Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Kia Ora,

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZzH_rJjGMOA (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZzH_rJjGMOA)

In times of need who do/can you 'lean' on ?

Friends ? Family? Faith in a deity ? Susan's ?  ?  ?  ?

We all need somebody to lean on...And there's always somebody to lean on !


Metta Zenda :)

Well, I find a lot of support in two of my friends, Keaira and Charlie. I like knowing I will see Keaira every night, somehow it's comforting to know that there's someone who's just going to be there, even if we're just having a good time. And we get along well. I don't see my friend Charlie as often, but she gives really good advice and is a great support system, and we have both always been able to count on each other.

But I think, above all else, I have a very strong internal compass that I picked up one day, and I lean on that above all else. It's one simple thought: I was wrong. In what I in many ways consider to be a prior life, I was miserable. I honestly half-expected to fall asleep most nights and never wake up, because I couldn't see a life ahead of me. I did everything everyone told me to. I was told to work at a big grocery chain, because it was more "stable", but the job went against my personal values in a number of ways. I was told to major in science at uni, because no other field would get me a job. I didn't make friends with the "wrong" people, who, at my age, were most people, lol. And of course, I tried to live as a woman - and date guys, too. Because that's what you "should" do. Any other path would make me miserable, and I was convinced of that. But I was wrong.

Well, one day, I quit my job at the grocery store and began working at a place that was more environmentally and socially conscious, and treated its workers better despite not having a union. I made friends with all sorts of "alternative" types that my family would frown upon, and for once, I fit in and had people who had some real substance. I switched from a science degree to women's studies, and am now doing a master's in a similar field. I started dating a woman I loved, and admitted to myself that I was trans - but did all my research before coming out and making the decision to pursue hormones and surgeries. And suddenly, I had reasons to wake up in the morning. Life was exciting and meaningful. I wanted to be everywhere I went. I didn't just show up, I was there, I was engaged. I never knew such a thing could exist for me...so when things feel impossible, when I have to be patient, when i can't see the way out, I remember that I couldn't see the way out before, either. And if I had died, as I often wished, I'd never have known what was in store.

I have a thread on Facebook with the friends I'm "out" to, and they've all been super-supportive.  I also post here when something big or frustrating happens, and the people here are wonderful as well :).

I have one particularly understanding and accepting family member I've always gone to for support and reassurance for everything. Not surprisingly, she already knew I was trans when I came out to her (and was the only one who wasn't shocked). Susan's has been a great place for support, too, even since I started lurking here last year. I'm working on my lack of a social life so I'll have a larger net to fall back on.

Shantel.   She is the only person I can go to, or the only person I feel comfortable talking with.  I will post a bit here, too, but overall...it's just Shantel through e-mail.  Otherwise, no one.  I just kind of hope it all blows over.  It's not a good thing, but it's all I've got.  In real life, I'm a shy person and I hate imposing on others so I don't lean on anybody.  I don't even lean on faith.  I just hope I can get myself over it.

... No one. Even if I do tell someone what's bothering me, I am always aware that they are either going to turn on me or suddenly ignore me sooner or later and anything I tell them can be used against me. People keep trying to tell me that that can't be true as if they know what my life is like better than I do (they don't) which just pisses me off.