Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Is there anything you wouldn't do to pass?

I was with a bunch of transwomen last night and they were talking about how when they were in a toilet stall, they pointed their "stream" so that it didn't land in the water, because urine from a penis sounds different from urine from a natural female opening.

For me, if there's some woman who's going to listen to me pee and then hang around outside my stall to find out who I am, I'll deal with it then.

How about you? Anything you won't do?

I hate being so tall. Still, I cannot see me going for one of those esoteric lets chop out sections of your leg bones to shorten you some. Of sourse the arms need to be proportional. I'll still have those big frog hands and super size feet. Scary

I've already passed...the rubicon in terms of having stuff chopped and changed. But I wouldn't lie to a partner about my history. I wouldn't do that.

I've always peed to the side for as along I can remember. I'm embarrassed about making sounds..

I won't do two things: 1. Sex work.  2. Detransition.  I may be unemployed but I will not do ether of these.

If you are ever in a busy bathroom, that a minute to just listen.  Can you tell anything unusual?  Probably not and most people don't listen to hear someone else peeing.

When I decide to do something I won't give up; don't know how to.

I won't abandon my wife - ever

There are four stalls in the ladies loo at work and there is usually more than one person having a pee at any given time and I have to admit I have never even thought about listening to anyone having a pee!!!! :laugh: sounds silly :laugh: sorry :laugh:

Quote from: suzifrommd on April 14, 2013, 04:11:25 PM
Is there anything you wouldn't do to pass?

I was with a bunch of transwomen last night and they were talking about how when they were in a toilet stall, they pointed their "stream" so that it didn't land in the water, because urine from a penis sounds different from urine from a natural female opening.

For me, if there's some woman who's going to listen to me pee and then hang around outside my stall to find out who I am, I'll deal with it then.

How about you? Anything you won't do?

"I would do anything to pass, But I won't do THAT. Oh no I won't do that!"  :laugh:

I do something similar in that I don't use a stand-to-pee device. I have no problem going in the stall to sit in the men's room. I've never been questioned or had any issues. I also don't do anything to control my stream or the sound. I figure if a guy is listening and analyzing the sound of another guy's urine, he's got issues.

I also don't pack or put anything in my pants to create a bulge. To me, it's like false advertising.  :laugh:

I guess I'm a naturalist when it comes to genitals. This is the organ I have. This is what it does.

Another thing I won't do is touch someone intimately who does not know what I have down there. I won't touch a woman (or man) who doesn't wish ME to. So no strap-ons in the dark or anything like that for me.

Listening to someone pee sounds asinine to me. I have noted that men in the men's john occasionally make a big production out of taking a BM, lots of huffing, puffing and grunting which is not only disgusting but somewhat humorous and is a dead giveaway that there is some Neanderthal in the adjacent stall.

Quote from: Ms. OBrien CVT on April 14, 2013, 05:17:55 PM
I won't do two things: 1. Sex work.  2. Detransition.  I may be unemployed but I will not do ether of these.

If you are ever in a busy bathroom, that a minute to just listen.  Can you tell anything unusual?  Probably not and most people don't listen to hear someone else peeing.

Indeed

Hey, I will have you know that it is perfectly normal to listen to others in the bathroom.  I'm offended that anyone would suggest that there is something sick or stalker like about it.  And I thought this was an open community.  (Hoping that sarcasm translates over the internet,lol).

I wouldn't change my taste in music or love for video games.  Some say girls don't game or listen to prog, but I think that is an idiotic generalization.  Still, that is something that may make me appear less feminine that I wouldn't change.  Other than that, I would refuse to take a job to pay for transitioning if it made me feel that I had to sell out my personal morals.  I won't elaborate as a way to avoid political debate,lol. 

I won't use an STP either. I suffered too many tears and feelings of inadequacy after peeing all over myself and my clothes. I do get scared in the men's stalls, but not enough to risk wetting myself in public.

But one thing I unequivocally WON'T do is act like a jerk to pass as male. I've had countless people tell me to act aggressively or be rude, and I won't go there. I don't act like a polite Southern belle, lol, but I won't act like an ape to pass. Ever. I'd rather have people think of me as less of a man, because I know how it feels to be hurt by men who want to "establish" their manhood. Won't do it.

There are Neanderthal men and then there are Southern Gentlemen.  The Southern Gentlemen can be tough, fearless and gentle.

I won't change my personality to fit stereotypes. I don't care what anyone else says. I'm the one who has to stay awake at night thinking about how unhappy I am and how awful I feel for leading people to believe I'm someone else. I'm the one who has to live with my words and my decisions, not them.

I won't be pressured into bullying someone. I know how that feels and no one deserves to feel that way. I don't care if I'm one of The Guys or not. If I considered someone who acts like that a friend, I have some issues I should go work on over at the other table.

I also won't use an STP. With my inability to even do urine tests correctly... Not a good plan.  :)

Quote from: Cindy James on April 14, 2013, 06:18:42 PM.

I won't abandon my wife - ever

This with a capital TH

Like Cindy, I'm one of the fortunate ones on this point. If my health had held I would have been doing quite a bit, especially now. In particular, I would have been seeking out, if not having had, bottom surgery. (The ugly bit. Not my bottom!)

I know exactly how my wife would react. It's really complicated and for those that know her and us, utterly predictable. Needless to say, it would be enormous fun and probably teach me and everyone else more than we realise!

Strangely, this is easier for me to think of this, than what I will do (Something I'm trying hard not to think about so that when I finaly work up the nerve to talk to my wife about it, she will know I honestly want her to have a say in what happens). What I won't do is, pretty much what everyone else has said, really.

I won't compromise my morals. I won't try to be a different person (I'll still have the same likes and dislikes and personality, because my goal is to change my gender, not become someone different), compromise my morals, and I just can't bring myself to concider doing sex work.

That last one would make me personaly feel terrible, I think.

I don't know what I won't do.. I mean, I bind unsafely (0/10 do not recommend!), I pack with whatever I've got available and if I had access to an stp I would use that (hurry up, September!) and other things. I have actually tried changing my personality and the way I act in public. I don't like doing it and I don't do it often but sometimes I'm desperate.

I think I wouldn't do anything that would hurt someone else. Like not telling them if we were gonna get intimate. At the moment I don't use the mens loos, out of fear because I know I don't pass usually. And I think I'll never give up my passion for working with kids, regardless that people think it's not manly. I know plenty of men who love working with kids and are great at it, like my old primary school teachers, the leader of the kid's group I help at, some of the people I work with, and my friend who's cis and who wants to be a primary teacher, like me.

As others have said, I won't change my personality. For me, this means a few things. Along with keeping my likes and dislikes as they are, I'm also trying to bring my behaviour closer to what fits my personality whether people like it or not.
I also don't use and stp or packer. I am curious about using one, but I keep thinking if I had something in my pants that wasn't mine, it would just be a constant reminder that I don't have a real one.
I won't bind with ace bandages or any other unsafe way.
If I had a significant other, they'd know before dating me what equipment I have. Me, I refuse to date anyone who puts my junk at a higher priority than my mind and I'm not all that interested in that stuff anyway.

Quote from: Edge on April 15, 2013, 06:09:55 PM
As others have said, I won't change my personality. For me, this means a few things. Along with keeping my likes and dislikes as they are, I'm also trying to bring my behaviour closer to what fits my personality whether people like it or not.
I also don't use and stp or packer. I am curious about using one, but I keep thinking if I had something in my pants that wasn't mine, it would just be a constant reminder that I don't have a real one.
I won't bind with ace bandages or any other unsafe way.
If I had a significant other, they'd know before dating me what equipment I have. Me, I refuse to date anyone who puts my junk at a higher priority than my mind and I'm not all that interested in that stuff anyway.

Edge, you're got your head screwed on correctly, good for you. Sounds like you're getting pretty secure within your own persona!

I am a firm believer of all or nothing. I dont think I would truly be happy with myself If I didnt commit to the full thing. *waves at the boys down there* Later you guys.

Quote from: suzifrommd on April 14, 2013, 04:11:25 PM
I was with a bunch of transwomen last night and they were talking about how when they were in a toilet stall, they pointed their "stream" so that it didn't land in the water, because urine from a penis sounds different from urine from a natural female opening.

How about you? Anything you won't do?

I have seen exactly the same stuff on the ftm list. Discussion about how your pee sounds with an STP vs regular. I don't think I'm going to worry about it. :)

I agree with Edge, I've seen guys who worry about being basically tough enough or male enough. I'll be who I am. If I'm the Alan Alda type, well mom would have liked that. She loved Alan Alda.


--Jay

Is there anybody here who wants a list?

Seriously.. Where do people get this idea that we're all fitted with standard genitalia? The way I see it genitalia are as varied and individual as faces are.

Maybe it's just me, but generally I can think of more interesting things to think about than whether I pass and what random strangers in the street are going to think of me.

Quote from: Prof HB on April 14, 2013, 10:01:43 PM

But one thing I unequivocally WON'T do is act like a jerk to pass as male. I've had countless people tell me to act aggressively or be rude, and I won't go there. I don't act like a polite Southern belle, lol, but I won't act like an ape to pass. Ever. I'd rather have people think of me as less of a man, because I know how it feels to be hurt by men who want to "establish" their manhood. Won't do it.

Yeah, I was surprised when I saw people suggesting stuff like that (not to me personally). To be honest, that advice seems to be coming from a place of misandry.

Things I won't do?

Hmm let's see, some of the things I HAVE done, for different reasons, but just to point out how outrageous I can be.

One hot summer very early morning, I was walking home from my then shop, on parents property, to my place further in towards down town. It had a spot that followed the river and was along a long since gone rail line that is now a bike path. We are talking maybe a 3 block duration walk, tree covered more or less in shadow. But essentially it is a residential area. So being the bold lunatic, I took off my clothes and walked along the path butt naked, just for the amusement.

Would I do outrageous things for the sake of passing? Can't see why I wouldn't I suppose.

I mean, I am capable of doing basically anything.

The thing is, how important is it to me to be seen as a female? I consider one of my all time favourite things, is to pretend I am in a night club wearing something downright awesome, and I am up dancing and giving it my all. I want to enjoy doing what all the cis females want to be doing. I want to be making the guys horny for me :) Funny thing for me of course, is I don't want a man, I just want to be that convincing.

But daydreams are just what they are eh. I'd feel kinda sorry for any guy so desperate, he'd make a pass at me :)

I'm not planning to put myself through physical pain and torment, trying to recreate a female walk and the ass sway of a woman. Nope, just not going to happen. Not with my health issues. I have trouble walking at all. I am not expecting to have a lot of success sitting all lady like in a skirt, I probably will just make sure my skirts are of a practical length, that I can sit with it position in such a way, that my panties won't be on display. Sitting with legs crossed. Tried it, hurt myself doing it, not planning to fuss over it in the future.

I also dream some day of wearing cute female swim suits. I don't think a bikini is impossible, but, the bottoms? I expect a skirt will be required. Hey I have seen my fav singer Celine Dion, that gal has almost no bust eh. It's not like all women have much to put in their tops.

I have noticed my capacity to curse has lessened. I like that actually.
I have been finding as I embrace my real self, a lot of my behaviour has started to annoy me more.
I don't seem to like some things I used to like.
How much of it is my female self taking over though, I can't be sure.

Quote from: Lesley_Roberta on April 15, 2013, 10:59:34 PM

I have noticed my capacity to curse has lessened. I like that actually.
I have been finding as I embrace my real self, a lot of my behaviour has started to annoy me more.
I don't seem to like some things I used to like.
How much of it is my female self taking over though, I can't be sure.

Yes thank God I can totally relate, me formerly being Mr. F word personified.

I regularly use the men's restroom with no problems, use a stall and sit.  I have a STP but haven't learned how to pee with it through the fly in my jeans.  I do fine in the shower but have leaked everytime with my jeans on.  I don't think anyone ever listerns or pays attention to how someone pees, guys go in  and do there business and leave may not even wash there hands.  I still use tampons and have to open them but I have never had anyone look when I came out of the stall.

Quote from: aleon515 on April 15, 2013, 07:42:04 PMI've seen guys who worry about being basically tough enough or male enough.

Heheh. I've got a different problem. People tend to keep telling me I don't need to change my behaviour, but completely ignore that the behaviour I want to change makes me feel very uncomfortable. They also get my behaviour confused with my personality which I can't blame them for and I'm trying to find a balance between showing my personality more (which is tough and male) and still being socially acceptable and that doesn't make me come across as a complete jerk.

If anyone bugs me about how my peeing sounds different, I'll be pointing out how creepy it is that they were listening.
Oh yeah I also won't wear a binder if my ribs hurt a lot or if wearing one would make me much more likely to get heat stroke. That last one is fixed and the first only happened once. Hurrah!

Edge, binders can be a real problem in the summer for me.  I don't want it so tight it hurts or I can't breathe and pass out.  Also with short sleeves you don't want it showing either.  I am fine with a binder in the winter when I wear long sleeves and hoodies.   I have a couple of tight sports bras which don't have any real cups to shape your chest and have real wide strapes around and over the shoulders.  They don't look like a bra at all.  I wear them most in the summer.

Listening to the comments, I suppose any of you gals would love accompanying me into the men's room.

I enter, sit my purse on counter, take out my comb and adjust my hair if it was windy. I might fresher my perfume and find it funny I am making the men's room smell of female. I make a fuss of adjusting my clothing.

I don't give a damn if I am freaking out any guys.

Yeah I know, I am not going to be mistaken as a female visually at this time, I am just doing all the things their wives or girlfriends might do while making the wait for them to come out of the restroom :)

Worried about guys being nasty to me? Well I just hope they notice the cane beside me, the one made from a hickory sledge hammer handle. Behave yourself buster, I carry this for a reason. I can see to it you wear orthopedic shirts for the rest of your life.

I don't want to change the way I talk and act. I've been told I sound too much like a "bogan" (Australian term, like a redneck), and I'm too brash and bold with things that I say. But that's part of who I am, when presenting as a woman I don't want to force myself to act girly just because people expect that from a woman.

Quote from: Not-so Fat Admin on April 15, 2013, 08:19:38 PM
Yeah, I was surprised when I saw people suggesting stuff like that (not to me personally). To be honest, that advice seems to be coming from a place of misandry.

I was on a FB list about an hour. Then I actually looked at the conversation it was all either misangynonstic or just about body functions. It was ridiculous stuff that some guys feel they need to assert themselves in this particular way to be male. Wouldn't want to go there and don't need to anyway. The list owner felt that interest in protecting the rights of women or using politically correct language for gays, for instance, was ____. Well I won't even use the first letter.

--Jay

Quote from: Ms. OBrien CVT on April 14, 2013, 05:17:55 PM
I won't do two things: 1. Sex work.  2. Detransition.  I may be unemployed but I will not do ether of these.

If you are ever in a busy bathroom, that a minute to just listen.  Can you tell anything unusual?  Probably not and most people don't listen to hear someone else peeing.

yep, i that covers my thinking.
besides someone listening to someone else pee?? omg can you be weirder?
then again we are a pretty rare bunch, so I'll guess we'll get away with the benefit of the doubt :) transperk  >:-)