Susan's Place Transgender Resources

The other side of the coin from the favorite things thread.

I'll start...  ;D

1. Getting up 1 hour earlier to do my make-up, hair, clothes before work every day.
2. Attention from guys. It's cool and affirming at first, but gets old fast. If another dude yells some cheesy pickup line at me from the window of their car while I'm out running or hits on me in the grocery store by pretending to need help finding stuff... I'll scream.
3. Getting treated like a 5 year old child... by mechanics, repair guys, or even some guys on dates that go: "Do you know how the game of football works? Do you even know how to keep score?" Then proceed to start explaining it to me like I'm their 5 year old child... hell I played the game for 6 years... I have an idea. Girls don't ever follow sports?
4. Women's Restrooms. They are dirtier and more crowded overall. The stalls are usually all occupied, seats wet/dirty and you find the strangest things lying around on the floor. Also it's like a club where women like to hang-out and talk at the sink/mirror. No more going in, doing your deed, and leaving. It's now a social event.
5. Money. It costs a whole lot more to be a girl. Clothes, make-up, hair stuff, underwear, et al are all stuff you have to spend a lot more money on.
6. Maintenance. It takes a whole lot more work to look "presentable" as a female. No more rolling out of bed, not fixing/combing my hair, throwing on any old t-shirt and shorts and walking out the door.
7. Becoming a member of the secret "women's club" where if you are alone in a room with another woman and 5 guys... the one woman will always want to start a conversation with me and suddenly want to be my best friend. Hair, clothes, make-up, whatever... sometimes people will find the most common and innocuous stuff to start a long boring conversation about.
8. Perception and stereotypes. Just because you may look like the average 20s-something chick doesn't mean I automatically like all the same things every other 20s-something chick does... like music, fun stuff to do, clubs and expectations. Everyone is different, and a book doesn't always match it's cover. Every person is different.

Quote from: JennX on May 22, 2013, 04:05:22 PM
The other side of the coin from the favorite things thread.

I'll start...  ;D

1. Getting up 1 hour earlier to do my make-up, hair, clothes before work every day.
2. Attention from guys. It's cool and affirming at first, but gets old fast. If another dude yells some cheesy pickup line at me from the window of their car while I'm out running or hits on me in the grocery store by pretending to need help finding stuff... I'll scream.
3. Getting treated like a 5 year old child... by mechanics, repair guys, or even some guys on dates that go: "Do you know how game of football works? Do you even know how to keep score?" Then proceed to start explaining it to me like I'm their 5 year old child... hell I played the game for 6 years... I have an idea. Girls don't ever follow sports?
4. Becoming a member of the secret "women's club" where if you are alone in a room with another women and 5 guys... the one woman will always want to start a conversation with me and be my best friend. Hair, clothes, make-up, whatever... sometimes people will find the most common and innocuous stuff to start a long boring conversation about.
5. Money. It costs a whole lot more to be a girl. Clothes, make-up, hair stuff, underwear, et al are all stuff you have to spend a lot more money on.
6. Maintenance. It takes a whole lot more work to look "presentable" as a female. No more rolling out of bed, not fixing/combing my hair, throwing on any old t-shirt and shorts and walking out the door.
7. Perception and stereotypes. Just because you may look like the average 20s-something chick doesn't mean I automatically like all the same things every other 20s-something chick does... like music, fun stuff to do, clubs and expectations. Everyone is different, and a book doesn't always match it's cover. Every person is different.

Nothing!....LOL

Jenn...your #5,

Worth it!! :)

Number 1, definitely number 1.

For me, increase in toilet tissue usage. Oy! if only I pee less often lol.

I'll go with:
Whacking self with stuff. I didn't think it would be an issue. Turns out, you can't really prepare for having proper collision zones - I mean, breasts.

Crying. Yeah, in a meta sense it's awesome, but... Seriously, hormones? Why ya gotta act up in the middle of serious conversations?

Losing strength. I was never Samson to begin with, but now? Can barely open doors sometimes.

Being scared more.  I have to worry about my safety.

Being dominated.  Ok it's good in the bedroom,  but outside of that people shouldn't grab my arm when you want me to stay,  or physically move me around or give me orders.

I dont get hassled by guys so that's a non-issue for me.
Not only is clothing more expensive but everything is designed for layering these days. So you have to buy 3-4 items of clothing for an outfit.
Worrying about finding clothes that are flattering for your body shape. And remember the days when you could roll out of bed and have a slob day? I worry about my appearance a lot more that's for sure.

Worrying about ruining a manicured nail...

I brought my son fishing the other day when I attempted to put a hook on a clasp for him....I went to close clasp and it dented my nail. Its not that they were long...its just I only get a mani 1-2 times a year...its the only time my nails look good. Really felt like a goofy girl when I told him why I couldn't finish it. On the plus side there is usually a man around to help with snags!! that also happened :)

Hair sticking to chap stick! and...just hair its self!! If I could look as cute in a pixie as Kelly Pickler on Dancing with the Stars I would do it in a minute!!

Not knowing if a guy is flirting or just being a smart ass!!

Trying to put outfits together when I'm partially color blind!!!  >:( >:(

I'll still take all of these then rather then putting up with men's egos, talking only about fishing, hunting or nascar!! (football ok :) being treated like an idiot by men (still happens though) and having no sense of color or smell!!

Nothing I really hate on the whole it's great being a girl

The thing I hate is eyebrow maintenance it truly sucks. Everything else I adore.

 I hate very little about being a girl, so far as I've experienced. I am respected, and if someone assumes I'm less than knowledgeable about something, I will demonstrate my wealth of information.

I suppose I don't like it when guys insist on paying for things all the time (it feels unfair), and I can barely tell if someone is trying to be chivalrous or mischievous when he does something kind. A side-effect of always being teased and taunted.

I also don't like how it feels to shave and be prickly/itchy/sore the next day - all three, if I do the wrong places, just the first and/or second for most other places.

That's all that comes to mind, though.

I accept all things that come with transition, good, bad or indifferent.

Its just part of being who we are.

despite the little things, this is stuff I can handle way better. And feeling like myself, Well, that's priceless. I'm on the whole so very very much happier. Just wish I wasn't trans. that's the only downside.

The reduction in personal space. Seriously, I'm not that graceful--stand that close and I am going to step on your toe. It might even be accidental.
Being stared at and catcalled by blokes... if only they were pretty ladies. Sadness.
The assumptions that come with being perceived as a woman in terms of what I am interested in or care about or think. (Pink is still gross, leave me alone.)
Working harder for less credit, and having idiots trying to mansplain things at me.
Having my gender presentation and behaviour policed in an entirely new and exciting way.
That my world is significantly less safe. (Sorry, I have no joke for that one.)

But does it really matter in terms of being trans? I deal with this stuff because I'm female. Just like any other female. And like any good feminist, I work to try to change it.

Quote from: Sarah7 on May 22, 2013, 08:32:08 PM
But does it really matter in terms of being trans? I deal with this stuff because I'm female. Just like any other female. And like any good feminist, I work to try to change it.

Bravo!

If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.

- Excerpt from Desderata by Max Ehrmann

I just started getting she'd and miss'd (even though I did get sir'd today, ughhhhhh) but being less safe. A couple weeks ago this guy was following me and then asked me if I needed something. Having men explain things to me without even asking. Most men are leagues nicer but I feel like some men are being pretty aggressive sometimes. But I may not be passing to these men and they just think I am super duper gay. But people have always thought that. I'll necro this thread in a couple months when I can no longer pass as a boy.

Whoa, we live in very different worlds... So lemme spam your post with comments. :D

Quote from: JennX on May 22, 2013, 04:05:22 PM
The other side of the coin from the favorite things thread.

I'll start...  ;D

1. Getting up 1 hour earlier to do my make-up, hair, clothes before work every day.
To be honest, I find make-up (though to be honest I'm definitely not very much "into this" yet as I'm not full-time) and hair much simpler than shaving, which not only takes an eternity and hurts, but can also bring cuts that bleed a lot. But I'll admit actually choosing clothes rather than just picking anything on top of the pile because everything is ugly anyway will take some more time. Also, hair... it's actually simpler now. Before, I had to fight with my shorter hair so there weren't ridiculous "horns" poking up from weird places, or a weird curve. Now, if I don't wanna bother, I can: ponytail.
2. Attention from guys. It's cool and affirming at first, but gets old fast. If another dude yells some cheesy pickup line at me from the window of their car while I'm out running or hits on me in the grocery store by pretending to need help finding stuff... I'll scream.
3. Getting treated like a 5 year old child... by mechanics, repair guys, or even some guys on dates that go: "Do you know how the game of football works? Do you even know how to keep score?" Then proceed to start explaining it to me like I'm their 5 year old child... hell I played the game for 6 years... I have an idea. Girls don't ever follow sports?
I actually love this. I've never had the impression I was being taken for a five-year-old (except by my family, and with reason considering my history of forgetfulness and slowness), but the more I lean towards the female side, the more people are willing to explain things to me, and the nicer they are at doing it. Even my teachers get caught in that even though they know I'm not really a girl. Even got accidentally she'd once, yay. I'm a big question asker, and I've been noticing a steep decrease in the annoyance responses when asking, and an increase in the number and detail of responses. Can't wait until I get the full effect.
4. Women's Restrooms. They are dirtier and more crowded overall. The stalls are usually all occupied, seats wet/dirty and you find the strangest things lying around on the floor. Also it's like a club where women like to hang-out and talk at the sink/mirror. No more going in, doing your deed, and leaving. It's now a social event.
Wait what? Not only are guys' washrooms super dirty and full of pee everywhere (guys pee standing, in a toilet, not always aiming very well, and sometimes with the seat down) but they're smelly! When I still used the guys' bathrooms at school, out of the 5 stalls, I always had to search for one that wasn't TOO full of pee. (There was almost never one that was truly clean.) Often, there was only one. Sometimes, there was none. In almost all cases, I had to clean before sitting. Not to mention guys throw the water open at full power and put soap and water freaking everywhere. Assuming they do wash their hands, because there are more guys than girls that don't. Also, I've been using the girls' and unisex washrooms for over a year, and I've never seen the social club phenomenon. o.o
5. Money. It costs a whole lot more to be a girl. Clothes, make-up, hair stuff, underwear, et al are all stuff you have to spend a lot more money on.
You sure that's not mostly because you actually like what you're buying now? :p
6. Maintenance. It takes a whole lot more work to look "presentable" as a female. No more rolling out of bed, not fixing/combing my hair, throwing on any old t-shirt and shorts and walking out the door.
7. Becoming a member of the secret "women's club" where if you are alone in a room with another woman and 5 guys... the one woman will always want to start a conversation with me and suddenly want to be my best friend. Hair, clothes, make-up, whatever... sometimes people will find the most common and innocuous stuff to start a long boring conversation about.
Ooh, sounds fun. I always feel lonely in a crowd, and wish someone would talk to me, but I'm too shy to talk. Funnily, in my current in-between stage, I'm part of the old people's club. Old people are drawn to me like nails to a magnet, to tell me the most "what the...?" things or ask me for help with their cell phone or bus circuits. Maybe young women with glasses, who sorta look androgynous and are definitely not carefully groomed, are an old person's definition of a sympathetic person.
8. Perception and stereotypes. Just because you may look like the average 20s-something chick doesn't mean I automatically like all the same things every other 20s-something chick does... like music, fun stuff to do, clubs and expectations. Everyone is different, and a book doesn't always match it's cover. Every person is different.
Eh, honestly, nothing ever annoyed me as much as that very same thing for guys, a few years ago, and even now, occasionally. Mowing the lawn, being able to lift things, liking manual work, knowing anything about sport, liking to drink and handling my drink, sitting like my knees are being pulled apart by a torture machine, walking like none of my body is able to flex sideways, liking metal, hard rock, rap and/or whatever is "manly music", knowing anything about famous "manly" bands from the last century, knowing what a GI Joe is, liking action movies, handling sadness "like a man", not shouting like a girl... That's a crapload of annoyances and/or nightmares I'd never want. In comparison, females are allowed to be diverse.

More on-topic, I did have one bad experience with presenting as a girl a few months ago. It was starting to get dark, so they couldn't see very well that my passing was quite meh. I was running to the video club to bring a DVD back in time, before 18:00. On my way, there were four tall guys about my age getting out of their car to go to a restaurant. They definitely didn't look respectable, even though they weren't obvious thugs at all.

They called out to me, saying things I'm not sure I remember well, but maybe something like "Hey, beauty, where are you running to? Come here!" And for the first and last (so far) time of my life, I actually feared being aggressed by those guys. 99 % chance I saw all that as scarier than it was because it was dark, I was full of adrenaline from running and they were tall, but that didn't feel good. I thought I was running out of breath, but no, I ran even faster to get out of their sight as fast as possible.

I've had a lot "baseless" and distant fears in my life, like general fear of men, fear of aliens/ghosts/killers because of a movie I made the mistake of watching, fear of not passing, fear of HRT not having any effect, fear of committing suicide... but the fear of someone, here and now, harming you, is very different. I had never felt that before, because everyone kept expecting strength of me, and people who expect strength of someone don't really tend to attack.

I dont get male attention like some of the other women here. Guess I'm not much to look at then am I? :p
Hell, I'm just glad im not laughed at for walking down the street in a skirt.

I have to reconsider my eating habbits ;) On the other hand, I never really noticed how delicious a simple salad can be when You are hungry :P

I pretty much would not tolerate somebody tossing me around - I am quite a feminist in that regard and would politely ask not to do this again. Though, I would be expecting being interrupted much more often than now - but it helps to be one of the few state experts in the area ;)

As for safety - I dunno. Maybe, I underestimate the effects of the HRT, but with more than a decade of training in several martial arts and knowledge of lotsa dirty tricks, I surely should be able to defend myself against untrained man? I mean, most of sex-offenders statistically are guys with low self-esteem in bad shape.

Quote from: JennX on May 22, 2013, 04:05:22 PM
The other side of the coin from the favorite things thread.

I'll start...  ;D

1. Getting up 1 hour earlier to do my make-up, hair, clothes before work every day.
but this is part of the FUN of being a woman! and I don't do it any way
2. Attention from guys. It's cool and affirming at first, but gets old fast. If another dude yells some cheesy pickup line at me from the window of their car while I'm out running or hits on me in the grocery store by pretending to need help finding stuff... I'll scream.
You are right here I hate getting honked at and hooted and hollered at at every turn, and no guy just wants to just be a friend, it is always about SEX, not even sex it is get laid and goodby!
3. Getting treated like a 5 year old child... by mechanics, repair guys, or even some guys on dates that go: "Do you know how the game of football works? Do you even know how to keep score?" Then proceed to start explaining it to me like I'm their 5 year old child... hell I played the game for 6 years... I have an idea. Girls don't ever follow sports?
4. Women's Restrooms. They are dirtier and more crowded overall. The stalls are usually all occupied, seats wet/dirty and you find the strangest things lying around on the floor. Also it's like a club where women like to hang-out and talk at the sink/mirror. No more going in, doing your deed, and leaving. It's now a social event.
In my experience men's rooms were FAR dirtier and the social this is PART of being a woman, I love this!  ;D share hair and makeup tips , talk, being together
5. Money. It costs a whole lot more to be a girl. Clothes, make-up, hair stuff, underwear, et al are all stuff you have to spend a lot more money on.
Don't get me started! the same exact shirt marketed to men cost 30% LESS than when marketed to women! Razors for women cost 25% more! even when built the same, pens marketed for women cost 20% more, we are not even talking about stuff that is special for women like makeup that only we use!! AND we make 70% on the dollar less NOT FAIR! (can you tell I am a feminist?
6. Maintenance. It takes a whole lot more work to look "presentable" as a female. No more rolling out of bed, not fixing/combing my hair, throwing on any old t-shirt and shorts and walking out the door.
oh well, not my problem , lesbian, kind of a low maint femme one
7. Becoming a member of the secret "women's club" where if you are alone in a room with another woman and 5 guys... the one woman will always want to start a conversation with me and suddenly want to be my best friend. Hair, clothes, make-up, whatever... sometimes people will find the most common and innocuous stuff to start a long boring conversation about.
I don't get this, I hated talking to the "boys stuff, I love being part of the women's stuff, just joined even more women's stuff. Every chance I get I do this it is just part of what makes being a woman fun!
8. Perception and stereotypes. Just because you may look like the average 20s-something chick doesn't mean I automatically like all the same things every other 20s-something chick does... like music, fun stuff to do, clubs and expectations. Everyone is different, and a book doesn't always match it's cover. Every person is different.

Quote from: Serena Lynn on May 22, 2013, 06:15:32 PM
The thing I hate is eyebrow maintenance it truly sucks. Everything else I adore.

I had mine done with electrolysis, practically zero maintenance now, one or two stray hairs a month  ;D  sure it hurts but wow, worth it!


I hate fearing for my safety all the time

I hate that it is assumed I am stupid or uneducated when I do practically anything unless it is like cooking, cleaning or sewing.

Quote from: JennX on May 22, 2013, 04:05:22 PM
7. Becoming a member of the secret "women's club" where if you are alone in a room with another woman and 5 guys... the one woman will always want to start a conversation with me and suddenly want to be my best friend. Hair, clothes, make-up, whatever... sometimes people will find the most common and innocuous stuff to start a long boring conversation about.

I would practically kill to have this. I'm sick of a life where women keep their distance and don't see me as one of them. I know it's not likely, but I dream of a future where I pass well enough so that this happens to me.

I love being a girl, but what I do hate, is the clothes are more expensive..

JulieR move to Blackpool,snot rockets will have you thought of as posh!

Shopping: I hate shopping for woman's clothes.  It's an hour to find a shirt that fits (or I pay full price and THAT gets expensive).  It's several hours for a pair of shoes. 

Makeup and Hair: I've always hated looking in the mirror. Now, it isn't so bad and one day, I will actually enjoy it. 

Safety:  Unless they have a gun or there are more than three or they really know how to fight, I'm not worried. (Same then, same now)

Shaving:  Laser is sounding better and better....

Being felt up:  I do hate "accidently" getting felt up while dancing.  I know how to dance as a male, they know how to dance or I wouldn't be dancing with them so..."What is that hand doing on my breast?"

Breasts:  I love my breasts...but they are sore right now and they never will be basketballs or squeeze toys.  Please play with them accordingly.

Oh no!!

I just noticed there are way more posts here than on the "things I love about being a girl" thread  :(

Quote from: Michelle G on May 23, 2013, 03:49:41 PM
Oh no!!

I just noticed there are way more posts here than on the "things I love about being a girl" thread  :(

I think it's because a noob to the forum started that thread......d*mn noobs lol jk.

pockets pockets pockets, ok i do actually like carrying a purse, but there are still many times i think i wish i had pockets and well women's clothing seem to have a lack of pockets even those that look like they do are only fashion pockets.

Honestly, I just find pockets uncomfortable and not very useful. Right now their only use is for my phone, and once I get a decent purse with a distinct, easy access pocket for it, they'll officially be useless. Big pockets in guys' clothes just get in the way, and look ridiculous if you forget to push them down after putting your pants on.

"Things I HATE about being a girl..."   ...  even after my recent ....  Umm  ..'entanglement' with a clothes rack.






Uzi-does it kariann330       IMI Girls have more fun.  LOL  ;)

• Having to curtail my vacation travel habits, where I used to just fly to megacities like Tokyo or Seoul on my own and go exploring. Probably one of the hardest things to give up.
• Seconding the clothing size point. Size M = something size 36 or 38 or 40, S = 34 or 36 or 38 --- eh? What? ??? (and don't even get me started on bras)
• Misogyny. The feminist in me has always ranted and raved at some of the advertisements and general stupidity out there, but now I have become even more sensitive to it, in particular when thinking about my future career. Oh, and mansplaining...

Not actually too hung up on the makeup piece, as daily makeup would be very, very light touch, while making yourself up for the evening is something where I don't mind investing time. :)
Oh, and I've always taken at least an hour to get ready in the morning, so no real change there... (drove my ex-GF nuts) ;D

I don't have much to go on as far as hating being a girl since I haven't started HRT yet but what fears me is my height I am 6'4" I can fit into women's size 12 shoes and women's size 13 heels. I fear that HRT fat distribution will cause my feet to be bigger and it will be almost impossible to find shoes I like that fit me. Same with my Cloths at 6'4" my cloths selection will be limited and can't find anything I want to go with my style.Dresses don't bother me without long sleeves I can fit into a size 10 it won't go down to my ankles but it looks good. long sleeve blouses and pants are my concern. Also I am very convincing when I am in "male form" at 6'4" will I be able to pass as a beautiful woman or will I look like a mammoth freak? I plan to do all the necessary surgeries to ensure I am as beautiful as I can possibly be but there is nothing that can be done about my height.

Well to get a little more back on subject, i hat that i still have a unibrow and how much harder texting is now that i have nails

Quote from: misschievous on May 24, 2013, 06:58:36 AM
I don't have much to go on as far as hating being a girl since I haven't started HRT yet but what fears me is my height I am 6'4" I can fit into women's size 12 shoes and women's size 13 heels. I fear that HRT fat distribution will cause my feet to be bigger and it will be almost impossible to find shoes I like that fit me. Same with my Cloths at 6'4" my cloths selection will be limited and can't find anything I want to go with my style.Dresses don't bother me without long sleeves I can fit into a size 10 it won't go down to my ankles but it looks good. long sleeve blouses and pants are my concern. Also I am very convincing when I am in "male form" at 6'4" will I be able to pass as a beautiful woman or will I look like a mammoth freak? I plan to do all the necessary surgeries to ensure I am as beautiful as I can possibly be but there is nothing that can be done about my height.

Well, if you're going to get ffs done as well as go on hrt, then I'm sure you'll end up being beautiful. You'll just be really tall, that's all!

Thanks Kyh I think the same thing just does worry me sometimes and there are quite a few cis tall women living around here. It does worry me about the shoes and clothing though I don't want to be limited on my fashion but it is something I know I will have to live with. I will adapt.  ;)

Quote from: misschievous on May 24, 2013, 06:58:36 AM
I don't have much to go on as far as hating being a girl since I haven't started HRT yet but what fears me is my height I am 6'4" I can fit into women's size 12 shoes and women's size 13 heels. I fear that HRT fat distribution will cause my feet to be bigger and it will be almost impossible to find shoes I like that fit me. Same with my Cloths at 6'4" my cloths selection will be limited and can't find anything I want to go with my style.Dresses don't bother me without long sleeves I can fit into a size 10 it won't go down to my ankles but it looks good. long sleeve blouses and pants are my concern. Also I am very convincing when I am in "male form" at 6'4" will I be able to pass as a beautiful woman or will I look like a mammoth freak? I plan to do all the necessary surgeries to ensure I am as beautiful as I can possibly be but there is nothing that can be done about my height.

Before HRT I was 6'2"... I lost 2 inches in height in 3 years (documented by my endocrinologist). It can happen. Even at 6' now I have zero trouble passing. My shoe size also went down 1 size too. So don't worry too much until after a few years on HRT.

Quote from: misschievous on May 24, 2013, 08:12:50 AM
Thanks Kyh I think the same thing just does worry me sometimes and there are quite a few cis tall women living around here. It does worry me about the shoes and clothing though I don't want to be limited on my fashion but it is something I know I will have to live with. I will adapt.  ;)

If being a tall girl ever gets to be too much for you, you can move to the Netherlands or one of the Scandinavian countries hehehe :P

Quote from: kyh on May 24, 2013, 08:23:42 AM
If being a tall girl ever gets to be too much for you, you can move to the Netherlands or one of the Scandinavian countries hehehe :P

Now there's a positive solution.  :icon_mrgreen:

I'm okay with being me.. but...

...it's got to be said...

Handbags (purses in the States?)

What is it with handbags?

Why is it that whatever handbag I use has some secret system of organization which appears to read my mind and hide the one thing I'm looking for?

It doesn't matter whether it's my keys, tissues, my purse, or mobile phone. Either I have to ferret around looking for it or have to take everything out one by one to find it.

It always seems to hide my mobile phone when it's ringing and then let me find it the moment I have 'Missed Call' on the screen.

Thanks JennX I really hope that happens to me especially the shoe size I have a CIS friend who wears size 11 and she has a whole closet full of very pretty shoes. The height would be great too at 6'1 I would fit in great.

Quote from: StellaB on May 24, 2013, 08:35:02 AM
I'm okay with being me.. but...

...it's got to be said...

Handbags (purses in the States?)

What is it with handbags?

Why is it that whatever handbag I use has some secret system of organization which appears to read my mind and hide the one thing I'm looking for?

It doesn't matter whether it's my keys, tissues, my purse, or mobile phone. Either I have to ferret around looking for it or have to take everything out one by one to find it.

It always seems to hide my mobile phone when it's ringing and then let me find it the moment I have 'Missed Call' on the screen.

It is that way with everything. Ever look around the house for a Phillips Screwdriver and you keep finding flatheads? Then once you find one they keep popping up everywhere?

I'm like a few others, I'm not on HRT and haven't transitioned so I don't have anything to hate about being a girl.

I do hate NOT being a girl. I think what I would hate though would be not having a natural-born vagina that's fully functional. Not being able to have a period every month, ovulate and have babies. That's something I've always wished I could do and experience. Also, not being about 38-42D or DD like my ex-wife is. Being able to naturally breastfeed my babies, that would have been a nice thing to have been born able to do.

So yea, I hate just not being a natural born female and living all these years as a male. But I guess the having to get ready an hour ahead of time might would be annoying sometimes. Or trying to find clothes that I felt looked good on me because I'd be like most girls and THINK that I was fat when I would really just be sexy. Yea, being a guy sucks.

Quote from: StellaB on May 24, 2013, 08:35:02 AM
I'm okay with being me.. but...

...it's got to be said...

Handbags (purses in the States?)

What is it with handbags?

Why is it that whatever handbag I use has some secret system of organization which appears to read my mind and hide the one thing I'm looking for?

It doesn't matter whether it's my keys, tissues, my purse, or mobile phone. Either I have to ferret around looking for it or have to take everything out one by one to find it.

It always seems to hide my mobile phone when it's ringing and then let me find it the moment I have 'Missed Call' on the screen.

It's easy to keep things organized in a purse if you have a couple different small bags for the most important things. For example, you could have a black bag for your makeup, a white case for your phone, and a red drawstring bag for your keys + loose change. :P

Quote from: KaylaW on May 24, 2013, 08:40:10 AM
I'm like a few others, I'm not on HRT and haven't transitioned so I don't have anything to hate about being a girl.

I do hate NOT being a girl. I think what I would hate though would be not having a natural-born vagina that's fully functional. Not being able to have a period every month, ovulate and have babies. That's something I've always wished I could do and experience. Also, not being about 38-42D or DD like my ex-wife is. Being able to naturally breastfeed my babies, that would have been a nice thing to have been born able to do.

So yea, I hate just not being a natural born female and living all these years as a male. But I guess the having to get ready an hour ahead of time might would be annoying sometimes. Or trying to find clothes that I felt looked good on me because I'd be like most girls and THINK that I was fat when I would really just be sexy. Yea, being a guy sucks.

I agree with you 100% Kayla I want my own babies and not have to have my (EWW) sperm put into someones eggs and they go through child birth  :'( I want the experience of having a baby growing inside me I wanted to go through the "Right of Passage" to becoming a woman. I wish I would have known as much as I do now about transgender and Hormones when I was 8 and I could have explained it to my parents and gotten SRS before Puberty. So I would have grown as a woman not as a man. I wish I would have spoke up when I was a child wondering off into the girls clothing department when my mom took me "Back to School Shopping" and said "This dress is what I want to wear"

No necessarily a bad thing but how is that wearing much less (a bikini) to the beach takes longer to get ready and that extra bag of stuff??

Quote from: StellaB on May 24, 2013, 08:35:02 AM

What is it with handbags?

Funny how some people's hate is other people's like. I love having a purse, putting everything I need into one bag so there is only one thing to grab when it's time to go.

Quote from: suzifrommd on May 24, 2013, 10:15:38 AM
Funny how some people's hate is other people's like. I love having a purse, putting everything I need into one bag so there is only one thing to grab when it's time to go.

Or only one thing to grab when someone wants your stuff...

Purses are pretty convenient for long days where you need to carry lots of things, but pockets are more convenient for smaller loads. IMO.

I normally carry a purse, but if I'm walking on the beach, woods, the purse goes in the trunk and my phone/keys/id go in my phone bag

I think purse is a general term, while handbag is more specific. In my mind at least, purse includes anything that had the function of a purse: handbag, shoulder bag, tote bag, messenger bag, etc. while handbag is more limited to bags that are held in the hand.

Anyway, I love purses, because you can just carryit and know you have everything you might ever need in it. Pockets, you have to decide on a day-to-day basis what you're gonna need in your day, and I dunno about you, but for me that's a guarantee I'll forget something important. Besides it's just such an awesome upgrade on what you can carry. However would you carry tissues, moisturizer, an umbrella, lip balm, a wallet, spare hair stuff, a snack and such without one? Seriously, I'd never go out without my purse again, except maybe if I go out strictly for a walk. I feel naked without it.

Not to mention purses are an absolute protection against forgetting things in your pockets and washing them, causing annoyance at best; a disaster laundry load at worst.

I carry a bag like this:

(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1056.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Ft372%2Fdedalus3333%2Fduffel-1.jpg&hash=0b5a676c710b0a1bd3c3e58eccd3daae49b5eb33) (http://s1056.photobucket.com/user/dedalus3333/media/duffel-1.jpg.html)

It's a little big and a duffel but I think it serves the puprose of being cute and convenient. These woman the other day was all "OMG I love your pocketbook girl." I love when women compliment my style and call me a girl, obviously.

Pardon the interruption. We have moved the concealed weapon discussion to a Guns/shooting thread in the Hobbies section. You may discuss your artillery to your heart's content here:

https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,125818.msg1146299.html#msg1146299 (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,125818.msg1146299.html#msg1146299)

Thank you, hugs, Devlyn

I run around with a Wheaton College tote. Works well enough, and confuses the heck out of anyone who knows that college's religious focus. :)

And just like that, 'things I HATE' is 'things I LOVE' instead. :)

Quote from: Devlyn Marie on May 24, 2013, 12:39:04 PM
Pardon the interruption. We have moved the concealed weapon discussion to a Guns/shooting thread in the Hobbies section. You may discuss your artillery to your heart's content here:

https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,125818.msg1146299.html#msg1146299 (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,125818.msg1146299.html#msg1146299)

Thank you, hugs, Devlyn

I love the irony that people were talking about hiding something under your skirt that is long and hard without anybody finding out so you don't cause a commotion lol it's too rich!

Quote from: Joanna Dark on May 24, 2013, 01:29:01 PM
I love the irony that people were talking about hiding something under your skirt that is long and hard without anybody finding out so you don't cause a commotion lol it's too rich!

I'm so jealous I didn't think of that!

Quote from: Devlyn Marie on May 24, 2013, 01:32:22 PM
I'm so jealous I didn't think of that!

So, is that an Uzi in your pocket, or...? XD

Quote from: Devlyn Marie on May 24, 2013, 12:39:04 PM
Pardon the interruption. We have moved the concealed weapon discussion to a Guns/shooting thread in the Hobbies section. You may discuss your artillery to your heart's content here:

https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,125818.msg1146299.html#msg1146299 (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,125818.msg1146299.html#msg1146299)

Thank you, hugs, Devlyn

Snickers.........  R, F, DPICM in effect, 5 rounds, out....       ..still nothing I hate about being a girl... :)

Quote from: JennX on May 22, 2013, 04:05:22 PM
5. Money. It costs a whole lot more to be a girl. Clothes, make-up, hair stuff, underwear, et al are all stuff you have to spend a lot more money on.

I wonder if you could ask for a cost-of-living raise when you go full time to balance this out...?

Lol, I doubt it. People generally disregard the silly difference in prices and say it doesn't exist or is attributable solely to buying more things (bra, make-up, etc.) At least it's not like that for everything. Underwear for example. In male underwear, the only thing I ever found decent was Snob, because it didn't have a silly front pocket for genitals that made them ridiculously jiggle around, loose legs that let genitals slide into them or a large bare elastic that cut through my skin. Those are pretty expensive, at over 20 $ a pair of boxers. In comparison when quickly taking a look there didn't seem to be anything wrong with girls' panties and boyshorts at less than 10 $ each.

Quote from: A on May 24, 2013, 03:23:35 PM
Lol, I doubt it. People generally disregard the silly difference in prices and say it doesn't exist or is attributable solely to buying more things (bra, make-up, etc.) At least it's not like that for everything. Underwear for example. In male underwear, the only thing I ever found decent was Snob, because it didn't have a silly front pocket for genitals that made them ridiculously jiggle around, loose legs that let genitals slide into them or a large bare elastic that cut through my skin. Those are pretty expensive, at over 20 $ a pair of boxers. In comparison when quickly taking a look there didn't seem to be anything wrong with girls' panties and boyshorts at less than 10 $ each.

But if you want anything lacy... $_$

Yeah, but all the same, if you want anything "cool" as a guy you have to pay up. You know, those prints of cartoon characters, for example, that are popular in guys.

Quote from: Anna! on May 24, 2013, 03:10:00 PM
I wonder if you could ask for a cost-of-living raise when you go full time to balance this out...?

Probably not... However I will be getting a large tax refund next year due to to deducting my SRS and all related expenses (travel, food, hotel, etc).

Quote from: Anna! on May 24, 2013, 03:10:00 PM
I wonder if you could ask for a cost-of-living raise when you go full time to balance this out...?

Well do CIS women get a higher Cost of Living pay to balance out the difference between what men buy and women? It might be expensive to buy what you want as far as makeup ect but there are cheap ways around it Dollar General for instance. Thrift stores ect.

Something I forgot on the original list

Getting paid 70 cents on the Dollar

Making a suggestion in a meeting, having it go flat, only to have a man make the same suggestion 20 minutes later and have everyone think it is a GREAT IDEA!

Quote from: vegie271 on May 24, 2013, 05:48:01 PMGetting paid 70 cents on the Dollar. ..... Making a suggestion in a meeting, having it go flat, only to have a man make the same suggestion 20 minutes later and have everyone think it is a GREAT IDEA!

That's what drove me crazy when I first transitioned in 1974. When I retired in 2012 it was only marginally better.

Isn't being paid 30% less related to more women doing less paid jobs, that men wouldn't get more for if they chose them? I seriously don't think anyone can pay a woman less than a man for the same job without having the court after them.

I have also wondered the same thing. Most servers are women and minimum wage in this area for servers are 2.13/hr. Most department stores hire more women for cashier and sales at minimum wage. The men get hired more for Stocking and unloading trucks which is usually a hire pay rate.

I believe that an employer can be taken to task in regards to minimum wage laws

QuoteIn any state with a minimum wage of lower then the current Federal Minimum Wage of $7.25/hr, the Federal Minimum Wage will take precedent.

United States Minimum Wage By State 2013 | Minimum-Wage.org (http://www.minimum-wage.org/wage-by-state.asp)

As a woman I don't like how I am not able to go about the same way men do. When you are a woman you always have to be on the lookout of how you can be harmed, threatened, or taken advantage of by men. This is definitely not something I had to think about when I was male, but is always something I am aware of as a woman. Going jogging, hiking alone, running an errand in the dark, etc., this awareness is always there...

V M: 2.13 $/h is pretty inhuman, but that aside, I don't know about the US, but here, there are two minimum wages: the normal one, and the one for people who can get tips. It's something like 10 $/h normal and 8 $/h with tip, I think. Maybe this is why what misschievous is describing happens.

Megan S: Depends, depends. People have some sort of inherent respect for women; not for men. In my experience it's more risky to be a "furshlugginer gay ->-bleeped-<-got" (yes that's very gay) than a woman. Especially ugly woman. Let's not lie to ourselves: a lot of the attacks on women are motivated by their looks.

misschievous: Pssst, waiter/waitress, not server! Server is a machine! :p By the way, are you of French origin? Because that sounds like a mistake us French people do. o:








Edited for profanity

Kia Ora,

Re: "Things I HATE about being a girl...
"

::) You can always 'de-transition' and all your problems will be solved  ;) ;D


Metta Zenda :)

Actually A most prefer being called servers as in food servers.  Kind of like being a postal carrier vs. Mailman.

Ms. OBrien CVT: Oh, I stand corrected. My usual dictionary didn't bring that up, but by searching I discovered that in the US it could also be extended to restaurant people.

Quote from: A on May 24, 2013, 10:11:03 PM
Isn't being paid 30% less related to more women doing less paid jobs, that men wouldn't get more for if they chose them? I seriously don't think anyone can pay a woman less than a man for the same job without having the court after them.

I am afraid it still happens even though it should NOT, women get passed over for promotions, they get less in a raise, they get less respect in each position, there are book written about this, they are trying to make laws to protect women but even then how to you prove it, no one sits and says "hey joe how much do you make"? the proof was when a woman retired and found out that she had been paid so much less that every other executive at the same company she work at an equal level to. and it goes around to many companies not just one.

Quote from: vegie271 on May 25, 2013, 01:47:41 AM

I am afraid it still happens even though it should NOT, women get passed over for promotions, they get less in a raise, they get less respect in each position, there are book written about this, they are trying to make laws to protect women but even then how to you prove it, no one sits and says "hey joe how much do you make"? the proof was when a woman retired and found out that she had been paid so much less that every other executive at the same company she work at an equal level to. and it goes around to many companies not just one.

I get the feeling that this is a USA phenomena, wages here are the same for the same job. No arguments, no questions.

Quote from: Madison_dawn on May 23, 2013, 07:34:00 PM
pockets pockets pockets, ok i do actually like carrying a purse, but there are still many times i think i wish i had pockets and well women's clothing seem to have a lack of pockets even those that look like they do are only fashion pockets.

What is it with women's pants having non-functional pockets??? If someone had told me this years ago, I may have never thought of transitioning :D

vegie271, Cindy.: Yeah, here the problem is there, but it's residual As in, 20 years ago, there were only men in well-paid posts, and only men got promotions, and now, well, those people are still alive.

That's what I thought, yeah. However it's not lies... Just, ya know, they show you the truth, but the truth that arranges them. :p

Quote from: Antonia J on May 25, 2013, 07:05:15 AM
What is it with women's pants having non-functional pockets??? If someone had told me this years ago, I may have never thought of transitioning :D

Back pockets hon.... OH and use the bra. I put my cell phone in there. It's kinda trendy to do actually.

What I hate about being a girl? When men seem to think all of my opinions are wrong and that they feel the need to disagree with me on everything and have a "better" suggestion than I have. I also don't like how unsafe I feel going out at night by myself.

Quote from: Alainaluvsu on May 25, 2013, 01:21:38 PM
Back pockets hon.... OH and use the bra. I put my cell phone in there. It's kinda trendy to do actually.

What I hate about being a girl? When men seem to think all of my opinions are wrong and that they feel the need to disagree with me on everything and have a "better" suggestion than I have. I also don't like how unsafe I feel going out at night by myself.

not all back pockets are real pockets either and the bra works unless your cellphone is a galaxy note, but ive used the bra a lot almost as convient as my breast pockets as a guy.

as for night time im worried about day time, went to pick up my bus ticket to mississippi and guy was trying to pick me up and was full of alchohol.

I'll never understand why so many girls bitch about not being able to get up and out of the house in minutes.

I wear a little bit of make up, most of the time I'm without it.

Yesterday morning it took me 15 minutes from wake to car.
Hair tried back, jeans, tanktop, cardi, flats, & jacket.

Things I dislike is crying when I get mad or have someone being nasty. I can handle a lot of things, but sometimes the emotions win out.

dirty restrooms & lining up for so bloody long to use it.

bitchiness from other females.
This is one thing I'll never understand, why on earth are we so mean to one another. Men I find are a lot fairer to each other.

Getting my hair done.
my best male friend gets his hair cut, styled & dyed. it costs him $100, I get my hair cut it costs me $250.

Fear.
I'm not a fearful person, in fact I could walk home at 3am and not have a worry in the world, but I hear of a rape, a female being attacked or worst, murdered I get get a sense of fear.

The "oh I'll help you" thinking because I'm female.
Yes its nice to offer, but I hate people who asume that I can't do something because I'm female.
I get it with computer software like photoshop, I get it with opening jars, I get it when I need to change my tyre. (Mum made sure I at least knew how to change a tyre when I got my car).


While I don't like these things, I wouldn't change it for the world.

Quote from: Alainaluvsu on May 25, 2013, 01:21:38 PM
Back pockets hon.... OH and use the bra. I put my cell phone in there. It's kinda trendy to do actually.

What I hate about being a girl? When men seem to think all of my opinions are wrong and that they feel the need to disagree with me on everything and have a "better" suggestion than I have. I also don't like how unsafe I feel going out at night by myself.

A designer I have shot for once told me that the pockets are design to hold the butt in a sexy place.
One of the reasons you should always try on a pair of jeans before buying.

Some jeans the zipper is on one side and then on another pair its on another side. Pockets on jeans tend to be smaller. And zippers on low rise pants are shorter. Don't hate it but find it more annoying than anything else. And the cost of make-up and make-up remover lord could be cheaper. However that being said my BB cream from rimmel only cost me about 7 or so bucks at walmart. My powder fx cost me around 50 bucks at the drug store so go fig LOL.

I hate how white shows more then it used to, wear the wrong color bra and everyone can see it, wear the wrong color panties and every one can see them, white capris with a thong, wear the wrong color and everyone can see it....hell even when you manage to hide a bra or your panties cuz you grabbed the right colors and suddenly every guy think you aren't wearing any.

I dont care about having smaller pockets, because I never really stuffed them anyway. I am a bit addicted to the EDC approach (sapienti sat), which when not going into extremities is kinda useful and I mostly stuffed all my things in my messenger bag or backpack. Though I am starting to shun backpacks quite recently, or until at least I can get myself something more slender and neutral than desert tan basis +  5.11/Maxpedition Molle pouches... Sighs.... Very useful and the bag itself is twice as big as it looks from outside, but... conceptually it is very far from anything remotely feminine concept :(.

Quote from: Alainaluvsu on May 25, 2013, 01:21:38 PM
I also don't like how unsafe I feel going out at night by myself.

Taking a boxing/kick-boxing/Muay Thai/other martial art course would alleviate this anxiety a bit. A bit of contact sparring and some training goes a long way in improving confidence and the ability to defend oneself if the situation arises.

Quote from: Nicole on May 27, 2013, 07:27:16 PM
I'll never understand why so many girls bitch about not being able to get up and out of the house in minutes.

Yesterday morning it took me 15 minutes from wake to car.
Hair tried back, jeans, tanktop, cardi, flats, & jacket.

Not everyone can pull off this look. This is much further diminished when you also count the number of people who can, but won't, because of a poor self-image.

Quote from: kariann330 on May 27, 2013, 09:16:10 PM
I hate how white shows more then it used to, wear the wrong color bra and everyone can see it, wear the wrong color panties and every one can see them, white capris with a thong, wear the wrong color and everyone can see it....hell even when you manage to hide a bra or your panties cuz you grabbed the right colors and suddenly every guy think you aren't wearing any.

Yeah, thinner clothes are really annoying... I'm not a big show-off, and neither are most of the girls that I know, but female fashion these days makes it frustratingly inconvenient to buy and put together a simple outfit that doesn't put everything on display. I'll probably have to make my own clothes if I want to put together my ideal wardrobe.

Quote from: Nicole on May 27, 2013, 07:27:16 PM
I'll never understand why so many girls bitch about not being able to get up and out of the house in minutes.

I wear a little bit of make up, most of the time I'm without it.

Well... I like make-up and I'm somewhat of a perfectionist. So...  :P

I also have long curly hair half-way down my back... it takes me 15 minutes just to fix my hair.

Quote from: JennX on May 22, 2013, 04:05:22 PM
3. Getting treated like a 5 year old child... by mechanics, repair guys, or even some guys on dates that go: "Do you know how the game of football works? Do you even know how to keep score?" Then proceed to start explaining it to me like I'm their 5 year old child... hell I played the game for 6 years... I have an idea. Girls don't ever follow sports?

Some girls certainly do follow sports. Just not this one. I know very little about cars or sports. Football talk goes over my head and I have no interest in understanding, but more power to those that do I say. Also there are plenty of guys that don't follow sports like my dad. Being interested sports has nothing to do with gender and yet most people think it does.

Aside from that comment I don't have anything to add. As for the most part I'm still learning how and what it means to be a female.

Quote from: Kelly J. P. on May 28, 2013, 09:40:29 AM
Taking a boxing/kick-boxing/Muay Thai/other martial art course would alleviate this anxiety a bit. A bit of contact sparring and some training goes a long way in improving confidence and the ability to defend oneself if the situation arises.

I can defend myself easily but I'm still small and will look like a target no matter what.

If anybody ever says going to football games is something that women don't do, go to a Saints game. That'll shut you up about it, lol!

Quote from: Alainaluvsu on May 28, 2013, 03:02:41 PM
I can defend myself easily but I'm still small and will look like a target no matter what.

I do feel small at times....but mostly around men. I always did feel this way even when a man and if the men were the same size.

I now feel the same but feel so much bigger then most girls.....I feel like I'm smaller even petite around men...but then I'm around a woman the same size as me and I feel huge. I know I'm not huge, I've seen myself in mirrors compared to other women (at gym) and we look equal....I just can't seem to get it out of my head.

I do try to remember who I am and what size I am when out in the dark alone!

For comparison sake how big are you??

I am 5'6 1/2" 125...smaller boned (if I was a man :)) maybe medium boned (woman) small head, hands and feet.

 I'm roughly 5'4" and 100lbs. Tiny bones, too. If someone decides to be violent against me, I'd probably be screwed in most situations, regardless of any training I'd have. The one advantage of being this small, though, is that the groin isn't too hard to punch if my attacker is 6' tall!

I'll probably have to make a habit of carrying a knife around, but I live in a pretty peaceful area, so it hasn't been a huge concern for the present.

5'3" 135 IDK how I'm not fat because of my weight, but I think my bones are just heavy. I only feel big compared to girls when they're in their early 20s. There's plenty of women my age that are larger than me in the shoulders and even in muscles. I never felt vulnerable as a guy... actually I knew I was safe. Now, I have to worry about every random creepy guy that asks for my name or some crap like that.

Quote from: kyh on May 28, 2013, 03:06:03 PM
Football can be super fun to watch though, especially if you watch it live at the stadium. I've seen the BC lions like 5 times. I went with my dad. I think if you go to a game, you'll have lots of fun and gain interest in the sport.

I've been to some sports events. I went to a blackhawks game with my dad and brother when I was young only because he got the tickets for free from a colleague. It was kind of fun just being there, with the festive atmosphere of it I guess. If I do anything with sports involved I would do it just for the social aspect of it. Again my dad doesn't really care about sports ether. My twin brother, however loves sports. The ones he follows are football and baseball.

Quote from: girl you look fierce on May 28, 2013, 03:13:31 PM
Yeah I can enjoy sports games w/ the right company :) and I HATE sports lol.

I'm totally with you.  :)

There are lot's of sporty girls about including me, although I don't get into it as much as I use to  8)   I notice that guys tend to be impressed when you have a working knowledge of the game at hand... But they don't like it if you are able to 'out sport' them so it's good to kinda play dumb sometimes  :laugh:

I like football. I think I started really getting into it the last few years. I don't care for basketball and my family is really big into it, they keep trying to talk to me about it, like I care. They do the same with Baseball and Racing but they know I hate those sports.

I never cared for sports ,except for football, all my life. I rarely ever watched football until recently. I think it was to fit in with people I worked with. They talk about sports all the time, but in doing so I really like it now.

Quote from: kyh on May 28, 2013, 03:06:03 PM
And one more thing I hate about being a girl... I have to remove my makeup everyday at the end of the day... I'm too lazy... I just wanna sleep! >_<

That's the worst! I always forget or am already in bed and just won't get up. It's horrible and I know it's bad and clogs your pores.

Quote from: misschievous on May 28, 2013, 04:18:11 PM
I like football. I think I started really getting into it the last few years. I don't care for basketball and my family is really big into it, they keep trying to talk to me about it, like I care. They do the same with Baseball and Racing but they know I hate those sports.

I never cared for sports ,except for football, all my life. I rarely ever watched football until recently. I think it was to fit in with people I worked with. They talk about sports all the time, but in doing so I really like it now.

LOL... I don't care much for basketball, but know plenty of folks that love the game so I'll loosely kinda follow the stats of their favorite team for conversation sake

I use to be really into baseball and football and would follow the stats religiously, but that was because I'd bet on the games (Actually did pretty well with it)

Quote from: kyh on May 28, 2013, 03:06:03 PM

And one more thing I hate about being a girl... I have to remove my makeup everyday at the end of the day... I'm too lazy... I just wanna sleep! >_<

Washing my face before bed is just one of my habits , so removing the makeup is just part of the deal for me  :)

I was never into competitive sports either - watching or participating - just dont get the idea :). Last time there was a small meeting at my place and guys decided that watching an ice-hockey game would be a good idea, it ended with me as supplying them with hot wine and snacks, cause I just could not sit down there and mindlessly zone into TV :P.

Quote from: Kelly J. P. on May 28, 2013, 03:18:51 PM
I'm roughly 5'4" and 100lbs. Tiny bones, too. If someone decides to be violent against me, I'd probably be screwed in most situations, regardless of any training I'd have. The one advantage of being this small, though, is that the groin isn't too hard to punch if my attacker is 6' tall!

I'll probably have to make a habit of carrying a knife around, but I live in a pretty peaceful area, so it hasn't been a huge concern for the present.

As a woman I now carry a stun gun and I hate that I have to do this

as man I ever even had to consider my safety even at night, now I can't go out at night, I am only 5' 4" 130  very vulnerable

I love sport, always have and always will.

Give me a good game of football and a race at the horse races over a day shopping anyday.

Quote from: kyh on May 28, 2013, 03:06:03 PM
And one more thing I hate about being a girl... I have to remove my makeup everyday at the end of the day... I'm too lazy... I just wanna sleep! >_<

It's 10:10PM EST... and I still have mine on after finishing a 15 mile bike ride. Need to take care of that asap.  ;D

Right after the end of the Tampa Rays / Miami Marlins game.  ;)

Big baseball fan here.

I agree on the sports thing, minus 3 Gun competitions, most sports seem to all be the same to me....oooo he is running with a ball...oooo he scored, now we go the othe way!!!! Yeah no lol. At least hockey occasionally has someone getting punched in the face but it's still the same all in all. Now 3 gun is a fun sport.....running full tilt and shooting targets.

I agree about the creepy guy thing. That's one thing about being a girl that I really hate. But that's why I like mace and my taser. If a guy does not understand no means no I soy them like my dad said too

Quote from: Miss Bungle on May 29, 2013, 12:28:27 AM
I don't worry about it. I'm 5'5" ish and not the slimmest chick around. (I've actually seen friggin teenage girls that are taller than I am.) but I don't worry about myself when I am out and about. I could take care of myself if the situation arose. It hasn't happened yet and I hope that it never does BUT the poor idiot that actually attempts to do anything to me is going to regret it.

You said THIS in response to me carrying a stun gun, the reason I bought the stun gun I because I was raped and beaten within an inch of my life by a man who was exactly my size But Men have the advantage of being men.

I ended up spending 12 hours unconscious in the hospital before then recovering in the hospital and then coming home to try and report the crime to the police only to have them make a joke of the whole thing.

Seriously, I've never seen or heard of such risks that would require carrying a weapon... This is going to sound stupid, but do you need to do something special to put yourself at risk like that? Like, I dunno, walking alone, almost naked, in the middle of the night, in a scary back alley, and throwing insults at dangerous-looking people? oo' I'm not trying to say everyone is being careless or anything; I just want to illustrate how little danger I feel, and understand where that danger (or at the very least perceived danger) everyone on this forum seems to feel comes from.

Quote from: A on May 29, 2013, 08:58:16 AM
Seriously, I've never seen or heard of such risks that would require carrying a weapon... This is going to sound stupid, but do you need to do something special to put yourself at risk like that? Like, I dunno, walking alone, almost naked, in the middle of the night, in a scary back alley, and throwing insults at dangerous-looking people? oo' I'm not trying to say everyone is being careless or anything; I just want to illustrate how little danger I feel, and understand where that danger (or at the very least perceived danger) everyone on this forum seems to feel comes from.

DID YOU NOT READ WHAT I SAID? I WAS RAPED! IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DAY! it  was 12:30 in the afternoon on a sunday. I was 1 and 1/2 blocks away from home walking towards the store. Minding my own business when this man walked up to me and started talking to me, he puts his hand around my shoulder, then the next thing I know, my shorts are being torn off and he sees that I am not  cis gendered and he starts beating the tar out of me!

BESIDES when does anyone have the right to attack a woman EVER in any situation!. Is the rape culture a good thing?







Edited for profanity.

Quote from: vegie271 on May 29, 2013, 09:20:28 AM



DID YOU NOT READ WHAT I SAID? I WAS RAPED! IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DAY! it  was 12:30 in the afternoon on a sunday. I was 1 and 1/2 blocks away from home walking towards the store. Minding my own business when this man walked up to me and started talking to me, he puts his hand around my shoulder, then the next thing I know, my shorts are being torn off and he sees that I am not  cis gendered and he starts beating the tar out of me!

BESIDES when does anyone have the right to attack a woman EVER in any situation!. Is the rape culture a good thing?

Nobody has the right. And no rapist cares. The culture isn't so much the issue as that some men are sick puppies. I say, any amount of retribution we can give - whether it be mace, taser, or bullets - is well deserved by these champions of the phrase 'vile disgusting scurvy dog'.

*cough* Pardon the language. I don't generally use sailor speech. *cough*









Edited for profanity.

Yeah that's true. Safer to go out now as we are. Woman . But I def don't like that about being a woman that some guys feel the need to try and take things from us just because we dress a little sexy or just because they feel they can. Don't like the not being on the same strength level as the guys since the hold so much strength over us.

I have to say, guys are starting to scare me. Most of them have ample power to overpower me if they wanted to, and you never know who might be a bad egg. That combination is scary, and I've started looking over my shoulder in parking lots. :(

Always being aware of your surroundings is good, being paranoid is bad.

If you spend too much time looking around and over your shoulder, you will bring attention to yourself and give the idea you are vulnerable.

Quote from: Miss Bungle on May 29, 2013, 10:54:23 AM
I wasn't responding to you at all. I didn't even read your post and I have idea who you are. There is no need for you to get angry with me.

My apologies then just a trigger

Quote from: A on May 29, 2013, 08:58:16 AM
I just want to illustrate how little danger I feel, and understand where that danger (or at the very least perceived danger) everyone on this forum seems to feel comes from.

You don't have to do anything special, just be in the wrong place at the wrong time. If you seriously don't feel danger or understand where it comes from, then you are either incredibly lucky in where you live, or really really need to take more care. When something happens to you, you realise that you have to watch out. I think most of us live in places where that stuff happens fairly regularly, but I suppose others might not. Incidence of violent attacks against trans folk is a lot higher and so I feel much more vulnerable when I am out. 

Firstly women gain a lot more attention on the street and there is a good chance that there can be problems when they realise that they are directing their attention to a MTF.

Is it a legitimate fear? Well, the fact being attacked by a gang of men has happened to me before, tells me it is. I don't even think that I live in a particularly bad area. But I don't know that many places that people don't get attacked, stabbed, killed and stuff; anywhere. I know some people who have never had it happen to them though and so they assume it doesn't and don't look for danger and take suitable action.

Just be safe.

I've never really liked the female fashion trend of not wearing any socks or hosiery. I mean, many shoes are fairly uncomfortable when it's just your foot against the inside of the shoe. I find myself cheating and sneaking socks under my boots and high tops a lot.

~ Lyric ~

I never wear socks with the main pair of shoes I wear. They would look silly with socks or pretty much anything. They are these cheeky flats from X-appeal.

.

Quote from: Steph21 ♡♡♡ on May 22, 2013, 05:09:21 PM
Being scared more.  I have to worry about my safety.

Being dominated.  Ok it's good in the bedroom,  but outside of that people shouldn't grab my arm when you want me to stay,  or physically move me around or give me orders.

I agree!

Quote from: girl you look fierce on May 29, 2013, 12:40:32 PM
Presenting male I felt very uncomfortable and unsafe. Just walking to the store in a pretty rich, low-crime county where I used to live I once had an empty bottle thrown at me from a car (they missed at least...) and another time some guys honked and yelled ->-bleeped-<-got.

I think part of it is that I used to be an easy target for guys, now they're kinda intimidated by me or at most they're neutral cause they treat women like children.

Yeah I think I feel a lot more safe and ironically get a lot less weird looks. I don't know if I have ever been targeted for it though I have been beat up several times but it's hard to say if it wasn't just because I am so small and a target. I think suburbs can be a lot worse then cities because people tend to be a lot more nosey and bored. In a city, it's so hectic people don't care as much and have better things to do. Plus cities tend to be more socially liberal.

Quote from: kyh on May 29, 2013, 12:56:27 PM
Omg yeah >_< Those kinds of guys HATE gay people, and hate feminine gay people even more. It's less dangerous to present as female instead of male in front of them, *if* they perceive you as just like any other girl. So far that's been the case for me, and I'm guessing it has been for you as well.

They do. I used to ask myself why they hate me so much. I thought I would be like hated exponentially more now but it is the most anti-climatic experience of my life lol and I get treated so much better.

I have edited several instances of profanity, and moved some more concealed weapons posts to the proper thread. (Hunting/Shooting) Please do not continue the weapons discussion in this thread. Thank you, hugs, Devlyn

Quote from: iiii on May 29, 2013, 12:46:49 PM
Can't you wear socks like this with them?
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.footwearetc.com%2F_resources%2F_global%2Fmedia%2Fresized%2F00135%2Fihwx.15fefd52-2333-4af4-bbac-c9046c60ab75.500.500.jpg&hash=4e1229cbec72e40623f0ceae0a7362e3bbafbefb)

I prob could yes. Thanks for the idea cause I am worried that they will start stinking and I love love love these shoes. They're so cute and they're plaid too!

Quote from: vegie271 on May 29, 2013, 09:20:28 AM



DID YOU NOT READ WHAT I SAID? I WAS RAPED! IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DAY! it  was 12:30 in the afternoon on a sunday. I was 1 and 1/2 blocks away from home walking towards the store. Minding my own business when this man walked up to me and started talking to me, he puts his hand around my shoulder, then the next thing I know, my shorts are being torn off and he sees that I am not  cis gendered and he starts beating the tar out of me!

BESIDES when does anyone have the right to attack a woman EVER in any situation!. Is the rape culture a good thing?

I'm very sorry. I had only very skimmed through your post, for one (it may not be a very nice thing to do, but I have a strong tendency to skip any post with a changed font and/or colour), and also, however irresponsible that kind of thinking might be, I just thought you were the super unlucky one in a million. I'm really sorry; I didn't mean to anger you.

Quote from: kyh on May 29, 2013, 10:46:10 AM
On the topic of feeling less safe going out as a girl...

I actually feel safer going out now, because I'm not seen as a feminine gay guy (which so many guys in my neighbourhood hate and would bother me for) anymore. Now I'm just a 'regular' person minding her own business.

Uh-huh! I completely agree. The only times I was insulted or otherwise disrespected in my whole life were when I was still supposed to be a guy. Now I'm kind of in an in-between stage, still, but I see a clear difference.

The only times I was disrespected in the last months were when a passerby read me as male and called me a ->-bleeped-<-ing ->-bleeped-<-got behind my back, and when I ran out in a hurry, when it was over 25 degrees, making the horrible mistake of wearing but a t-shirt on my upper body. For pretty much the first time of my life, I had very weird looks that made me feel like dying right on the spot.

Right now, my somewhat girly face, long hair and lower body very much contrast with my masculine upper body, absence of breasts and big, hairy arms I'm not doing anything about because professional waxing is so expensive and needs to be done so often, and my dexterity doesn't allow me to do it myself. A coat in the summer when it's 25 degrees? Hell yeah! >_> My life sucks.

Quote from: Steph21 ♡♡♡ on May 29, 2013, 11:26:11 AM
You don't have to do anything special, just be in the wrong place at the wrong time. If you seriously don't feel danger or understand where it comes from, then you are either incredibly lucky in where you live, or really really need to take more care. When something happens to you, you realise that you have to watch out. I think most of us live in places where that stuff happens fairly regularly, but I suppose others might not. Incidence of violent attacks against trans folk is a lot higher and so I feel much more vulnerable when I am out. 

Firstly women gain a lot more attention on the street and there is a good chance that there can be problems when they realise that they are directing their attention to a MTF.

Is it a legitimate fear? Well, the fact being attacked by a gang of men has happened to me before, tells me it is. I don't even think that I live in a particularly bad area. But I don't know that many places that people don't get attacked, stabbed, killed and stuff; anywhere. I know some people who have never had it happen to them though and so they assume it doesn't and don't look for danger and take suitable action.

Just be safe.

That was interesting, thanks. I think my life has mostly trained me to stay calm and not worry about things in general, because it has served me better in the past, and I don't react well to fear at all. I'm not really able to be afraid of something yet still bear it like normal people. I'm sort of, either terrified and careless. Since my fears have pretty much only caused me harm in my life (by ruining my life in anxiety or avoidance and the feared event never happening), I guess I'm conditioned not to fear, and to see fear as undesirable.

I guess the way I am is much more advantageous... until you get unlucky and something you should have feared happens, that is. But for me, fear is so devastating that I think I'll just stay the way I am and hope nothing too awful happens. It's not like I don't take the basic precautions either, so at least I'm not running into danger like a fool.

Also, I think most women are a lot more at risk than me. Right now, I may pass most of the time, but as much older than I really am, and I'm not remotely sexy. My girlfriend finds me beautiful, but she's pretty much the only one and I accuse a very strong bias. Since crimes on women (when you define "crimes on women" as "crimes on women that wouldn't have happened if the victim had been a guy") are generally motivated by lust, I guess being unattactive helps. Hey, if ugliness can have an advantage, I'll gladly take it.

Quote from: A on May 29, 2013, 11:28:06 PM
Also, I think most women are a lot more at risk than me. Right now, I may pass most of the time, but as much older than I really am, and I'm not remotely sexy. My girlfriend finds me beautiful, but she's pretty much the only one and I accuse a very strong bias. Since crimes on women (when you define "crimes on women" as "crimes on women that wouldn't have happened if the victim had been a guy") are generally motivated by lust, I guess being unattactive helps. Hey, if ugliness can have an advantage, I'll gladly take it.

I am sorry I need your attention here, Rape IS NEVER motivated by lust, rape is a crime of violence, it is is something the perpetrator does to control the victim and it is not only done by men to women, 5% of the victims are men by women! What that man did to me had nothing to do with desire and only to do with making me do what he wanted. If he wanted a girlfriend or a hookup he could have gone to craigslist any day and found a very willing person in a second to take care of his lust. he just wanted control and violence. people who do this a sociopaths not hormonal on the loose.

While I totally agree with vegie271, and having suffered myself lets be a little bit cautious about triggering people.

There are many woman on this site who have suffered sexual assault and I now it never ever goes away.

Rape is a violent domination act that has nothing to do with sexual lust.

It is evil and it is devastating to the victim.

Please can we be careful of the subject, we can never ignore it. We can never condone it. And those of us who live with it have to do so. Being reminded of it is not something I find helpful to my psyche.

I am as always here to help and talk to any member who is trying to cope with this evil act.

Cindy
Global Moderator

Uhm, i think the disagreement we have is just on the words, thus probably pointless. I agree with you but just haven't expressed it the same way. Can we stop discussing this? I know full well that my neutral tone and vocabulary tend to be very frustrating to people who have had a very emotionally triggering past. You're the third person getting angry at me (the second rape victim; the other one being a cancer survivor) over a misunderstanding like this, and my experience is that the longer the conversation continues, the more I get misunderstood and the more I'm seen as insensitive.

I really feel sorry for what happened to you and really do think it's a horrible thing. Let's leave it at that, all right?

Quote from: vegie271 on May 29, 2013, 09:20:28 AM

DID YOU NOT READ WHAT I SAID? I WAS RAPED! IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DAY! it  was 12:30 in the afternoon on a sunday. I was 1 and 1/2 blocks away from home walking towards the store. Minding my own business when this man walked up to me and started talking to me, he puts his hand around my shoulder, then the next thing I know, my shorts are being torn off and he sees that I am not  cis gendered and he starts beating the tar out of me!

BESIDES when does anyone have the right to attack a woman EVER in any situation!. Is the rape culture a good thing?

Edited for profanity.

I also have a bad memory of being attacked. I was far luckier than you.
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,22314.msg168610.html#msg168610 (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,22314.msg168610.html#msg168610)

Just wearing heels restricted my defense ability.

After this, I noticed that other girls go out in a group. No woman walks alone in the streets or malls of suburban areas of the US. Crowded downtown areas can be safer, but it also would depend on the culture and law.

When I first visit a foreign city, I go out with my friends if I am in full dress, or in dull mode if I have to go out alone. Wearing sneakers is far safer than wearing heels.

Precautionary approach is always nice.

barbie~~