:51:17 PM
Post by: vinnie413 on February 21, 2013, 04:51:17 PM
A guy whom I had only recently met had hugged me after hanging out for a day. The next time we hung out, he told me he thought I was cismale until he hugged me and realized I had breasts under my compression vest.
Yeesh.
So I take note now to hug with less... chest action, I guess. My compression vest gets me pretty flat, but apparently not flat enough for a hug.
Yeesh.
So I take note now to hug with less... chest action, I guess. My compression vest gets me pretty flat, but apparently not flat enough for a hug.
Title: Re: binding and being hugged
Post by: sony on February 23, 2013, 10:23:06 AM
Post by: sony on February 23, 2013, 10:23:06 AM
Well, as I don't have a real binder, I have a fear from hugging, so my friend always say that I only put my head to her shoulder, and arms around her. I really don't feel secure while hugging.