Site News and Information => Introductions => Topic started by: Elle16 on May 31, 2013, 04:57:46 PM Return to Full Version
Title: Hi everyone on Susan's :)
Post by: Elle16 on May 31, 2013, 04:57:46 PM
Post by: Elle16 on May 31, 2013, 04:57:46 PM
I was just replying to another post and realised I hadn't done an introduction for myself, silly me lol!
My name's Elle, 26 this year and I'm a transgender girl (MtF) on the pathway to becomming my true self :)
I started living as a girl just over a month ago, painting my nails, shaving legs, wearing my mums clothes (just as a start) and waiting on my hair growing out. I've always been a girl, from very young - I played with Barbie's, dressed in my mums clothes (in secret!) and loved getting dressed up as a fairy princess or mermaid! I've always had girl pals and been close to females - my mum and gran on my dad's side in particular. I used to bake, sew and make costumes etc. as a kid - I wasn't interested in boys things... even with like STAR WARS I wanted to be Leia cause she rocks! I had the hairstyling Leia doll a while back, lol! what memories.
I've had ongoing councelling for around three months - during which I told my councellor I wanted to be a girl. This was the first time I had ever admitted I wanted to be a girl, that being a boy just isn't me. When I was younger I did cry, very often and pulled out my hair as a result of both mental and physical troubles - the illness meningitis when I was around 4... then I had my appendix out at 6. During my time in hospital my gran bought me a video - Disney's The Little Mermaid, I truly believe this film saved my life & changed me as a person.
I wanted to be like Ariel - a beautiful and amazing girl! BUT I was stuck as a boy... :'( :'(
During childhood I tried my best to be a girl but my dad was having none of it! He wanted me to be a boy and that was that... I've never had a great relationship with him and I think this is why. I won't get into it but even today we still don't talk and I doubt there'll ever be a father daughter relationship...
I've always had a problem with denial - at school I was bullied for playing with dolls and it was really hard. People told me I was gay - NO they didn't ask me, they told me! in my mind I accepted it but I really knew that wasn't the issue. I went on like this through my teens - constant denial and upset because I couldn't express what I really was inside.
During college I left a course because I had to draw a nude model... it was a man with his penis out - I couldn't do it... I felt really uncomfortable with that area on my body too... - although I'm now at a point where I'm ok with it. And imo it will not make me a woman if I have a vigina - no that's the feeling and personality inside me!
I then returned to college a few years later doing hairdressing, something my dad didn't want me to do after I left school at 16... but this time I ignored him and did it! Loved it, but again I was still a guy and I didn't feel right...
Jobs have followed and I tried to fit in as male but all the time I was like "this is NOT me!" - up until a point last year where I was literally going off my head. Everything was swirling around there & had been adding up for years - all the tears, fears, depression & upset made me a different person... I had thought about suicide several times :(
It was then I knew I had to get help and going to the councelling and doctor has helped me alot - I am on anti-depressants and I'm back on an even keel realy to take on the massive challenge ahead of me!
Fast forward to now and I'm living my dream!! I'm being the girl I always wanted to be! At the moment I have facial hair removal next week and GP appointment 2 weeks from now - going to ask how long it'll be before I get to the Gender Clinic but I'm sure it's about 18 months... I will cry if I have to wait that long for hormones. All the emotions I've felt this last while are finally starting to make me see this is the right choice for me and the only way I can truly be happy in myself and have a good life.
Thank you to annyone for taking the time to read this, I've already had so much encouragement here on Susans I'm glad I can come here and talk whenever I'm in need to advice and support! Thankx guys and gals xxx
One life lession I have : Never, EVER try to be someone else - you have to follow your heart and be the person you are inside, then you will finally see that life is worth living and yourself worth loving <3
My name's Elle, 26 this year and I'm a transgender girl (MtF) on the pathway to becomming my true self :)
I started living as a girl just over a month ago, painting my nails, shaving legs, wearing my mums clothes (just as a start) and waiting on my hair growing out. I've always been a girl, from very young - I played with Barbie's, dressed in my mums clothes (in secret!) and loved getting dressed up as a fairy princess or mermaid! I've always had girl pals and been close to females - my mum and gran on my dad's side in particular. I used to bake, sew and make costumes etc. as a kid - I wasn't interested in boys things... even with like STAR WARS I wanted to be Leia cause she rocks! I had the hairstyling Leia doll a while back, lol! what memories.
I've had ongoing councelling for around three months - during which I told my councellor I wanted to be a girl. This was the first time I had ever admitted I wanted to be a girl, that being a boy just isn't me. When I was younger I did cry, very often and pulled out my hair as a result of both mental and physical troubles - the illness meningitis when I was around 4... then I had my appendix out at 6. During my time in hospital my gran bought me a video - Disney's The Little Mermaid, I truly believe this film saved my life & changed me as a person.
I wanted to be like Ariel - a beautiful and amazing girl! BUT I was stuck as a boy... :'( :'(
During childhood I tried my best to be a girl but my dad was having none of it! He wanted me to be a boy and that was that... I've never had a great relationship with him and I think this is why. I won't get into it but even today we still don't talk and I doubt there'll ever be a father daughter relationship...
I've always had a problem with denial - at school I was bullied for playing with dolls and it was really hard. People told me I was gay - NO they didn't ask me, they told me! in my mind I accepted it but I really knew that wasn't the issue. I went on like this through my teens - constant denial and upset because I couldn't express what I really was inside.
During college I left a course because I had to draw a nude model... it was a man with his penis out - I couldn't do it... I felt really uncomfortable with that area on my body too... - although I'm now at a point where I'm ok with it. And imo it will not make me a woman if I have a vigina - no that's the feeling and personality inside me!
I then returned to college a few years later doing hairdressing, something my dad didn't want me to do after I left school at 16... but this time I ignored him and did it! Loved it, but again I was still a guy and I didn't feel right...
Jobs have followed and I tried to fit in as male but all the time I was like "this is NOT me!" - up until a point last year where I was literally going off my head. Everything was swirling around there & had been adding up for years - all the tears, fears, depression & upset made me a different person... I had thought about suicide several times :(
It was then I knew I had to get help and going to the councelling and doctor has helped me alot - I am on anti-depressants and I'm back on an even keel realy to take on the massive challenge ahead of me!
Fast forward to now and I'm living my dream!! I'm being the girl I always wanted to be! At the moment I have facial hair removal next week and GP appointment 2 weeks from now - going to ask how long it'll be before I get to the Gender Clinic but I'm sure it's about 18 months... I will cry if I have to wait that long for hormones. All the emotions I've felt this last while are finally starting to make me see this is the right choice for me and the only way I can truly be happy in myself and have a good life.
Thank you to annyone for taking the time to read this, I've already had so much encouragement here on Susans I'm glad I can come here and talk whenever I'm in need to advice and support! Thankx guys and gals xxx
One life lession I have : Never, EVER try to be someone else - you have to follow your heart and be the person you are inside, then you will finally see that life is worth living and yourself worth loving <3
Title: Re: Hi everyone on Susan's :)
Post by: Ms. OBrien CVT on May 31, 2013, 05:39:57 PM
Post by: Ms. OBrien CVT on May 31, 2013, 05:39:57 PM
Hi Elle, :icon_wave:
Welcome to our little family. Over 11431 . That would be one heck of a family reunion.
Feel free to post your successes/failures, Hopes/dreams. Ask questions and seek answers. Give and receive advice.
But remember we are family here, your family now. And it is always nice to have another sister. (https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fsmileys.on-my-web.com%2Frepository%2FAnimals%2Fferret-3.gif&hash=f49e2f86761323f2abd9c33941920389dbb3b10f)
And be sure to check out these links ( MUST READS ) (https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fsmileys.on-my-web.com%2Frepository%2FAnimals%2Fferret-8.gif&hash=d9498942f8bbb4bf3ad29af75944ea5e1135c6fa)
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Janet )O(
Welcome to our little family. Over 11431 . That would be one heck of a family reunion.
Feel free to post your successes/failures, Hopes/dreams. Ask questions and seek answers. Give and receive advice.
But remember we are family here, your family now. And it is always nice to have another sister. (https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fsmileys.on-my-web.com%2Frepository%2FAnimals%2Fferret-3.gif&hash=f49e2f86761323f2abd9c33941920389dbb3b10f)
And be sure to check out these links ( MUST READS ) (https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fsmileys.on-my-web.com%2Frepository%2FAnimals%2Fferret-8.gif&hash=d9498942f8bbb4bf3ad29af75944ea5e1135c6fa)
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Janet )O(
Title: Re: Hi everyone on Susan's :)
Post by: Rinzler on May 31, 2013, 05:56:11 PM
Post by: Rinzler on May 31, 2013, 05:56:11 PM
It's nice to meet you, Elle, and welcome to Susan's! I'm so happy to hear that things have turned around for you so much and that you're finding the happiness you truly deserve!
Title: Re: Hi everyone on Susan's :)
Post by: Jamie D on May 31, 2013, 06:00:04 PM
Post by: Jamie D on May 31, 2013, 06:00:04 PM
A warm welcome from southern California, Elle. Glad you found us, and thank you for posting this Intro.
(I didn't post my own Intro for over 100 posts) ::)
(I didn't post my own Intro for over 100 posts) ::)