Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Pretty much in the title.

You've gone through the transformation, you pass...But as a woman, people do not seem to find you attractive, at least the ones you meet. Despite efforts.
And let's assume no cash for FFS, at least in the near future, and by near I mean a good number of years.

How much would it affect you emotionally?

I've had 2 dates in 8 years!it would be nice to have a romance but the longer I'm without the less chance I think it will happen.I'm used to it and can't see me being involved romantically with anyone.I feel envious when I see couples sometimes

I have the same thing, envy with couples :S It's a tough thing that I still have not learned to deal with or settle into it.   :(

You are used to it, but are you happy? Do you see other factors that would make you happy without romance?

I am a woman no matter what, so I would just have to deal with it.

Given I am addicted to love and romance it would be very hard but I would deal with it.

TBH though I have not had that problem and there seriously are many people out there for everyone!  Don't give up on love unless its something you want to live without.  This is all a part of the human condition whatever the definition of that means to you.

I might not be happy, per se - but I would most certainly be happy with myself.

Then again, I was pretty much untouchable (in the Indian caste sense) as a guy, so ... it can only get better, right? :D

That would actually be my ideal scenario. The thought of being in a romantic relationship again genuinely sickens me.

Quote from: Cassandra Hyacinth on March 17, 2013, 12:31:10 PM
That would actually be my ideal scenario. The thought of being in a romantic relationship again genuinely sickens me.

It's ok if you don't care to elaborate, but I am highly curious why you feel this way. No details are necessary of course, just what kind of reasoning/personal experience led you to this scenario. Or have you simply never wanted one and/or are asexual?

Would I still be happy?

Yes.

Will I find myself in that scenario?

No.

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MaidofOrleans - How do you know you'd still be happy then, if you have never been through it?

I have been happy in the past too without it, but once the craving starts .... It wants to be satisfied. And if you've been lonely and know how the craving feels without being satisfied, that's when you know.

There's a lid for every pot, it's said. There's always pets for loves, but of course there's no romance in that...

I never got romantic attention as a guy, so it'd be status quo for me. If I had to, (and I was about to, when I was a guy) I'd go to one of those "cheap" massage places to  have human-on-human contact. Tip them well enough, you'll be touched. Nothing wrong with that.

But...to feel loved, and wanted...that cannot be bought (or rented...) I know with the older people, loneliness is chronic and severe. Some deal with it by volunteering, at senior centers, hospitals, churches, soup kitchens/food banks, etc. By helping others, one forgets for a time how lonely they are.

This is a band-aid, of course. At this time in my life, I'm well beyond needing a band-aid. I was a mangled wreck emotionally before transitioning, and like a person who was in a coma their whole life...I need to learn to "walk" again. So...would I be happy?

I genuinely don't know. Ask me again in 5 years when I've healed some.

far as I'm concerned on this topic, I haven't any kind of romantic thing in 2 years and I was married at least I was (we separated in November)... so romance would be noce however I can live without .. it wouldn't kill me

I'm just not worried about it. I've never had a problem with it before and I don't see a problem ahead.

as they say, confidence is key.

.

Quote from: Beth Andrea on March 17, 2013, 01:03:59 PM
I never got romantic attention as a guy, so it'd be status quo for me. If I had to, (and I was about to, when I was a guy) I'd go to one of those "cheap" massage places to  have human-on-human contact. Tip them well enough, you'll be touched. Nothing wrong with that.

But...to feel loved, and wanted...that cannot be bought (or rented...) I know with the older people, loneliness is chronic and severe. Some deal with it by volunteering, at senior centers, hospitals, churches, soup kitchens/food banks, etc. By helping others, one forgets for a time how lonely they are.

Too bad there isn't a BF bandaid :D

Oh, and this is strictly about romantic loneliness :) I don't understand how people can forget, being around other people, when other people who come in can have BFs etc. I supposed it can help only if you're happy for them. Unfortunately I myself get awful envy bangs that make it impossible to concentrate anything else anymore.

Quote from: Paige H on March 17, 2013, 12:58:04 PM
MaidofOrleans - How do you know you'd still be happy then, if you have never been through it?

Love and friendship are more important to me and I don't need a romantic partner to feel those things, that's what friends and family are for  :D plus I have enough hobbies to keep me happy and occupied for an eternity failing that. Not to mention I have like 0 sex drive so I can go without that forever if I wanted to.

but like I said, i'm confident I won't have to worry about it, I had guys hit on me pre-hormones.

Yes I think I would be much much happier than how I used to be even without romance. But it would not be the perfect life I dreamed of having. But love comes in all colors and shapes. Its not all about the looks. Its more than that. So there will be that person for each and everyone. at least that's what I believe.

But I have never been in that situation. So I really can't tell for sure.

I've come to accept being alone,it doesn't make me sad anymore it used to.I have enough interests and never enough time to do all I want.A romance would be nice if it happened but I just can't see it I'm not much of a drinker and don't really like bars and clubs.

i would be way more happy as a woman with no romantic attention then now but I'd be happier in a relationship. it's kind of a goal but not a non-negotiable one.

Quote from: big kim on March 17, 2013, 03:13:17 PM
I've come to accept being alone,it doesn't make me sad anymore it used to.I have enough interests and never enough time to do all I want.A romance would be nice if it happened but I just can't see it I'm not much of a drinker and don't really like bars and clubs.

bars and clubs aren't the only places to find romance.

I'd say they are the worst.

Quote from: Paige H on March 17, 2013, 12:33:29 PM
It's ok if you don't care to elaborate, but I am highly curious why you feel this way. No details are necessary of course, just what kind of reasoning/personal experience led you to this scenario. Or have you simply never wanted one and/or are asexual?

Definitely not asexual (though dysphoria means I wouldn't really be comfortable in a sexual relationship until I was on hormones at the very least, possibly not even until surgery, but that's a different story...)

The way I see it, in a relationship, subconsciously or otherwise, you do invest a bit of yourself into the other person. And unless you're a man in a relationship with a woman, you do end up being judged based on your relationships a hell of a lot.

Plus it'd get in the way of all the things I want to do, to be honest.

I would be very upset if I lose my current relationship. I don't really feel like ever having another one, and I don't crave any romantic attention from anyone else. But I do want to look pretty. Very much. I would like others to see me as pretty, and I guess that would generate a romantic reaction, but that's not my motivation.

I'm not sure. Although this is something I did not even think about pre transition I must say. No I would not be happy. I mean I so get alot of male attention now with date offers and even some girl attention for the same. I don't think I could live without it to well.

Yes I would be happy, at least I would be the true me! That is more important than romance.

I'm lucky though, my wife has no problem with me transitioning and will stay with me till death do we part!
So could I like without romance, yes, will I, NO!

Only difference for us is going form what people see as a hetrosexual relationship, to a Lesbian relationship!

Should make for some interesting looks and comments.

Quote from: Tristan on March 17, 2013, 04:08:28 PM
I'm not sure. Although this is something I did not even think about pre transition I must say. No I would not be happy. I mean I so get alot of male attention now with date offers and even some girl attention for the same. I don't think I could live without it to well.

ooh la la nice new pic you look gorgeous. i can sees why you get so much attention.

Eh, you kind of get used to being alone after a while.

Would I still be happy? Yes.

But my self-esteem and ego would, probably take a hit. Fortunately I have have no such issues, and get plenty of attention for my needs :). I've been in a relationship with the same guy for the last 1.5 years. Met him while I was still preop too. So it depends a lot on the person, but I think everyone likes a little attention every now and then.
YMMV.

Quote from: big kim on March 17, 2013, 03:13:17 PM
I've come to accept being alone,it doesn't make me sad anymore it used to.I have enough interests and never enough time to do all I want.A romance would be nice if it happened but I just can't see it I'm not much of a drinker and don't really like bars and clubs.

Well, you do make me hopeful the pangs of envy will finally go away and I can just be all "meh" about the whole thing :) Hope there aren't years to go before that, though :S

Quote from: Joanna Dark on March 17, 2013, 04:25:23 PM
ooh la la nice new pic you look gorgeous. i can sees why you get so much attention.

awww thank you Joanna. yeah i really milk it and make guys buy me stuff. i know its bad but they make it so easy and i do love it. oh that pic is no make up at the pool by the way  >:-)

Quote from: muuu on March 17, 2013, 01:14:05 PM
I would not be happy... If I was happy with my body at that point, after a little bit without having anyone finding me attractive that happiness be gone and I doubt I'd feel like I was passing.
So, I don't think I would be very ok with that.

As surprised as you may be, I feel the same way. I used to not care, as long as I passed and was accepted. But now that I have transitioned and DO get quite a bit of male attention, it would be a huge hit on my confidence if it stopped. After a while I would wonder if I was passing and that would probably effect my happiness.

When you're not interested in men, no getting romantic attention could make you happier. I don't like men staring at me :icon_raving:

In a more serious note, yes, you can be happy, but you won't feel fully fulfilled. I think you're selling yourself short. Finding a partner can take time.

Quote from: Saffron on March 17, 2013, 06:55:22 PM
When you're not interested in men, no getting romantic attention could make you happier. I don't like men staring at me :icon_raving:

I like men but I get annoyed. I can't even ride my bike without getting stared at and whistles. It makes me feel unsafe tbh. But deep down it does make me feel good even if most of them are older or trashy. I would rather that than nothing though.

Since I stopped dating to take care of my gender issues on their own, I'm pretty much in that same position right now except that I'm still stuck in this male body. I can only guess that having the right body, I'd be more equipped to cope without a relationship, but who knows. I do crave them, but my relationship history tells me that I end them all because of a need to be a woman, so I force myself to abstain. Maybe it'll be different on the other side.

Quote from: Alainaluvsu on March 17, 2013, 07:21:41 PM
I like men but I get annoyed. I can't even ride my bike without getting stared at and whistles. It makes me feel unsafe tbh. But deep down it does make me feel good even if most of them are older or trashy. I would rather that than nothing though.

i have to agree with you. its not just about liking guys. but when they see you as a woman and attractive you know you pass. which means you dont have to worry about some drunk hill billy or thug hurting you for being TS/TG. it embarrasses me to say it but i know for a fact that people of my skin tone tend to be violent towards people like TS/TG folk.

I think I could be happy without it cause I'm doing that right now. But I do got to admit I want somebody to think I'm beautiful and treat me that way.

Yes, I would still be happy.

Love is easy to find.  Adopt a dog and you will have all the love in the world.  Yes, I know, it isn't the same thing as having a human love you, but a dog does not care how your hair looks or if you spend the day in sweats.

Friendships are important to me, romance not so much  :)  If a friendship should evolve into a romance then so be it but I'm not particularly looking for a romance with anybody

Yes, of coarse I will always be happy as a woman regardless  :icon_chick:

Well, I don't really have much desire for a romantic relationship. Mostly, this is because I haven't done well in them in the past, and I think that there are better people for whoever to be dating. I'm pretty out of touch with people, and I'm mostly okay with this fact, but I suppose romance would be fun if I were a people person...

This transition is for myself more than anything else. I want to look pretty so that I can look at myself and like what I see, for once.

Kia Ora Paige,

I think somebody else had mentioned it, that what attracts people to other people varies...One has only got to look at the cis world of opposite and same sex couples... There are 'paired' beauty and the beast, beauty on beauty, beast on beast, one can 'never' say never when it comes to who will be attracted to whom...There's physical attraction being the most common, but then there's other types of things that draws people together romantically other than their physical appearance....

For me personally, I have no desire for an intimate relationship, I blend in quite well and have the odd admirer or three, but I'm what you would call an asexual bi-affectionate/romantic with no desire for any kind of intimate relationship...I'm totally 'content' with my current status quo...

So I guess in answer to your question, I would have to say YES my level of happiness wouldn't change if there were no romantic advances towards me...

After all, in a past life I had "been there and done that and have got the memories to prove it !"...

Metta Zenda :)

Well, I wouldn't be thrilled by it, but at the same time, it wouldn't be any worse than things are now. As a guy, I've never gotten any romantic attention, so it would merely be a continuation of the status quo. As such, even if I never found a romantic partner, if I was happier with the rest of my life, I'd consider it a net gain.

Quote from: MaidofOrleans on March 17, 2013, 03:22:18 PM
bars and clubs aren't the only places to find romance.

I'd say they are the worst.

Couldn't agree more. 

Quote from: Tristan on March 17, 2013, 08:20:31 PM
i have to agree with you. its not just about liking guys. but when they see you as a woman and attractive you know you pass. which means you dont have to worry about some drunk hill billy or thug hurting you for being TS/TG. it embarrasses me to say it but i know for a fact that people of my skin tone tend to be violent towards people like TS/TG folk.

Exactly

I think a lot of this has to do with how one was raised, and one's culture. Many people were raised in an era or place when women were expected to stay at home by the phone and wait for that magical prince to find them.

I was raised by a tribe of amazon women (though it was only late in life that I came out officially as a daughter/sister) and every woman in my family would laugh their head off at the question.
Because women in my family are not passive when it comes to romance, or anything else in life.
We give romantic attention, and we expect to receive it in return. And if we aren't getting our needs met, we speak up and take action and make things better. Straight out of the jungle!

I had a hard time with my own passivity when I was trapped in a boy mask, but since I dropped the mask I also dropped the passive tense.

I think any man or woman who is part of a small population that is spread out geographically (genius? transgender? gay? lesbian? accordion player?) needs to put away passivity and work hard at connecting with like-minded and love-likely candidates.

Right now, I have all the romantic attention I can handle and am happy with, but if I need more, the world is my oyster bed. I just have to go out and make it. But wait around hoping for it to appear? No.
Or trade my voice for a pair of perfect legs like the little mermaid did so that she could passively attract a guy who couldn't love her the way she really was? LOL no. She didn't need to make herself cislegged. She just needed to meet better men.

Could there be a time that I want no romantic attention? Sure. Everybody needs a break some times.

Thanks for all the responses :) It's interesting to read so many varying opinions.

Madeline, it does vary a lot across cultures I guess. I can tell you that where I live, if you are a woman and show any inclination of wishing for male attention in any enviornment, you will be laughed out of there. And that is personal experience, and not only mine. Men go up to those who they like. There is an abundance of Russian men here and they can be downright nasty if you step over that line, because it is their job to take their pick of who they show romantic attention to and those girls will be treated well and with respect. Other girls are ignored.

It doesn't even seem to be a matter of shyness, or what kind of community it is. From high school to university to hobby group to nightclub the status quo is upheld.

And it's not considered socially acceptable to talk about feeling unwanted or even about the fact that you are unwanted. The only issue the women here care to discuss is which men to take and which to toss. If you don't get complimentary attention and are unhappy with it your own gender considers you a pariah.

I guess romantic loneliness is not a topic anyone anywhere wants to discuss, though, making it even worse for those of us who experience it.

MS.Obrien, I really don't think you can compare having a pet or a child for that matter to having a romantic partner. Romantic love comes with the kind of support and validation you simply cannot get from a creature dependent on you for their basic needs. Or, you can get, but it's incredibly immoral and illegal :D

Would I be genuinely happy? Maybe not. I don't know. Since I've had a relationship, I've begun to think that I'll need love to be happy.

But I would certainly be happier than now. And I would have the prerequisite for being happy: being myself. That's already a big plus. And if I can manage to make friends one day, who knows, perhaps I can find a lot of happiness in friendship.

Not to mention that if I knew that if I managed to get FFS/whatever at some point, or if I found someone who really loved me despite appearance (or with it, who knows, there are all kinds of tastes), I could actually live love without feeling awful about it, that would be a huge plus.

As male, I could never, ever, be in a relationship. The only reason I've had one is because it was a long-distance one (of course, it wasn't supposed to stay as one, but sadly, she fell out of love), which allowed me to fall in love without feeling awful about myself, and because my girlfriend was truly understanding, gentle and respectful. And above all, she saw me as her girlfriend, nothing else.

If the fact of being in a relationship means to be a girlfriend instead of a boyfriend, it becomes a possibility. And that's a huge plus, as well.

Quote from: Paige H on March 18, 2013, 08:12:39 AM
Thanks for all the responses :) It's interesting to read so many varying opinions.

Madeline, it does vary a lot across cultures I guess. I can tell you that where I live, if you are a woman and show any inclination of wishing for male attention in any enviornment, you will be laughed out of there. And that is personal experience, and not only mine. Men go up to those who they like. There is an abundance of Russian men here and they can be downright nasty if you step over that line, because it is their job to take their pick of who they show romantic attention to and those girls will be treated well and with respect. Other girls are ignored.

It doesn't even seem to be a matter of shyness, or what kind of community it is. From high school to university to hobby group to nightclub the status quo is upheld.

And it's not considered socially acceptable to talk about feeling unwanted or even about the fact that you are unwanted. The only issue the women here care to discuss is which men to take and which to toss. If you don't get complimentary attention and are unhappy with it your own gender considers you a pariah.

I guess romantic loneliness is not a topic anyone anywhere wants to discuss, though, making it even worse for those of us who experience it.

That would be very rough. Feminism hasn't changed every society, or every aspect of every society, equally, and there are many places where boy-girl courtship rules are still in the stone age.
I grew up in a culture like that, and I can tell you it wasn't fun even on the guy side, for the nice / less aggressive / less controlling guys. I think even though I live in a progressive place now, that is one of the reasons I avoid dating straight men, because the boy-girl courtship dynamic still has a lot to be desired for my age group. Things are much more balanced on the gayer side of courtship.  :laugh:

Trans women are at a real disadvantage in any traditionalist courtship market because we tend to lack decades of socialization and practice in the subtle techniques which equalize the courtship power between the sexes.
There are ciswomen who are not typical in looks or background but who have the personality and have developed the skills to manipulate men into falling over themselves to get to know them. In traditionalist places, those skills are still absolutely necessary unless you were born drop dead gorgeous.
More remarkable to watch are transwomen who have the innate personality or skill to overcome the lack of years of training, and still twirl men around their little finger. But it is a studiable and masterable skill.

I was very unhappy in my 20s when I could never find a girl who could appreciate me, and I think that is one of the reasons my first marriage was to someone who didn't really like that much. My heart goes out to everyone, male and female, who feels stuck in a courtship land that doesn't make it easy to find the love they deserve.

I avoided posting here because I wasn't sure how to say this.  So simple is best.

I'll never be pretty or have romance , but as long as I have a few close friends and relatives that use my name and properly gender me I'll be a very happy woman.   I do give my sons a pass on everything I just said, because we love each other and they want to call me Dad instead of Kathy.   :)

K

I'd still rather be an unattractive/ugly woman than a handsome guy.

.

Quote from: muuu on March 18, 2013, 11:20:44 AM
It's assuming you're passing, and how you would feel if nobody found you attractive.

Talk to older/elderly MTF....usually they're passable and have become invisible ...for romance, being attractive etc.

I personaly know one MTF in her late thirties who is very passable but very plain to look at.
No romance, no nothing,  but she's very pleased with her quiet passable as a woman life.

"Would you still be happy as a woman who doesn't get romantic attention?"

Yep  yep yep!!!!    I've spent enough time doing the give and take thats required and have had enough of the slow loss of ones trueself that comes with it. For some I know that is acceptable and great; I'm done with it!  I no longer will put aside or mute my likes,dislikes,passions and dreams to any degree for someone that is not family. I come as is.. take it or leave it and I'm not looking.   >:-)

Not a woman, but I knew going in that I'd probably end up a lot less attractive as a short trans dude than I was as a woman. And that's true conventionally, anyway. Somehow women find me attractive anyway. Not sure how happy that makes me because they usually think I'm a cis dude, so I usually don't pursue it.
But yes, I did transition expecting that love and sex would be far less easy. I think most of us do. Male or female transitioners, we all know that our dating pool will be different and smaller. There will be people who don't want us no matter how attractive we are simply because we're trans.

I do think it's different for those of us who have already had plenty of love/sex etc in our lives. Like Kuan Yin, I've been there, done that, had enough for several lifetimes, so anything more is just (a very welcome) surplus.

Though I suppose if nobody found me attractive as a man, it could get to me after awhile. But that's a human issue, not a male or female or trans issue. Nobody wants to feel unwanted.

Quote from: Dahlia on March 18, 2013, 12:09:55 PM
Talk to older/elderly MTF....usually they're passable and have become invisible ...for romance, being attractive etc.

I personaly know one MTF in her late thirties who is very passable but very plain to look at.
No romance, no nothing,  but she's very pleased with her quiet passable as a woman life.

well, if your friend ever gets the urge for more romance she could always put on some makeup. yes? i think most people don't want to be alone.

Quote from: muuu on March 18, 2013, 11:20:44 AM
Well... we're not talking about if you rather be a man or a woman who nobody finds attractive.
It's assuming you're passing, and how you would feel if nobody found you attractive.

Quote from: Dahlia on March 18, 2013, 12:09:55 PM
Talk to older/elderly MTF....usually they're passable and have become invisible ...for romance, being attractive etc.

I personaly know one MTF in her late thirties who is very passable but very plain to look at.
No romance, no nothing,  but she's very pleased with her quiet passable as a woman life.

At almost 62 I be happy with a few close friends and relatives as I said before.  And I'm already happier than last year at this time.  My wife and I are still together for now, and theres no romance.  Weather we stay together or not things won't change, and I'm still happy.

Kathy

Quote from: Joanna Dark on March 18, 2013, 01:46:33 PM
well, if your friend ever gets the urge for more romance she could always put on some makeup. yes? i think most people don't want to be alone.

She DOES use make up. 'Plain'  sounds nicer than 'unattractive', don't you think so?

Yeah lol plain does sound a lot better when I think of it I just think of a kind of a plain woman sans make up. 

Yes, I was happy as a woman who got no romantic attention.

But I'm far happier as a woman who does.

Quote from: Joanna Dark on March 18, 2013, 01:46:33 PM
well, if your friend ever gets the urge for more romance she could always put on some makeup. yes? i think most people don't want to be alone.

Makeup? Really? Stereotype much?

well she said plain so that's the impression I got. it was a suggestion. yeah girls never wear makeup i'm totally making a stereotype i guess that's why the cosmetics industry is in such bad bad shape. i knew i'd get snapped at too for making the suggestion. i'll never understand the animosity towards it on a MTF TS forum. if there was one place i thought i could be myself without reproach you'd think it would be here.

During my initial transition I would have said no I did not need a romantic relationship. In part from leaving a terrible marriage before transition and never wanting go through such a situation again. I, however, got to the point of wanting what every other woman seemed to have, a deep romantic connection with someone. It became such a desire in me and I think I would have felt incomplete as a woman without such a relationship in my life, which I don't think my friends would have ever been able to fulfill. My relationship in many ways helps define my womanhood and validates my femininity. I would not be happy and would have continued to feel there was something missing.

I guess it's not really something I thought about much pre-transition. I'd already decided that I couldn't handle relationships with the body I had then, so it wasn't like I could make my romantic situation worse. And being told that I was attractive in that body was pretty miserable.

But post-transition, I still have a very hard time perceiving myself as attractive or desirable, so, yes, it certainly helps my self-esteem issues to have other people telling me that I am. And, ya, the appearance of my body is pretty important to me. I've put in a lot of effort, and continue to put in a lot of effort to craft it into something beautiful. I also have a girlfriend that I really, really like.

I think transition was the reverse for me. I didn't make an ugly boy, but I'm far more attractive as a girl. And I also have a far more attractive personality when I'm not miserable. I made for a fairly bland intellectual boy. I'm a pretty charming, clever and unusual queer girl. So, ya. Sometimes things work out?

I think I'd be less happy. I don't know if that would mean I'd be unhappy.

I didn't get married until I was 40.  Most of the time prior to that, I didn't have much in the way of romance.  I was OK.  I will be better now as a woman than I was then as a man.

There are some nice things about not being in a serious and constant relationship.  However, there are some very nice things about having someone there who loves you. 

My wife is still with me.  I would prefer she doesn't leave but if she does, I'll understand.  And if she leaves, I will be alone for a while and then, I would start trying to find someone again. 

Would I still be happy without romantic attention?

Sure, I could earn money by selling my story as a really ugly transwoman but I don't think it's possible.

The way I see it attraction is highly individual and it doesn't matter who you are or how you look or present yourself there will always be someone in the world who finds you attractive.

I never really got dates on how I looked or presented myself but almost always on who I was inside as a person. Before I couldn't deal with such a relationship.

Now that I can I'm holding out for a sustainable relationship. I've grown tired of the emotional wear and tear of developing a relationship and having to explain certain things, and now I'm mid transition I'm really not going to go out of my way to enter into something which is going to end up in more loss, hurt, rejection and separation.

If it happens of course I'd be thrilled but if it doesn't I will still have my creativity, I will still have my friends, my interests, and numerous opportunities for happiness and fulfillment.

I'd be okay. I'm in a LTR right now with someone who doesn't care where I'm at on the gender spectrum, but saying she bolts for whatever reason, I have no problem being alone. I was for several years before she came along, and I was fine with it... I mean, I wasn't even looking for a relationship.

Being myself and accepting it is the key to my happiness, not what other people think of me.

Initially, I would be ok but eventually, I would want to find a companion to do stuff with. True romance has always been an issue for me but would like it the end.

Yes I would I have vowed sexual purity to my God till after my transformation and I'm properly married to the one I can't live without. There are so many new feelings and emotions that I fully want to explore as I make the physical transformation and I feel totally complete. As a man I gave my most precious gift away cheaply. How many people get a second virginity to Do it Gods way this is a gift I will be forever thankful for love you all hope we can talk again soon

I've never had any romantic attention anyways, so if that happens then nothing has changed :)
So I think I'll be happy regardless

I wouldn't be happy, but Ill always be a woman! :)

I have a extremely low sex drive and although I have minor interest in romance, I personally can live without it, because in my mind there is only one person on this planet for me, and the chances of me meeting that person? Not likely. They could be in India, Africa, New Zealand, or next door. I have a good grasp on what love is, and I can certainly say I've never truly been in love before.

I do love my friends, family, etc, just not romantically. Besides my friend (whom is 60 years old - I'm 21 by the way), got divorced 40 years ago, and she is the happiest woman I have ever seen. She has a beautiful home arranged in a Feng Shui style and sings, dances, etc, she knows how to entertain herself and has friend and family. I was 11 when I decided I didn't need a relationship, and when I was 16 I met my friend for the first time and now most of my influence is from her.

I personally believe that not everyone will meet the right one, or the one they love. A majority of people think that they have found the one, but later divorce, or perhaps breakup and enter another relationship, another, and another.

I'm not Asexual, I consider myself "straight as a boy" but "lesbian as a girl", but in all honesty I'd prefer to label myself as a Panromantic; Asexual - meaning I don't sexually attracted to anyone UNLESS I love them. I think that title suits me very well, but who knows?

Edit: I got side tracked and forgot what I was answering. I'd like to make sure I looked attractive --- only for no one to have me, haha!


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Call me shallow, but if no person ever found me romantically attractive as a girl then I'd probably cry lol More power to the people that can be happy with nothing from the opposite sex but I need something. I need validation to know that I'm doing my job right. I'm sure some guy will always find someone attractive though. It's normal. It's pretty much impossible to not be attractive to ANYONE. I *think* anyways. If you're alive, there has to be someone who finds you attractive. Whether it be through personality more than anything, I'm sure there's love for everyone. ->-bleeped-<-, even I am talking to a guy who saw me the next day, looking as ugly as possible & he somehow still finds me attractive. Even other people who I thought were way out of my league were mine for a night or have told me they find me attractive. I don't see it but they do & that's the magic in perspective from others. It's not your own & you may never see it, but it's their's & only they can comprehend it.

Anyways, I think I got a bit off topic. Bottom line, would I be happy? Maybe one day down the line, when I'm like 35, yes. Being 18 & having not even went through my prime as a woman? Hell to the f**king NO . Should this be everyone's opinion? Probably not. It'll probably screw me up down the line more than anything tbh.

YES
...at my age, although I wish I were a lot younger, then my answer would probably be very different

L Katy