Community Conversation => Transsexual talk => Female to male transsexual talk (FTM) => Topic started by: Liminal Stranger on April 11, 2013, 07:20:19 PM Return to Full Version
Title: This is way too much fun.
Post by: Liminal Stranger on April 11, 2013, 07:20:19 PM
Post by: Liminal Stranger on April 11, 2013, 07:20:19 PM
So I gained some measure of confidence in an epiphany on a bus surrounded by obnoxious people while clinging to a cello for dear life. And yet another one while walking home recently. both were epiphanies of self-confidence and certainty that yes, this is what I truly want (thank you therapist for asking). Funny, we had an essay yesterday and the topic was the relationship between certainty and doubt.
Well, the certainty in my own self, something she had commented on by saying I wasn't confident in my male identity, took a boost of ridiculous proportions. So I've started to explain the whole situation to those people I couldn't tell, because screw it, I'm not what they think I am. But the best part has been messing with the underclassmen in my gym class to the point where they literally have no clue what gender I am, nor what my biological sex is. I've been hinting them towards male just because they act as if their brains will explode if they can't place me into one category or the other. It's hilarious >:-)
The reactions of the people I've been coming out to are hilarious too. One guy just automatically assumed that I'm a dude with a girl name. I mean, it is pretty much the truth, but eh.
If only I had the right parts. Combating dysphoria with lots of layers and socks is making me sad because I want to just take my shirt off and not have to panic about what if some person is somehow able to see me through the blinds, or about the random issues with girl parts, or this whole social scene. I mean jeez, you'd never ask a cisguy to grow his hair out while going on about how it's every girl's dream to have that kind of hair and ignoring his protests, then asking him "How's your boyfriend?" in that way girls talk to...well, other girls. Eww.
Seriously, I don't sound gay and she knows too. Maybe I'll try to bring it up gently. Though I'm certainly enjoying this whole process, it's great watching people be confused.
Well, the certainty in my own self, something she had commented on by saying I wasn't confident in my male identity, took a boost of ridiculous proportions. So I've started to explain the whole situation to those people I couldn't tell, because screw it, I'm not what they think I am. But the best part has been messing with the underclassmen in my gym class to the point where they literally have no clue what gender I am, nor what my biological sex is. I've been hinting them towards male just because they act as if their brains will explode if they can't place me into one category or the other. It's hilarious >:-)
The reactions of the people I've been coming out to are hilarious too. One guy just automatically assumed that I'm a dude with a girl name. I mean, it is pretty much the truth, but eh.
If only I had the right parts. Combating dysphoria with lots of layers and socks is making me sad because I want to just take my shirt off and not have to panic about what if some person is somehow able to see me through the blinds, or about the random issues with girl parts, or this whole social scene. I mean jeez, you'd never ask a cisguy to grow his hair out while going on about how it's every girl's dream to have that kind of hair and ignoring his protests, then asking him "How's your boyfriend?" in that way girls talk to...well, other girls. Eww.
Seriously, I don't sound gay and she knows too. Maybe I'll try to bring it up gently. Though I'm certainly enjoying this whole process, it's great watching people be confused.
Title: Re: This is way too much fun.
Post by: Devlyn on April 11, 2013, 07:29:03 PM
Post by: Devlyn on April 11, 2013, 07:29:03 PM
Enjoying the confusion of others......hmmmmmmmm......that's Devlyn approved!
Title: Re: This is way too much fun.
Post by: Taka on April 12, 2013, 06:02:25 AM
Post by: Taka on April 12, 2013, 06:02:25 AM
you're wrong about the hair. there are many girls who'd ask a cis guy with nice hair to grow it out so they can admire and envy. girls admire the young sakurai atsushi for being the sexiest guy ever, as well as having the prettiest hair, thinking it's a shame they didn't use him for advertising hair products. asking about the boyfriend is something they'd only do with a gay guy, so if you're straight, you should get away when they start doing that.
Title: Re: This is way too much fun.
Post by: aleon515 on April 12, 2013, 10:24:46 AM
Post by: aleon515 on April 12, 2013, 10:24:46 AM
Yeah since T, I am "passing" more as a "what's that?" I kind of enjoy this some days. I am not particularly binary. So I enjoy the confusion of others a bit. If I never got misgendered might be pretty happy looking in the middle like this. I am guessing my general size and lack of body hair are confusing. Yeah there are guys with less hair but they already need to get by my height. I think I am seen as male sometimes. But I don't think people are 100% certain.
BTW, you mention an Asian character-- though you know that many Asians lack the genes to grow a lot of body hair. But I think that is expected.
Don't know if you know of the person neutrois me. Has a blog http://neutrois.me/ (http://neutrois.me/)
You might like this. He doesn't identify as male, so has been back and forth on T. Writes very well.
--Jay
BTW, you mention an Asian character-- though you know that many Asians lack the genes to grow a lot of body hair. But I think that is expected.
Don't know if you know of the person neutrois me. Has a blog http://neutrois.me/ (http://neutrois.me/)
You might like this. He doesn't identify as male, so has been back and forth on T. Writes very well.
--Jay
Title: Re: This is way too much fun.
Post by: Mosaic dude on April 12, 2013, 06:43:48 PM
Post by: Mosaic dude on April 12, 2013, 06:43:48 PM
Oh yeah, messing with people is the best part of being trans. Hours of fun.
Title: Re: This is way too much fun.
Post by: Liminal Stranger on April 12, 2013, 11:09:33 PM
Post by: Liminal Stranger on April 12, 2013, 11:09:33 PM
Hah, I showed up at my concert in a tuxedo, now all the kids in my gym class are convinced that I'm male. I guess I pull off the classy gentleman look pretty well. Even managed to pass for a 17 year old guy just now at the bus station, that's the oldest I've ever been read like that. But the guy at the food cart called me sweetie, mainly because of my freaking hair which needs to stop doing what it's doing right now because having it go across my face whenever there's a breeze does not help me pass. I tried correcting the guy but he just smiled in that obnoxious way they smile at females. Just...no. Bad food cart guy.
I want a haircut, dammit. My hair gets in the way when I go to eat and it's already past my shoulders :c
I want a haircut, dammit. My hair gets in the way when I go to eat and it's already past my shoulders :c
Title: Re: This is way too much fun.
Post by: Arch on April 12, 2013, 11:19:53 PM
Post by: Arch on April 12, 2013, 11:19:53 PM
I just wanted to say that "messing with" people can have serious repercussions. And, in my opinion, it's not particularly civil--or-safe--to do it with the express intention of confusing people and making them feel stupid, especially if you understand that most people are still trapped in binaristic bigotry and anti-trans sentiments. One of my friends got beaten up very badly when he wasn't even trying to mess with people. Why invite it?
Title: Re: This is way too much fun.
Post by: Liminal Stranger on April 12, 2013, 11:36:13 PM
Post by: Liminal Stranger on April 12, 2013, 11:36:13 PM
See, Arch...I go to an arts school. Chock full of open-minded people, most are somewhere in the LGBT alphabet soup. I know a trans kid or two there, as well as this one who purposefully does this. I just played along because they got confused and it was fun watching them try so hard to determine it. But they've decided that I'm male, and if something points otherwise and they bring it up I'll tell them.
To be frank, they're not like that. You can say that you never know, but I know this student body well enough to say that- the absolute worst anyone would do is gossip about things (never works, news dies fast in that school), or make a funny face at you, or misgender you unintentionally, or come up with some lame insult. They aren't big brutes...like I said, it's an arts school. They're stereotypical art school kids, and in the entire time I've been there only one fight broke out. It was over a very serious incident, and nobody got hurt other than bruises. So I'm not too worried.
Edit: For clarification, they find it funny too. We joked about it lightheartedly today. So I don't think anyone is too upset.
To be frank, they're not like that. You can say that you never know, but I know this student body well enough to say that- the absolute worst anyone would do is gossip about things (never works, news dies fast in that school), or make a funny face at you, or misgender you unintentionally, or come up with some lame insult. They aren't big brutes...like I said, it's an arts school. They're stereotypical art school kids, and in the entire time I've been there only one fight broke out. It was over a very serious incident, and nobody got hurt other than bruises. So I'm not too worried.
Edit: For clarification, they find it funny too. We joked about it lightheartedly today. So I don't think anyone is too upset.