Susan's Place Transgender Resources

please could i have your opinions on what you did first to transition, for someone that will be transitioning soon i feel i cannot be publicly female until i lose my facial hair as i struggle to stay shaven because of some scar tissue on my face making it feel like im on fire for afew days after shaving. so my personal transition is hope fully going to go hormones, electrolysis, boob job, grs with the last 2 being hopefully being quiet close together (grs is probably most important 2 me so i can hopefully have a normal sex life). i feel the only thing i need to be full time female is electrolysis.
how did yours happen?
thankyou     

I started working on my voice since its free and critical.

i will be working on it but for me its 100% necessary as im often mistaken for my sister anyway

Oh wow well then I would say hormones and diet next then?

Hi,
If you can, I would suggest hair removal first, even before hormones as the ability to handle pain is somewhat greater when T is still at male levels. Hair removal, especially electrolysis hurts, and can even be quite excrutiating if done without an anesthethic. It can also take a long time so it is far better to get it over and done with before making any attempt to go full time.
Best of luck in any case.
Donna

Quote from: Donna Elvira on June 05, 2013, 04:17:32 PM
Hi,
If you can, I would suggest hair removal first, even before hormones as the ability to handle pain is somewhat greater when T is still at male levels. Hair removal, especially electrolysis hurts, and can even be quite excrutiating if done without an anesthethic. It can also take a long time so it is far better to get it over and done with before making any attempt to go full time.
Best of luck in any case.
Donna

That's so true. I had complete forgotten about that

thanks for the advice about electrolysis luckily its only facial hair as iv been epillating for the last 5or 6 years so i have minimal hair growth on my body

Everyone's first step is different.  Personally, I believe the best way to start is to talk with someone first.  If you are not going through informed consent, you will likely need to have a a letter from a therapist.  In the meantime, while you are waiting for hormones, you can start taking on the body hair.

i really want to start electrolysis but i just cant afford it at the moment as im unemployed so im really p****d off and down at the moment :'(

The first step in transition should be finding a therapist who specializes or at least has knowledge of gender issues. He or she can help you rough the process and make sure that you are truly ready to move forward. Anything else done before therapy, in my opinion, is a mistake and could be problematic.

Quote from: wardyjnr on June 06, 2013, 06:56:37 AM
thanks for the advice about electrolysis luckily its only facial hair as iv been epillating for the last 5or 6 years so i have minimal hair growth on my body

I was referring to facial hair. If you're lucky, HRT should take care of body hair, it certainly did for me.
Take care.
Donna

Therapy is pretty much the place to start. I'm kind of juggling a bunch of steps at once but I don't know if I recommend that yet.

iv seen my doctor and she is referring me to a psychologist and when i find a job i will be self medicating and my doctor knows about it and is going to help me (unofficially)   

Therapy and hair.

Quote from: wardyjnr on June 07, 2013, 08:56:13 AM
iv seen my doctor and she is referring me to a psychologist and when i find a job i will be self medicating and my doctor knows about it and is going to help me (unofficially)   

I'm not one to tell others their path or judge their personal decisions; however, for your own safety, please don't self medicate.  It is incredibly dangerous.  Hormones can be very harmful if taken without being monitored by a doctor.  One can wreak havoc on their body if they do it themselves  It's possible to develop blood clots, have a stroke, damage your liver and all other kinds of nasty things.  The reason why the medical community is so sensitive about people self medicating hormones is because unchecked it can be very bad for ones body (even fatal).  Even if your doctor is willing to help you unofficially, that still isn't really enough.  You want someone officially helping you and making sure that you are okay.  I'm not judging your decision, but I want you to be safe.  I'd hate to see you suffer because you didn't follow safety precautions. 

To the mods, I understand discussion of self medicating is a sensitive topic, but I wanted to warn someone out of concern in case they were unaware of the harmful impact it could have.  I apologize in advance if I'm in the wrong for providing this warning.

i understand what you are saying but my doctor is going to help me with dosage, regular check ups and blood tests.
and im sorry but iv already made my mind up, i turn 20 in 2 months and i dont want to spend the the next 10 years waiting for the nhs to give me the treatment/surgery i need, i want to enjoy my twenties and not be in the hell i have been in for the last however many years

For me it was starting with my voice (basically checking whether I'd have the vocal range at all if needed), then starting to see a therapist, starting hair removal, and then HRT.

Basically:

T0                               Realisation
T0 + 1 week                Voice
T1 + 1 1/2 months       Therapy
T2 + 7 months             Electrolysis (actually +5 for first session, but travel interfered)
T3 + 4 months             HRT

I'd say there's a few key steps in order to get where you need to go. Firstly therapy or councelling is a must! Or if your in the UK speak to your GP about refferal to a GIC - I'm sure there's like 7 in the UK or something.

At the moment I am working on voice - it's hard because there's so many good videos on Youtube but I want my voice to sound like me. I often get mistaken for a girl on the phone and sometimes when speaking publically. When I worked in a local supermarket people often said "thanks hen" and I'd be like umm ok? I almost never corrected anyone about this so I guess my voice is femanine enough to pass most of the time.
I would advise work on that as it's free and can take time to get it sounding right.

I'm also saving for Laser hair removal, that's at the top of my billing right now in terms of financially getting things sorted. Having bought clothes and makeup already I can start experimenting but not until this facial hair is gone - for me it's just a waste of good products at the moment as my fuzz always stands out.

Losing weight is also a concern for me, I am not fat or greatly overweight or anything like that but I want a more slimeline waist. Kicking exercises and running are two things I want to keep on doing. I don't drive so I walk everywhere - it's free and allows me to lose alittle weight too.

Seeing as my councelling just ended, I no longer feel the need to constantly bottle things up. I've taked openly with my family about my plans to transition in a slower paced way. I'm watching Youtube vids, joining forums to ask for advice and help others with their GID. I actually feel alot happier since doing that - like I can finally find a place where I belong in  :angel:

To the OP - I'm currently unemployed as well, I left my job in March - went through hell the last few months but having seen a councellor & finally just been open and honest about what I want in life I've been able to move forward and am starting to look for work again. Being on the Joncentre is annoying, all the people who don't give a fudge about finding work while your there applying left right and centre! Trust me I know when I go I'm one of the few whose actually looking into getting abck into work. Although we can't just lump everyone in the same bucket - there's alot of honest people looking for work today as well.... just those lazy ones who annoy me the most!

Keep your chin up, there's jobs out there for people who really want them! Also if your palnning a transition it might be best to remain in "boy mode" for just now - after you change your name by deed poll all your work history and employment records go out the window... unless you put Transgender o your CV. But to me it's a moot point... I'll never, EVER work with the public again unless I absolutely must! Still presenting as "boy" is a good way until you are 100% ready to commit to living life as a girl, everyday.

For myself I just cannot do it without the hair removal, no way!

Best of luck xx

i know exactly what you mean about the job centre the people than dont want to work give us (the 1's who want to work a bad name) and the one that are genuinly finding it hard to find work dont get support in finding work. anyway back to transitioning, i feel i want be honest with any potential employees at the interview stage because i dont know how long i will be working there and i dont want to just walk in to work 1 day as a female. i feel i very lucky on this front because of my profession (current profession) being a hair stylist i am surrounded in women who i feel more open with than men. (i struggle to talk about it to men because throughout my school life i was physically and verbally bullied for apparently being gay which i knew i wasnt and now even 5 years later i still feel threatened by men and i have always just hated 96%of men), also i find women of any age more supportive 

Quote from: wardyjnr on June 08, 2013, 10:47:17 AM
i know exactly what you mean about the job centre the people than dont want to work give us (the 1's who want to work a bad name) and the one that are genuinly finding it hard to find work dont get support in finding work. anyway back to transitioning, i feel i want be honest with any potential employees at the interview stage because i dont know how long i will be working there and i dont want to just walk in to work 1 day as a female. i feel i very lucky on this front because of my profession (current profession) being a hair stylist i am surrounded in women who i feel more open with than men. (i struggle to talk about it to men because throughout my school life i was physically and verbally bullied for apparently being gay which i knew i wasnt and now even 5 years later i still feel threatened by men and i have always just hated 96%of men), also i find women of any age more supportive

Well I can tell you I have felt exactly the same!

At Primary school I was just the boy who played with Barbies - but in my head I know I was a girl... then High School came and everyone turned on me & I went into denial. Plus I wasn't asked if I was gay, I was told "You're GAY!!" and like you I knew this was not the problem but I just kept bottling it up... for years :( I started to believe it because it was a daily occurance for me, being pigeon holed and put into my block of society...

I actually started living as a gay guy in my early 20's but it became very obvious that I wasn't gay. 1 I wasn't physically attracted to gay men and 2 I kept having this feeling of acting all camp and OTT - I'm naturally very bubbly and happy as a person but the constant "put on" really annoyed me & others noticed my behavior went from smiley happy to very depressed and quiet...

What's really hard to describe to another human being is that inside I just know I have always been a girl! I must have repeated that like 10x to my councellor, even in my last session on Thursday - because now when I've finally accepted it I feel calm & stress free - my life feels easy again and it's ok to talk about being transgender. I also went through a regression, going back to my childhood and buying the DISNEY dolls and toys I wasn't aloud to have as a kid. My dad's not very supportive and we've never got on. I used to hate him alot when I was younger, I know through councelling that this is why.

Having said that my councellor is a guy, as is my doctor and I have been able to talk openly and honestly with them about all this. I think trust has a massive part to play in this.

But anyway I have also always felt more comfortable around women - I struggle to talk with guys because I find nine times out of ten we have NOTHING in common. Like zilch! Women have always been easy to talk with. I constantly go off-topic and often use my hands to express myself when talking. My voice does go up and down alot too - most males tend to speak monotone and very slowly... I can talk till the cows come home, lol!

Anyway, I suggest a councellor or therapis is your first step to help identify how you'd like to move forward with transitioning. I would say again though : Don't rush, honestly! Everyone is different and you need to take things as they come and at your own pace. This isn't a race with anyone - it's up to you how and when you want to move forward :)

xx

I don't think any thing could make feel different about men
My worst nightmare would be to have a male doc and therapist I would not be able to talk to themm I'm very soft on the inside but I have a NUKE proof shell that I will only open to people I feel safe with eg females

When it comes to being told I'm gay it was so bad when I was at school It drove me to drink and drugs (I'm not proud of it and I wish I could change it) and even having intercourse with a man and that now distgusts me

Thank you its really good to have someone that I can relate to its made me feel a lot better

Quote from: wardyjnr on June 05, 2013, 03:44:27 PM
please could i have your opinions on what you did first to transition, for someone that will be transitioning soon i feel i cannot be publicly female until i lose my facial hair as i struggle to stay shaven because of some scar tissue on my face making it feel like im on fire for afew days after shaving. so my personal transition is hope fully going to go hormones, electrolysis, boob job, grs with the last 2 being hopefully being quiet close together (grs is probably most important 2 me so i can hopefully have a normal sex life). i feel the only thing i need to be full time female is electrolysis.
how did yours happen?
thankyou   

Short term but...
You tried using a proper good quality razor? I got an expensive one recently (always used to buy those cheap ass multipacks) and it makes all the difference for my face. I used to always have issues due to having acne and I would always break out a bit after shaving. Not any more!

More on topic though I would say you want a therapist, and to deal with facial hair, as things you need to plan and get appointments for. As for voice you should be practicing that whenever you can, whenever you have free time and the opportunity to do so.

i use gillette fusion razors (from what people say the best on the market and the most expensive) it makes no difference what razors i use it burns for 48 hours or more

That sucks D:

Sounds like you definitely want to make dealing with that properly a priority then!

i dont even know when im going to start dealing with it ive had a bad couple of days and i dont know what to do

I recently bought a Venus Breeze razor and I swear it's made a huge differance to my shaving routine. I don't shave everyday now as I am still mostly presenting male in public (not very often) but out the back and stuff I wear foundation. It's covering alot better!

Also having one razor for your face and another for your body is a good way to avoid it getting blunt quicker. The heads are expensive but I'm going to stay with this one for the moment.

Have you had the chance to speak with your GP or a councellor yet?

I was at my GP's yesterday asking if my refferal had went through ok, I've not had a peep from Sandyford - guess it'll take a couple of weeks as there's that 18 month waiting list... I'm now thinking after all my laser sessions I'll go full time. I just cannot wait another year, no way!!

no i havn't heard anything yet
i really hope i dont have to wait that long or i will be in bad place and i dont have the money to go private
although saying that i will be starting self medicating soon
are you sure that it is 18 months because my mum is a healthcare professional and they are told the nhs ruling is no patient shall wait more than 18 weeks for a referral
if i have to wait more than 18 weeks im going to blow up at someone

Self medication is frowned on here.  It is dangerous and unwise.

We can not stop you, but we do ask you to refrain from discussing it here.

well im sorry but i need to change my life and sooner rather than later
and anyway my doctor will be observing everything and helping me all i am doing is buy the drugs off line and taking a recommended dose so technically im not self medicating   

Quote from: wardyjnr on June 13, 2013, 10:16:13 AM
no i havn't heard anything yet
i really hope i dont have to wait that long or i will be in bad place and i dont have the money to go private
although saying that i will be starting self medicating soon
are you sure that it is 18 months because my mum is a healthcare professional and they are told the nhs ruling is no patient shall wait more than 18 weeks for a referral
if i have to wait more than 18 weeks im going to blow up at someone

Yes I know the feeling  :(

He said 18 months... and my heart really did sink alittle. I cannot wait that long, I should get a letter advising me I'm on the waiting list - but who knows ? I wish I could self med but I've heard it's dangerous and don't want to go through possible side effects. Once the hair from my face is gone or at the least minimalised - and my hair will be longer by that time too - I shall be going full time, it's just got to happen!

Ok, I see.  So your mum is working as a professional healthcare, in this case, she would be able to prescribe you the estrogen.  Yes, sooner is better than late.  However, you are still young, are you sure that you are not a crossdresser, but transgender girl.  Taking hormone may lead to permanent effect e.g growth of boobs, reduction size of male organ including penny and testicle, soft skin, etc. Perhaps, you can talk to your mum and see what she can help.  Are you always jealous some pretty females? are you interested in make-up?

Quote from: saraharmstrong on June 13, 2013, 06:32:25 PM
Ok, I see.  So your mum is working as a professional healthcare, in this case, she would be able to prescribe you the estrogen.  Yes, sooner is better than late.  However, you are still young, are you sure that you are not a crossdresser, but transgender girl.  Taking hormone may lead to permanent effect e.g growth of boobs, reduction size of male organ including penny and testicle, soft skin, etc. Perhaps, you can talk to your mum and see what she can help.  Are you always jealous some pretty females? are you interested in make-up?

i am transsexual as i said earlier i can not make love not even the blue pill will help, i hate men and male genitalia. i am jealous of other female and especially pregnant females.
unfortunately my mum cannot prescribe drugs as she is not a doctor she a scientist

Quote from: wardyjnr on June 06, 2013, 12:41:22 PM
i really want to start electrolysis but i just cant afford it at the moment as im unemployed so im really p****d off and down at the moment :'(

I am  removing my   facial   hair  with  diamond  tipped  tweeters,  three fourths  of  it is  gone.
the tweezers  removes  about 4  hairs  at a time. 
Just  pull the  hairs  out fast-