Community Conversation => Transitioning => Topic started by: Michelle S. on February 26, 2013, 07:32:13 AM Return to Full Version
Title: College and transitioning?
Post by: Michelle S. on February 26, 2013, 07:32:13 AM
Post by: Michelle S. on February 26, 2013, 07:32:13 AM
Hello everyone!
So, I'm nearing the part of my transition where I want to go full-time at work and school but I'm incredibly nervous. I'm terrified that people will be super judgmental. I'm 24 and highschool, which was a traumatizing experience, still feels like last week. To this day, whenever I see groups of kids my age and younger I start to panic. I like automatically connect my past experiences with my current experience. So, my questions are:
Have any of you transitioned in college (large college is a bonus, I go to UCF...)? How did it go? Did you ever get panicked? If so, what did you do? Did you find that the professors were understanding and accommodating?
Please, feel free to include any other opinions or information.
The more the better!
Thanks,
Michelle
So, I'm nearing the part of my transition where I want to go full-time at work and school but I'm incredibly nervous. I'm terrified that people will be super judgmental. I'm 24 and highschool, which was a traumatizing experience, still feels like last week. To this day, whenever I see groups of kids my age and younger I start to panic. I like automatically connect my past experiences with my current experience. So, my questions are:
Have any of you transitioned in college (large college is a bonus, I go to UCF...)? How did it go? Did you ever get panicked? If so, what did you do? Did you find that the professors were understanding and accommodating?
Please, feel free to include any other opinions or information.
The more the better!
Thanks,
Michelle
Title: Re: College and transitioning?
Post by: Amy Fox on February 27, 2013, 06:35:37 PM
Post by: Amy Fox on February 27, 2013, 06:35:37 PM
Heya
i am currently in my second year of university im 20 and in the uk and i literally started transitioning 2 weeks ago i've found that pretty much all my friends have been super accepting of me and ive even made o few more for being so 'brave'.
I know in the uk prety much every university has an LGBT society which you could go to for support if you have them, we also have an independent student equality and welfare office who we can go to for free counseling and if we have any issues it may be worth researching to see if your college has anything similar should you require the support.
on the whole i have found my lecturers the same as ever there have been no comments made even though i know the opinions of some of the staff to LGBT people aren't always positive but as of yet there has been no issues for me, i know that the social stigma of being trans was one of the main reasons i had to think about whether i wanted to or not for well over a year the only issue i have actually had since i started presenting myself as a girl like a year and a half ago was that at work i'm not allowed to wear the female uniform until my gender is officially changed which could take some time but im planning to speak to people higher up in the company to try and get that sorted for me.
But all in all i feel so much happier in myself and my head just feels so clear and it just makes me regret that i didn't start sooner but there you go
i wish you the best of luck
Amy
<3
i am currently in my second year of university im 20 and in the uk and i literally started transitioning 2 weeks ago i've found that pretty much all my friends have been super accepting of me and ive even made o few more for being so 'brave'.
I know in the uk prety much every university has an LGBT society which you could go to for support if you have them, we also have an independent student equality and welfare office who we can go to for free counseling and if we have any issues it may be worth researching to see if your college has anything similar should you require the support.
on the whole i have found my lecturers the same as ever there have been no comments made even though i know the opinions of some of the staff to LGBT people aren't always positive but as of yet there has been no issues for me, i know that the social stigma of being trans was one of the main reasons i had to think about whether i wanted to or not for well over a year the only issue i have actually had since i started presenting myself as a girl like a year and a half ago was that at work i'm not allowed to wear the female uniform until my gender is officially changed which could take some time but im planning to speak to people higher up in the company to try and get that sorted for me.
But all in all i feel so much happier in myself and my head just feels so clear and it just makes me regret that i didn't start sooner but there you go
i wish you the best of luck
Amy
<3
Title: Re: College and transitioning?
Post by: Misato on February 27, 2013, 07:56:28 PM
Post by: Misato on February 27, 2013, 07:56:28 PM
I began my RLE a year ago while in Graduate School. There were no problems. Professors even changed what name they called me without me telling them what to do. It was cool!
Hope you also have a positive experience and have fun!
Hope you also have a positive experience and have fun!
Title: Re: College and transitioning?
Post by: secondo on February 28, 2013, 07:49:06 PM
Post by: secondo on February 28, 2013, 07:49:06 PM
(oh my gosh sorry for the long post!!!! i got a little excited x.x)
what counts as a large school? im in nyc and i think my school has like 10k students or so.
i was INCREDIBLY anxious, and the decision to transition was kind of thrown on me by my counselor and didn't even come until 3 days before the semester started!! yikes!!! i knew i would regret not doing it, though. i couldn't take another semester of being a girl, so i just took some deep breaths and plunged in. luckily, though, all went well!! the professors and students were all great. the ones who knew me before quickly readjusted, one or two had questions that i addressed, and that was that. the new people i met don't seem to question my being a guy. and keep in mind i can't pass to save my life. i have had very few issues, more like little hiccups really.
to sum it up, it's a scary thought no doubt. but for me, it's been so worth it. i would definitely do it over again. and i know i would've regretted not coming out!!
if you want advice, the main things i think you should consider are this:
- know how liberal/queer friendly your school is, because that's definitely a big thing. you can get a good idea of how people will react and know what to expect and how to prepare.
- have some support!! susans is great, but maybe you could see your school's counselling center/student life/lgbt group/an ally safe space ??? someone who you know is there for support. it's good to fall back on if things get a little sticky. maybe even come out to a few friends or a prof you trust.
- email your professors about this, as opposed to telling them the day of. preferably give them the weekend in case they need time to see it and process it. you don't want to walk in as michelle and have them still call you something else!!! it also helped me with the anxiety to email. i didnt have to tell them face-to-face, and i could prepare what i wanted to say much better. again, it just seems a lot cleaner if they come in knowing from the first moment how to address you (especially when starting a new semester/job).
again, depending on the lgbt population in your area/school, your results might be different. i didnt tell them i was trans, and i didn't really feel i had to, but if you feel safer doing so, i'd go for it. i basically told my professors my new name and pronouns and told them they're welcome to ask questions. everyone replied with "ok tim, see you monday!" i wouldn't make it this huge formal thing, but again, do what you feel works best for your situation. as long as you keep it clear and to the point, and encourage them to feel free to ask questions.
- i know this is corny but confidence is SO important!! i don't take any garbage from anyone now. i KNOW who i am, and i know that there's nothing wrong with being me. i don't explain myself to everyone i meet because i really dont have to (and tbh, im not even sure all of my classmates know i'm FTM) and it's really liberating to just be myself without fearing judgement. the judgement might come, but hey, that's not my problem, right? im not going to let someone else tell me who to be, and you shouldn't either!
definitely prepare for the worst, just because it makes you stronger and you'll be able to defend yourself against any crap anybody might throw at you. that's basically why i handled coming out the way i did. i was just being me. so you just be you.
try not to sweat it too much & best of luck!!!
tim
what counts as a large school? im in nyc and i think my school has like 10k students or so.
i was INCREDIBLY anxious, and the decision to transition was kind of thrown on me by my counselor and didn't even come until 3 days before the semester started!! yikes!!! i knew i would regret not doing it, though. i couldn't take another semester of being a girl, so i just took some deep breaths and plunged in. luckily, though, all went well!! the professors and students were all great. the ones who knew me before quickly readjusted, one or two had questions that i addressed, and that was that. the new people i met don't seem to question my being a guy. and keep in mind i can't pass to save my life. i have had very few issues, more like little hiccups really.
to sum it up, it's a scary thought no doubt. but for me, it's been so worth it. i would definitely do it over again. and i know i would've regretted not coming out!!
if you want advice, the main things i think you should consider are this:
- know how liberal/queer friendly your school is, because that's definitely a big thing. you can get a good idea of how people will react and know what to expect and how to prepare.
- have some support!! susans is great, but maybe you could see your school's counselling center/student life/lgbt group/an ally safe space ??? someone who you know is there for support. it's good to fall back on if things get a little sticky. maybe even come out to a few friends or a prof you trust.
- email your professors about this, as opposed to telling them the day of. preferably give them the weekend in case they need time to see it and process it. you don't want to walk in as michelle and have them still call you something else!!! it also helped me with the anxiety to email. i didnt have to tell them face-to-face, and i could prepare what i wanted to say much better. again, it just seems a lot cleaner if they come in knowing from the first moment how to address you (especially when starting a new semester/job).
again, depending on the lgbt population in your area/school, your results might be different. i didnt tell them i was trans, and i didn't really feel i had to, but if you feel safer doing so, i'd go for it. i basically told my professors my new name and pronouns and told them they're welcome to ask questions. everyone replied with "ok tim, see you monday!" i wouldn't make it this huge formal thing, but again, do what you feel works best for your situation. as long as you keep it clear and to the point, and encourage them to feel free to ask questions.
- i know this is corny but confidence is SO important!! i don't take any garbage from anyone now. i KNOW who i am, and i know that there's nothing wrong with being me. i don't explain myself to everyone i meet because i really dont have to (and tbh, im not even sure all of my classmates know i'm FTM) and it's really liberating to just be myself without fearing judgement. the judgement might come, but hey, that's not my problem, right? im not going to let someone else tell me who to be, and you shouldn't either!
definitely prepare for the worst, just because it makes you stronger and you'll be able to defend yourself against any crap anybody might throw at you. that's basically why i handled coming out the way i did. i was just being me. so you just be you.
try not to sweat it too much & best of luck!!!
tim