Susan's Place Transgender Resources

One thing I never hear mentioned is how postops handle dilation at work? I transitioned at work. Same job before, during, and now. They know about me, but not everyone knows why I took disability leave (only my boss & HR), and I don't feel like sharing that with everyone. I'm 7 weeks postop and I'll be having to return to work soon. Sometimes I work a 10-12 hour day. That's is going to be difficult. Now I do have an office with a door that locks... but I always keep it open. So closing it will cause suspicion right off the bat. It's the sort of place where people wouldn't bother to knock anyway. So I can lock the door, but I'm definitely not going to be sharing "the reason why" with anyone. Maybe I'll tell them I'm meditating? I'm in upper management, so I have a degree of being able to do what I want, when I want... but I can see potential issues popping up. I'm thinking of getting a yoga mat for the floor and going for it.

What did everyone else do? Suggestions?

Make a 'Do not disturb - the lady is resting' sign and hang it outside? Find a one-person restroom?

Quote from: ZoeM on May 02, 2013, 11:33:07 AM
Make a 'Do not disturb - the lady is resting' sign and hang it outside? Find a one-person restroom?

Thought about the restroom idea... but you need to lie down in order to dilate. And there is no way I'm getting down on those floors... mat or not. Yuck.

I like the "resting sign" idea... but I'm betting they'll still try the knob... and/or yell thru the door.

I know I do it at work. And I work in. a hospital. I just use empty rooms

You can use soft rubber dildo, leave it inside and wear tight panties over it so it won't slip off. Then you can walk around and nobody would know a thing! Sitting maybe alittle uncomfortable but I did that and sit while using sewing machine at home.

Amazon has a lot of them in many size.

I thought about it and thought about it... and eventually gave up! For the few remaining days where I had to dilate 4X a day I just drove home at lunch (I was lucky to live close enough and get a generous lunch period). After that, I would get up at 5 am, dilate, go to work, come home and dilate at 4 pm, and again before bedtime. It wasn't ideal, maybe, but it worked out okay.

Quote from: Tristan on May 02, 2013, 02:36:04 PM
I know I do it at work. And I work in. a hospital. I just use empty rooms

I wish we had such private empty rooms. I know the moment I lock my door and get everything out... someone will need to come in to see me for some BS urgent reason... like they are out of staples.

Quote from: mintra on May 02, 2013, 02:49:50 PM
You can use soft rubber dildo, leave it inside and wear tight panties over it so it won't slip off. Then you can walk around and nobody would know a thing! Sitting maybe alittle uncomfortable but I did that and sit while using sewing machine at home.

Amazon has a lot of them in many size.

Unfortunately if it were only so simple. We have to use a certain type of dilator... hard plastic and not comfy... and it's not something would you ever try to walk around with inside of you. It would really hurt. I asked my surgeon a similar question though. It would be easy this way.

The building I worked in before I retired had a group of two or three mini-conference rooms on half of the floors since our general work often required highly sensitive meetings that were not for the ears of co-workers etc.  (Law enforcement issues) The rooms were first come first served no questions asked or allowed, had I not retired before transitioning, they would have been my fall back if I could not have telecommuted on certain days.  I would have used a room on a floor other than where my agency was housed.

The next level would be to get your common supervisor informed that you will be "off clock" completely for a set period of time each day.  The boss can simply tell people not to bother you when you hang a do not disturb sign out, and the reason is confidential and and if the boss hears any scuttlebut going on, or disregard of your privacy innocent or not it will result in their getting a disciplinary hearing up to and including dismissal.  Since you have a known time period you will be doing this, and the date it will be over (good lord willing and the creek don't rise) is known, it will not be that big a problem. 

I was in a similar situation not to long ago (7 months?) But what I did is wait as long as possible for my work who was not aware about my situation at all.  8 Weeks is the amount of time I took off from work.

At 8 weeks as a Dr. McGinn patient you can pretty much go to 3 times per day (down from 5) -- So I spread out my dilation schedule as follows

1st thing in morning (45 mins)
2nd within first half hour of returning from work (45 mins)
3rd last thing before bed. (45 mins)

This translated to approximately 7:30-8:15am, 6:30-7:15pm, 12:30-1:15am.

It does suck at first to have to schedule around dilating...but once you get down to 1 time per day you can do what I'm doing now which is just doing it right at the end of your day before bed so it does not affect your day in that regard.

I'm highly recommending working it out in the comfort of your own home is possible...its always best to have as equal spread of time between dilations  but when you're working its hard to do that.  As long as you get your 3 in with a decent spread I think you'll work out fine :)

Quote from: Jessica07 on May 04, 2013, 07:51:41 PM


1st thing in morning (45 mins)
2nd within first half hour of returning from work (45 mins)
3rd last thing before bed. (45 mins)

This is how I intend on managing, which is soon to happen :-\

oh and Jenn I know its not your intentions but I get visuals at some of the things you say and can't help but crack up... :laugh:

Quote from: Jessica07 on May 04, 2013, 07:51:41 PM
I was in a similar situation not to long ago (7 months?) But what I did is wait as long as possible for my work who was not aware about my situation at all.  8 Weeks is the amount of time I took off from work.

At 8 weeks as a Dr. McGinn patient you can pretty much go to 3 times per day (down from 5) -- So I spread out my dilation schedule as follows

1st thing in morning (45 mins)
2nd within first half hour of returning from work (45 mins)
3rd last thing before bed. (45 mins)

This translated to approximately 7:30-8:15am, 6:30-7:15pm, 12:30-1:15am.

It does suck at first to have to schedule around dilating...but once you get down to 1 time per day you can do what I'm doing now which is just doing it right at the end of your day before bed so it does not affect your day in that regard.

I'm highly recommending working it out in the comfort of your own home is possible...its always best to have as equal spread of time between dilations  but when you're working its hard to do that.  As long as you get your 3 in with a decent spread I think you'll work out fine :)

Thanks Jessica. This is the best answer I heard so far and I haven't thought of anything else myself. So this will be the plan. I mean who wants to dilate at work. Stressful situation... Maybe just a little.  :)

Quote from: calico on May 06, 2013, 03:21:35 AM
This is how I intend on managing, which is soon to happen :-\

oh and Jenn I know its not your intentions but I get visuals at some of the things you say and can't help but crack up... :laugh:

Actually most times it is.  ;)

I'm a very sarcastic and sardonic person. Some situations in life you really have to laugh at (like detaling with all the SRS related stuff)... Otherwise, you might spend a lot of time crying. I prefer laughing. 
;D

umm make a sign that says "Confidential phone call in process do not disturb under any circumstance"

I will say that anyone one who thinks dilating isn't that bad before they have surgery is in for a rude awakening, my day quite literally is no time for anything :( >:(
right now I get up at 5 am to dilate, then go to work about 630, than after work 430- to  600 I dilate again ,then one more time at bout 9-10 to get back to bed for 5 hours and to start over. :(

Do not underestimate this!! what little time you do get involves cleaning up, and rushing like heck to buy supplies and food it is definitely not fun..

Quote from: calico on May 16, 2013, 05:46:58 AM
I will say that anyone one who thinks dilating isn't that bad before they have surgery is in for a rude awakening, my day quite literally is no time for anything :( >:(
right now I get up at 5 am to dilate, then go to work about 630, than after work 430- to  600 I dilate again ,then one more time at bout 9-10 to get back to bed for 5 hours and to start over. :(

Do not underestimate this!! what little time you do get involves cleaning up, and rushing like heck to buy supplies and food it is definitely not fun..

This is completely true. It will run your life and most things will revolve around it for the first 6 months post op. You have to schedule everything around dilation and plan your day accordingly. You have to think, where will I be in 3-4 hours... Do I have enough time to go there or do that. It's time consuming and boring.

and aggravating as well ::)

I would dare say that one feature of choosing your surgeon would be to find out WHAT their post op dilation regimen is going to be.  At 12 weeks I got to drop from 3X to 2X and effectively gained two and a half hours per day.  It is still a bloody nuisance, but you can get yourself down to a pattern where you are on auto-pilot.  Happily, things get cleaner as time goes by.  I am using about 1/4 of the lube I was for the first 10 weeks and it feels fine.  I know I used too much goo for weeks because I was frankly scared or tearing or bruising stuff. But a week ago my gyno took a look on schedule and told me I would have to use a sharp stick to do damage now.  Not that I am going that route!!  I am now at 16 weeks.

I have a very large closet in my classroom. A student of mine built a chaise lounge a few years back for a show and I basically locked myself in the closet and dilated during my prep period. I was very happy when I was able to cut back to two a day.