Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Hi everyone. I've been on Testosterone for about two months and have noticed increased depression. Granted I've been prone to depression before starting T but it is getting worse now. Yesterday I was more sad than I've been in a long while. My Testosterone is not low; I have nearly a week before my next shot is due (I take bi-weekly injections). I was wondering how some of you guys have handled hormone related depression. ~hope

Hey, are you on meds? If so, have you asked your doc if you can take T and the med too safely? I had massive depression and took meds, now I take them every 3. days. But I think it's not weird having some mood swings, you started taking a new hormone, your body needs time to adjust to it.

I felt really down towards the middle to end of my shot cycle when I took it every two weeks. My doc put me on every ten days and it helped (then every week really picked things up). Have you had your levels checked close to the end of the cycle? That would tell you if your T is low. Injectable T has a half life of 10 days so once you're reaching the 14 days mark it's really loooow. If you still have your ovaries that would probably also effect your mood once the T gets on the low side. Just a thought.

Jared yes I take two anti depressants. My psychiatrist knows I started T. I have an appointment with them in a little over a month and will certainly let them know of my increased depression. Simon I have yet to have blood work done; I'll have my first check up in a month. Then I will ask to switch from injections to patches or gel. Steady daily doses of T should help level out my mood, I hope. I'm glad you two learned of ways to deal with your depression. Thanks to you both. ~hope

Allright I hope you'll get better!  :)

Thank you Jared =) ~hope

Hmm. It's a hard thing, transitioning, its a really long process too.

the only thing ive found to help is to be proactive. when i'm depressed i am very passive and just roll with whatever happens, dont speak up about anything, dont participate, dont get outof my head. when i'm not depressed i attack life - challenge myself to do better - be itat workor the gym or with budgeting or study or anything.

the real challenge is flipping that switch from passive to active living.
one day at a time. one change at a time. this last round, i started by making sure i got up earlyenough to make my vegetable juice every day. i felt a lot better, knowing i was taking care of myself at the start ofthe day set meup to do the same thing later on. no more skipping food and just drinking coffee. then after that, i started thinking aboutmy future - career choices - blah blah.

i was pretty depressed for 2 months and just crawled outof it a few weeks ago. i might be back there next week,but i'm going to keeppup with the small things that seem like a pain in the butt but really are helping me stay solid.

Whitehat, I live life passively even when I'm not depressed. Nonetheless I think I understand what you're saying. When I'm depressed I should fight to get out of it rather than let it continue on and on. I need to do things to get my mind off the depressing thoughts and emotions. You're right, being productive while depressed seems like a major pain in the Ass but it's better than staying sad indeed. You made another good point about doing little things to try to prevent the depression in the first place. Thanks  :) ~hope

You're welcome dude  :)  What whitehat said is really good. Don't let yourself think too much. Try some sport if you feel like. My mind goes off while I'm doing sports. My psychiatrist suggested to plan every day, every hour, no empty time not even half an hour. It didn't work for me cause I'm a college student and my time is unpredictable but it might be good for others.

Maybe planning my days is a good idea. A schedule would ensure I'm doing things to take care of myself each day. I don't work so I have a lot of free time.

PS: That's a very cute cat in your photo  :)

~hope

Then it really could work for you.
Thanks, the pic is not mine but I had a cat similar to the photo :) I really like that qoute from The Crow, one of my favourite movies :)

The Crow is the best  :) ~hope

I used to trough pretty badly toward the end of my two-week cycle; fortunately, I had already experienced menopause, so I don't think I was getting too much E-related resistance, or not for long. Also, I was on a high dose of T, so I suppose my levels didn't get really low until after ten days. Anyway, my mood evened out considerably when I went to weekly injections.

I know a guy who has lots of mental health issues and who cannot tolerate much variation in his daily T level. He does gel or cream, and that seems to work for him.

Arch, I'm glad your moods leveled off. I hope to switch to patches or gel/cream in a month when I have my first check up. Yesterday I felt good and today I feel fine. Perhaps I can continue the trend  :) ~hope

As always YMMV, but I found after the first 2 months of being on injections, the mood swings went away. But for the first few shots, I had pretty terrible mood swings before the next one. I would be crying and totally hopeless, sometimes I think it's a miracle my friend Keaira even put up with those. :P

Prof HB, I'm glad you among others here have experienced your depression easing up. ~hope

I think I'm susceptible to hormone-related depression because I used to have similar problems before T. I just have a brain that is sensitive to chemical changes. Maybe you do, too.

I know that transition had a beneficial effect, but I can't tell whether the T itself made a dent in my depression. Probably not. Just starting transition made me feel better, although my anxiety was through the roof because of job issues, my breakup, moving out, and dealing with transition logistics.

I still get seasonal depression and bottom dysphoria, and I didn't feel right when I decreased my dose below a certain level, so I raised it up again. However, I was on finasteride at the time, so that was a factor.

Sure is complicated...

When I had periods I would get severe cramps and significant depression every time. I think my body is indeed sensitive to hormonal changes. It sounds like you had a very stressful time when you started transitioning. I'm glad it all worked out though  :) Thankfully I don't have a job nor a romantic partner to worry about. Compared to many people my transition shouldn't be nearly as difficult and for that I am very thankful. ~hope

Quote from: desperate believer on May 25, 2013, 12:00:34 PM
The Crow is the best  :) ~hope

Definitely  ;)

Quote from: desperate believer on May 25, 2013, 02:08:25 PM
Yesterday I felt good and today I feel fine. Perhaps I can continue the trend  :) ~hope

I'm glad about it  :)

Quote from: desperate believer on May 26, 2013, 04:49:26 AM
Thankfully I don't have a job nor a romantic partner to worry about. Compared to many people my transition shouldn't be nearly as difficult and for that I am very thankful. ~hope

I guess being single and jobless has certain advantages! When I was getting ready to transition, some of the people in the community were envious, saying that I had someone to support me through the process. Um, no, not so much.

I know that a few relationships last past the first few months or year of transition, but most that I've seen or heard about have not lasted much longer than that. And most of the couples went through all sorts of hell while trying to work things out. Ugh. Much simpler to be single.

One disadvantage is that I live in an apartment complex which means lots of neighbors. Though I mostly keep to myself some people still know who I am some how while I have no clue who they are. I can only imagine and dread the stares and questions I may experience when I eventually venture out of my apartment with side burns and facial hair  :-\  Today even a neighbor whose name I don't know asked "You're not trying to be a boy are you?" referring to my short hair cut. I was caught off guard and unsure of what to say so I replied "Sometimes". While I don't plan on explaining anything to my neighbors unless they ask I do intend to talk to my landlord about my transition. I don't want to freak out the person who is responsible for letting me live here with subsidized housing rates. I'm hoping talking with her will prepare her for my transition so she won't be freaked out when I do start looking and sounding different. ~hope

My roommates' dad doesn't know I'm transitioning while the other members of her family know. Yesterday they came to us and they were really cool about it, even her dad who didn't even seemed to be surprised how different I look and sound xD Some people just don't notice it, crazy. And at home, my neighbours well...one of them came to me and said something like "how are you girl?" toning the word girl. Like she would letting me know that I'm a girl cause I doesn't seem to know it xD

Jared, I'm glad your roommates' family is understanding  :)  It's funny how some people seem to notice even the slightest change(s) while others are oblivious. Was your neighbor being a jerk or teasing you? ~hope

Quote from: desperate believer on May 26, 2013, 04:43:04 PM
One disadvantage is that I live in an apartment complex which means lots of neighbors.

I live in a trailer park in the South. A few years ago my gf and I was helping her dad after his divorce by moving in and paying most of the mortgage. Well, long story short he kinda lost it for a little bit. He quit his job as a truck driver and then blew his life savings on unnecessary things. Couldn't find a job and then went back to his home State. Left us high and dry. The trailer park was the first place I found that would let us keep our pitbull mix. That's how we ended up here. It's cheap and usually quiet so we'll probably be here a couple more years until I have surgery and we can put a down payment on a house.

Anyways, the point I was going to make before I started rambling is this, if I can live in the center of redneck nation and not have any problems you should be able to live where you do without any. I'm the type where I don't bother anybody and I expect them to not bother me. You don't owe anybody an explanation for anything. If someone walked up to me and asked something like that guy asked you I'd probably just say, "I'm doing my thing" and keep walking. Don't let them see that it bothers you.

Quote from: Simon on May 26, 2013, 06:28:32 PM
I'm the type where I don't bother anybody and I expect them to not bother me. You don't owe anybody an explanation for anything. If someone walked up to me and asked something like that guy asked you I'd probably just say, "I'm doing my thing" and keep walking. Don't let them see that it bothers you.

I feel the same way you do Simon. I don't bother anyone I expect the same in return. I also feel that I don't owe anyone an explaination. I wish people would just mind their own damned business. However, the reality is that some people are nosy. Then again maybe I'm just paranoid; perhaps everything will work out much better than I'm expecting. So far it has. As for how to react to people's questions I don't feel like explaining it yet I don't know how else to respond to them without seeming abrasive. I'm a rather passive aggressive person; confrontation makes me very uncomfortable. I think I'd feel like an jerk if I gave someone the cold shoulder so to speak. ~hope

Edited for profanity

Quote from: desperate believer on May 26, 2013, 05:28:31 PM
Jared, I'm glad your roommates' family is understanding  :)  It's funny how some people seem to notice even the slightest change(s) while others are oblivious. Was your neighbor being a jerk or teasing you? ~hope

No, not really. I get on well with most of them they were just surprised I guess. If you're nice to people in general they seem to be more acceptive IMO even when they don't understand you.

Jared, that's why I don't want to give my neighbors a hard time even if I am annoyed by their questions/comments. I figure if I'm a jerk or snippy with them then they'll have reason to be rude and disrespectful right back to me. While I don't care what most people think of me at the same time I don't want to make enemies with people I have to live near. ~hope