Susan's Place Transgender Resources

So after I finally got rid of all the loose ends I left with other girls in my romantic life, my really close girlfriend said something and then realized she couldn't take it back then. She admitted to liking me and some how she liked me as both "male" and "female". She knows about my transition from the time I met her and so I was surprised she had developed these feelings for me. Before that I didn't have any feelings for her I thought, but when she told me, I quickly realized that I actually did. Can this possibly end well at all? I don't know if anything will even come of this, but something is developing that is more than a friendship and it scares me that I could just lose her in the end and she means a lot to me as a person. So, I understand people have wives that find out later and they work it out, but I have never dated her, we were "just friends", if we were to start a relationship, does this have any chance of working?

Female sexuality is much more fluid than male sexuality (backed by research).  my straight spouse is sliding to the bi/lesbian with relative ease after not one instance of liking a girl.  She even admitted to being intrigued by and attracted to another woman the other day.  So yes, it's possible.

Can a straight girl and trans girl work in a romantic sexual relationship?
No, not for long. Eventually the trans girl will transition to the point where the straight girl sees "woman" and her attraction goes away.
Can a bi-curious girl, who has never had a romantic sexual relationship with a woman, and a trans girl work...?
Yes, almost every bisexual woman was once a bi-curious woman, who had one or more "trial" relationships with women before she was certain she was bi. So it is quite possible that a trans woman can be the first woman a bi-curious woman has fallen in love with, and the first she has slept with.

Outside the traditional world of exclusive monagamous romance leading to exclusive monogamous marriage, there is a whole world of ethical sex-positive relationship behavior to explore.

One kind of relationship in that world is "friends with benefits". When it is important to you both to preserve your friendship, more than it is to pursue becoming each other's one and only for ever and ever, you can enter into a FWB relationship, which is more likely to survive life changes and attraction changes than a traditional romance can, because the friendship is always predominant and the WB part can be mutually dropped when it doesn't work out.

anything can work. I know gay people in straight relationships that work, it's just not necessarily sexual. if a person makes ya happy stick by em. simple as that.

Quote from: tomthom on February 27, 2013, 09:31:23 AM
anything can work. I know gay people in straight relationships that work, it's just not necessarily sexual. if a person makes ya happy stick by em. simple as that.

But how many relationships can really sustain with no sexual compatibility? I feel like it would be a huge strain on the relationship unless neither person had any sexual desires.

oh, they still have sex. the gay guy (she's straight) just brings in other guys t play sometimes. it takes an open mind, but it's doable. I meant their relationship is not sexual as in that it is not the main driving force. it never should be.

Quote from: tomthom on February 27, 2013, 09:37:37 AM
oh, they still have sex. the gay guy (she's straight) just brings in other guys t play sometimes. it takes an open mind, but it's doable. I meant their relationship is not sexual as in that it is not the main driving force. it never should be.

That's by no means a relationship between a straight girl and a trans girl only, you've added other parties into the mix and that's not something I would be interested in. Maybe that would work for other people, but I don't believe anything other than a monogamous relationship can truly work. That's besides the point though, and I have no issue with others having poly relationships, it's just not something I would be okay with nor would she I'm 99% sure.

and that is totally totally fine. But yeah, give it a shot. what's the worst that could happen?

Quote from: tomthom on February 27, 2013, 09:50:59 AM
and that is totally totally fine. But yeah, give it a shot. what's the worst that could happen?

I lose someone really important to me.

I've never lost anyone in a "failed" relationship. I can't tell if I'm exceptionally lucky or just persistent at keeping friendships afloat. That said I'm probably not the best person for this sort of advice, but I do wish you clarity as well as luck.

Quote from: tomthom on February 27, 2013, 09:55:52 AM
I've never lost anyone in a "failed" relationship. I can't tell if I'm exceptionally lucky or just persistent at keeping friendships afloat. That said I'm probably not the best person for this sort of advice, but I do wish you clarity as well as luck.

You're exceptionally lucky^

But thank you :)

Yes it can work just like some MtF and cis female marriages work. I'm still quite happily married and speak from experience. The young woman may well have bisexual proclivities and is attracted to you. You needn't ask her if that's the case either, it may just be something she is discovering for herself. BTW - not all women require male on female penetration to enjoy a sexual relationship!

Quote from: ashley_thomas on February 27, 2013, 07:29:28 AM
Female sexuality is much more fluid than male sexuality (backed by research).

I don't know about this. Most people who have been adamant to me that sexuality is fixed have been straight women more than anybody else. Course that doesn't mean anything about an individual woman.

But when you think about it, these straight women had a point. I tend to think people really into men sexually are less likely to be satisfied by a woman long term than the other way around. There's no substitute for a certain male organ (I'm not just talking penetration either; probably the most satisfying act with the male organ is oral sex), while everybody has holes.

I dunno admin, I've heard YMMV on oral :P

Quote from: Not-so Fat Admin on February 27, 2013, 10:09:17 AM
I don't know about this. Most people who have been adamant to me that sexuality is fixed have been straight women more than anybody else. Course that doesn't mean anything about an individual woman.

But when you think about it, these straight women had a point. I tend to think people really into men sexually are less likely to be satisfied by a woman long term than the other way around. There's no substitute for a certain male organ (I'm not just talking penetration either; probably the most satisfying act with the male organ is oral sex), while everybody has holes.

C'mon Nero, we all know that cis women say all kind of stuff while they are really thinking something 180 degrees out. I would suggest that our OP give it a chance and see what floats. BTW - Some women wouldn't ever consider oral as being something more for the dogs and cats. Not my saying, but I've heard it said more than once kinda with an Ewwww to accentuate the response.

Quote from: Shantel on February 27, 2013, 10:30:04 AM

Quote from: Not-so Fat Admin on February 27, 2013, 10:09:17 AM
I don't know about this. Most people who have been adamant to me that sexuality is fixed have been straight women more than anybody else. Course that doesn't mean anything about an individual woman.

But when you think about it, these straight women had a point. I tend to think people really into men sexually are less likely to be satisfied by a woman long term than the other way around. There's no substitute for a certain male organ (I'm not just talking penetration either; probably the most satisfying act with the male organ is oral sex), while everybody has holes.

C'mon Nero, we all know that cis women say all kind of stuff while they are really thinking something 180 degrees out. I would suggest that our OP give it a chance and see what floats. BTW - Some women wouldn't ever consider oral as being something more for the dogs and cats. Not my saying, but I've heard it said more than once kinda with an Ewwww to accentuate the response.

Oh I was just commenting on the idea that women's sexuality is supposedly more fluid. Some straight women (on here and otherwise) have spoken pretty heavily against that idea. Like I said, that means nothing about any individual woman's preferences.

But yeah, I do believe people really into sex with men (either straight women or gay men) are less likely to be sexually satisfied with a woman long term than the other way around. Especially if they love oral sex with men. To put it more bluntly, I have a terrible sore throat right now and the cure can't be found in any woman's medicine cabinet.  :P
And yes, I'm bi. How much more someone exclusively into men?

This is nothing to do with the OP, as clearly that 'straight' woman is interested in her.