Susan's Place Transgender Resources

The past five months on hormones have been a roller coaster of an experience with many ups and downs marked with me being terribly impatient with this whole process. It got a bit ugly when in a bit of desperation I took a higher dose of my blockers for a good month which after talking with my psychologist I got back down to my original dose. I have been very impatient in wanting these changes to take place basically overnight and it honestly got me depressed. In the past week though I've gained a new perspective and have greatly been working on my patience. I'm starting to realize that this is a journey and not a sprint, that there will be many ups and downs. I have to focus on what each day brings and celebrate the little things. To be honest I had one celebration to myself yesterday in that for the first time I began to see Julie, my female self physically take form. Though it is a slight change it's one that shows me that these hormones are in fact working and doing their job, just a lot slower than I initially thought. I am also gaining the confidence to go out dressed up though I do need help with fashion as it isn't a strong point lol. But overall it has been getting better now that I have taken a step back, I'm on my journey to finally be myself and no matter how much I can't believe anything about this I am truly starting to gain happiness.

Great post.  I'm starting hormones next week and really want to sprint towards my goal.  However, we all need to be prepared for that it takes time and patience is required. 

I'm glad things are progressively getting better.  You seem to be growing into your female self fairly quickly.  And I must say, I love how your hair is growing in :)

Your so right. Hormones are a wild ride. It's part of why we sign up for it

Quote from: Tristan on June 06, 2013, 01:27:33 PM
Your so right. Hormones are a wild ride. It's part of why we sign up for it

You know how people are always saying "I didn't sign up for this poop!", well I intend to sign up for it.

Quote from: Naomi on June 06, 2013, 01:30:18 PM
You know how people are always saying "I didn't sign up for this poop!", well I intend to sign up for it.

It's ok . I didn't either . After like two years though it gets better some.

I honestly had no clue what exactly to expect and it has been very interesting so far lol

Quote from: JuliaVB on June 06, 2013, 01:46:48 PM
I honestly had no clue what exactly to expect and it has been very interesting so far lol

It's fun. Your going to enjoy most of what's to come :)

Also just about at the five-month mark, and yeah, at about the exact same phase myself... that phase where after a near-complete emotional meltdown about how damned slow everything was going along, suddenly one morning I looked in the mirror and realized "holy crap, I can actually see my female self emerging!"

Hold on... these next 3-4 months are going to be really fun... everyone says that they are the period with some of the most significant changes in skin texture, facial structure, and overall feminization, and 7-8 is when a LOT of people start to get misgendered.

Soon...both of you will notice how soft your skin is...and you'll start caressing yourself...and then you'll realize you've been caressing yourself because it feels soooo goooood...

...errr...excuse me for a moment...;)

Quote from: Beth Andrea on June 06, 2013, 02:46:51 PM
Soon...both of you will notice how soft your skin is...and you'll start caressing yourself...and then you'll realize you've been caressing yourself because it feels soooo goooood...

...errr...excuse me for a moment...;)

*Ahem* Seeing as Beth is indisposed...

Yep. 4.2-ish months is just about when things really start happening. So, if you can hold on that long, it's a veritable oasis of self-confidence in the desert or dysphoria, and well worth stopping to take a sip.

Dressed up today and my friends were telling me how feminine I look....I loved it :D

I hope everyone is right for you and me both Julia.  I was just exploring my changes this morning and it felt the same.  I dream of hitting 'male fail' but, after getting misgendered at a Starbucks Weds (wearing a skirt and all)  I keep preparing myself for the possible reality that, my day may never come.

I look much the same... :'(

(I know in other posts I "revel" in not passing.  Doesn't mean I don't want it...)

Best of luck Julia!  I so know what it feels like.  Lets hang in there together, eh?

We can do it, it's only a matter of time until they really start kicking in! I don't think I'll go back as male a whole lot now, it was fun yesterday :)

Quote from: JuliaVB on June 07, 2013, 11:24:52 AM
We can do it, it's only a matter of time until they really start kicking in! I don't think I'll go back as male a whole lot now, it was fun yesterday :)

Quote from: Misato on June 07, 2013, 10:05:46 AM
I hope everyone is right for you and me both Julia.  I was just exploring my changes this morning and it felt the same.  I dream of hitting 'male fail' but, after getting misgendered at a Starbucks Weds (wearing a skirt and all)  I keep preparing myself for the possible reality that, my day may never come.

I look much the same... :'(

(I know in other posts I "revel" in not passing.  Doesn't mean I don't want it...)

Best of luck Julia!  I so know what it feels like.  Lets hang in there together, eh?

Hey, you guys have a few months under your belt.  Plus, you have the ability to present outside as yourself.  Your lucky.  I still have to wait a few days before I even start hrt.  Damn my jealousy  ;)

Quote from: learningtolive on June 07, 2013, 11:30:11 AM
Hey, you guys have a few months under your belt.  Plus, you have the ability to present outside as yourself.  Your lucky.  I still have to wait a few days before I even start hrt.  Damn my jealousy  ;)

Trust me even though its slow, excruciatingly if you aren't patient with it, it'll be so worth it in the end. Remember to celebrate all the milestones you make, big or small and live in the present and don't expect too much at first.

Oh the joys of hormones...

It was all started by a conversation with one of my friends about how my passport / visa images make friends and family worry whether they'll ever let me through security. Let's just say I tend to look slightly grim on those things... ;D So yesterday I posted a bunch of pictures on FB, basically 3 sets, presenting as male on all of them (at least officially):

• compilation of my driver's license / passport / visa pictures over the years, as well as two more recent images (one prior to starting HRT, the other one after 3.5 months)
• comparison of my clothing style, one from 2006, the other taken yesterday (in skinny jeans and a hoodie, just shy of 4 months of HRT)
• changed my profile picture to yet another one that I took yesterday, where I look rather younger than my almost 40 years

I received a lot of very positive comments complimenting me on how young I look etc., including posts accusing me of keeping paintings in the attic. The fun started when a friend of my mother's (whom I happen to be "friends" with on FB as well -- he's an artist and I get to see his projects :P) gave her a phone call and said: "You urgently need to talk to your son, his facebook pictures look like he's leaving his old life behind and getting a sex-change." Okay... :o So I am guessing that he's seen quite a few transitions before, as I wouldn't think it THAT obvious* (and an FTM friend confirmed that he would not have guessed, even though he is perforce steeped in the topic). Still, it does serve as a reminder that the hormones are changing quite a few things, and that at some stage only those people whom we interact with regularly will not notice... Methinks I may need to "man it up" a bit for the office until I formally go full time. ;)


* = as I'm out to my mother, and she's fine with it, she just grinned on the phone and listened intently, adding the appropriate noises of "oh", "that's interesting", "you don't say" ;)

Quote from: Theo on June 07, 2013, 07:15:55 PM
The fun started when a friend of my mother's (whom I happen to be "friends" with on FB as well -- he's an artist and I get to see his projects :P) gave her a phone call and said: "You urgently need to talk to your son, his facebook pictures look like he's leaving his old life behind and getting a sex-change."

My best friend told me that pretty much everyone I know thinks I am getting a sex change. Even people I know tangentially. Nobody says anything other then "So how have you been?" Well my one friend said "Well aren't you getting really pretty." I haven't been on HRT all that long so I thought I would have longer before anyone noticed anything. I love it but I am really worried about work.

Quote from: Beth Andrea on June 06, 2013, 02:46:51 PM
Soon...both of you will notice how soft your skin is...and you'll start caressing yourself...and then you'll realize you've been caressing yourself because it feels soooo goooood...

...errr...excuse me for a moment...;)

I second that! 3 weeks in and I already find myself doing that lol. Oh well better for my partner then :P She will like this.
I am glad my skin has changed, it's definitely not a race though but I know how hard it is to feel like everything is. I'm needing to just calm down sometimes and realize it's no race. I've lived so much of my life in the wrong mode, I can deal with it for a bit longer