Community Conversation => Transsexual talk => Female to male transsexual talk (FTM) => Topic started by: Darkflame on March 20, 2013, 03:43:11 PM Return to Full Version

Title: How do you know you've picked the right name?
Post by: Darkflame on March 20, 2013, 03:43:11 PM
I've had a vague idea for a pretty long time that once I'm fully and completely out and I start the process of changing my name, it'll be Shane. The name has kind of followed me around. It's weird, whenever I've said it out loud explaining to somebody that's what I'm going to name myself I get this giddy euphoric feeling. I smile like when you're looking at someone you love, stupidly and uncontrollably. But I've started entertaining the idea of another name. Preston, another one I've always kind of liked. I like how it sounds. So cool. It doesn't give that giddy feeling, it's more like "wouldn't that be a badass name  8)" I wonder about adding it as my middle name, but then I'd lose out on keeping my birth name in the middle (it's unisex) idek, names are confusing  ??? Are you supposed to know when you've got it right, or does it take some figuring out. I'm kind of indecisive by nature, but I don't want to change it after I start telling everyone  :-\
Title: Re: How do you know you've picked the right name?
Post by: Devin87 on March 20, 2013, 04:09:10 PM
I got kind of a giddy "that's ME!" feeling the first few times I thought of/said aloud my name.  But it's been my legal name for almost a year now and I still sometimes get a "that's not me" feeling when people use it.  I mean, I'm getting more and more used to it, but it's been a very slow process still.
Title: Re: How do you know you've picked the right name?
Post by: anibioman on March 20, 2013, 04:22:11 PM
i thought i like it. it felt right when people started calling me parker and it felt good to call myself parker. i think you need to test it out before making final decisions like tell them shane when they ask for your name at Starbucks and test it out for a bit. also try to find a name that fits for the time you where born. ive found that trans guys tend to pick names that are popular now but weren't at the time of their birth. parker is a last name first name so it kinda skips that rule.
Title: Re: How do you know you've picked the right name?
Post by: AdamMLP on March 20, 2013, 04:31:18 PM
You can have two middle names you know. So you don't have to sacrifice your middle name being your birthname if you want to include Preston.
Title: Re: How do you know you've picked the right name?
Post by: Lrouk on March 20, 2013, 05:35:04 PM
My name is something I've always kinda liked. Not even sure why really  :P. I've always used it for rpg characters and stuff, and Luke just sounds like me when I say it out loud.  It's a name that's been really easy for me to associate with myself, even though I'm nowhere near completely out. (Sometimes when I play tennis and have a rough set I'll think 'Get it together, Luke!' without even thinking about it.)

Still haven't had a middle name that gives me that giddy feeling like Luke does, so I'm definitely still thinking about it. My birth name is out of the question because it's not even close to unisex.  Got a few in mind, but like you I don't want to tell anyone until I'm positive.

For me, the first name came naturally. Just test the names out on yourself (I'm gonna have to try out the Starbucks idea!). Whatever sticks, sticks!  Good luck and I hope you figure out something you like.
Title: Re: How do you know you've picked the right name?
Post by: Sly on March 20, 2013, 05:50:42 PM
When I first switched to my current name it felt a little weird at first.  People would try to get my attention and it would take me a moment to be like "Oh, that's me."  I like it for a few different reasons though-- Sylvester is my full name and I go by Sly.  My given name was long and I went by a shorter nickname, so I wanted to do the same thing with my chosen name.  And I like S names in general.

Sometimes I kind of regret choosing an unusual name.  If I were to do it over again I'd probably choose something more common.  But it's already legally changed and it's kind of stuck, so I'm alright with it.
Title: Re: How do you know you've picked the right name?
Post by: spacerace on March 20, 2013, 06:38:18 PM
I thought I wanted one name and attached myself to it forever. However, it was too close to my birth name for me to enjoy it. I always felt a tinge of regret when I saw it places I was testing it out.

Then, at the last minute, I changed my mind to something else, and that name clicked easily and instantly.  No regrets, and I am glad I ditched the name that had the connection to my female one. No reason to have myself reminded of it constantly. I did not think it would be a problem at first, but it grated on me eventually.
Title: Re: How do you know you've picked the right name?
Post by: cezcal20 on March 20, 2013, 06:48:40 PM
I always liked the name Chris but its my brothers name and plus its a gender neutral as well : Christie, Christine, Christopher,Christian..etc so i went with a name that i haven't heard anyone from where i live have.
Title: Re: How do you know you've picked the right name?
Post by: Blaine on March 21, 2013, 12:19:35 AM
Both my first and middle female names were in the top five most common names for my birth year so I opted for an uncommon first name this time around. When I started using my new name to get coffee or a haircut it made me grin like an idiot. I haven't used my legal name in 7 years so I have more trouble responding to it than to my new name.
Title: Re: How do you know you've picked the right name?
Post by: Big Stitch on March 21, 2013, 01:15:31 AM
I went through the just pick something crazy and badass phase when picking my name. I easily had one name that just fit and felt right that had been used by my best friend and I for years and I knew that would fall in either my first or middle slot. Finding the second name proved more difficult and then picking if it would be my first or middle. Keep in mind you don't have to use your first name if you like your middle better as a go by. I wrote the name a million times, said it and hell even took a vote between family and friends. While it may seem like a go now and forever hold your piece type of thing keep in mind that you can change your name again and again (pain in the ass paperwork) but also it is ok to take months to find what really fits right before going through the legal change. It took me almost 3 months before I had it down to 2 names and it really was not until I wrote the name on the court forms that I realized which out of the 2 was right for me.
Title: Re: How do you know you've picked the right name?
Post by: Darkflame on March 21, 2013, 09:51:13 AM
Quote from: AlexanderC on March 20, 2013, 04:31:18 PM
You can have two middle names you know. So you don't have to sacrifice your middle name being your birthname if you want to include Preston.

I know I could, but I'm just adverse to the idea personally. My full birth name has two long middle names, and a hyphenated first name (that I never went by) and I just feel like it gets awkward. I want to stop at first middle last. The longer time goes by, the more I distance myself from my birth name, maybe I'll just keep it out.

Didn't think of that Big Stitch, I could go by either my first or middle once I get it changed. My dad does that so I know it's not uncommon.
Title: Re: How do you know you've picked the right name?
Post by: Contravene on March 21, 2013, 11:11:43 AM
I've been thinking of names a lot lately too and almost have the same problem.

My birth name is distinctly female but it's not something I've ever been dysphoric about, the only thing I don't like about it is how common it is. When I transition though I plan on changing it to a male version of the name. The only problem is that the male version is pretty uncommon. I'm afraid that I'll get some odd reactions with it but I just wouldn't feel right with anything else so I'm trying to find a middle name that's a little more solid.

I'm planning on asking my girlfriend and friends to help me test some names to see how I feel about them. If I find a name I like, I'll probably ask them to slip it into normal conversation every now and then to see how I react when it's used and other things like that. I also try signing different names too to see how they'll look together as a signature. Maybe you could try some things like that.
Title: Re: How do you know you've picked the right name?
Post by: aleon515 on March 21, 2013, 05:28:44 PM
I don't know but I got the feeling "that suits me". A lot of other people kind of think that as well-- "yeah that's you".


--Jay
Title: Re: How do you know you've picked the right name?
Post by: Simon on March 21, 2013, 07:32:11 PM
Quote from: Sly on March 20, 2013, 05:50:42 PM
Sometimes I kind of regret choosing an unusual name.  If I were to do it over again I'd probably choose something more common.  But it's already legally changed and it's kind of stuck, so I'm alright with it.

I agree, if I had it to do over again I would have asked my mom to pick something more usual for a 30 year old guy born and raised in the Southern USA. Oh well, people tend to like the name Simon regardless and since I've had it legal for 11 years it's more "me" than my birthname ever was.