Community Conversation => Transsexual talk => Female to male transsexual talk (FTM) => Topic started by: NoIntentions on February 20, 2013, 01:33:36 PM Return to Full Version
Title: Im new with a few questions...
Post by: NoIntentions on February 20, 2013, 01:33:36 PM
Post by: NoIntentions on February 20, 2013, 01:33:36 PM
I never new exactly what transgender was, but I always knew my own feelings and it relates alot.. I wanna come out about it to everyone but dont exactly know how to because I dont think they will understand?
I realize who I am and what I wanna be, I wanna undergo therapy but also dont know how to go about this.. I've read some post and people say talk to a therapist, im horrible with communication and I just feel no one understands what im going through, therefore I feel uncomfortable talking about such things.
Blaaah what should I do?
???
I realize who I am and what I wanna be, I wanna undergo therapy but also dont know how to go about this.. I've read some post and people say talk to a therapist, im horrible with communication and I just feel no one understands what im going through, therefore I feel uncomfortable talking about such things.
Blaaah what should I do?
???
Title: Re: Im new with a few questions...
Post by: spacerace on February 20, 2013, 02:39:21 PM
Post by: spacerace on February 20, 2013, 02:39:21 PM
People here probably understand a bit of what you're going through. Feel free to communicate with us. All of this can definitely be really uncomfortable to discuss with anyone at first, especially in person.
You don't need to rush talking to a therapist if you don't want to. Finding a therapist is pretty dependent upon how things work wherever you live, but if you have general questions there's a chance someone here may have some answers.
When I first started thinking about this there was no way I could talk to anyone about any of it. I just consumed every bit of information I could find about transitioning and being transgender from the wealth of information that is available online. Eventually you might get to a point where you are ready to take the next step and talk to a professional of some sort. There is no rush.
You don't need to rush talking to a therapist if you don't want to. Finding a therapist is pretty dependent upon how things work wherever you live, but if you have general questions there's a chance someone here may have some answers.
When I first started thinking about this there was no way I could talk to anyone about any of it. I just consumed every bit of information I could find about transitioning and being transgender from the wealth of information that is available online. Eventually you might get to a point where you are ready to take the next step and talk to a professional of some sort. There is no rush.
Title: Re: Im new with a few questions...
Post by: Bastian on February 20, 2013, 06:48:54 PM
Post by: Bastian on February 20, 2013, 06:48:54 PM
What I did to come out was I wrote a short 'book' (its like 30 pages) just explaining who I am, why the change and answering questions I felt may pop up, or people would be too nervous to ask me. Everyone I gave the book too came back to me telling me it was very helpful and I've been accepted by (so far) everyone who I've come out to. If you want, shoot me a pm and I can explain in more depth the things I went over in the book. What i've found is it really helps people understand, as best they will ever be able to, and I really laid it out for them so there would be absolutely no confusion.
As far as therapists. I found it easier to talk to a therapist, because that's what I hired him for, to sit there and listen to me talk. I think best when I can talk at someone, so being able to talk in his general direction really helped me sort myself out. Since then he's taken complete advantage of me and was (and still is, though that'll be changing soon) leading me on, trying to get as much money out of me as possible, but int he early days he was generally a good help. Just make sure you do your research on who you decide to use. All the signs were there that my therapist was going to turn out to be a bad human being but I had no local FTM support and I was naive and desperate, so I settled.
Anyways, everyone here is very helpful and we are happy to answer any questions you may have.
Welcome to the forum ;D
As far as therapists. I found it easier to talk to a therapist, because that's what I hired him for, to sit there and listen to me talk. I think best when I can talk at someone, so being able to talk in his general direction really helped me sort myself out. Since then he's taken complete advantage of me and was (and still is, though that'll be changing soon) leading me on, trying to get as much money out of me as possible, but int he early days he was generally a good help. Just make sure you do your research on who you decide to use. All the signs were there that my therapist was going to turn out to be a bad human being but I had no local FTM support and I was naive and desperate, so I settled.
Anyways, everyone here is very helpful and we are happy to answer any questions you may have.
Welcome to the forum ;D
Title: Re: Im new with a few questions...
Post by: DriftingCrow on February 20, 2013, 08:20:59 PM
Post by: DriftingCrow on February 20, 2013, 08:20:59 PM
Quote from: Sebby on February 20, 2013, 06:48:54 PM
What I did to come out was I wrote a short 'book' (its like 30 pages) just explaining who I am, why the change and answering questions I felt may pop up, or people would be too nervous to ask me. Everyone I gave the book too came back to me telling me it was very helpful and I've been accepted by (so far) everyone who I've come out to. If you want, shoot me a pm and I can explain in more depth the things I went over in the book. What i've found is it really helps people understand, as best they will ever be able to, and I really laid it out for them so there would be absolutely no confusion.
That is a brilliant idea! I am totally going to do that, even if I don't give it to people it'll probably be helpful to sort things out in my head and find the best wording for people.
Title: Re: Im new with a few questions...
Post by: Bastian on February 20, 2013, 09:42:07 PM
Post by: Bastian on February 20, 2013, 09:42:07 PM
Incase anyone is interested, I posted about the book just now, here: https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,136075.msg1090690.html#msg1090690 (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,136075.msg1090690.html#msg1090690)
Title: Re: Im new with a few questions...
Post by: Liminal Stranger on February 21, 2013, 03:45:21 PM
Post by: Liminal Stranger on February 21, 2013, 03:45:21 PM
Welcome to Susan's, NoIntentions!
I'm lacking in the communication aspect too, except somehow that goes away when I type. Screw speaking :P
A therapist is supposed to be someone who "gets" you, and you can just sit there and ramble for a bit without any judgement or wrath striking you down for what you say. Pretty awesome, actually. Definitely get one because they're essential in sorting things out, and you can be out to them without being out to your family if you just say you need one to sort out some issues. A gender therapist, if you can get one, is especially helpful since they are knowledgeable in that specific area, but a general therapist can be of great help nonetheless. Knowing who you are is the first step, and it's a big one to make. Happy to hear that you've been able to overcome that first hurdle. But gain some confidence, and once you've picked up enough steam, make a flying leap over the next one and let people know, but only when you are ready to do so. There's no big race, so there's no reason to rush. Timing is everything, my friend.
I'm lacking in the communication aspect too, except somehow that goes away when I type. Screw speaking :P
A therapist is supposed to be someone who "gets" you, and you can just sit there and ramble for a bit without any judgement or wrath striking you down for what you say. Pretty awesome, actually. Definitely get one because they're essential in sorting things out, and you can be out to them without being out to your family if you just say you need one to sort out some issues. A gender therapist, if you can get one, is especially helpful since they are knowledgeable in that specific area, but a general therapist can be of great help nonetheless. Knowing who you are is the first step, and it's a big one to make. Happy to hear that you've been able to overcome that first hurdle. But gain some confidence, and once you've picked up enough steam, make a flying leap over the next one and let people know, but only when you are ready to do so. There's no big race, so there's no reason to rush. Timing is everything, my friend.