Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Alright. I might update this as the date gets closer, and assuming I don't break down for some reason, I'll let you all know how it goes (as well as the interesting stuff that follows when everything's mostly died down). I hope this ends up helping people.

So, I reckon I should give you some background first. I'm a fabrication engineer at a medium-large sized aerospace company. I work with a pretty diverse group of people, from blue collar to white collar, liberal to conservative, etc. The age ranges quite a bit, say, late teens/early twenties to 70s. Basically we've got people from all walks of life. My job includes interacting and working with all of these groups, since the fabrication department manufactures parts used in every other department. Lucky for me, I get my worth out there by getting my fingers in lots of different pies. I have no problem going to anyone and interacting with them (of course some people are more fun than others), and I do. I actually make an effort to be personable. For as long as I've worked there, I've only received outstanding performance reviews, and have progressively taken on more and more responsibilities... I'm relied on. I'm not trying to flatter myself (not intentionally) but I'm just letting you know that I've put some effort into adding "value" to myself. I'm more of an introvert, and it gets a bit tiring to cater to everyone, especially the difficult folks. I do think this is important, though.

I've had several meetings with management and HR at my work. We've got a tentative date of the day before July 4th before two days of holiday vacation. This might be changed though, so more employees can be informed.

So here are a few of the takeaways from the meetings I've had with management & HR:
1.   The approach (as of now) will be to isolate groups based on managerial authority and explain what is going on.
2.   A semi-global email will be sent to coworkers who I contact on a regular basis (or may contact). My manager and I will compose this (mostly me though), and probably review it with HR.
3.   I will not be present during the day this is discussed. I get some time off  8). This is so coworkers/employees can discuss this in private with their managers. I'll likely be taking two days if this isn't done on the holiday.
4.   The bathroom situation is still being discussed. They're willing to create a unisex restroom for personal use. I have my reservations because this could be seen as segregation. But this company is important to me, and I'm willing to consider all the options.
5.   Open communication was emphasized to me, especially if I experience situations that make me uncomfortable around people. I already know this will happen to some degree, so hopefully I can get my emotional barriers up for this one. I want things to remain professional during the transition at work, but HR wants me to report any occurrence should it happen.
6.   We also discussed who already knows at work, including people I've discussed it with and people that found out unintentionally (although they likely don't know the whole story).

So over the next few weeks I'll be writing the letter that's going to be emailed to the company. I'll post it here when it's done. So far I have lots of support. I love my boss; she's really awesome about all of this. I think more than all I'm optimistic, but I definitely know things won't be all easy (especially working in the fabrication department).


*edit*

F-yea! I'm on the last week until my 1 year HRT anniversary! Yaaaay!

I am very impressed of the way you have tackled this.  Best of luck to you.

Thanks Jamie :)

Oddly enough, I don't feel as much brave as determined. Damned if this isn't going to happen. It's gotta. It really, really has to happen. I don't have the stomach to cross dress like a man at work anymore.

Yay! Congratulations. I'm sure everything will go very well for you. Nerds can be very understanding people .

Quote from: Tristan on June 04, 2013, 11:33:02 PM
Yay! Congratulations. I'm sure everything will go very well for you. Nerds can be very understanding people .

Heh, I'm basically the only nerd in the department I work though (I'm all the engineering support they have, keeps me veeeeery busy). I'm surrounded by burly blue-collar dudes. Going to have to set up a personal deflector. Besides, I look good enough, I'll just set my phaser to stun (get it?). har har ;3.

I think your plan sounds great.  I'm really hoping everything goes well. 

It is super erie how much your situation mirrors mine, except for the, you know, coming out at work part.  ::)Please keep this thread updated. I am reaaally curious how this will go for you. I used to be part of the fabrication division, then I branched out into shipping and receiving, quality assurance, standar implimentation etc... But I made the switch about 3 months back to the design department. Now I'm not so depended upon so it has me a bit worried on the upcoming storm.  That is SO awsome for you. I am so close to making that part of my transition I can only imagine how you must feel. Good luck!

<3 Liv

That sounds pretty much identical to the approach I took when coming out at work and (aside from one minor wobble where a group of people hadn't received the email) it has gone very smoothly. Let me know if you would like to see the letter I wrote, I would be more than happy to send you a copy.

Rosie.

Quote from: Rosie on June 04, 2013, 11:51:05 PM
That sounds pretty much identical to the approach I took when coming out at work and (aside from one minor wobble where a group of people hadn't received the email) it has gone very smoothly. Let me know if you would like to see the letter I wrote, I would be more than happy to send you a copy.

Rosie.

Absolutely! So far I've been really scrutinizing the Transsexual Road Map for advice. I really appreciate all the help I can get.

Here's the letter I wrote for my work colleagues, in case it is of help to anyone.

Dear you,

my apologies for writing to you in the way of a circular but as you're reading this you are one of the yous I was thinking of when I wrote this letter so it's not really as impersonal as it might seem. 

I'm writing to you because in September 2012 I received a confirmed diagnosis of gender dysphoria.  In the likely case that the term means nothing to you I'll explain a little.  It means that my internal experience of my gender does not match my external appearance.  The research I've been able to lay my hands on confirms that there is some validity to the whole 'woman trapped in a man's body' stereotype for this in that some of a transexual's brain structures resemble those of their internal rather than external gender.

I suppose the point I'm trying to make is that it's a medical condition, complete with diagnostic criteria and a treatment plan (more on that later) rather than a lifestyle choice.

I suspect this may come as a bit of a surprise, certainly I like to convince myself that I've kept it reasonably under wraps but if you had me busted then well done you – I'm impressed.  I'm afraid you're the last group of people to find out as I started on the journey about a year ago and family and friends took precedence.

So...what happens now?  I'll not bore you with the details of the treatment plan but over time my appearance will become more in line with my gender. On Wednesday 13th March I'll stop coming to work as Nick and the following Monday I'll be coming in as Rosie.  I'd appreciate it if you could try (really hard) to remember the name change and to use the appropriate pronouns, but I understand that there are likely to be a few mistakes at first and won't be offended.

Other than that, there shouldn't really be any difference.  I'll still be the same person with the same skills, knowledge and personality though I'm likely to be a bit less preoccupied now that I've got this out the way.

I've kept the letter brief so have left out quite a lot of details that I'm guessing most people really aren't interested in but if you do have any questions please feel free to ask.  I won't get offended and  at worst I'll simply decline to answer.

All the best,

Rosie.

I like the way to become indispensable at work first....  ;D
Then you can come out with not fear ^^

Here is a good link for programmer :
http://thc.org/root/phun/unmaintain.html (http://thc.org/root/phun/unmaintain.html)

Quote from: Catherine.O on June 04, 2013, 11:20:51 PM

F-yea! I'm on the last week until my 1 year HRT anniversary! Yaaaay!

If your on the 1 year mark, I would imagine a lot of the workers already suspect something. Which is a good thing, I think, because if they haven't said anything then they might not afterwards.

Well blue collar workers do tend to secretly love us ;)

Quote from: Tristan on June 05, 2013, 07:29:31 AM
Well blue collar workers do tend to secretly love us ;)

Exactly, huhuhuhuhuuuu~  >:-)

Quote from: Tristan on June 05, 2013, 07:29:31 AM
Well blue collar workers do tend to secretly love us ;)

Not in a way that implies any respect as women...

Quote from: ZoeM on June 05, 2013, 08:19:38 AM
Not in a way that implies any respect as women...

Idk my bubba boys have been nothing but nice to me?

Congratulations! How exciting, no worries you'll be fine.

OK, here's my first draft letter... The day is set for Friday the 28th. Basically, management will be discussing it with their groups and I'll leave for home early. I'm giving this to managers in case some people want to read it as a supplement.
Oof, I'm excited! I'm actually looking forward to it - shazam!

To my colleagues:
You've probably just (or at least recently) had a meeting regarding me – this letter is intended for those of you that would like to know more, or that might be curious about my perspective.

So – I'm transgender. For as long as I can remember, I've never been comfortable in my body as it is/was. Essentially, I've never wanted to identify or be identified as a boy/man, but (particularly in my teenage years) I was too anxious to admit it publically. For that matter, I'm not exactly fond about giving up my privacy almost entirely, but I know it's instrumental for me to be happy. As some of you already know, I like cracking jokes – but this is one thing that I'm completely serious about.

I will be coming to work as Catherine Lee starting Monday the 8th.  I'll request that you make an effort to use female pronouns and call me by this name (besides, it's already legally changed to Catherine by now). Of course I'll understand when mistakes are made – it'll be fine. But I really do appreciate your attention to vocabulary. Also, I appreciate your support – I'd like to specially thank those of you who already have (you know who you are :)).

Just know that this process hasn't been easy for me, but I'm really ready for this. From my perspective, it has to happen. Please know that if you find yourself curious about something, you can always ask me any questions related to my transition. I'll be happy to indulge your curiosity (as long as it it's not toooo personal).
Anyhoo, that about sums it up. You can always email me/visit/talk to me later if you want to. I'm a pretty chill person. ;) I've absolutely enjoyed working with you all in the past, and I'm looking forward to the future, too!

Live long and prosper (might as well, right?),
Catherine Lee

Nice.  I want to save it for when I come out at work.  (I'll change the name though.)

Looks good. :)

I hope the bathroom situation works out and you can use the ladies.

Yay!! It's a great feeling to be able to shed one's previous gender-presentation!

Im terrified of coming out to my Work.  Not only would I have to deal with management and co-works,  I'd have to deal with our clients and their families.   Hopefully my job as a Home health aid for the disabled doesnt bite me in the ass.