Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Have any of you try to go to the barber shop and ask one of the men to give you a hair cut? Am interested in hearing your experiance. Also did you go pre-transition or not?

Just to share with you guys (ftm) I went to the beauty salon and muster up all my courage to go for the first time. It was a very thrilling experiance for me. The hairdresser was very courtious and kind and did not discriminate against me because I appear as male. Although something told me that if it would have been another place there could have been some trouble. This trip almost remind me of going to Macy for the first time to buy women clothing. During the whole time that I was in the beauty salon I was extremely nervous and scared. It still surprise me how they did not even blink an eye when I came in. Everything went entirely normal as if there was nothing weird going on. That certainly was a wonderful experiance having them style my hair.

I haven't but one of my cis male friends (who thinks I'm just an uber butch lesbian) tried to get me to go with him when we were both talking about needing a haircut.  He gave me the impression that it wouldn't be a problem at all.

Trans men don't seem to suffer the same discrimination in that respect as often as our female counterparts, mostly due to it being more acceptable to be a butch female than it is to be an effeminate male and for women to wear men's clothes.  I've lived in men's clothes for almost all of my life, ignoring the couple of months I tried to fit in with the girls and the clothes which grandparents picked out for me and I had to wear because I had nothing else, and no one has said anything to me in spite.

It does make me feel kind of bad that I had such a great time in the beauty salon. The lady that did my hair had a facial expression that said that she was so totally cool with me being there. For the first time I felt like I belong and did not feel like an outcast. That day I was wearing some heels, a skirt, a blouse, earrings, carried a purse, and all of this while still in male mode. I was glad that my cis female friends convince me to go.

Quite honestly, (and this is my belief) I think that Mtf can be as free as you guys if we do not let the stares bother us. I mean you must have someone staring at you, AlexanderC, thinking that you should not be wearing men clothes. I do not feel that the discrimination is more heighten for us mtf. It is just because you guys know the trick which is not to let others get into your head. Ignore and live. If only some mtf can follow what some of you ftm do and there would be no problem.

I hate going to salon's , they always do my hair feminine or try to make it look some what girly even when i ask them what kind i want, they always seem to do what they WANT or think will look good on me.

Now it is very different going to a barber shop. My experiences :

White barber shop: usually old men with basic hair styles. They dont really know how to do modern hair styles cause most of their clients are old men or people who want a not to complex hair cut. I did try to get my hair done with a few white barbers before...always didnt look right. They also rarely use clippers and almost always use just scissors and a comb.

Black barbershop: Totally different experience. They use clippers, razors, and TAKE THEIR SWEET TIME!! It usually takes me an hour just to get a fade ( or military cut ) but they also shave my face, clean up the sides of my eye brows and cut my edges all included !!! So worth the $20 i spend. Its funny cause at a black barber i pass as a dude pre T !! I only go to a black barbershops now.

The difference between all three is like night and day. Now i have been to a white barber who was young and in his 30, but he had to write on his rent license and promise the salon up the street that he wouldn't cut any women's hair. To bad because he was just has good as the black barber that i go to now and alot closer to. He did cut my hair that one time and told me that the salon up the street made him promise not to cut any women's hair but he apologized and wished he didn't have to send me away. He cut my hair so nice !!!

I would try different salons, barber shops and see what best works for you or what feels most comfortable to you. I had to go to a dozen before i found the right place i go to now :) Good luck and have fun!! Dont worry if a shop didn't cut your hair the way you wanted it to look. It always grows back and you have other shops or salons to try.

I've only been to a barbershop once and I wrote about it last month. Here's the thread: https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,135863.msg1087951.html#msg1087951 (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,135863.msg1087951.html#msg1087951)

TL;DR: everything seemed to be going very well and the barber did an excellent job. But then when the time came to pay, he addressed me as 'madam' and tried to charge me the women's price. :(

Quote from: Landen Scott on March 13, 2013, 08:09:21 PM
White barber shop: usually old men with basic hair styles.

Black barbershop: Totally different experience.

I've never heard of this 'white barber shop' / 'black barber shop' thing. Is this an American custom? I tried to look it up but the results weren't clear. Does it mean what I think it means (i.e. shops that specialise in Caucasian hair or African hair)?

Quote from: FTMDiaries on March 14, 2013, 06:59:32 AM
I've only been to a barbershop once and I wrote about it last month. Here's the thread: https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,135863.msg1087951.html#msg1087951 (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,135863.msg1087951.html#msg1087951)

TL;DR: everything seemed to be going very well and the barber did an excellent job. But then when the time came to pay, he addressed me as 'madam' and tried to charge me the women's price. :(
I've never heard of this 'white barber shop' / 'black barber shop' thing. Is this an American custom? I tried to look it up but the results weren't clear. Does it mean what I think it means (i.e. shops that specialise in Caucasian hair or African hair)?

yes pretty much they specialize  in certain hair types but can cut both if need be. That was just my opinion of have experiences going to both. I prefer a black barber shop to cut my hair.

Quote from: Landen Scott on March 14, 2013, 07:20:04 AM
yes pretty much they specialize  in certain hair types but can cut both if need be. That was just my opinion of have experiences going to both. I prefer a black barber shop to cut my hair.

I see - thanks for the explanation! :)

Whilst such places do exist in the UK, they're not as explicit as that. Some barbers will refuse to do African hair because they're not trained in how to do it properly, and there are some barbers in certain regions who do specialise in African hair. But I guess we're just a bit more subtle about it on this side of the pond.

I haven't gone to a barber. I actually have such a good experience with the stylist that I see that I won't stop until she moves. I have told her I am trans and she is totally cool with it. She actually cuts many men's hair. But I understand it is a bit different experience.
I think the license would enable someone to cut men and women's styles, I think the "women's hair" "men's hair" thing -- well I'm sure there are differences, just not enough to matter that much.

BTW, my stylist said that she considers herself an artist, and that might be why they like to do what they think would look good. But she is very intune to me wanting to look masculine and so on.

As for black hair, I think if you graduated recently people should be able to do all sorts of hair. OTOH, there might be a level of comfort?

A different rate for woman for the same cut? Now if it were a different cut I might understand. When I wore more of a female cut it took me longer to get my hair cut. OTOH there are guys who wear the identical cuts. I think if they want to differentiate it should be "clipper cuts" versus "scissors cuts", with scissors cuts being more because they do take longer. That is something other than discrimination. Otherwise it's all it is.

It is VERY easy for ftms to dress as males because in our society (perhaps not in parts of the world) this is accepted. A lot of women's styles are close anyway, and so many women dress in male's clothing, I doubt it is even considered cross dressing. There is a negative to that in that in our society it means nothing. So I am "ma'am" to many people even though I present totally male.

As for mtfs being as free, well I don't know that I agree, seeing here how hard it is for some folks (also from our support group-- I go to a mixed one). OTOH, my girl friend does not care what anybody thinks and does her own thing. I don't think she completely passes but by the force of her personality people accept her, for the most part. Obviously dressing in woman's clothes means a bit more than the reverse.


--Jay

Barber all the way. I started going to them pre-T and never had an issue. The only thing that's a pain is a lot of them only take cash. But I don't like going to salons anyway.

Quote from: FTMDiaries on March 14, 2013, 10:17:34 AM
I see - thanks for the explanation! :)

Whilst such places do exist in the UK, they're not as explicit as that. Some barbers will refuse to do African hair because they're not trained in how to do it properly, and there are some barbers in certain regions who do specialise in African hair. But I guess we're just a bit more subtle about it on this side of the pond.

yeah real subtle lol.

I go to a salon that know me and have helped create my look from scratch, they are totally aware I'm a trans woman and are fantastic. 

I was telling the stylist as he cut two hairs or was it three?, you realise when I was trying to be a guy the barber used a #3 razor ran it over my head ten times and charged me $20 and there was a floor full of hair. You give me a glass of wine, cut five hairs, and charge me $200 what's the deal?

I'm an artist honey and I deal with beauty, he is a shearer who deals with fleeces.


Ah I just melted. (Hee Hee)

C

Quote from: chuck on March 15, 2013, 02:53:03 AM
yeah real subtle lol.

Yeah, I guess in these parts you have to actually walk in through the front door and talk to someone before you realise they're going to refuse you service. I saw this happen when I went to the barber last month. There might as well have been a "WHITES ONLY / NET BLANKES" sign above the door - if it weren't for the fact that all the barbers were of Middle-Eastern origin.  ::)

You'd think in this day & age that there should be a requirement that all barbers & hairdressers must be trained in all kinds of human hair. It should be part of the licensing requirements when you open a salon.

Darrin Scott, I am with you, started going to a barber in a college town when I was still pre-t.  I went in and when I got in the chair he asked what kind of cut I wanted, told him fairly short just enough to comb and he went to work and that is what I got.  We talked about the weather and sports and I made several comments.  I don't think he had any idea I was trans.

This is jsut my experience and what a female friend told me long ago. I try to find a male who just happens to be gay, or who appears to be to cut my hair. They're just simply the best in my opinion. This friend told me that when males with long hair go into a salon with women, they tend to be jelous if the guy has better hair than they do and don't seem to do the best that they can do. I don't present in public as female and this has happened to me one time. Barbershops just pretty much specialize in shorter haircuts and that really ain't my style. Being a part time musician, I have to have long hair, just feels better banging out dirty riffs and banging my head to the beat. I found a guy that just happens to be gay that gives me the perfect levels of scruffy hard core rocker and and a style that I can fix to look feminine or just plain wash and go, with gel and frizz serum of course.

One option would be if you a FTM would be just buy some clippers since buzzed and bald seems to be the mens style nowdays, or learn how to cut a fade yourself.

Quote from: Cindy James on March 15, 2013, 03:57:36 AM
I go to a salon that know me and have helped create my look from scratch, they are totally aware I'm a trans woman and are fantastic. 

I was telling the stylist as he cut two hairs or was it three?, you realise when I was trying to be a guy the barber used a #3 razor ran it over my head ten times and charged me $20 and there was a floor full of hair. You give me a glass of wine, cut five hairs, and charge me $200 what's the deal?

I'm an artist honey and I deal with beauty, he is a shearer who deals with fleeces.


Ah I just melted. (Hee Hee)

C

Well my boy hair and girl hair (and any hair in there) will cost me $15 US. I realize there is a difference between Aussie and US dollars but not $185 worth. My guy hair cuts take less time (I might have more hair on the floor). Mind you I never ever got anything fancy. I used to get the floppy sort of androgynous short style. But clipper cuts don't take that much time. OTOH, not all guys get clipper cuts either. I'm not sure if I buy the artist thing Cindy. OTOH, I am pretty sure that cosmetology school takes all sorts of folks and some of them are pretty different than average, so there may be something to this. She is way different than anyone else I know-- artist type different. Fleecing well, there seems to be some of that going on. I get a regular haircut, but the big money they charge seems to be for dying and that sort of thing.

I am pretty sure that nowadays you are required to learn all different hair and now to cut it, but there are many people who weren't trained recently. I am pretty sure that if you go into a SuperCuts, ewwww, they would know what to do, in as much as they know what to do with anyone, which they don't. OTOH, a lot of good people start at such places.


--Jay

I had a haircut in the smallest shop possible in a shopping centre (so small it had a curtain instead of a door), and I started described what I wanted, but my nan had made sure she called me her "granddaughter" while asking if they had a space. The woman said "like a standard man's cut?" as I was describing it, so I thought I would get charged the male rate, it was just a short back and sides. When I go to pay she tells me it will be £15 instead of £10. I couldn't understand it, she did less than she would for a man as she refused to square my sideburns bits off.

Barbers clearly sometimes charge for women/girls more. I was trying to suggest a way that it could be more equitable, but I don't think that's how they do it.

--Jay

I always go to a Salon, and have never been to a barber shop and never want to, maybe its just a gay thing

I havent had any trouble with them making my hair girly (pre-t) and I think it just has a bit more style then I would suspect a barbershop would.  And I would worry that I would be expected to act a certain way in a barbershop, and in a salon I can just act like myself. I feel like I would have to act super butch and know about sports and stuff at a barber shop.

I see men in the salon all the time as long as great clips counts as a "salon"

Quote from: Elijah on March 15, 2013, 08:49:10 PM
I always go to a Salon, and have never been to a barber shop and never want to, maybe its just a gay thing

I'm the same (but straight) but for me I'd just rather have a woman's hands on me. I especially like when the cute ones wear their shirts a little open and bend in front of ya.  :o

...I may be a perv, lol.

Quote from: Simon on March 15, 2013, 10:03:52 PM
I'm the same (but straight) but for me I'd just rather have a woman's hands on me. I especially like when the cute ones wear their shirts a little open and bend in front of ya.  :o

...I may be a perv, lol.

One time my hairdresser was a larger gay man, and his belly pressed against my neck.. not so great lol

These days I mostly go to the salon.  I have worn my hair long for different periods of time. I have found in New Mexico and Florida that there is not the fine line between barbershops and salons as their were in small towns in the Dakotas where I grew up.   Unfortunately I started my appearance transformation later in life and there is not much I can do with my natural hair.  I am balding on top in the middle and back of my head so the most I can do is grow it pony tail length and wear a pony tail and baseball cap most of the time.  I really can't hide where it is thinning and balding very well.   I am more of a plain Jane than a stylish Marlyn Monroe so the wig route at this time is not an option.   I am more comfortable looking like the plain rural small town woman that I am.

Quote from: Elijah on March 15, 2013, 08:49:10 PM
I always go to a Salon, and have never been to a barber shop and never want to, maybe its just a gay thing
I see men in the salon all the time as long as great clips counts as a "salon"

There are as many guys where I go as well. It's a unisex place I think. It's also a chain-- not sure if it is national or not.
Just like the people I have had cutting my hair. They have been pretty interesting folks and now I  have a person who totally knows I am trans so it is pretty good.

The person I go to is leaving in a year and then I might try a barber.

--Jay

I'm way too poor for salons/barbers, haha. I've been cutting my own hair for two or three years now. That way, if it sucks, I've got no one to blame but myself-- and it won't have been a waste of money! lol. I love my hair, but it isn't a big deal to me to just chop it all off... it has a tendency to grow in looking just fine. ;)

Quote from: democration on March 16, 2013, 02:41:59 AM
I'm way too poor for salons/barbers, haha. I've been cutting my own hair for two or three years now. That way, if it sucks, I've got no one to blame but myself-- and it won't have been a waste of money! lol. I love my hair, but it isn't a big deal to me to just chop it all off... it has a tendency to grow in looking just fine. ;)

Same here. I've never been to a barber, but whenever I go to a salon they end up giving me a slightly feminine haircut that I don't notice until later on when everyone starts calling me "ma'am" again. When I started to go flat broke this year, I just dug out my grandpa's old hairclippers and started doing it myself. At least I remember to cut all of it, unlike the girl I always seemed to get at the salon.

Funny thing but this place I actually get ma'amed much LESS than other places. Lots of young people who seem to do the gender bending more easily and may actually see me as genderqueer or something. Also I am on their computer as Jay, which is nice.

--Jay

The only sort of place I've ever been for a haircut is Greatclips and the like.  And they never could do my hair just right.  It's like they already have in mind what they want to see on me and I can only say "little shorter, please" so many times before I start to feel like it's annoying both of us.  Then I bought my own clippers and haven't been back ever since.  Problem solved.