Community Conversation => Transsexual talk => Female to male transsexual talk (FTM) => Topic started by: culticexecution on March 08, 2013, 12:15:26 PM Return to Full Version
Title: Coming out at work?
Post by: culticexecution on March 08, 2013, 12:15:26 PM
Post by: culticexecution on March 08, 2013, 12:15:26 PM
So, I work for Walmart as a cashier. I seem to pass with customers, but unfortunately my coworkers know that I am biologically born a female and dont know about me being trans. I feel very uncomfortable when they use female pronouns. Especially when they do it in front of a customer. Customers seem to get confused. I've been on t for about 4 months now and my voice has changed, but it is still not that deep yet. Though I seem to pass more. Still haven't grown in any facial hair yet, so my coworkers dont see anything wrong with referring to me as female. The thing is I don't know how to come out to them and whether or not they would comply. I haven't changed the f to an m yet on my ID nor changed my name. What should I do?
Edited for profanity
Edited for profanity
Title: Re: Coming out at work?
Post by: Fabian1994 on March 08, 2013, 05:45:59 PM
Post by: Fabian1994 on March 08, 2013, 05:45:59 PM
I think you should come out to your coworkers as early as possible, because the changes caused by T will become more obvious over time (so in the end you have to tell them anyway), and when the facial hair growth starts kicking in and your voice is getting deeper, they are already used to call you by your real name. Is there a coworker you can trust or of whom you think he or she is a tolerant and open-minded person? You could talk to that one person in private first, so telling the others gets easier because you know there is already someone supporting you.
Title: Re: Coming out at work?
Post by: Jamie D on March 08, 2013, 06:58:00 PM
Post by: Jamie D on March 08, 2013, 06:58:00 PM
Quote from: culticexecution on March 08, 2013, 12:15:26 PM
So, I work for Walmart as a cashier. I seem to pass with customers, but unfortunately my coworkers know that I am biologically born a female and dont know about me being trans. I feel very uncomfortable when they use female pronouns. Especially when they do it in front of a customer. Customers seem to get confused. I've been on t for about 4 months now and my voice has changed, but it is still not that deep yet. Though I seem to pass more. Still haven't grown in any facial hair yet, so my coworkers dont see anything wrong with referring to me as female. The thing is I don't know how to come out to them and whether or not they would comply. I haven't changed the f to an m yet on my ID nor changed my name. What should I do?
Change you gender marker, change you legal name, and speak with your manager.
Title: Re: Coming out at work?
Post by: culticexecution on March 09, 2013, 08:30:24 AM
Post by: culticexecution on March 09, 2013, 08:30:24 AM
You make it sound so easy. So even if I haven't changed it I can't tell then that I prefer male pronouns or what?
Title: Re: Coming out at work?
Post by: AdamMLP on March 09, 2013, 08:35:40 AM
Post by: AdamMLP on March 09, 2013, 08:35:40 AM
You can ask people to use masculine pronouns and a male name before its legally changed, you just can't put them on legal documents. I agree with the others, it's better to come out before they start wondering why you're getting hairy and your voice is dropping.
Title: Re: Coming out at work?
Post by: wheat thins are delicious on March 09, 2013, 09:42:56 AM
Post by: wheat thins are delicious on March 09, 2013, 09:42:56 AM
I suggest coming out now. Wal-Mart's policies protect gender identity/gender expression, if your manager is not willing to work with you go to HR, if that doesn't work don't be afraid to go up the chain of command. I've been working at Wal-Mart for four years. I came out and started working as male a little over two years ago. You can PM me if you have any questions.
Title: Re: Coming out at work?
Post by: aleon515 on March 09, 2013, 03:33:16 PM
Post by: aleon515 on March 09, 2013, 03:33:16 PM
I am not exactly out, but everyone calls me a gender neutral name. I don't know how I'd stand it if they didn't. I just said I want to be called xx. I even use this at the bank or anywhere where people have to resay my name. I have not legally changed it yet.
The same principle if you wanted to be called a masculine name, just insist people call you this.
--Jay
The same principle if you wanted to be called a masculine name, just insist people call you this.
--Jay
Title: Re: Coming out at work?
Post by: Keaira on March 09, 2013, 04:32:57 PM
Post by: Keaira on March 09, 2013, 04:32:57 PM
I've had to deal with workplace discrimination ever since I came out. if or when you come out to your co-workers, be prepared. you never know who will support you and who won't.
In fact, on my desk in front of me are a second set of charges against Valeo for me to sign because my investigator believes it was retaliatory for the first set I filed. Should you feel like you are being harassed at work, you may wish to call the EEOC.
Also, this may be of help. there is a PDF file about your rights in the workplace.
http://transequality.org/Resources/index.html (http://transequality.org/Resources/index.html)
Anyway, Good Luck. ^_^
In fact, on my desk in front of me are a second set of charges against Valeo for me to sign because my investigator believes it was retaliatory for the first set I filed. Should you feel like you are being harassed at work, you may wish to call the EEOC.
Also, this may be of help. there is a PDF file about your rights in the workplace.
http://transequality.org/Resources/index.html (http://transequality.org/Resources/index.html)
Anyway, Good Luck. ^_^