Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Kia Ora,

Just out of interest, why do you 'think' you are transgender?

Perhaps you think it's a god-thing? That is, a deity made you this way for a reason [perhaps to teach the righteous religious the art of tolerance, acceptance and compassion] ...

Or

Mother Nature trying to correct an imbalance of  male and female energies

Or

A biological blunder...

Or is your answer :

Don't know...but...

Or

Don't know and really don't care FULL STOP...

Or

Something else.............

For example an extraterrestrial scientific experiment on what they see as an inferior species   ;) ;D ...No wait...You might seriously be thinking this...

* Or is it Karma ? *

::) *  I guess in a sense it's the billion dollar question...*
Metta Zenda :)

I get depressed and want to cry when I think about living the rest of my life as a yucky boy.  :icon_tears:

I'm the reincarnation of one of my mom's self-induced miscarriages come to punish her I guess. ^.^

Quote from: ~RoadToTrista~ on February 21, 2013, 10:28:15 PM
I'm the reincarnation of one of my mom's self-induced miscarriages come to punish her I guess. ^.^

Kia Ora Trista,

::) Karma works in mysterious ways...

Metta Zenda :)

My sister was taken away by social services, so, according to my mom, I'm just trying to replace her as the daughter of the family.  ::)

Quote from: DianaP on February 21, 2013, 10:39:25 PM
My sister was taken away by social services, so, according to my mom, I'm just trying to replace her as the daughter of the family.  ::)

Kia Ora Diana,

Sorry to hear about your sister...However it does explain your mother's reasoning-a way for her to justify her position...Not that I'm saying for one minute she's right...

Metta Zenda :)

I've gone through many different theories, including a past lives regression that took me back to a life in the 1940s as the abused wife of a farmer, and the conviction that I've been female in nearly all my past lives. This sometimes included the speculation that I had finally come to entertain the thought that life might be easier as a male, and this was some deity's idea of a joke (or expression of karma). Also had the feeling that, if I managed to get through this incarnation "okay" maybe it would be the last one.

Mostly, these days, I try not to overthink it.

I many expand on this later, when it's not too late at night to do the topic justice.

I don't know per say...but I think all people who are minorities are effectively what black is to white, yin is to yang, god is to "Satan" (the opposer). We are the fool, the joker, the trickster incarnate. A living symbol of change, rebellion, and ultimately compassion, love, and understanding...

I don't think of it as a kind of "destined" thing if that makes any sense- more of, I simply happen to be happier living as male than female. Random chance? I think of it in the same way that I think of the fact that I do not like asparagus. XD

I'm quite possibly wrong and I don't mind because I don't care about the answer nearly as much as I care that I have made good decisions about it. And so far, I'm inclined to think I have.

Kia Ora,

::) I had read somewhere that some believe being 'transsexual' is the next stage on the evolutional ladder ie, "A gradual process in which something changes into a different and usually more complex or better form."...I can't remember where but I'm sure I did read it...Or was I just dreaming  :icon_bong:

Metta Zenda :)

Quote from: Kuan Yin on February 21, 2013, 11:19:14 PM
Kia Ora,

::) I had read somewhere that some believe being 'transsexual' is the next stage on the evolutional ladder ie, "A gradual process in which something changes into a different and usually more complex or better form."...I can't remember where but I'm sure I did read it...Or was I just dreaming  :icon_bong:

Metta Zenda :)

Or we are entropy...(See quantum physics pg 152) lol.

I think whatever mapped out my brain and whatever mapped out my body had a bit of a dispute and developed in opposite directions, only to drift even further apart at puberty.

My belief is that the most natural form of our energy is genderless, and identical to all other energy with layers outside the center being what makes us individuals, and close to the core is something that determines gender identity. It can be anywhere on a spectrum, but it is a deep sense of who we are. I think when the characteristic assigned either at birth or over the years refuses to agree with the body, you get a trans* person. I don't think there's anything spiritually related, though someday our existence could be construed as a lesson in acceptance. I see it as a clerical error that happens to screw up lives without meaning to.

I'm not totally, 100% sure. I feel like feminine and female expression is more "me". I feel more genuinely "me" if I think of myself and am regarded by others as female. I make sense.

There's also a desire to be soft, and pretty in a female kind of way, and also something else that I don't quite understand. It's why I'm not content being a "girly guy". There's something else to it.

There are more reasons. I can go on.

Quote from: Sky-Blue on February 21, 2013, 11:21:55 PM
Or we are entropy...(See quantum physics pg 152) lol.

Kia Ora Ciel Bleu',

It's a  Possibility...One of many...

Metta Zenda :)

Gee all your answers make me feel rather boring.  :D

/useless post

I think it has to do with reincarnation and karma, but not in the usual sense that everyone understands those terms.

I like to think that life is a cycle of reincarnations and that when you die you don't go on to an eternal reward or an eternal punishment, but you continue on as yourself in this plane or another.   I don't believe in Karma, per se, and I don't believe that anyone is transgender, or poor, or crippled or anything else because somehow they deserve it from a past life or because some force or diety is punishing or rewarding them...  but I do believe in karma in the sense that we are the people that we allow ourselves to become.  If I'm greedy, I'll become the sort of person who values money over friendship.  If I'm loyal, I'll become the sort of person who stands by what they believe in. 

Out of all of the things I may have in this life, the only thing that I can take with me when I die is who I am and what I believe.  And to some extent who I am and what I believe affects the circumstances of my birth.

And so... somehow before this life I must have thought that being male would be better than what I had before.  Somehow a female soul with female sensibilities decided that having a penis would make this life better than the last one.  (Considering the state of the world, that's not such an unreasonable assumption.)

All things considered, I really, really got that one wrong. If this lifetime has a major life lesson for me it would be 'Make sure the book matches the cover' next time.
So next time I'll do better.  Next time will be different.  Sure I'll probably get something else wrong, but I definitely learned my lesson on gender.

Is any of this real?  Maybe not.  But it keeps me focused on being the type of person I want to be before I die and it gives me a fairytale to keep away the existential hopelessness and nightmares.  I have to believe... because if this isn't real... then this life and the afterlife are in vain and the only salvation is oblivion.

(Sorry that went to a bad place...  actually next life I'm coming back as Twilight Sparkle.)

If I have a choice before birth Ill choose it
It is a good experience when you accept it
Just bad thing about being trans is that I didn't accepted it earlier and was so scared of it.

Quote from: Kuan Yin on February 21, 2013, 10:37:09 PM
Kia Ora Trista,

::) Karma works in mysterious ways...

Metta Zenda :)

She really does think I'm reincarnated from it because I have this very weird birthmark on my stomach, lol

I really believe that, all things considered, I'm blessed to be the way that I am. Yes, I envy those who have never had gender issues, and I wish that I could just be "normal" all the time. But at the same time, it has taught me SO much as a person. I've had to step beyond my comfort zone, learn to have empathy for others if I expect to receive the same empathy in return. And it really has made me a better person: more loving, more caring, more patient and understanding, and more sympathetic.

When I've asked the good Lord "Why? Why do I have to go through this?," though, the answer that I've increasingly been getting was because I had to learn to stand up for myself. All through high school, all through college, I've been a COMPLETE pushover when it comes to standing up for things that I believe in. I just have way too much of that "good girl" mindset in me, the same one that keeps women from asking for promotions and challenging others even when they know that they're wrong... seeking the approval of others over their own. And I've always acted EXACTLY like that. I don't know how to live for myself, because I've always lived to not offend others. Well, now it's time to unlearn that, and finally learn to be my own person instead of needing the approval of others to feel worthy and feel accomplished.

I've also done a few past-life regression sessions, and supposedly in my last life I was a woman named Annie, born in 1926, who was a teenager in the 1940's and a working woman during the 1950's. Supposedly, she spent her entire life having internalized the "perfect family" image, and constantly felt like a complete failure because she never married and never had a family while all of her close friends did, and she ended up working a dead-end job at a department store for her whole life, never having the gumption to do ANYTHING to change the circumstances that she hated so much, and tore herself up over so much. And even though she was quite beautiful, she never learned to love herself. (logic: "if nobody loves me, there must be something wrong with me," self-defeating attitude, blah blah blah.) So in many ways I believe my current situation is a continuation of that. I had this regression session LONG before I finally admitted my transsexualism, and LONG before I entered the working world, (like in my junior year of college when I pretty much couldn't think of anything but class work,) and only now am I realizing all of these connections to my current state of mind and my current situation. It's almost like God is saying to me "well, you never learned to love yourself when you really were a beautiful woman, so now it's time for you to learn to love yourself under the most unimaginable of circumstances. Get going on it."

And I still haven't quite learned this. Ever since I started HRT, I have been FREAKING out about how un-passable my "girl mode" is. And I'm just constantly fighting the battle between "be myself and don't care what anyone says," and "wait until I'm feminine enough to pass so that I don't get any weird stares."

Sometimes you just have to keep repeating things, in different circumstances, until you finally learn the lesson that you were supposed to. I'm still working on it.

Quote from: Kuan Yin on February 21, 2013, 11:19:14 PM
Kia Ora,

::) I had read somewhere that some believe being 'transsexual' is the next stage on the evolutional ladder ie, "A gradual process in which something changes into a different and usually more complex or better form."...I can't remember where but I'm sure I did read it...Or was I just dreaming  :icon_bong:

Metta Zenda :)

Sorry to point this out, but that is an incorrect definition of evolution (at least, in terms of species). Unless being trans is somehow more conducive to surviving and reproducing in our current environment, we are not the next stage.

Probable reason: No biological process is perfect. There's the hormones thing that's been explained to me. Also, I have some form of mosaicism which I want to look into someday to see if that affected anything for me.

For ME,i believe it is fate.as odd as it may sound,i do not believe i was ment to *be* a woman but live as one for one purpose and that was to have two sons,aside from having an understanding on both sides.Then again i do not see myself as trans in its true term,but a man.I have always tried *and for over 30 years mind you* to be the perfect woman in every way but every time i would get disappointed when shown it was wrong.i have battled it for a long time,not knowing who i was *ment* to be but things have become very clear to me and i now have no doubts whatsoever.I have even had dreams on this subject,things clearly pointed out to me.For example,after finally picking a name,i asked a male friend to start calling me this and when he did-i felt comfortable,unwavering,no second thoughts.Of course this is small but also my body its self *yes physically* it knew it was ment to be male *long story there*.This is a question we can only answer personally.

I was born and raised male, but I only know how to see myself as female.  Since I'm no longer trying to force myself to see myself as a boy I'm actually really excited to get out of this gender :)

when I where younger I belived being trans where something about your past life.
that ex, I would have lived my life as male who hated women and threated them badly, and then I had to become "a woman" to understand and gain respect for them.

now when I am older I am not all sure what exactly makes people trans, I have tried to blame social thing, like "that I didnt try hard enough being a girl" but it also seams wierd and I dont like the idea,

thinking of being a girl simple makes me sad and thats why I transitioned in the first place.
insteed I have turned it around, that when gender varientations is fluid in nature this must also be in the human world.

theres many provements of this, yet the typical mordern sociaty have very strick genderoles, and views who got to infect people mind of what is natural and what is unnatural. can you really take a guy serious, whos agument for something is unatural while his sitting in a radiostudio eating candy with I dont know how many wierd things I dont have a idea on what would be.

I belive it must be natural that we are all diffrent so by that it should also be natural why we are transgender, some people just cant accept that.

what exactly makes someone trans is unsure.. but I guess it could be a kind of intersex thing with the brain,
both my parrents actually have something wierd going on with there homones, and my dad ex had too little T in his body when he where at my age. Maybe this could have infected me.

Whatever god is up there is an evil harpy fingering herself to my pain.

Quote from: Sky-Blue on February 21, 2013, 11:11:12 PM
I don't know per say...but I think all people who are minorities are effectively what black is to white, yin is to yang, god is to "Satan" (the opposer). We are the fool, the joker, the trickster incarnate. A living symbol of change, rebellion, and ultimately compassion, love, and understanding...

While I've felt this from time to time (along with dozens of other feelings and interpretations) I'm not sure now where it fits with the experience I had when prescribed Celexa sent me into a mania, accompanied by a kind of religious vision (keep in mind that I am hugely skeptical about such things, but did grow up in a religious background and spent a great deal of my childhood asking God to fix me or make me whole and consistent outwardly to what I felt inside).

The vision involved a large group of godesses, who in essence appeared to me, telling me they were there to protect me from the flood of information that was flowing in on me at the time, threatening to overwhelm... I had the strongest impression that without their presence, the flow of images, ideas, and information would almost literally burn out my brain, and they assured me that they would prevent that, and preserve the information that was of value, and that, through them, I would be able to access what I might need of that information through my connection to them. This got me through an otherwise sleepless and agitated night.

In the morning, the day after Valentine's Day, I had a wonderful conversation with my father-in-law, one of the most open conversations I'd had with him -- he was there to accompany me to my therapist, since at this point everyone was pretty sure I was having a manic episode.  At the therapist's office I literally collapsed just outside his door, had lost the ability to maintain the control for any longer. Disturbing at that might sound, I compare it to what happens to others in a manic episode, and it is mild and safe by comparison.

What I can recall from that moment onward, at least for the next 18 to 24 hours, is mainly a very dark vision... the collapse was presaged by the appearance (and here's where I finally bring this back to context) of a single trickster Goddess, claiming all the other Goddesses were a lie, some sort of ruse, something to put me into a false sense of security while she found the hooks to drag me into an abyss. And it got darker from there.

Apparently, I was still able to move to some degree, however. My therapist drove me to a nearby mental ward, and for some reason staff there were willing to think that I was aware enough of where I was to sign myself in voluntarily, though I don't trust the memory I more or less constructed a day or two later of having done so, after the other drugs had their chance to work.

This is a more mundane account (http://everything2.com/title/Celexa+Diary?author_id=710068#ebbixx) of what led to the incident.

I thought I had this online, but hosting of my personal website must have gone without my noticing...

She dubs the voices for jealous gods (https://docs.google.com/file/d/0B1tfKZYhe_pSNm1IenZELUMxR0E/edit?usp=sharing)

Since it's a fairly specifically formatted poem and would take an hour or more to reformat to the forum (and it's long, at ~8 pages) I've put it online in PDF format, combined with some watercolor sketches I did at the time that are also relevant to the visions.

Prolly cause I'm crazy.

Who knows though and honestly, most times I don't care, it isn't gonna change the more thought I put into it, so...

Quote from: crazy at the coast on February 22, 2013, 09:52:34 AM
Prolly cause I'm crazy.

Who knows though and honestly, most times I don't care, it isn't gonna change the more thought I put into it, so...

Don't dismiss "crazy" as a negative thing...

I would strongly agree, though, that some ways of dwelling on these things are not particularly constructive... sometimes the thinking (and feeling) may just be necessary, though.

If I've learned anything from doing it a bit more than I'd probably have liked, it's that, if I am going to dwell on it, it's better to channel that thinking and feeling into something creative. What that creative thing is depends entirely on what gives you comfort and helps to center yourself. 

There's little doubt, from one fairly uninteresting perspective, that I am crazy, but then so have been almost every person in history that I admire and appreciate. Crazy people have added more beauty (and comfort) to this world than their relative scarcity in numbers would suggest they could have done.  Some have also been very destructive.

It's my fervent hope, though, that there's at least some degree of choice in the matter of whether to add beauty and comfort, or sow discord and destruction (which may have its own kind of beauty, and may even serve a necessary purpose, though it's something I tend to try to avoid myself).

Quote from: Elspeth on February 22, 2013, 10:10:36 AM
Don't dismiss "crazy" as a negative thing...

I would strongly agree, though, that some ways of dwelling on these things are not particularly constructive... sometimes the thinking (and feeling) may just be necessary, though.

If I've learned anything from doing it a bit more than I'd probably have liked, it's that, if I am going to dwell on it, it's better to channel that thinking and feeling into something creative. What that creative thing is depends entirely on what gives you comfort and helps to center yourself. 

There's little doubt, from one fairly uninteresting perspective, that I am crazy, but then so have been almost every person in history that I admire and appreciate. Crazy people have added more beauty (and comfort) to this world than their relative scarcity in numbers would suggest they could have done.  Some have also been very destructive.

It's my fervent hope, though, that there's at least some degree of choice in the matter of whether to add beauty and comfort, or sow discord and destruction (which may have its own kind of beauty, and may even serve a necessary purpose, though it's something I tend to try to avoid myself).

Oh, I don't see being crazy as necessarily bad and I readily admit to anyone that I am a little off, but mostly in a good way.

And considering being trans is something I can't change, I've come to the conclusion that it doesn't matter why I am that way. The only explanation I give to people irl is that I've felt that way since I was little and finally needed to do something about it. Most people seem fine with it since they see I'm nice, kind, respectful and seem happy to them.

Quote from: crazy at the coast on February 22, 2013, 10:22:38 AM
Most people seem fine with it since they see I'm nice, kind, respectful and seem happy to them.

And that's probably the best attitude to have, since it'll help defeat those annoying negative stereotypes :).

I probably have PCOS. When I was told this (and given birth control = estrogen and such) to correct it, I became suddenly very upset, as if something very dear to me was threatened. Sorting through my feelings over that were how I more or less pieced together that I was trans. It really shouldn't have been a surprise to me since I always pretended to be a boy in my and my friends' in-jokes, but it was.

As such I think I'm probably trans because of hormones/brain stuff and because of living with those hormones/brain stuff and incorporating them into my experience of myself to the point where they're really a part of me and I wouldn't be myself without them.

For a while I thought that I "thought I was a boy" because in my last few incarnations I had been and my memory of them was still muddling my perceptions (this was when I was a teenager.)

At this point in my life, though, the why's and wherefore's are not as interesting to me as the how--how will I become myself?

I used to think that I was born into this body as punishment by some higher power or as a learning experience, and that I must have been a terrible misogynist. But that seemed weird because even before I realized what was wrong, I was always an avid believer in equality and acceptance, peace-loving even despite a temper and a love of GTA  :P

I think my second sentence ever was me demanding that my father and grandmother stop fighting because I've always hated people not getting along, even in combat. First one wasn't so meaningful XP But anyway, I don't think it's a lesson in self-acceptance, but just a genuine screw-up in the Parts Department.

Quote from: Kuan Yin on February 21, 2013, 10:16:42 PM
Kia Ora,

Just out of interest, why do you 'think' you are transgender?

Simple. I have a penis when I should have a vagina.  ;D

Quote from: EmSchuma on February 22, 2013, 10:24:49 AM
And that's probably the best attitude to have, since it'll help defeat those annoying negative stereotypes :).

From what I was told, some people expect our sort to be bitter, have bad attitudes, etc.  Apparently, they were surprised to see how pleasant I was.  Of course, these were people who knew I was trans due to someone they knew running their big mouths(lol)  before actually meeting me.

Quote from: crazy at the coast on February 22, 2013, 11:05:45 AM
From what I was told, some people expect our sort to be bitter, have bad attitudes, etc.  Apparently, they were surprised to see how pleasant I was.  Of course, these were people who knew I was trans due to someone they knew running their big mouths(lol)  before actually meeting me.

I like to think that there are plenty of worse things than being trans.  I could be a guy, for example! :laugh:

Quote from: EmSchuma on February 22, 2013, 11:21:11 AM
I like to think that there are plenty of worse things than being trans.  I could be a guy, for example! :laugh:

You mean the type of guy that's the "Big burley hairy manly man"? Lol

Or the white guy who is trying to look like a black rapper (also somewhat manly).

Quote from: Sky-Blue on February 22, 2013, 11:25:22 AM
You mean the type of guy that's the "Big burley hairy manly man"? Lol

Or the white guy who is trying to look like a black rapper (also somewhat manly).

Both?  Even when I was trying to be a guy I didn't want to be either.

Quote from: EmSchuma on February 22, 2013, 11:27:51 AM
Both?  Even when I was trying to be a guy I didn't want to be either.

T-T my attempt at a joke failed...

Play me off Johnny...(piano music)

I have 2 main theories, I was very premature & it was touch & go as to weather i'd make it through the first few weeks, I got told by a GP when I was a teenager that during development we have phases that can effect our health when born, if you are born at the right phase you will be healthier but if you are born at the wrong phase your health will be poor (this was at least 20 yrs ago so medical science may have disproved this theory).
I often wondered that if I wasn't premature then my mind would have had time to correct the mistake but current medical research is rapidly destroying this idea.

The other theory is that if there is truth in the belief of reincarnation, maybe we have to alternate between male & female each lifetime in an attempt at cosmic balance but this time I should have been female.
Or maybe i've always been female in past lives & at a subconcious level I know this.

Quote from: Brooke777 on February 22, 2013, 10:53:43 AM
Simple. I have a penis when I should have a vagina.  ;D

Kia Ora Brooke,

::) Good one  ;D

Metta Zenda :)

Quote from: crazy at the coast on February 22, 2013, 09:52:34 AM
Prolly cause I'm crazy.

Kia Ora CATC,

"Go sell crazy somewhere else...We're all stocked up here!"  ;) ;D

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xn74wA4qGpA (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xn74wA4qGpA)



Metta Zenda :)

Quote from: Kuan Yin on February 21, 2013, 10:16:42 PM
Just out of interest, why do you 'think' you are transgender?

Birth defect. I know lots of people with birth defects. Mine is just not quite as visible.

Kia Ora,

It would seem some here believe being trans-  is something to do with "reincarnation" so you might find this interesting :


The word "reincarnation" derives from Latin, literally meaning, "entering the flesh again". The Greek equivalent metempsychosis (μετεμψύχωσις) roughly corresponds to the common English phrase "transmigration of the soul" and also usually connotes reincarnation after death,[7] as either human, animal, though emphasising the continuity of the soul, not the flesh. The term has been used by modern philosophers such as Kurt Gödel[8] and has entered the English language. Another Greek term sometimes used synonymously is palingenesis, "being born again".[9]


Philosophical and religious beliefs regarding the existence or non-existence of an unchanging "self" have a direct bearing on how reincarnation is viewed within a given tradition. The Buddha lived at a time of great philosophical creativity in India when many conceptions of the nature of life and death were proposed. Some were materialist, holding that there was no existence and that the self is annihilated upon death. Others believed in a form of cyclic existence, where a being is born, lives, dies and then is reborn, but in the context of a type of determinism or fatalism in which karma played no role. Others were "eternalists", postulating an eternally existent self or soul comparable to that in Judaic monotheism: the ātman survives death and reincarnates as another living being, based on its karmic inheritance. This is the idea that has become dominant (with certain modifications) in modern Hinduism.

The Buddhist concept of reincarnation differs from others in that there is no eternal "soul", "spirit" or "self" but only a "stream of consciousness" that links life with life. The actual process of change from one life to the next is called punarbhava (Sanskrit) or punabbhava (Pāli), literally "becoming again", or more briefly bhava, "becoming", and some English-speaking. Buddhists prefer the term "rebirth" or "re-becoming" to render this term as they take "reincarnation" to imply a fixed entity that is reborn[12] Popular Jain cosmology and Buddhist cosmology as well as a number of schools of Hinduism posit rebirth in many worlds and in varied forms. In Buddhist tradition the process occurs across five or six realms of existence,[13] including the human, any kind of animal and several types of supernatural being. It is said in Tibetan Buddhism that it is very rare for a person to be reborn in the immediate next life as a human[14]


Metta Zenda :)

Quote from: Kuan Yin on February 22, 2013, 12:27:39 PM
punabbhava (Pāli), literally "becoming again", or more briefly bhava, "becoming", and some English-speaking. Buddhists prefer the term "rebirth" or "re-becoming" to render this term as they take "reincarnation" to imply a fixed entity that is reborn[12]

To whatever degree I've become attached to the notion, my own interpretation and feelings have tended to mirror (granted, I have not studied this in any systematic way or in great depth) the point-of-view that seems to come from the Mahayana division of Buddhism. From what I have studied, there seem to be a great range of ideas and specific beliefs about rebirth/reincarnation depending on the culture and the various branches within Buddhist practice and beliefs.

The descriptions in this site (http://www.urbandharma.org/udharma5/viewdeath.html) are fairly similar to my own.  The core issue for me being that, whatever the details or realities associated with it, the ultimate goal is to eventually be done with the conflicts, passions and so on, and to become one with a larger consciousness that is also perceived, at least by mortals, as a sort of transcendent nothingness, in the sense that it is detached from things and from materiality. Not sure I can state this clearly and briefly without also distorting it.

Quote from: Elspeth on February 22, 2013, 01:20:18 PM
To whatever degree I've become attached to the notion, my own interpretation and feelings have tended to mirror (granted, I have not studied this in any systematic way or in great depth) the point-of-view that seems to come from the Mahayana division of Buddhism. From what I have studied, there seem to be a great range of ideas and specific beliefs about rebirth/reincarnation depending on the culture and the various branches within Buddhist practice and beliefs.

The descriptions in this site (http://www.urbandharma.org/udharma5/viewdeath.html) are fairly similar to my own.  The core issue for me being that, whatever the details or realities associated with it, the ultimate goal is to eventually be done with the conflicts, passions and so on, and to become one with a larger consciousness that is also perceived, at least by mortals, as a sort of transcendent nothingness, in the sense that it is detached from things and from materiality. Not sure I can state this clearly and briefly without also distorting it.

Kia Ora Elspeth,

This is how I understand rebirth:

Quoted from an old post in the Buddhist section..

At first glance rebirth appears to imply there's a 'soul' or another form of eternal/permanent 'self',[some thing that passes/goes from one life to the next 'unchanged'] but this is not the case...If one transfers the flame from a lighted candle to an unlit candle, the new flame is contingent on the old flame for its existence but they are not the same flame. There is continuity between the two but they are distinct. Reincarnation would mean that the old flame is exactly the same as the new flame. Rebirth recognises there is a contiguous relationship of one life to the other but each is otherwise distinct.

Ones past karma is what fuels the birth and growth of the psycho-physical being...

Buddhism promotes  tolerance... Some Thai people believe that being born transgender is due to ones past transgressions - things like adultery,  they also believe that all of us will during our cycle of rebirths commit [or already have committed] adultery and  be born transgender...Hence why many Thais see this condition as one to be pitied and not ridiculed [but not necessarily protected]...

Metta Zenda :)

Quote from: agfrommd on February 22, 2013, 12:26:56 PM
Birth defect. I know lots of people with birth defects. Mine is just not quite as visible.

Another vote for birth defect.. Not that I really care.

Quote from: crazy at the coast on February 22, 2013, 09:52:34 AM
Prolly cause I'm crazy.

Who knows though and honestly, most times I don't care, it isn't gonna change the more thought I put into it, so...

Dearest crazy at the coast,

You ring my bells with your succinct and obvious answers.  We have so much work to do, "why" seems just navel gazing?  Still I confess to the "I am an alien" feeling when it occurred to me that I was so very different.  I too live on the coast and when pre-transitional I often answered, "crazy" to the daily question, "how are you?"

What very comprehensive insights this topic reveals---thanks all

Reformatted broken quote

Quote from: Kuan Yin on February 22, 2013, 11:38:34 PM
Buddhism promotes  tolerance... Some Thai people believe that being born transgender is due to ones past transgressions - things like adultery,  they also believe that all of us will during our cycle of rebirths commit [or already have committed] adultery and  be born transgender...Hence why many Thais see this condition as one to be pitied and not ridiculed [but not necessarily protected]...

This is probably why I tend to avoid getting any more specific (and don't tend to describe myself as Buddhist). While I'm all in favor of tolerance, I don't see my own rebirth as trans (if the intuitions I've had about rebirth are any kind of reality) as a consequence of past misdeeds, but more as the next step in a progression that I personally do not feel is in any way a regression or a punishment. I try to see being trans as a gift, in the way that the Hopi or other cultures, that saw being Two-spirited as a gift that tended to align with those needed to become a shaman.  I recognize that my present society does not necessarily embrace that, but still, I continue to do what I can to serve in that capacity.

Is it a challenge, particularly in such a society with naive notions of gender? Of course it is. But, even if the only benefit were to myself, I consider it far preferable to interpret this situation, over which I have no control other than in making choices about how to cope, as a gift to be cherished and embraced, and to try to convey that sense to others, along with other insights, when it's appropriate and constructive to share them.

Quote from: Elspeth on February 23, 2013, 08:54:44 AM
This is probably why I tend to avoid getting any more specific (and don't tend to describe myself as Buddhist). While I'm all in favor of tolerance, I don't see my own rebirth as trans (if the intuitions I've had about rebirth are any kind of reality) as a consequence of past misdeeds, but more as the next step in a progression that I personally do not feel is in any way a regression or a punishment. I try to see being trans as a gift, in the way that the Hopi or other cultures, that saw being Two-spirited as a gift that tended to align with those needed to become a shaman.  I recognize that my present society does not necessarily embrace that, but still, I continue to do what I can to serve in that capacity.

Is it a challenge, particularly in such a society with naive notions of gender? Of course it is. But, even if the only benefit were to myself, I consider it far preferable to interpret this situation, over which I have no control other than in making choices about how to cope, as a gift to be cherished and embraced, and to try to convey that sense to others, along with other insights, when it's appropriate and constructive to share them.

Kia Ora Elspeth,

Taking the word 'karma' literally, all it means is 'action' and from a Buddhist point of view it's the motivation/intention behind ones actions[past and present] that determines the outcomes, ie whether they can be perceived as wholesome or unwholesome...

For me 'karma' is part and parcel of life, there's no escaping it, even once one becomes enlighten, accumulated karma must run its course...But I guess a fully enlighten person/being just goes with the flow, that is, in absolute cooperation with the inevitable....

I see the world through karmic eyes, for this to happen that must happen- and for that to happen-this must happen...
Karma is just karma, there's no magic involved...

On a spiritual level, I was born transgender because of past karma,[action=energy...energy=action...matter/form =vibrating energy] and on a scientific level karma is also involved, ie possible hormonal imbalance or other biological defects/blunders...

However, regardless of the hows and whys, I have just accepted this was[in the past] the case and now get on with living my life...

Metta Zenda :)

Quote from: Not-so Fat Admin on February 22, 2013, 09:24:11 AM
Whatever god is up there is an evil harpy fingering herself to my pain.

I just about died laughing. I've thought the same thing so often it should be a top 40 hit on my internal radio station.

Quote from: Kuan Yin on February 22, 2013, 11:38:34 PM
Buddhism promotes  tolerance... Some Thai people believe that being born transgender is due to ones past transgressions - things like adultery,  they also believe that all of us will during our cycle of rebirths commit [or already have committed] adultery and  be born transgender...Hence why many Thais see this condition as one to be pitied and not ridiculed [but not necessarily protected]...

I'd like to say that, just as with any religion, there are many forms of Buddhism.   There isn't a single doctrine that covers all Buddhist beliefs and some sects and schools are more tolerant than others.
For myself, I have difficulty accepting the idea that rebirth is tied to particular acts or transgressions.  To say that I'm trans because of a past adultery has more to do with a value judgement about adultery than it does about being trans.  It would make as much sense to say that I should die from famine in this life because I was a glutton in my last one.  There is a poetic justice to this sort of idea of karma and retribution, but it is still tied to the notion of an outside agency enforcing a moral doctrine of right and wrong.
In practice, I think that the idea that those who suffer do so because past transgressions leads to less compassion rather than more.  It allows you to discount the sick, the poor, the hungry and the disabled as somehow being deserving of their fate.

I believe in Karma and Retribution, but I believe in the sense that every action has a natural reaction and every deed has a natural consequence.  There isn't a need for any outside moral agency to enforce it.  The only person who can decide why you have this life and what you can learn from it is you.  Perhaps being trans is a necessary step forward in your evolution towards enlightenment.  Depending on how you view it, it could be either a reward or a punishment and depending on what society you are born into you might experience social acceptance or rejection. 

For myself, I think that part of the path to enlightenment is to not be concerned about anyone's karma or transgressions but my own. 

Quote from: SunKat on February 23, 2013, 02:26:53 PM
I'd like to say that, just as with any religion, there are many forms of Buddhism.   There isn't a single doctrine that covers all Buddhist beliefs and some sects and schools are more tolerant than others.
For myself, I have difficulty accepting the idea that rebirth is tied to particular acts or transgressions.  To say that I'm trans because of a past adultery has more to do with a value judgement about adultery than it does about being trans.  It would make as much sense to say that I should die from famine in this life because I was a glutton in my last one.  There is a poetic justice to this sort of idea of karma and retribution, but it is still tied to the notion of an outside agency enforcing a moral doctrine of right and wrong.
In practice, I think that the idea that those who suffer do so because past transgressions leads to less compassion rather than more.  It allows you to discount the sick, the poor, the hungry and the disabled as somehow being deserving of their fate.

I believe in Karma and Retribution, but I believe in the sense that every action has a natural reaction and every deed has a natural consequence.  There isn't a need for any outside moral agency to enforce it.  The only person who can decide why you have this life and what you can learn from it is you.  Perhaps being trans is a necessary step forward in your evolution towards enlightenment.  Depending on how you view it, it could be either a reward or a punishment and depending on what society you are born into you might experience social acceptance or rejection. 

For myself, I think that part of the path to enlightenment is to not be concerned about anyone's karma or transgressions but my own.

Kia Ora Sunkat,

Yes, as far as other belief systems are concerned Buddhism does 'not' have the monopoly on tolerance, however throughout the different schools "tolerance' and 'acceptance' and of course 'karma' are key components...I was just pointing out why it is most Thai people are tolerant of their 'very large' transgender population....

Sadly many Westerners fail to understand the Buddha Dharma where compassion for other sentient beings, regardless of ones past karma is paramount, instead many 'through lack of understanding' latch on to what they see as the negative aspects of Buddhism....

However if how a person views their present circumstances [being transgender] brings them peace of mind, then so be it, I'm truly happy for them...And if it doesn't.........I can only  sympathise with their plight...And wish them well, on their journey of 'self' discovery or in the case of the Buddhist  "non' self discovery...

Metta Zenda :)

Personally I think it's a genetic issue. I doubt a deity or God would be cruel enough to do this to someone.

As for karma, i've always tried to be a good person. When I was a child on holiday in Spain I spent all my money on burgers to feed the stray dogs, unless of course they've developed some kind of atherosclerosis from eating McDonalds and now i've become as I am now due to karma.

But seriously, I believe it's a genetic issue, possibly a hormonal disorder stating in the womb. Female brain male body concept.

But I don't really know, i'd just like to be happy.

Quote from: ConfusedGirlRuby on February 23, 2013, 03:28:25 PM
Personally I think it's a genetic issue. I doubt a deity or God would be cruel enough to do this to someone.

As for karma, i've always tried to be a good person. When I was a child on holiday in Spain I spent all my money on burgers to feed the stray dogs, unless of course they've developed some kind of atherosclerosis from eating McDonalds and now i've become as I am now due to karma.

But seriously, I believe it's a genetic issue, possibly a hormonal disorder stating in the womb. Female brain male body concept.

But I don't really know, i'd just like to be happy.

Kia Ora ConfusedGirlRuby ,

That's funny... ;D

Metta Zenda :)

Quote from: Elspeth on February 21, 2013, 11:10:44 PM
I've gone through many different theories, including a past lives regression that took me back to a life in the 1940s as the abused wife of a farmer, and the conviction that I've been female in nearly all my past lives.

I've thought this same thing in my head. The only difference is I don't have any idea who I was I just think that in past lives I've always been female but I did something wrong in the last life i led and now I'm being punished. On a more biological level, I think maybe i was exposed to too much estrogen in the womb. Or maybe i was exposed to testosterone and that forced me to be male. Either way, I've always had a problem with my birth sex. In first grade, i got caught playing dress up and got in a lot of trouble which since then has forced me deep in the closet. But not so deep I have denied being transgender.

Quote from: DianaP on February 21, 2013, 10:23:12 PM
I get depressed and want to cry when I think about living the rest of my life as a yucky boy.  :icon_tears:

I hear you there i spent many sleepless nights crying to myself about it glad thats over now though, now i just cry at music and movies and pretty much anything XD was a very depressing thought that my body would gradually get more and more masculine with age when im such a girl inside :P

As with any human behaviour, I think it's a combination of nature and nurture. I had some physical female characteristics when I was young: one of my nipples budded and I had a redundant female component on one of my testes removed. These are relatively common during male adolescence, apparently (but I don't know how often these sorts of characteristics appear together). I'm also well within the female digit ratio range (though opinions differ on what this actually proves). Given these factors, perhaps my brain was subject to oestrogen in vivo (nature), which subsequently imbued me with a proclivity to seek out and adopt female behaviours (nurture).

Even considered as singular influences, it appears that either nature or nurture can be very powerful with respect to determining behaviour and a perception of self and others. There are so many additional variables in this complex equation that I think it will be a long time before the question of gender and other human attributes will ever be fully realised. For now, I can only speculate on my own gender dysphoria.

Frankly, I really don't care why I am the way I am. As far as I am concerned, I was simply born this way, and now I have to live with it.

i wouldn't say so much as birth defect as i don't believe it to be a defect necessarily.  Scientifically speaking it has been shown that the Brains gender and the sex organs actually develop at seperate  times in the womb.  since all decision making is done through hormonal burst any disruption in proper  hormonal development can trigger opposing development of a child.  this is believed to be the reason there is a higher instance of MTF than FTM.  Contrary to this scientific evidence, psychological studies believe the discrepancy of FTM instances is due to the social acceptance of "tom boy" even in extremes allows for many FTMs the ability to "satisfy" there dysphoria .  Likewise,  the hormonal burst theory is not the only instance of evidence in producing a transgender status.  It has been shown in some studies to be congenital, I myself have 2 uncles who struggled with there gender identity one transitioned until external pressures stopped his progress.  then there is the chromosomal spectrum that is less binary than many believe to the point that to call them abnormalities doesn't fit.  if memory serves me right the prevalence of just klinefelters is 1 in 500 and the combined non-binary prevalence is believed to be 1 in < 100. In all cases however most studies show that the Brainwave patterning of a transgender person is in fact that of the opposite gender both before and after transition.   For this i believe that it is in no way of social construct that one is transgender however the array of transgender expressions and needs are of social construct. to this extent i agree with the social psychological assessment for the higher  percentage of MTF transsexuals which in a way disagrees with the hormonal burst being the only cause. I find that all scientific evidence to me suggests a variety of birth sex that are not always as evident or even chromosomal as they would seem. Through this i assert that my religious belief in the individual soul and reincarnation to be a likely possibility. I myself do not think i am being punished but that maybe given a choice in-between lives i decided to try male only to realize in life that I am a female soul.  this theological View however does not conform to most beliefs about the spirit itself.    even in religions based on the Hebrew god there is no direct conclusive mentioning of spirit and Sex however Androgenis sex is mentioned greatly with some angels presenting femininity  more than others for instance the archangel Haniel. Branching into Judaism however still relevant to all Hebrew god religions.  Likewise as mentioned buddist believe in the unified spirit which would seem to negate the possibility of the spirit having a sex yet Buddhist also believe in the reincarnation of specific spirits IE the Dali Lama so to suggest that the spirit is individual until it reaches nirvana. Likewise in reference to the Buddhas in nirvana one but incarnation individual.   this is one of the great contradictions of many Buddhist practices and beliefs yet much of this existence is a contradiction or paradox outside of the context of its usage.  seemed to have strayed a bit from my own beliefs which actually are a combined belief that there can not logically be only one answer to religion and under some fuzzy logic principles, which i wont go into here as it would be almost a paragraph itself,  I inadvertently can prove that the most probably answer is that all religions are true to the extent that it is only YOUR belief that matters. Most religions even suggest this possibility directly or indirectly.  Not sure if i got anywhere with that haha ohh well.

i know this sounds silly but i use to think it was magic  ::)

I'm another one who believes that it's got something to do with reincarnation but that it's got nothing to do with past lives, transgressions or karma.

I believe that being transgendered is just a part of existence and within the norms of human evolution.

I have a theory that as the Universe is constantly expanding, then the basis of all existence must be creativity and interaction. Nothing expands without some form of creativity and interaction. You, me and everybody else, we are part of the Universe and are also subject to the same principles - therefore our existence is all about creativity and interaction.

To achieve this creativity and interaction there must be a relationship to begin with, and I believe that the interaction is between two planes of existence - the physical (or natural) and the metaphysical (or spiritual).

A rock is physical. It is incapable of creativity without interacting with something else. Spontaneous creativity by the rock is impossible. It's physical, not spiritual. However life forms are capable of spontaneous creativity. A tree can create fruit. A bird can build a nest. We as humans are creative as well.

Like all other life forms, we can also reproduce. Male and female interact to create a new life in the form of a baby - again, creativity and interaction coming together to create something new. However I don't believe that life begins at conception.

You see any creative process is actually a cycle involving four stages - examination, intuition, conception and application. When we create we interact between our conscious minds and our souls through our subconscious. Creativity inspires, we listen to music and watch films and when we go to sleep we dream and this is what creates within us hope and the motivation to get out of bed in the morning.

We think it comes out of nowhere, but everything created comes out of the spiritual plane, but not knowing enough about it and not being able to see it, the spiritual lies beyond the range of our perception.

The creative cycle is reflected in many things, for example in the seasons of the year, the female menstrual cycle, anything we do creatively, and it is also reflected to me in the cycle of reincarnation.

The starting point is at the moment of death. Our souls separate from our bodies and break down, and we experience flashbacks from our lives (examination), we return to the spiritual (intuition) and then we are reborn (conception) and from that point forward we are living (application).

Sex and gender to me are both part of the natural, physical plane of existence.I believe that our souls have no gender or sex, but are the sum total of our life experiences.

However in order for there to be new life there must be both a body and a soul. The soul is eternal and is not part of the body, which is created out of the body of our parents, including the brain.

This coming together of body and soul is complex and I actually believe that the process of birth (or rebirth) lasts around seven years to the formation of the Life Script where we determine who we are, what our main objective in life should be, and how we are going to relate to other people.

Prior to that we are doing what we can to become acquainted with our new life. Our first five years is a process of discovery and exploration. Hand any object to a baby or small infant and it will examine it, try to put it in their mouths, and work out how it relates to everything else. At the age of two and three we are testing our relationships with other people in our lives.

Now if you've ever tried to create anything you will know that it doesn't always work out as you plan or intend. Sometimes you need to make modifications and sometimes that what you create turns out differently when the different components are put together a different way.

This is how I see being transgendered. Each of us is a complete human being, born without defect, only our souls cannot find a way of relating to either our bodies, our perceived gender role, or both.

Further from this I believe that gender dysphoria is a condition which often appears after the age of seven.

But then again, this is just my theory.   

I've never thought about it in terms of reincarnation, but I did think that maybe it's because some people need to suffer more to make the world a better place. If there is any kind of higher power power in the universe, maybe they decided I needed to be born as a woman to be a better man. I know I'm a proud feminist because I've experienced first hand the discrimination and awful social politics women go through, and I have a deep respect for them that most of my bio guy friends just don't, because they haven't lived it. As painful as it might have been for me, it's made me the person I am today.

These sorts of questions always strike me as rather odd, admittedly.

I don't 'think' I'm transgender for any reason at all - I simply am. The reasons why are unimportant, as far as I'm concerned.

Quote from: Tristan on March 22, 2013, 01:49:47 PM
i know this sounds silly but i use to think it was magic  ::)

Kia Ora Tristan...

Got my mojo working...

Muddy Waters - Got My Mojo Workin' (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8hEYwk0bypY#)

I just love Muddy Waters songs...

Metta Zenda :)

I'm confused by the question. Are you asking us to speculate about HOW we got this way or about WHY we were "made" this way? Both? Neither? You seem to be mixing them up, so maybe anything goes in this thread.

Stella B: Funny, I had one clear incident around that age that stood out as trans to me, but the full-blown issue didn't hit me until later.

Still waiting on some test results, but it's a real possibility that I had that post-natal organization of the brain that went in the male direction, leaving  boy brain in a girl body. I also think that the very core of who we are has no gender, but that it does have aspects seated fairly close to our core. If only that would have shown up when I was 3 or something, so that I wouldn't have been through hell. Gender was a nonissue back then; I could have claimed to be a purple stegosaurus named Bob and everyone would have laughed and gone along with it. Too bad my parents won't even try going along with it whether they agree or not. Sheesh, every time I look back on my childhood, more clues pop up.

Quote from: Arch on March 23, 2013, 02:10:07 PM
I'm confused by the question. Are you asking us to speculate about HOW we got this way or about WHY we were "made" this way? Both? Neither? You seem to be mixing them up, so maybe anything goes in this thread.

Kia Ora Arch,

Good point,...I guess it's a "Anything goes 'theory' thread" of both... ;)

Metta Zenda :)

Quote from: Kuan Yin on March 23, 2013, 04:30:45 PM
Kia Ora Arch,

Good point,...I guess it's a "Anything goes 'theory' thread" of both... ;)

Metta Zenda :)

Well, I did respond earlier, but I wasn't quite sure what you were aiming for. I don't care about the "how"--the biological reasons--and I don't believe in any kind of "why" the way that most people do.

Quote from: Arch on March 23, 2013, 04:59:52 PM
Well, I did respond earlier, but I wasn't quite sure what you were aiming for. I don't care about the "how"--the biological reasons--and I don't believe in any kind of "why" the way that most people do.

Kia Ora Arch,

That's a fair enough answer...

Metta Zenda :)

For me it started as early teen, I noticed I was built a tad different than my friends. I had smaller hands, feet etc. As I got older I noticed that I thought girl's clothes were much cooler than boys. I actually thought girls jeans fit better and felt better. I also always wanted my hair on the longer side. I just never felt right in boys clothes. I would wear a lot of girls jeans and it felt right to me.  Even when I went shoe shopping, I would be more interested in a pair of girls boots than boys tennis. I grew up in the 80's during the hair bands so people didnt think much of someone with longer hair, fitted jeans and boots. I mostly looked like girl people said , but it felt so right. I guess as I got older I have more of a gil figure, thin legs,small hands, small waist etc. Now it seems like my weight is more in my lower section. Boy if that doesn't say feminine..plus i'm the only person in my family that suffers from migraines inwhich only my mom and her sisters have all had sufferd from. None of my brothers have this problem. So I guess I've always thought I was a girl on the indside. Plus I get teary eyed during romantic and heart felt movies. That's very girly.  So I personally think i'm a girl on the inside, and I'm good with that.....Kayla

QuoteI think whatever mapped out my brain and whatever mapped out my body had a bit of a dispute and developed in opposite directions, only to drift even further apart at puberty.

Basically that. A developmental glitch left my brain waiting for a female puberty that never came. But perhaps now I can put right what once went wrong...

a couple of head injuries on two different occasions when I was 1 and 3 years old. or maybe I was born that way or maybe some other reason that can't be proven to someone else, especially if they already have some sort of idea in their head about it. What I tell people if they are silly enough to ask pretty much depends on what mood I am in.

I've got a gg lesbian friend who has this theory that being LGBTI is a natural form of population control! hahahah, Maybe some truth to it!
Me? The human mind is an amazingly complex thing and we really have so little knowledge on how it actually works but I believe that I am who I am from a combination of biological and environmental factors and experiences throughout my life. The old nature vs nurture question really.

I think about many things... most of them inane - but have never spent any time thinking about "Why think [I am] transgender"...

But would have to answer in much the same way that I would if asked why I think there is a moon in our sky: I don't "think" there is... it's there.

Kia Ora,

If you 'think' about it, there must be a 'common' cause and it must have something to do with our biological make-up...But what ?

Metta Zenda :)

As far as Im concerned I am a mistake of nature. Something went wrong and I got the wrong chromosome and had to live a life of hell thanks to it. It really is a suffering life but at the same time it probably makes us appreciate things that others dont. I see things and understand them from both perspectives while the majority dont get anything beyond themselves. Most men dont care about objectifying women and do it on a daily basis, they dont understand how hard things are for women while I do though I am 100% male inside. Who knows what I would have been like had I been born in the right body, this might have made me a better person

My only other option was I was being punished for something I did in a past life. Not completely sure I believe in reincarnation but maybe part of me does. What better way to punish me than this. Not that its fair to punish me now for what essentially I didnt do but when is life ever fair

Quote from: Kuan Yin on March 28, 2013, 12:35:39 AM
If you 'think' about it, there must be a 'common' cause and it must have something to do with our biological make-up...But what ?

I agree with this. As a scientist it interests me even more to know if there is some biological difference that makes us this way or not. Whether we can ever find that out or not though who knows but it would certainly be interesting. We all feel the same way so clearly all share the same basis. Maybe for different reasons (phychological or biological) but there may be something in all of us thats just not in others. Maybe a genetic thing, maybe a neural basis. The brain is so complex we may never fully uncover or understand all of what it can do

see this post is kind of misleading to me, your transgender, pretty much if anything you do blurs the gender lines, now what part on the name game you think you are is different, I think im transgender because society keeps saying I am, I know I am a transsexual woman because I believe I am and no other term feels correct to me....Now the way id translate your question is "What do you believe caused you to not fit the standard mode of identity?"   (What follows is personal opinion)
I put it this way, quoting CBS for this "A colorado man goes into a hospital for a kidney stone and leaves a woman" It was determined she had female anatomy therefore intersex would be most acceptable term. So if it is viable for a deviation to be hidden inside her and go undetected she would most likely continued as a guy, so if it can be many different cells, why then cant a deviation be in one cell so small and so out of place science hasnt found it, that throws the whole identity out of whack, kind of how christians respond to "Have you seen god?" "Just because you dont see him doesnt mean he isnt there" So just because we havent found this deviation doesnt mean it doesnt exist. The deviation could be caused by dumb luck, enviromental, our genes, or aliens but I believe that this is why it happens.

Why am I transgender? I have no idea. I don't think anyone really knows why. All I know is that it wasn't a conscious decision on my part.

Were I a religious girl, I would say that God doesn't give us any more than we can handle, and that he needed me to be male for someone in my life, or that I needed to have male experiences to be a better woman. This is what I plan on telling my religious right-wing family.

If believed in fate I would say that everything that's happened to me has been to prepare me to handle the problems of transition.

Personally, I don't believe in anything but the cold, hard, facts of science. And I'm okay with that. While I've struggled and had a pretty hard go of it, I wouldn't change anything.

As far as the "how" - I suspect it was because of a drug called diethylstilbestrol, or DES for short. My mom most likely took it when she was pregnant with me.

As far as the "why"? Who knows? But my thinking is that I have been given a unique condition that very few people have and I simply must make the best of it. It has made me much more humble and aware of many things that I never would have noticed as a regular guy. It's definitely a mixed blessing for me.

For me, it's not about thinking, It's just how you feel about yourself. I feel female, that's all I know.

I see it as a biological blunder, really. I'm Christian but don't believe God intervenes in absolutely everything. It's a birth defect in my eyes. That said, I guess I don't really see myself as transgender, as odd as that sounds. In my life, I'm just a guy whose body got messed up in the womb. I don't really take it beyond that. Maybe I will someday, but at this point that's how I feel most comfortable viewing it.

I don't see any positives to it. I don't think I personally experienced what it's like to be a woman so I can at least say I learned something. I was always treated like a normal guy by most of the people around me, and strangers too, because of my energy and the way I presented myself. Even when I went thorugh a very short phase of trying to look and act like a normal girl (didn't last long) to see if that would make me feel better (it didn't), people thought it was weird. :P

I wish I could be like some of you and see the positive aspects of being transgender, but I can't, at least in this point in my life. :)

Quote from: Eva Marie on December 18, 2013, 02:21:07 AM
As far as the "how" - I suspect it was because of a drug called diethylstilbestrol, or DES for short. My mom most likely took it when she was pregnant with me.

Chances are this is what happened to me.  My brother and I both had "testicular abnormalities".  I never went there with my Mom- i don't wish to inply she was at fault in any way.  Hell, I could be XXY for all I know.  My point is that asking "why" is irrelevant to me. In the end, it doesn't really matter to me why it is that I happen to be transsexual.  I just am, and I'm going to have a better life because I'm aware now that I can just carry on being that girl I always really was.  I don't want to beat myself up, my mother, genetics or anything else.  I'm a girl, period, the end. Dwelling on "why" is just a bummer that gets me nowhere.

Quote from: Jill F on December 18, 2013, 04:50:47 AM
Chances are this is what happened to me.  My brother and I both had "testicular abnormalities".  I never went there with my Mom- i don't wish to inply she was at fault in any way.  Hell, I could be XXY for all I know.  My point is that asking "why" is irrelevant to me. In the end, it doesn't really matter to me why it is that I happen to be transsexual.  I just am, and I'm going to have a better life because I'm aware now that I can just carry on being that girl I always really was.  I don't want to beat myself up, my mother, genetics or anything else.  I'm a girl, period, the end. Dwelling on "why" is just a bummer that gets me nowhere.

There is a doctor named Dana Beyer who is involved in medical studies on how DES causes transgender. She was a DES baby herself and ended up intersex and needing to transition.

I'm a man with a psychological or neurological defect which causes me to believe I have a female self image.

(Please don't assume I think this applies to anyone but me)

its genetic.  My mother has three tg siblings.  Just keeping up an old family tradition

My parents are apparently unable to produce children that aren't lesbian in some way

QuoteWhy do you think you are 'transgender ?

I don't. I don't consider it at all. I know who I am, always did. Now getting the rest of the world to see that and getting this body to be formed right is a whole other ball game.

Quote from: LordKAT on December 18, 2013, 12:26:51 PM
I don't. I don't consider it at all. I know who I am, always did. Now getting the rest of the world to see that and getting this body to be formed right is a whole other ball game.

Hmm, I think I like your choice of words there!

i've been rolling over that question in my head as long as i've known myself to be something weird, and i came up with a whole bunch of theories to explain it. most are religious, some scientific and some fanatic.

my first theory of all was that i was Harry Potter. yeah i seriously believed i was harry potter and thought dumbledore had disguised me in a girl's skin to hide me from voldemort. i was waiting for hagrid to come and remove the female wrapping and take me to hogwards. when i grew a little older i knew i couldn't really be harry potter, but i had to be some hero who had been disguised as a girl so that nobody would recognize me, and my real self would emerge once i reach the right age. (that's what my title means) and i had the alien idea too, that i was an experiment of some aliens. i didn't know more people like me existed, so most of my earliest theories were pretty self centered.

some of the religious theories i can recall right now include, the fact that nobody's life gets perfect. it has to have some glitch or other. being transgender was my glitch, and if i hadn't been born with it i might have got a glitch a lot worse. so bear with it. i'm transgender, and i'm gonna deal with my glitch. that's the theory i stand by now.
another one is that i was male in my past life. i've heard stories that you carry traits from your past life to next life, so it was a good explanation. the theory was solidified when my crush said she had been told a wife of a national hero in a neighbouring country by some palm reader. so bingo! i had to be that national hero!
there were times i seriously thought into this, and decided that i was spiritually gifted or that i had trained my mind well in past lives, that i had an insight beyond the general concepts of humans, such as gender differences. i also thought my dissociation problems had resulted from that.
sometimes i simply put the responsibility on karma, believing i had done something very bad regarding gender stuff in past lives.

looking into scientific aspect, i first thought i had testosterone instead of oestrogen in my blood, and i would prove it to the world through a simple hormone test and live as i want. sometimes i thought i had male sex organs inside, but female ones outside. i even thought i was producing semen when i had the white fluids. it didn't explain periods, but i stuck to the theory for a long time.
since i didn't show much obvious signs of being trans in childhood, i once thought i was going through a natural sex change. the most recent theory is that there's some glitch in my genes, and the natural selection theory proving to be true, my genes with that glitch will not be passed on to next generation unless science does some miracle to give me fully functional organs.

(did i say anything meaningful? anything related to the topic? it sounds like a random assembly of mismatching ideas to me. anyway, i liked typing it out.)

Genetic variation, most likely.

Things happen as we develop.

And genetic variation is essential for survival of any species on this planet.

We are helping humanity to evolve and survive!

Quote from: particle on December 18, 2013, 07:45:05 AM
I'm a man with a psychological or neurological defect which causes me to believe I have a female self image.

(Please don't assume I think this applies to anyone but me)

You could be right; it could be a psychological defect, where, as with other mental health conditions, your brain "tricks" you into believing that you're someone that you're not. I have similar thoughts occasionally, predominantly because I have the (likely delusional) idea that I can "fight it" and live as a complete male. To be honest, most of the time I find being transgendered really tedious. It's just really boring having gender at the forefront of my thoughts every day. I imagine that if my brain matched my body I would rarely think about my gender. I mean why would I?

The alternative is that you, we, have brains that are structured much like female brains. This is not just conjecture on my part, there are many recent studies now showing distinctive physical differences between male and female brains. Yes, there are probably more similarities between male and female brains than there are differences, but it could be that those few differences are enough to make the gender distinctions at a neurological level. I suppose you could call this a defect, but only in the sense that our brains have formed in the wrong body.

If it is the case that the brain does not match the body, in a very general and basic sense, I wouldn't say that we are referring to a defective brain. That is, the brain is functioning normally, but it identifies as a gender incongruous with the body in which it is housed. There is, however, another quite compelling theory that claims the brain is a product of how the body interacts with its environment. This theory is was formulated in response to the so far failed attempts at true artificial intelligence (AI) research, where self-awareness and consciousness can be recreated "in the lab".

The theory holds that, uncontroversially, the body is the input tool used to feed the brain information about its environment. But you can't do this quickly, as AI researchers have been doing so far, by punching and crunching data and then feeding it into their AI device. Rather, from the first to the last time a human picks up, say, a banana, it is not only identifying it's shape, colour, texture and smell, but it is compiling the entire experience as a whole. That is, everything to do with that banana is being processed. Time, place, sounds, emotional state, other minds, everything, so that the end result is an experience that forges an ongoing physical and emotional state of being that, combined with a perpetual myriad of other states, gives rise to consciousness.

I was going to write something about the "brain in a vat" thought experiment, but I've lost interest and probably said enough already.

As I said before, I don't know why I'm TG. But I do know that it's pretty much messed up my life for good. My partner just ended our relationship of over 10-years because of my TG disclosure. I am at odds with my being TG. I am yet to identify with anyone in the TG "community" at all (and that's not through lack of trying). I love being with women, but, as discussed with my ex, I will now have to be upfront about my gender/sexuality. This is great in that it means I'm seeking someone who will like me for who I am and that it's the right thing to do anyway. But it also not only narrows my partner prospects but leaves me in a very precarious position regarding disclosure – as you all know, once it's out there, it's out there. Lucky I have an introverted, private personality, I guess, because I'll be spending a lot of time alone. One of the things that irks me about this situation is that, even if I wanted to be more social, I don't really have a choice in the matter.





Edited for profanity

With regard to natural selection, mutations can be positive (adaptively advantageous), negative (adaptively detrimental) or neutral (no effect on adaptation).

Just sayin'...

Could be the multiple head injuries I received as a baby and child.


or maybe because of something my mother took or maybe some genetic thing or we are all really just asleep in tanks and basically dreaming everything that some alien machine race is wanting us to.


So basically, I don't know and really I don't think it matters.

As for whether it matters about knowing the how or why of being TG, I think that all depends on your stance. If you're happy with who you are, I can understand that ultimately it doesn't really matter. Conversely, if you're like me and find being TG an impediment to your life, then knowing how and why can be quite important.

Quote from: Jenna Stannis on December 18, 2013, 05:14:56 PM
As for whether it matters about knowing the how or why of being TG, I think that all depends on your stance. If you're happy with who you are, I can understand that ultimately it doesn't really matter. Conversely, if you're like me and find being TG an impediment to your life, then knowing how and why can be quite important.

Would knowing why make it not such an impediment?  or are you more looking for an explanation to tell others that could improve your chances of acceptance?

Just curious, not any sort of attack or anything.

Quote from: Tessa James on December 18, 2013, 03:06:05 PM
And genetic variation is essential for survival of any species on this planet.

We are helping humanity to evolve and survive!

Sort of. Genetic variation is one of the important factors in evolution, but that doesn't mean that the variation is always good.

For the most part, being TG is rather a negative, I don't see how it exactly contributes to human evolution and survival.

Maybe if being TG let you float stuff with your mind or something...

Quote from: Jenna Stannis on December 18, 2013, 04:36:19 PM
The alternative is that you, we, have brains that are structured much like female brains. This is not just conjecture on my part, there are many recent studies now showing distinctive physical differences between male and female brains. Yes, there are probably more similarities between male and female brains than there are differences, but it could be that those few differences are enough to make the gender distinctions at a neurological level. I suppose you could call this a defect, but only in the sense that our brains have formed in the wrong body

Not entirely sure where my surgeon was getting this, but he told my parents that if you biopsy the brain of a TG person, it will show their true gender (What they transitioned to). Which would mean that being TG is a physical defect.

Quote from: Mogu on December 18, 2013, 05:41:04 PM
Sort of. Genetic variation is one of the important factors in evolution, but that doesn't mean that the variation is always good.

For the most part, being TG is rather a negative, I don't see how it exactly contributes to human evolution and survival.

Maybe if being TG let you float stuff with your mind or something...Not entirely sure where my surgeon was getting this, but he told my parents that if you biopsy the brain of a TG person, it will show their true gender (What they transitioned to). Which would mean that being TG is a physical defect.

Well this is all personal perspective and experience but we TG learn how to adapt to sometimes extreme circumstances.  We share experiences that most people will never know.  Our adaptability allows us to live through the spectrum of gender and sex.  We survive and even thrive and help others coming after us to understand the diversity they may be exploring for the first time at age 6 or 60.  These are very real contributions and i only wish Susan's had been around back in the 1960s.  Being transgender is a plus for me as this acceptance helps me understand my life and make sense of the feelings and challenges I have experienced.  Different folks and different strokes.  And soft strokes work best for me thx;)

Quote from: big head horsey-face on December 18, 2013, 05:19:01 PM
Would knowing why make it not such an impediment? or are you more looking for an explanation to tell others that could improve your chances of acceptance?

No offence taken.

No, it's all about me, nobody else. Irrespective of what I discover, I doubt attitudes toward me would change. To them, I'd still just be trans.

Aside from that, there are a few reasons why "I gots to know". First, I'm just that sort of person; I have a curious mind and like to know how things work. Second, since I don't enjoy many aspects of being TG, it would be good to know whether it has an identifiable cause and if so whether that cause is reversible. I know that's an affront to many people here, but I believe that I should be able to express my views on my own situation. Third, if it is something that has no discernible origin, this too may put my mind at ease, as it is something out of my control and therefore something not worth worrying about.

I think the thing to remember here is that I'm not very happy with my gender. I can remember being this way since the age of 7, which likely means that, having had a relatively happy childhood, I was born this way. I believe that from that early age, and because I was TG, I slowly evolved into a very quiet and reclusive person. That is, I think it has dictated how my personality has developed into adulthood, mostly because I knew that I wouldn't be accepted by most people and so kept it a well-guarded secret. But that secret, despite remaining a secret, has driven a wedge between myself and family, friends and work colleagues, because I seem evasive, aloof and noncommittal. As such, I feel as though I've been held hostage by my gender dysphoria, and like any long-term hostage, I believe that the only joy I derive from being transgender could be likened to the joy or positivity linked to Stockholm Syndrome.

Quote from: Jenna Stannis on December 18, 2013, 06:15:49 PMSecond, since I don't enjoy many aspects of being TG, it would be good to know whether it has an identifiable cause and if so whether that cause is reversible. I know that's an affront to many people here, but I believe that I should be able to express my views on my own situation.

Saying that is going to get the same reactions you'd get if you went to an LGBT board and were talking about wanting to "cure" homosexuality. There's a reason why the treatment for what we suffer from is physical change to match your soul and mind. To "treat" it would be to fundamentally change the very core of your being. You would no longer be you. I have never heard of someone being successful in the long run with that kind of "treatment," just like someone who is "ex-gay" inevitably comes out years - even decades - down the road and admits that it did not work.

QuoteYou could be right; it could be a psychological defect, where, as with other mental health conditions, your brain "tricks" you into believing that you're someone that you're not.

The problem is with the body, not the brain. Who you are is never a problem. Depression is not "who you are," anxiety is not "who you are," but your very gender identity... that's a different story.

Quote from: DeclanQ on December 18, 2013, 06:33:14 PM
Saying that is going to get the same reactions you'd get if you went to an LGBT board and were talking about wanting to "cure" homosexuality.

Yes, it probably would attract some negativity, but they'd be mistaken for doing so. It's all about context. I didn't say that I believe being TG can be "cured", just that I would like to know if it is. I also didn't come onto these boards to be an arsehole and deliberately stir up ->-bleeped-<- by saying, I don't know, that being TG is all in your head. I also stated quite clearly that I was not generalising and only referring to my own experience of being trans. As a trans person, if I'm not free to talk about my own issues in my own way, then I don't see the point of this site. I don't know why expressing my own needs and desires should be so controversial.

Quote from: DeclanQ on December 18, 2013, 06:33:14 PM

The problem is with the body, not the brain. Who you are is never a problem. Depression is not "who you are," anxiety is not "who you are," but your very gender identity... that's a different story.

That's your reality and I genuinely respect it.
However, I haven't seen anything that supports what your saying, which goes to the heart of the point I was so carefully trying to make. As I said, it all depends on what your attitude is toward your being TG. If you are happy with it, then most likely you're not going to question it much. If, on the other hand, you're like me and are at odds with it, then you're going to be questioning being trans a lot more.

QuoteYes, it probably would attract some negativity, but they'd be mistaken for doing so. It's all about context. I didn't say that I believe being TG can be "cured", just that I would like to know if it is. I also didn't come onto these boards to be an arsehole and deliberately stir up ->-bleeped-<- by saying, I don't know, that being TG is all in your head. I also stated quite clearly that I was not generalising and only referring to my own experience of being trans. As a trans person, if I'm not free to talk about my own issues in my own way, then I don't see the point of this site. I don't know why expressing my own needs and desires should be so controversial.

Well, you can express your opinion if you'd like, but you can't be surprised when other people are frustrated with it. You have the freedom to share your thoughts, but so do we.

QuoteThat's your reality and I genuinely respect it.
However, I haven't seen anything that supports what your saying, which goes to the heart of the point I was so carefully trying to make. As I said, it all depends on what your attitude is toward your being TG. If you are happy with it, then most likely you're not going to question it much. If, on the other hand, you're like me and are at odds with it, then you're going to be questioning being trans a lot more.

There's nothing that supports the idea that it's just in your head and can be cured, either. There are certainly people who believed they were transgender and really aren't, and were suffering from some other kind of problem, but that's a different story. I'm not happy with it at all, I see it as a huge defect and a serious problem, but it's my body that's the problem, not who I am, who my soul is, and how my brain has been my entire life. I understand everyone has different experiences but if you're legitimately transgender, the only "treatment" is to match your body with your brain. If you "cure" your brain, you're losing yourself and are no longer the same person. It's not the case if you change your body. Our bodies have nothing to do with who we are.

Quote from: DeclanQ on December 18, 2013, 07:01:27 PM

There's nothing that supports the idea that it's just in your head and can be cured, either.

I never said that there was. If you're going to comment on my posts at all at least do justice to the context of the points I make. All of my above posts are couched in my own desire to find out more about my being TG and how important this is to me (as opposed to it not being important to others). Nowhere am I judging or telling anyone to act or live in a particular way. Moreover, you should really have read my entire post -- where I do discuss the brain-in-wrong-body phenomenon -- rather than cherry picking decontextualised sections that you then go on to disagree with. Are you familiar with strawman arguments, because you sure know how to mount one?

Back to the thread then :)

When I was first coming out prior to HRT I tried to explain to people this way.  I know what i look like and that people see a guy.  That is not who I am and when i looked in the mirror it felt like only my eyes were my own.  I have not really ever felt like a boy or a guy as my shadow feminine self stayed.  I sucked it up and did the best I could with the material at hand.  A lifetime of denial and shame did little for my psyche.  I imagined all sorts of reasons for why, including the alien being thing.  No, I'm human and transgender and maybe some day they will map our very atomic structure well enough to know why.  Till then let's enjoy who we are and celebrate our community of survivors and thrivers.

Steps taken in my transition have continued to confirm my gender identity as female.  This is a great place to be with the best integration and peace I have ever known.

Quote from: Anatta on February 21, 2013, 10:16:42 PM
Kia Ora,

Just out of interest, why do you 'think' you are transgender?

Perhaps you think it's a god-thing? That is, a deity made you this way for a reason [perhaps to teach the righteous religious the art of tolerance, acceptance and compassion] ...

Or

Mother Nature trying to correct an imbalance of  male and female energies

Or

A biological blunder...

Or is your answer :

Don't know...but...

Or

Don't know and really don't care FULL STOP...

Or

Something else.............

For example an extraterrestrial scientific experiment on what they see as an inferior species   ;) ;D ...No wait...You might seriously be thinking this...

* Or is it Karma ? *

::) *  I guess in a sense it's the billion dollar question...*
Metta Zenda :)

The voices in my head tell me so....


How about you Kia Ora?

I like to think what makes me trans is the same thing that makes me weird... Magic

Quote from: Jenna Stannis on December 18, 2013, 07:14:05 PM
I never said that there was. If you're going to comment on my posts at all at least do justice to the context of the points I make. All of my above posts are couched in my own desire to find out more about my being TG and how important this is to me (as opposed to it not being important to others). Nowhere am I judging or telling anyone to act or live in a particular way. Moreover, you should really have read my entire post -- where I do discuss the brain-in-wrong-body phenomenon -- rather than cherry picking decontextualised sections that you then go on to disagree with. Are you familiar with strawman arguments, because you sure know how to mount one?

I did read your whole post. My understanding is that you would rather not transition and would instead rather "cure" your brain so you are no longer transgender. If that's not what you meant and I misunderstood you, then I apologize. Edit: Reread your posts a few more times and I really don't think I misunderstood, especially since you didn't respond to this. Ah well, I still apologize if I was wrong.

Quote from: Tessa James on December 18, 2013, 07:57:08 PM

A lifetime of denial and shame did little for my psyche.

Perhaps a little surprisingly, I've never felt any shame about being TG. I kept it secret, yes, but that was so I could get on with my chosen lifestyle. But, yeah, I've never sat there feeling guilty and shameful and beating myself up about it.

Denial? Hm... Well, there's no denying that I'm TG, that much I've always understood (except during the early years when I had no idea what trans meant and therefore had no reason to question it). However, I don't think understanding is synonymous with acceptance.

Ah the no true transsexual fallacy...

No transsexual can be "cured"

If someone stops being TS, they weren't truly TS.

Quote from: particle on December 19, 2013, 02:45:07 PM

If someone stops being TS, they weren't truly TS.

Ah, back to the Salem Witch Trials, where the innocent drown and the guilty float to face punishment.

As if it were not hard enough coping with my gender dysphoria, I have to contend with this kind of backward thinking as well.

Quote from: Jenna Stannis on December 19, 2013, 04:02:54 PM
Ah, back to the Salem Witch Trials, where the innocent drown and the guilty float to face punishment.

As if it were not hard enough coping with my gender dysphoria, I have to contend with this kind of backward thinking as well.

How is that "backward thinking" while what you're saying is not? Not meaning to sound sarcastic, it's a legitimate question.

I was pointing out one of the fallacies of trans otthodoxy.

I thought I was agreeing with you a little.

So far I've said that it's all in our heads and that a lot of the definitions are tautological.  If anyone is getting killed it's me.

Ifyu this a philosophical argument, I'm fine with how GID is usually treated.

Quote from: DCQ on December 19, 2013, 04:19:23 PM
How is that "backward thinking" while what you're saying is not? Not meaning to sound sarcastic, it's a legitimate question.

That depends on what you think I'm saying.

Quote from: peky on December 18, 2013, 08:05:34 PM
The voices in my head tell me so....


How about you Kia Ora?

Kia Ora Peky,

Cut and Pasted from old post:

"I see the world through karmic eyes, for this to happen that must happen- and for that to happen-this must happen...
Karma is just karma, there's no magic involved...

On a spiritual level, I was born transgender because of past karma,[action=energy...energy=action...matter/form =vibrating energy] and on a scientific level karma is also involved, ie possible hormonal imbalance or other biological defects/blunders...

However, regardless of the hows and whys, I have just accepted this was[in the past] the case and now get on with living my life..."

::)* Just putting on my white mental health clinician's coat and gesturing to my assistant to have the straight jacket at the ready* :)  Now tell me Peky, how long have you been 'hearing" these voices ?  ;) ;D

Metta Zenda

Quote from: Anatta on December 19, 2013, 09:27:32 PM
Kia Ora Peky,

Cut and Pasted from old post:

"I see the world through karmic eyes, for this to happen that must happen- and for that to happen-this must happen...
Karma is just karma, there's no magic involved...

On a spiritual level, I was born transgender because of past karma,[action=energy...energy=action...matter/form =vibrating energy] and on a scientific level karma is also involved, ie possible hormonal imbalance or other biological defects/blunders...

However, regardless of the hows and whys, I have just accepted this was[in the past] the case and now get on with living my life..."

::)* Just putting on my white mental health clinician's coat and gesturing to my assistant to have the straight jacket at the ready* :)  Now tell me Peky, how long have you been 'hearing" these voices ?  ;) ;D

Metta Zenda

Oh, girl, twe (the voices and I) we go long way back...

<running away from the people in the white coats>


But serious...how do you know?

Quote from: peky on December 20, 2013, 12:54:48 PM
Oh, girl, twe (the voices and I) we go long way back...

<running away from the people in the white coats>


But serious...how do you know?

Kia Ora Peky,

If your question is directed specifically at myself  "How did I know ?"

At first I had a suspicion that I could/might be transgender, but I would have to say I 'knew' for sure after my doctor wrote out the first prescription and without hesitation I popped the pill (and have been a happy pill popper ever since)...Plus my congenital condition was later confirmed by a psychiatrist (well more than one actually)-So I've been certified sane on more than one occasion  ;) ;D

However how I came to suffer from the transgender condition , I really don't care about the how and why, I just accepted what 'is', afterwhich I made the most of it...

I hope this answers your question Peky...

Metta Zenda :)

Thanks Anatta!

So the questions you posted is; " Why do you think you are 'transgender ?"

My serious answer is because I have this innate and self-generated thought and feeling that tells me: "I am a female" despite having a male genitalia and XY chromosomal complement.

This innate unshakable conviction has been with me since I can remember

Its a blessing, a gift from God. Wether you believe or not, ur still gonna have these feelings, so i decided to change my outlook on it. I used to hate God for it, but now i praise him for it! It has given me an incredible insight to the female mindset. Im not one for boasting, but i can say honestly that many women wish they could be more like me. With the ability to breakdown "social" genders and determine the root cause of ones problem. People always come to me for advice because of this, and im only 22 years young... Far from a wise woman, yet incredibly insightful to the human soul. Had i not been born this way, i honestly belive i would be a  racist, sexist, bigot just like most of my male family.  And this world  dosent need more of those!

Just to play Devil's advocate here (I'm sure someone will tell me whether I'm out of line), what do we mean when we say that we "have insight into the female mindset", or variations on that theme?

I consider myself a proud production second.  ;D

Second to none, of course, GeWnYnNyNwEg.

Quote from: Jenna Stannis on December 21, 2013, 07:47:09 PM
Second to none, of course, GeWnYnNyNwEg.

;D

I suppose i see ur point. I am female, but to my physical world im still all male. So presenting as a male who has uncanny abilities to understand women makes me feel like i positively affect the lives of women around me.

I guess its not really tapping into a womans mind if you already posses one, but growin up as male means you know about men too. Something most cis gendered folk just dont get. Men will never understand women, and women will never understand men... But transgendered people can understand both.

Quote from: LilLivvy91 on December 22, 2013, 02:28:04 AM
Men will never understand women, and women will never understand men... But transgendered people can understand both.

Transgendered people are men and women. They may have a better idea of what life is like for the other but beyond that, women still don't make sense to me at times.

Lol! Agreed... Women are a rambunctious sort.

Yeah... I'm going to second this. I mean, I kind of understand men, because I was forced to be around them for so many years, but I never really "got" them. I never understood the whole male-pride thing, the whole need to be macho, the whole ripping on each-other as a means of social interaction thing, and especially never understood the whole "male bonding" thing which involves a lot of "stuff" but not a lot of bonding if you ask me. I also never understood that male desire to hide the body under shapeless bulky baggy clothing rather than things which fit well and show off the body.

I don't think many of us can truly say that we were really members of both genders. Most of us probably spent most of the years of our social lives in our birth sex being seen as some degree of oddball or abnormal. So we kind of understand it because we were exposed to the social expectations, but we probably never truly "get" why those expectations are there, because they feel wrong to us.

Yea, like my ex girlfriends always expect me to be a man,  to dominate them and really i just didnt kno how. I feel like i cheated them. I dont get that "male pride" either. But im helping my brother get over his and its worked marvelously for him

Well, my mom says she blames herself for it because when she was pregnant with me she prayed I wouldn't be a boy. She says my dad was so rough on my sister than she was afraid if she had a boy my dad would eventually kill him. Sooo she thinks God is punishing me for her mistakes. ::)

I don't subscribe to her theory obviously. I just see it as a medical condition I was born with. No different than the genetic cancer gene defect I have. It's just there, always been there, always will be there in some sense. All I can do is try to correct what I can to make my life as symptom free as possible.

I remember someone on the forums asking this question (it might even be on this thread but I couldn't bring myself to read through it):

"Could you live the rest of your life as a women/man[and be happy]?"

I know I could do everything I'm doing and more if I identified as female, but it would just feel wrong and no matter what I did, I still wouldn't be happy with myself. Male, boy, guy, dude, it all seems more natural to me anyways, and I feel more comfortable and more confident doing a wider range of things like cooking and knitting and lifting weights, pretty much anything. It's kind of weird, but that's how I feel :p

-RJ

im not . im a woman who happens to be a transsexual..until im post or that is..

I am a christian so please bear with me.
I have thought about this a lot and come to the understanding that my god did not make any sort of mistake which leads me to the question, why would he make me this way.
The easy answer could be he is getting us used to an upcoming era when gender does not matter, and we will be happy in whatever way this life becomes.
But i think a little deeper and i know my god does things for the better of us. So it must be yet another way to grow closer to him. But his so called church, has been unaccepting of people like us. And we have had to come together to support each other in this time. But i do believe we will be Accepted soon. As long as we continue to show love to each other as well as them, we can show how us humans are supposed to live like "him".
So i think its to teach us personally as well as a group of human beings to hold on to hope, and give all we can to better our society into a more accepting and loving place to be.

Or maybe wishful thinking but whatevs. :p

Quote from: Emo on December 30, 2013, 12:10:50 AM
I am a christian so please bear with me.
I have thought about this a lot and come to the understanding that my god did not make any sort of mistake which leads me to the question, why would he make me this way.

I'm Christian too, but I don't see it as a mistake. It's just a birth defect to me that needs to be treated like any other birth defect. If you were born with a cleft palate that made it difficult to eat and drink, you would have it corrected even though you were technically "made that way." Just my personal point of view but I hope it helps.

Well there goes my wishful thinking. Lol

But seriously, i agree.
I guess my whole schpeel was just a way to come to terms with it.

Quote from: Emo on December 30, 2013, 12:23:02 AM
Well there goes my wishful thinking. Lol

But seriously, i agree.
I guess my whole schpeel was just a way to come to terms with it.

Even if you agree with me, you can go deeper than that and believe there's a reason behind it. :) I just choose not to because it caused serious problems for me when I did. It's really just a matter of how you choose to look at things. If it comforts you to believe it was entirely deliberate, by all means, don't walk away from that belief. :)

Truth is i thought of it as a birth defect earlier today.
I just wanted to sound smart is all. :3

But i do think about these things a lot. Especially in the shower. :p
And at work. Tho i probably shouldnt do that. Lol.

Im just trying to make sense of everything right now. And i do mean everything. My entire life. Lol. But that comes with growth right?

Quote from: Emo on December 30, 2013, 12:36:04 AM
Im just trying to make sense of everything right now. And i do mean everything. My entire life. Lol. But that comes with growth right?

Absolutely!

Isn't there a Religion section around here somewhere?

I think that actually a huge mistake happened...
Even though I had a girls soul or whatever I was given a male body, the reason I can not know...and I think its better that I dont...
Anyway life has really deprived us from so many things...now we just need to claim them back... :)

Quote from: Emo on December 30, 2013, 12:10:50 AM
I am a christian so please bear with me.
I have thought about this a lot and come to the understanding that my god did not make any sort of mistake which leads me to the question, why would he make me this way.

We bring a lot more to the world than we take. We help people understand the differences between the genders and at the same time show them that gender is a home, not a prison. If I were God and creating humanity, I would feel it was incomplete without transgender people.

...besides, what's a narrative without a challenge to overcome?  :D

I feel differently after a dream/vision I had last night. It's a complicated one, but I believe in my case it was deliberate. Odd to feel so differently so quickly. Huh.

Quote from: Anatta on February 21, 2013, 10:16:42 PM
Kia Ora,

Just out of interest, why do you 'think' you are transgender?

Perhaps you think it's a god-thing? That is, a deity made you this way for a reason [perhaps to teach the righteous religious the art of tolerance, acceptance and compassion] ...

Or

Mother Nature trying to correct an imbalance of  male and female energies

Or

A biological blunder...

Or is your answer :

Don't know...but...

Or

Don't know and really don't care FULL STOP...

Or

Something else.............

For example an extraterrestrial scientific experiment on what they see as an inferior species   ;) ;D ...No wait...You might seriously be thinking this...

* Or is it Karma ? *

::) *  I guess in a sense it's the billion dollar question...*
Metta Zenda :)

Just look at me.  It's so obvious what else could I be.

I think that my biological body was a mistake, like others have said before me. I am a boy stuck in a girl's body. I want to go through with this sex change to make things right and be comfortable with who I really am.

I really don't know why I - or anyone else - is transgender. I know there are an abundance of theories on this subject and a great many opinions/perspectives, but nothing really gains traction for me. I just don't know.

This does not, however, stop me from asking this question. 'Why am I trans?'

One thing that consistently arises in considering this matter is how curiously congruent being transgender is with the rest of my life, with one of the central challenges I seem to face. More specifically, I have a really hard time speaking honestly about my experience with others. Really hard. Most of my life I have stayed very quiet and withdrawn about what's going on for me.

For a long while this was tolerable. Not nice, mind you, but tolerable. And then it became something else. Then it became intolerable and I started to feel like I was actually dying. It was like I was drying up and shriveling my way out of this world.

Perhaps five years ago, in utter desperation, I started asking, 'What the heck?!?' I started looking at what was going on and discovered I was holding secrets from (both myself and) the world. I was an addict. I had a crazy mother. I had been abused. And, finally, I am transgender.

So for some strange reason, I have had a life of troubling experiences and deep, dark secrets. As if addiction were not enough, I had been abused! As if abused were not enough, I had a crazy parent. As if... Being trans was/is one big part of this mix. It has struck me curious that this theme is so strong in my life.

As if this were not enough, I am now finding that each of these deep, dark secrets wants out. They each have pressure to them, these secrets. And they want into the world! So I now find myself now feeling like, if I want to live, I have to speak honestly with others. I have to do what I have never done: I have to speak honestly about all of this with others.

I don't like this very much. It's really hard and I am not very good at it. But I am doing it and, as I do, I find myself very slowly, very gradually coming back to life, coming back into life. So these events/situations that have been so awful for me through all these years are now, oddly enough, providing the push/motivation/fuel I need to come into this life and this world in a way I have never, ever done before.

It's all so very curious to me.

So, honestly, what comes up when I consider the question, 'Why am I transgender?' In my better moments this: I am trans so that I might come back to life, so that I might finally, finally speak my voice in this world and live!

To repeat, it is all so very curious to me.

I don't understand any of it.   

Yes, we cope with what we may not understand or feel able to manage out loud till it is intolerable.  I thought I would die with my secret and such resignation isn't quality living, as you point out.  I applaud your honesty and humility and it feels an honor to have you and others share their truths here.

Quote from: Tanya W on January 11, 2014, 04:51:42 PM
I really don't know why I - or anyone else - is transgender. I know there are an abundance of theories on this subject and a great many opinions/perspectives, but nothing really gains traction for me. I just don't know.

This does not, however, stop me from asking this question. 'Why am I trans?'

One thing that consistently arises in considering this matter is how curiously congruent being transgender is with the rest of my life, with one of the central challenges I seem to face. More specifically, I have a really hard time speaking honestly about my experience with others. Really hard. Most of my life I have stayed very quiet and withdrawn about what's going on for me.

For a long while this was tolerable. Not nice, mind you, but tolerable. And then it became something else. Then it became intolerable and I started to feel like I was actually dying. It was like I was drying up and shriveling my way out of this world.

Perhaps five years ago, in utter desperation, I started asking, 'What the heck?!?' I started looking at what was going on and discovered I was holding secrets from (both myself and) the world. I was an addict. I had a crazy mother. I had been abused. And, finally, I am transgender.

So for some strange reason, I have had a life of troubling experiences and deep, dark secrets. As if addiction were not enough, I had been abused! As if abused were not enough, I had a crazy parent. As if... Being trans was/is one big part of this mix. It has struck me curious that this theme is so strong in my life.

As if this were not enough, I am now finding that each of these deep, dark secrets wants out. They each have pressure to them, these secrets. And they want into the world! So I now find myself now feeling like, if I want to live, I have to speak honestly with others. I have to do what I have never done: I have to speak honestly about all of this with others.

I don't like this very much. It's really hard and I am not very good at it. But I am doing it and, as I do, I find myself very slowly, very gradually coming back to life, coming back into life. So these events/situations that have been so awful for me through all these years are now, oddly enough, providing the push/motivation/fuel I need to come into this life and this world in a way I have never, ever done before.

It's all so very curious to me.

So, honestly, what comes up when I consider the question, 'Why am I transgender?' In my better moments this: I am trans so that I might come back to life, so that I might finally, finally speak my voice in this world and live!

To repeat, it is all so very curious to me.

I don't understand any of it.   

Kia Ora Tanya,

Thank you for your honesty...."It's better out than in "

Metta Zenda :)

I don't know the specifics of why I'm trans but I think its the universe's way of protecting me. If I didn't transition, I'd likely end up dying in a rage ball hurtling through Vancouver traffic at horrendous speeds.  :P

Thanks both Tessa James and Anatta for your acknowledgement, support, and encouragement. As you might suspect, Susan's is playing a pretty big role in the process I describe. It is very often in these forums that I roll up my sleeves and say to myself, 'Right, if I can't practice being honest here... So let's take a risk and give it a go!'

Curious thing, this life! 

Quote from: Anatta on February 21, 2013, 10:16:42 PM
Kia Ora,

Just out of interest, why do you 'think' you are transgender?

I'll go with  A biological blunder... but my question is Do I realy need to fix anything?

Biology is complex and ever changing.  There is no normal human, but billions of variant (and mostly compatible) beings caught in the cycle of evolution.  I am a result of incalculable occurances and factors.  I just am.

Time for breakfast.