Susan's Place Transgender Resources

So lately I got my eyes checked, and it appears I'm going to need some glasses.
Me and my parents tried some stuff on, but I didn't like any of them (from the women's rack, unfortunately. I really wanted to 'drift' to the other side, lol ::)), and I want glasses that make me look MORE manly, not less, lol.

So what kind of glasses are best? And... how am I going to save myself from this with my parents stuck to my back, without outing myself on the spot, lol. There is no 'unisex' corner in the optician I'm going to, only kids, men and women.
Tips anyone??

-Erik

Mention that you would like some 'tough' looking glasses? Not ones that make your face softer, but makes it look badass? If you are presenting as a tomboy, this would not be a weird request. I think they would still offer you girl glasses, but they would lean more towards the guy spectrum.

I said that I grew out my old glasses, so I need another frame, which is true, because of T my head became somehow bigger. You could say you have problems with female frames cause they're not wide enough to your head (?)  :D Or just say the male ones fits your style better.

I'd say get a pair of the black rimmed glasses. They're unisex and in style. I've gotta get a new pair of glasses soon too and will probably go with a pair of those.

I guess I don't see how picking male frames will out you. Just try on whatever catches your eye and pick the ones you like. If anyone gives you crap, just say you like that style. I mean, glasses aren't THAT different, gender-wise. I technically have 'girl' glasses and my husband has 'guy' ones. We could swap them out and no one would be able to tell.

Besides, society is pretty darn accepting of females having masculine mannerisms and style. I think it might be more of an issue for an obviously male-bodied person looking for feminine accessories. But really, this isn't even remotely the sort of issue that should out you to anyone.

So, go to the shop, ignore that gender even exists in there, and pick the glasses you like.  ;D

And if you're still worried, err on the side of neutral colors (black, brown) and stay away from little round/oval frames.

Generally women's frames will have smaller proportions than men's frames. Go for a square or rectangular shape. The basic rule I go by is soft face angular frame, angular face round frame. You could also try rimless glasses and ask they be cut into whatever shape you see and like.

by brother and my girlfriend just got new glasses so its funny the timing of this post. i think the most manly glasses are rectangular half frame glasses like these
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimage.shutterstock.com%2Fdisplay_pic_with_logo%2F259645%2F112603292%2Fstock-photo-young-cool-trendy-man-with-glasses-smiling-112603292.jpg&hash=ed2b90005fd3da88634c9407046b58753a0801be)
because only men wear them if you get 'hipster glasses' it might point you more towards lesbian. i also think these are a god option if you want basic plastic frames.
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fsempaleto.com.br%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2012%2F08%2Fman-with-glasses.jpeg&hash=8afc2f445a02beb1a0db73fa167824595a2f6dac)

Thanks for the advice guys :) I'll be looking for the glasses after my exams, I'll tell how it went!

It's a bit of a shame that the men's side isn't attached to the women's one, so I cannot 'unknowingly' wander over there, but I could just bring it up like it's nothing. Like "Why don't check out the others too? Eh?"
My parents are pretty ok with me being more masculine than usual (oddly enough they haven't even asked a single time whether I'm trans, or even a lesbian), but since I've accepted myself as trans I'm constantly afraid they'll read something into it and find out (while frankly I actually wouldn't mind them finding out, as I just HAVE to out myself at some point, and they're pretty accepting), lol.

I wasn't planning on round glasses anyway, they look horrible on my head, square ones with semi round corners or just totally square suit me best.
But it's also really weird to see glasses on your head, lol! It just looks so different! :o

Order some online from zennioptical.

I'm lucky in the fact that if I say to my mum I'm looking at men's glasses, thats normal because I always get guys stuff. However, the last time I got new glasses the assistant kept getting me to try on ladies. I eventually found a pair Iliked aand that I thought made me more masculine. I have a friend who works as an optician and he pointing out they were female frames after close inspection. My point is, there isn't much difference between male and female frames and some female ones are masculine and some male ones are feminine, depending on your face shape. Even if you can only buy female ones, you may be surprised that some can actually make you look more masculine.

I'd just walk over to the mens side and grab a pair.  Glasses shouldn't really be gendered at all.  Frame/face size would be a better way to divide them up.  ridiculous. 

Say that they're in style.  What do parents know about that sort of thing?  That and if they're pretty accepting (and will potentially have to some day accept you being ftm) why wouldn't they accept that you just prefer one style over another and that that style happens to be on an adjacent wall. 

Quote from: GnomeKid on May 19, 2013, 03:03:30 PM
Say that they're in style. 

Thick dark plastic frames are in style on both sides of the store. If Ray Ban Wayfarer-type glasses look good on you, they're a decently androgynous choice.

I think one huge difference between men's and women's glasses is the temple (the part that goes back over your ear). Women's glasses tend to have fancy embellished temples, while men's are plain. You can even use that as an excuse maybe, say that you're looking for something plain and the women's side is too fancy.

These are my glasses. One pair is from the women's side and one is from the men's. But which is which? ;)

(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.imgur.com%2FgLB39DH.jpg&hash=8dc6bfc98d555ba718f2ea23709d48f822af9722)   (https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.imgur.com%2FsHaV5he.jpg&hash=ef5f31226b7d0be70c8aed8bff48ee21291a5f90)

Quote from: Simon on May 19, 2013, 11:48:31 AM
I'd say get a pair of the black rimmed glasses. They're unisex and in style. I've gotta get a new pair of glasses soon too and will probably go with a pair of those.

I wear black thick rimmed glasses and they're mens, but a lot of women wear them too. It might be an option.

I always shopped in the men's section with my mom. I'm sure they won't care. Glasses are glasses. If you need them and can't find what you like in the women's, there's nothing wrong with trying on men's glasses. :3 They're much more unisex than you'd think anyway.

Back 2 1/2 years ago I got a pair of plastic Covergirl frames that look like these, but teal on the inside instead of pink.
http://www.ezcontactsusa.com/images/d/2794577_1.jpg (http://www.ezcontactsusa.com/images/d/2794577_1.jpg)

6 months ago I got a pair of men's that looked the same, but the lenses are a bit bigger. If you ask the optician for something "more square," they'll typically lead you to the men's section by default.

I still wear the Covergirl ones because they're lighter, and they have never hindered my ability to pass. I wouldn't worry about being pin-pointed as a lesbian because of getting glasses, unless you already have that problem. Actually, before starting T, many people told me that I passed better while wearing glasses. So who knows, it may help. :p

Years ago when I had the same dilemma, I just pointed out that the men's ones happened to be cheaper and said I didn't care that they were men's glasses. My mother just shrugged and said, "Okay, get those, then." ...Of course, that tactic works best if you and/or your mom have a small budget for glasses.

Have you tried contacts? I'm much more of a fan of contacts than glasses (get dailies and you don't have to clean them, except rinsing before you put them on). Rain, dust, and all the other things that make you clean your glasses ten times a day aren't a problem with contacts, plus you get peripheral vision! :)

When I was trying out new frames early in my transition, I unknowingly strayed into the women's section and wound up with several men's and one women's to try on. I held up the women's and noted that I liked them except that they were awfully frilly on the temple...I hadn't noticed that when I'd first picked out the frames. The woman who was helping me was aghast and said something like, "Oh, no, you can't have those! They're for women!"

A couple of years later, a friend of mine found a purple pair that he really really liked. The staff member tried to dissuade him because they were women's frames, but he said that he liked them and wanted them.

Nobody ever complained when I was presenting as female and picking out men's frames. Not once.

Yeah, true, glasses shouldn't be gendered. (once again shows this societies craze to pasta a gender on EVERYTHING!)
And Arch, I'd wish a staff member would say that! ;D It would totally make my day, lol.

I have only had coloured contacts, just for fun, but they were a pain to get in each time, and I could still kind of FEEL them on my eyes, which was really unpleasant :s So I'd rather have glasses, actually.

Thanks for the tips everybody! I'm was just a bit nervous about it because my parents were coming as well, but I'm sure it'll go fine :)
I mean, glasses are glasses!

Would it be possible to go sometime without your parents?  Maybe if you're near there on your own go in and buy a pair and then tell them that a friend was looking and you saw a pair you really liked so just got them before they sold out?  That way they won't know which gender they're supposed to be for.

I'm sure half of the male glasses wearing population that I've met wear female frames, or at least have very femme tastes, one of my lecturers has a pair of zebra striped glasses, which really doesn't fit the rest of his attire, my boss always wore a pink pair until the chef pointed them out and we haven't seen them since, and my grandfather's don't exactly look masculine either, but he's convinced that all F1 drivers wear them...

Would you be able to go look at things yourself so you can pick your glasses without your parents and then have them hold them for you behind the counter until you go back with your parents?

Like others have said, glasses aren't necessarily gendered.  Most places even have a "unisex" section that you might find something good in.  I'd try the "these are cheaper" or "I think these would fit my face better" argument.  Or maybe try on some crazy ones along with the ones you're really interested in and they might be more open to you looking at the mens ones.  Like put on some purple ones and some zebra ones then go over to the mens section and try on the big giant nerd ones or round Harry Potter ones just to get over there and break the barrier in a funny way.  Then put on some ones you really like and if you see a pair that clicks for you, say so.

I personal don't don't the plastic frames.  I'm more of a wire frame person.  I've gotten steadily more rectangular over the years, as well.  Looking back at my old glasses I started out more round-- I think my first pair was oval, purple wire frames-- and then went to more rectangular with round corners and now they're much more angular.  They definitely help my face look better.

I've got contacts but I only wear them when glasses are impractical or dangerous.  Last time I wore them I was getting evacuated off roller coasters so I couldn't wear my glasses but I didn't want to be climbing out onto 30ft high tracks blind.  I also wear them to martial arts classes and sometimes when I know I'm going to be out in the rain (it's hard to see through raindrop covered glasses).  It takes a few weeks to get used to them and then you stop feeling them and you forget they're in.  But I still prefer my glasses because I like the way they shape my face.

I used to wear glasses and when it comes to glasses they're, for the most part, genderless, the difference in section is more for size difference.  Women tend to have narrower faces so the sizes are more suited to them.  I personally have a tiny head and some of the women's glasses were better for me in size but they were more unisex than women's.  The issue you might find shopping in the guy's section is that finding sizes will be harder.  In the end I ended up getting teenage frames and teenage frames aren't split into genders, so that kinda speaks volumes because teenagers are male and female too, so it's more a size thing.  Obviously there will be some styles that are more feminine but in general glasses are glasses and advice about what style suits different folks is based on shape of your face, not gender.  I wouldn't even say there's a masculine style of glasses, I've seen guys with round and I've seen them with rectangular.  Sometimes rectangular just doesn't suit people's faces and they look ridiculous, and vice versa.  Whatever works for a guy, works for that guy.  Glasses are glasses, I wouldn't look for masculinity in them, I'd just look for what works.

I wouldn't worry about it too much.  If there's something you like in the guy's section then check them out.  I find that if you go somewhere good and know the size that fits you (the 3 numbers on the inside of one of the legs), they'll find you a good few options that would work based on size and guy ones may well pop up in there (or teenage if you have a teeny head like me lol).  The length of the legs (3rd number) can be altered to a degree to suit, but the first two numbers are more fixed with very little leeway (taken in, not so much expanded).

BTW, I totally get if you just don't want to have anything even remotely considered feminine (I relate) but maybe asking them to pick them out based on size and just not tell you what section they came from, and then you never know if they were supposed to be for women!

I was not out when I got my first pair of man glasses.  True, I didn't have family trying to steer me to the ladies glasses, but the people in the optical shop knew me and said, Oh, those are men's glasses. I was like, I know. ;)

I got ones similar to those rectangle ones pictured at first, current ones are rimless, but I need a new pair also (a year overdue).

Jay

Yeah, true. You guys are pretty right.
I'm going to buy glasses after my exams (after may the 27th), and I'll tell how it went, and post pics of the chosen glasses, etc. :)
I won't leave before I have my hands on a pair of glasses that suit me! *firm stance*

Quote from: Erik Ezrin on May 21, 2013, 09:55:57 AM
I won't leave before I have my hands on a pair of glasses that suit me! *firm stance*

Go for it.  I don't get people who settle for a pair of glasses they don't like or buy the cheapest glasses they can get.  It's an accessory that sits smack in the middle of your face all day every day for one-two years.  Glasses completely change the way your entire face looks and your face is what people are looking at probably 75% of the time (I just made that statistic up).  It's worth the time and extra money to get the pair that look good on you and make you feel good.

Good luck!


I was in a similar situation with my dad.  I went to go get a new pair of glasses and went into the men's section and he was like "but the women's section is over there".  I told him I wanted a men's pair and he said "okay, just hurry up and pick before the store closes". 

I don't like the glasses I picked  because I was rushed (I still wear my women's classes) but the point is with confidence I'm sure it won't be much of a problem. Even when I did show off my other pair of glasses, no one clocked them as male glasses.