Susan's Place Transgender Resources

And no matter what you say it escalates the confrontation...
even when you are trying to make peace it is like throwing gas on a fire!!!!!!

ARRRGGHHHHH!!!!!

I hear you on that one.
When my ex tried to start a confrontation the other day I simply said "I can't deal with this right now so i'll just get my stuff & go", at that she blew her stack!

If someones determined to argue then why waste your breath?

Last time I got between a couple of guys at my apt.s who were getting feisty with each other I got bruised up a bit  :-\  They calmed down but I'll probably think twice before doing that again

Now one of them keeps giving me goo goo eyes whenever he sees me  ::)

Quote from: V M on February 25, 2013, 12:33:10 AM
Last time I got between a couple of guys at my apt.s who were getting feisty with each other I got bruised up a bit  :-\  They calmed down but I'll probably think twice before doing that again

If it's 2 people getting feisty i'm reluctant to get involved but if someones out numbered then I have to dive in, I just can't stand by & do nothing, I suspect is due to schoolyard bullying, I was the out numbered person & the rare few times anyone came to my aid it was either one particular friend if he saw it happening (thank you Andy) or one of the girls in my year, the boys would just egg the aggressors on

Been there!

What I learned in years of customer service work, was that no one NO ONE can resist being understood and their feelings/experience/expressions reflected respectfully. Sometimes the only thing you can do to defuse the situation is to put on your emotional tinfoil hat, and reflect:
"You seem very angry about that. If I understand what you are saying..."
"I can see how you would feel that way. You seem to be upset that..."
"Anyone might feel the same if they were in your shoes."
"I don't know if there is anything I can do to make it better, but..."
"Well it looks like there are two choices here. If you could tell me which you prefer..."
"I'm so sorry that you had to go through that..."
"From what you've told me, the problem is...."
"I will need to look into this/think about this/ask somebody/run screaming; would it be all right if I call you tomorrow when I know more...  What would be the best time for you?"

Of course, that's customer service. I got all the hard cases, because I could talk ANYONE down. Its just business. Their problem isn't my problem, but my profession is to try to help them find a satisfactory resolution to their problem. So let's begin...

But in personal life, sometimes you are being abused. You always have the right to extricate yourself (FLEE) from an abusive situation, no excuses needed.

Oh, and sometimes, the person is just in need of a scapegoat, and you are the goat. When that happens, I will sometimes recognize what is going on, and just say "baaaaaaahhhhh" and start chewing on the furniture. It saves time arguing.

Quote from: MadelineB on February 25, 2013, 12:54:23 AM

Oh, and sometimes, the person is just in need of a scapegoat, and you are the goat. When that happens, I will sometimes recognize what is going on, and just say "baaaaaaahhhhh" and start chewing on the furniture. It saves time arguing.

Do you just chew furniture or do you diversify & eat tin cans as well? You've got to maintain a healthy balance you know

Quote from: Jayne on February 25, 2013, 01:03:04 AM
Do you just chew furniture or do you diversify & eat tin cans as well? You've got to maintain a healthy balance you know

Well without a period, I don't really need the iron. But I do what I can to make things comma!