Community Conversation => Transgender talk => Topic started by: Adrian_Michael on June 04, 2013, 12:03:45 PM Return to Full Version
Title: Told my father my chosen name...
Post by: Adrian_Michael on June 04, 2013, 12:03:45 PM
Post by: Adrian_Michael on June 04, 2013, 12:03:45 PM
His response? "Are you going to change it legally?"
He's trying to be supportive, from a distance. He did tell me today he loves me no matter what, because he's my dad.
But he also said it is "your choice and okay by me". I had to educate him on how this isn't a CHOICE for me. That once I had the epiphany of the source of my self-loathing, it became a need, a mental health issue, to help me get over years of self-hate and depression.
I hope it gets through.
Anyone else have a parent who tries, but falls short in the "gets it" category?
He's trying to be supportive, from a distance. He did tell me today he loves me no matter what, because he's my dad.
But he also said it is "your choice and okay by me". I had to educate him on how this isn't a CHOICE for me. That once I had the epiphany of the source of my self-loathing, it became a need, a mental health issue, to help me get over years of self-hate and depression.
I hope it gets through.
Anyone else have a parent who tries, but falls short in the "gets it" category?
Title: Re: Told my father my chosen name...
Post by: Naomi on June 04, 2013, 12:13:15 PM
Post by: Naomi on June 04, 2013, 12:13:15 PM
Yes, so very yes. My mom is trying so hard but at the same time she's grasping at straws to stop me. Sometimes we have great moments, like when I got her to take me shopping, but then she'll turn around say "why can't you just go back to ignoring it?"
One that actually kind of irritated me yesterday was that she tried my use being a cadet officer in high school (it was military) as evidence of the "guy" things that I dd. I was just like "mom, are you going to sit there and tell me that being a leader is a guy thing?".
It's just hard because the next moment she'll go out and find me an endo.
One that actually kind of irritated me yesterday was that she tried my use being a cadet officer in high school (it was military) as evidence of the "guy" things that I dd. I was just like "mom, are you going to sit there and tell me that being a leader is a guy thing?".
It's just hard because the next moment she'll go out and find me an endo.
Title: Told my father my chosen name...
Post by: Keira on June 04, 2013, 12:26:12 PM
Post by: Keira on June 04, 2013, 12:26:12 PM
I always get the, "Well it's your choice" response, to which I respond it was either this or I'd be six feet under ground by now.
Better yet is when I get told, "Gay/Trans people just want everyone to tell them that what they're doing is okay, why do they have to be so in your face [sic] about it?". It's like...really dad? It's not like I'm telling you that you have to take hormones or get an orchiectomy, or that you need to be in a relationship with a guy.
"I never had to deal with figuring out my sexuality [sic]" or some variation of referring to my gender identity as "sexuality" or "sexual orientation"...to which I correct him and he says in response "It's the same thing".
"Hey [birth name]"
Arrrrrrrghhh...
Better yet is when I get told, "Gay/Trans people just want everyone to tell them that what they're doing is okay, why do they have to be so in your face [sic] about it?". It's like...really dad? It's not like I'm telling you that you have to take hormones or get an orchiectomy, or that you need to be in a relationship with a guy.
"I never had to deal with figuring out my sexuality [sic]" or some variation of referring to my gender identity as "sexuality" or "sexual orientation"...to which I correct him and he says in response "It's the same thing".
"Hey [birth name]"
Arrrrrrrghhh...
Title: Re: Told my father my chosen name...
Post by: dpadgett628 on June 24, 2013, 05:15:33 PM
Post by: dpadgett628 on June 24, 2013, 05:15:33 PM
My parents are kind of the same way. Some days they're really great and others they will do or say things that are so over the top that I just end up confused on where they stand with all of this.
They'll come around though, they just need to be more educated about what its like. Personally, I've tried explaining but I just end up frustrated and angry.
Best of luck!
They'll come around though, they just need to be more educated about what its like. Personally, I've tried explaining but I just end up frustrated and angry.
Best of luck!
Title: Re: Told my father my chosen name...
Post by: Ltl89 on June 24, 2013, 05:37:19 PM
Post by: Ltl89 on June 24, 2013, 05:37:19 PM
Take comfort that they are comfortable with your "choice". Even though it isn't one, they could be against transitioning in general and attempt you to make it difficult for you. This is a good first step for you to try and educate them on what you're going through. Just give it time because it will take time for them to understand everything.