Susan's Place Transgender Resources

like for example an MTF going from Paul to Paula, Jesse to Jessica
FTM going from - Natalie to Nate, Samantha to Sam
It may be quite fortunate because people around you only have to adjust a little as the name will be close to your birth name unlike a complete change.

Or are there any trans people here who were lucky to be born with a unisex name and did not have to change it. If you had a unisex name but still decided to change, I would be curious to know why.( No need to say the birth name)).

I know someone who was called Jamie (FTM) and did not have to change their name, I thought he was so  lucky.

Yes, I suppose I am one of those lucky persons, though I am not particularly fond of it :P. Seeing that my SRS is still pretty far ahead, I cannot get my legal name changed at the moment - it can happen only after SRS (yes, we have stupid laws here - unless I would be feeling adventurous and decide to challenge the constitutionality of that provision before our court...).

Well, I am really torn between Emma and Emily. Both are close to my male name, with Emily being closer, but I sort of like Emma a bit more :P. Maybe I could be Emma Emily, although that sounds just ... meh.. :)

Yes I have one. Christopher is very close to Christine and I can keep my nick name of Chris.

I won't legally change my name until I start and move far enough along with HRT to present as female. I think that if I start early next year that I can do that by that by early 2015.

I don't know if I'd call it lucky though. A lot of people here talk about wanting to change their name to something completely different while their family wishes them to keep their birth name.

I adopted my feminine name about age 4 and I chose it because I thought it was pretty. There were variants on by legal name but I didn't like any of them and wanted something completely different.

I have never liked "feminized male names" and if I had children I would NEVER have called my girls by such a name. Personal preference. There are way too many pretty feminine names to go with a variation on a male name.

I have one but would never use it - now that I have a chance to pick I'm picking something I've always liked.  A short variance in your name isn't going to make anything more comfortable for anyone else I don't think.  The only example I can think of is the example given above - Chris to Christine is still Chris on the short.  I'm sure there are others but, if you've found yourself not so lucky go with something you already like.  To me it wasn't even a choice - to me it's been Terri for as long as I can remember.

I was not lucky enough to be born with a unisex name, or one that could be changed over easily :( My old name was Duran, inspired by the old word "durant" and also by the band Duran Duran. :/
and it is pronounced "Duran". not "Derin" or "Durrin" hahaha people messed that up so bad before my transition.

So i browsed through baby girl names and found Accalia. that is my name :) I identified with it immediately, and now it is legally changed :D so happy! by the way....it is pronounced with a soft C sound, making "ah-SAY-leah" rather than "ackalia" or the like.

Pronunciation has got to be the most difficult thing in names :P whew haha

I will say this: Being able to go by a gender neutral nickname is invaluable during the 'in-between' stage of transition. No matter what gender folks think I am, my name won't break that illusion.

I decided to change for one simple reason: Separation. Much better to have a new name associated with the new me. :)

My male name has a female variant, but unfortunately i have a female family member with that name so using it was out of the question. Since that was the case I decided to go with a completely different girl name to make a clean delineation between myself as a boy and myself as a girl.

To be honest, even if my name had a female variant, I wouldn't have wanted it.

No

Thank all you for your input :angel:, interesting answers.

QuoteBeing able to go by a gender neutral nickname is invaluable during the 'in-between' stage of transition.

Ditto, at that stage it can really be an advantage.

The full spelling of my name, No.  The short spelling of it yes by adding two letters to the end.

However, there is no way (in that proverbial way) that I would have ever considered using any variation of my given name.

My birth name did not translate very well to a male version. But I wouldn't say that I was "unlucky" for it.

Quite frankly I was getting sick of being called by it and welcomed a chance to change it to something completely different. But I suppose since I don't have a lot of family/friends/acquaintances and didn't work at the time that I transitioned, people weren't a concern.

Having a name that doesn't transfer well is also a good "excuse" to change it to something that you like more- so hey, I won out there.

I can't say that it's lucky since I really hate the female variant of it. That and everybody is expecting me to use it, but I don't plan on it. I do have a name that I like, but I'm not about to start using it until I really start to transition.

I suppose my birth name had something like that. Not a literal variation, but a close enough sound to a somewhat common male name. I didn't like it for me, however. I did make sure my new name shared the same initial as the old though. I just wouldn't have felt right without it.

It's only lucky to have a ready made opposite gender version of your brith name if it's one you like. Like Shodan pointed out, it can get annoying when people keep bringing it up as an expected choice.

My name is anyway exotic and undecipherable for people except Koreans. Recently I booked airplane tickets and hotel abroad. They attached 'Ms.' before my surname. I did not request it, but they seemed to do that based on my photo in the passport, although my passport clearly states 'M' in the sex column. I am not quite sure whether I should correct it when getting the boarding pass.

barbie~~

I had one of those names (one of the ones included in the original post, in fact), but I chose not to use it. I went with what female name would have been given to me at birth, instead -- though if I didn't like it, I probably wouldn't have used it. Some times I question if my decision to use my would-be birth name is still meaningful in that light, haha.

Yeah I have a very male sounding name with a very female sounding female variant by adding one letter a Y or an "ie." A lot of people call me by the femalized version without asking and it used to really annoy me since they were essentially saying they don't see me as very male when I was trying to be. I am thinking about just changing my name to it as it would be much easier. With the male one on my BC it couldn't be mistaken for female.

No my name was Greek and Jewish.

I have an androgynous name, luckily. I'm well known in my professional life so I decided to keep my first name and adopt a feminine spelling. The nice side-effect of this is that it won't be so hard for family and friends to learn how to properly address me-- pronouns are hard enough it seems...

I told my parents my plan regarding my first name. When I visit them next time I'm going to ask them to give me a new middle name. I think that's a nice way of honoring them and making them a part of the journey.

No, but I was able to change my name to an ambiguous (sound and spelling) one just by deleting 6 letters. I didn't realise it wasn't so easy to change your name in countries other than the UK. Count my blessings.

I did but I didn't use it I went with an entirely different name. Partly because I disliked the name Martin, and despised the name Martine even more.

Ended up with Alice eventually.

Nope, I was born as Veerle (a typical Dutch name, this will be the only time I say it. I really don't like it that much...), and it cannot be turned into a male counterpart. (lots of female ones though *sigh*)
And my second name is Bella (which I like better, because I associated it with a guy as a kid, which still sort of stuck), but that one doesn't have a male counterpart either (gah, I'm so lucky!)
How I eventually got to Erik... ahhh, well, that's a story for another time! ;)

Kinda' sorta' after a little thinking and a couple of Uturns.

Yes, I have a female version of my name that is fairly close to the male version, and also one that I feel comfortable using. It fits, if that makes sense.

I got lucky, I guess, as both my first and middle name have direct feminine counterparts, and I'm planning to use them too...

Actually I was uncertain with my first name initially, until I found out from my mother that it was the planned name for me until I ended up being identified male at birth (grave error dear doctor, grave error  :laugh:)

I think I've finally settled on a first name: Elizabeth.
It... at least starts with the same letter as my birth name, and it flows well with my last. Better than Erika would.

I could turn Lauren into Laurence, but I don't like the fact that the whole sound of my birth name is in it. Luke is similar enough without being the same.

Luke is nice. (Also Laurence is 100 % female in French; it's the female version of Laurent, so if you care about how it is in other languages, then even better choice!)

This is actually something we thought about when naming our kids, and we tried to give them unisex names.

I do, but I don't think I will take any of the female forms that I can. I am looking at some different one I like.

No, my birth name is archaic & unquestionably female and it has no male equivalent. But that's OK, because my mother once confided in me that she'd been convinced during her pregnancy that she was carrying another son so my parents initially chose a male name for me; they had to discard that when I was AFAB. So when I changed my name during my transition, I went back to the original boy's name they'd chosen for me. ;D

I wanted absolutely nothing to do with that horrible birth name my parents gave me. I see it as a symbol of the abuse I suffered for many years, with people imposing on me a female identity that I never wanted. I was very glad to get rid of it.

No, I'd never have gone with any of the female versions of my male name - they tend to be a little pretentious sounding..

On the other hand, my new name is somewhat unisex..

Quote from: JoW on June 15, 2013, 04:16:44 PM
No, but I was able to change my name to an ambiguous (sound and spelling) one just by deleting 6 letters.

Only 6?  :laugh:

Quote from: Erik Ezrin on June 19, 2013, 01:23:58 PM

And my second name is Bella (which I like better, because I associated it with a guy as a kid, which still sort of stuck),

Bella? Where did you get male with that?  :laugh:

(https://encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRMyn1AnzOmupcRainKjsVZecQtb_HGsjFoIHcTAbf7VHIZCeJ3)

I was =)  Cody totally neutral makes me smile still go by both sophie and cody only changing my middle name legally.

Yeah I can say I'm lucky. My name is Dominic and most people see that as the male variant of course the female variant being Dominique. The funny part is through out my life people always put a urban slang to the name so it comes out sounding like the female variant, then they ask me which one is it. I just chuckle and say It doesn't matter.

My original name was unisex, but most people associated it as female. I was going to keep it, but I had to change my middle name anyway, so now it's my middle name and I have a more masculine first name. I also despise the more masculine forms of my old name.

Its unisex, but most people think of it as female, so Ill change my name to a similar sounding masculine name.

Quote from: Marvel on June 14, 2013, 01:48:11 AM
like for example an MTF going from Paul to Paula, Jesse to Jessica
FTM going from - Natalie to Nate, Samantha to Sam
It may be quite fortunate because people around you only have to adjust a little as the name will be close to your birth name unlike a complete change.

Or are there any trans people here who were lucky to be born with a unisex name and did not have to change it. If you had a unisex name but still decided to change, I would be curious to know why.( No need to say the birth name)).

I know someone who was called Jamie (FTM) and did not have to change their name, I thought he was so  lucky.

My birth name is Andrew. Everyone called me Andy, which can be a girl's name as well (a friend started spelling my name Andi when she heard that I was MtF).

But I chose a female name because I wanted a whole new identity and the ability to choose my name.

My new middle name will be Alexandra which is similar to my birth name.

Out of curiosity, why are you changing your last name?
To me, it seems a little extreme.

Quote from: Shodan on June 22, 2013, 05:13:33 PM
Out of curiosity, why are you changing your last name?
To me, it seems a little extreme.

I plan to change my last name as well. For me, it's because I feel alienated by my family and don't want to associate with them. I may also choose to move locations and go stealth some day and I think it would be easier with a last name that severs ties to my past.

No but I was lucky to not have to pick a name cuz mine picked me a loooong time ago. I have always been Stefani. My sister says she remembers me calling myself that even when we were little. Its just who I am!

But I did have to think up a middle name. It's Olivia. I am having them both changed soon and may end up taking my grandmothers maiden name as my last name as well....

QuoteBella? Where did you get male with that?  :laugh:

Lolol, yeah, I wonder that now too, but it's a bit of a long story.
Anyway, it started with a dog of my friend who had that name (no, she wasn't male either) which I really loved as a kid. Eventually she died, I was heartbroken, and named my favourite plush dog Bella. Somehow I wasn't quite aware that it was a female name, or just couldn't see it as such. My parents called him (= my plush dog) always "she" and I would get upset, saying "It's a boy" "but HER name is a the one of a girl!" and so on.
Later I named my RS account Bella Kohler (as a whole), and he has been a guy all of his digital life (some people thought I started out as a girl, 'cause of the name), so I really started to see it as a sort of gender-neutral name, even though it isn't.
Now I feel so stupid for not picking a male name, as that name has a personal value for me, but I really dislike that it's female...

EDIT: I made a pic of him in swimming trunks a while ago, might be nice to see;
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ffc05.deviantart.net%2Ffs71%2Fi%2F2013%2F151%2F9%2F0%2Fbella_the_beagle_by_asrath-d679439.jpg&hash=7cba769615f942286071d7b98b0debd1bd6ee012)

Quote from: Erik Ezrin on June 23, 2013, 03:21:09 AM
Now I feel so stupid for not picking a male name, as that name has a personal value for me, but I really dislike that it's female...

Don't feel stupid! Picking a name with personal value is totally valid. And Bella totally is a gender neutral name. When I hear it, I always think of Bella Lugosi.

Well Tom could be Tammi or Thomasina (if I were a transsexual cat). I never liked the name Tom. It sounds like an elastic band getting plucked. My new North American friends here won't know what I'm talking about as you tend to give the name a right good stretching.

Two words: Bela Lugosi.
If anybody tells you that Bella is  a girl's name, throw Bela Lugosi right back at them. Though, now that I think about it, if they're under the age of 20, they'll have no idea who you're talking about.

Quote from: E-Brennan on June 19, 2013, 08:03:39 PM
Yes, I have a female version of my name that is fairly close to the male version, and also one that I feel comfortable using. It fits, if that makes sense.

My birth name is Ashley and though I hate that name with a passion Ash fits me so I go by Ashton. Well sort of, I introduce myself as such and even though I'd like people to start using it to help me pass more often (though they don't know that, passing) they are lazy and even new people just say Ash after the introduction. But Ashton feels like it fits my personality beautifully.

On a side note. My birth name was a male name and has turned into a neutral name. I was told this a couple times growing up and that my dad's mom fought with my mother when they named me. Complaining that it was a boys name and something about Gone with the Wind or something. Later my grandma sent me hate mail when she found out I'm trans. She complained about the name Ashley saying I wouldn't have to change my name because it's a boys name...and how she hated it from the beginning.
Once while house hunting I introduced myself as Ashton to this lady. She opened the door smiling and gestured over to granddaughter "you ladies have the same name". DX  I corrected her on the "ladies" part but she wouldn't have it. I'm a little frightened at the thought that Ashton might be the new Ashley. Then again she's the only one I've ever heard of and Ashton fits me too damn well to imagine being named anything else.

I am kinda lucky. My middle name always has been, and always will be, Tyler. My first name is female but there are male variations. I'm going to go with Lorence as a legal first name because its similar. I like going by Lance though, its simple and, to me, cool. I've also gone by.l.t. by most of my family.

Fair enough.

Yup. It only required to change the last letter. ;D
My old middle name was completely feminine, though without a masculine variant.

Quote from: Tossu-sama on June 28, 2013, 05:31:00 AM
Yup. It only required to change the last letter. ;D
My old middle name was completely feminine, though without a masculine variant.

That's what my wife did with her nickname. It's now going to be her middle name. Her male birth name, however, was totally unique... and totally masculine. :/

My birthname was technically unisex (albeit generally female, at least in modern times), but I hated it with such a flaming passion that it didn't matter, because I started going by "Diane" in middle school just to get away from my birth name. When I came out as trans, I did a lot of digging for a male equivalent before landing on Deyan (pronounced "Day-on"), which is my name now.

I had never thought of it before, I just now thought it out and it turns out the first had a feminine counterpart and the middle has different spelling however there is no earthly way I would have done that.  It simply was not me. I was asked by my therapist what was my name, I took it under consideration and while I was walking down the street, the name came to me, both the first and middle were entirely different from what were my birth names. I later had the middle one changed to one given to me by a friend and my last one was changed to a completely different one at my parents request as the disowned me due to my transition.

Yes, since my birth name is James, but Jamie wasn't really an option since my girlfriend's dad is named Jamie and that would have been hella awkward. Besides I want a bigger change than that. Still not fully decided on a name but I kinda wanted to stick with a J name so I'm trying on Jessica and I seem to like it :)

I guess, actually didn't know until today. Anyways, if I ever transition, I will just change from Matthew, to Mattie, since I kind of want to keep the name my parents chose for me. But just because I like it, and people have asked if I had a nickname they could call me, I will just have people start calling me Mattie, wouldn't seem to weird either, because I know a lot of people who use a shorter version of their name.

Also, don't think many people actually know that Mattie is kind of considered a girl name, so people probably wouldn't know that I am asking them to call me a feminine name, the spelling I could just explain as me liking different spellings(I really do).

I've been going back and forth on this very issue. My first name is a very popular one and can be unisex (although I've only met one guy who had my name). My middle name does have a male equivalent and my mother told me that if I had been born a boy I would have it for a first name...so I decided to honor that. However, I have mixed feelings about it. It's a very traditional name and not really my cup of tea. I picked my new middle name from a list of common boys' names on the US social security name list. I didn't want to get too creative, really.

My last name is going to be the hard part. I have a very unique surname and I am strongly considering changing it just so that I can transition without it following me around. I'm not a fan of it and don't really want to hand it down to any future spouse or kids.

Anyone else deal with issues with last names/surnames? Or am I just a nut? :P

Sadly Thor doesnt have a female Variant.  So I chose Teela.

A number of Greek names can cut both ways.  Mine 'stavros' means 'The Cross' (as in crucifix).  We say in Greek, "kani to stavrosou" which means "cross yourself" in a gesture of warding against evil, or supplication to God.  The feminine variation is "Stavroula".  I use that word when I'm in the female mode.  Other names are George and Georgina, Louie and Louisa, Dimitros and Dimitra (Jim is the male variation--Dimitros). 

I had a birth name with a feminine variant & didn't consider myself lucky to have it. I was christened Nicholas which has the shortened version of Nicky, my mum always called me by this shortened version & I hated it, every time I heard it being used I cringed inside as every time I heard it I felt like someone was poking an open wound.
By early teens i'd gotten my mum to drop this variant but then when my parents divorced she met a man with the same name as me so to avoid confusion she resorted to calling me Nicky again.
Almost a year after changing my name by deed poll i'm still struggling to get my mum to use my new name & not THAT name as I truly hate it.

Quote from: Jayne on July 03, 2013, 06:36:07 AM
<snip>...has the shortened version of Nicky, my mum always called me by this shortened version & I hated it, every time I heard it being used I cringed inside as every time I heard it I felt like someone was poking an open wound....<snip>

I'd be curious to hear more -- and hope there's been something great, ultimately, that came of a childhood wound....

Myself: I know the feeling of having an open wound poked at.  For me--that was shame about sports.  A freeze reaction to a football.  Shame about speedo bathers (I got over this one as an adult with athletic/fitness/health and turned body shame to body pride by working on myself).  I've thought, often, about teaching myself to love sports.  I think that would really seal over the last of childhood hauntings....


cheers
stav

Quote from: stavraki on July 03, 2013, 06:43:52 AM
I'd be curious to hear more -- and hope there's been something great, ultimately, that came of a childhood wound....

I knew at around 8yrs old that I wanted to be one of the girls, every time I was called Nicky it reminded me of what I wasn't. At that time I didn't know that such a thing as trans existed & thought I must be gay, my father was very homophobic so I copied my older brothers to act male but would sneak off to my neighbours house to play with her dolls.
At senior school I went through a phase where I would get into fights with anyone who used the female variant of my name, possibly this was a release from the tension by the fact that I couldn't lash out at my parents even though I wanted to.

I'd love to be able to find a positive spin on the hurt that came from having this open emotional wound poked on a daily basis but I can't for the life of me see anything good about the experience.

Quote from: Jayne on July 03, 2013, 07:03:42 AM
I knew at around 8yrs old that I wanted to be one of the girls, every time I was called Nicky it reminded me of what I wasn't. At that time I didn't know that such a thing as trans existed & thought I must be gay, my father was very homophobic so I copied my older brothers to act male but would sneak off to my neighbours house to play with her dolls.
At senior school I went through a phase where I would get into fights with anyone who used the female variant of my name, possibly this was a release from the tension by the fact that I couldn't lash out at my parents even though I wanted to.

I'd love to be able to find a positive spin on the hurt that came from having this open emotional wound poked on a daily basis but I can't for the life of me see anything good about the experience.

I hear ya -

I'm reminded of my father - whose disgust at his son would 'vomit' up in bile and rage for the son he didn't get from me.  I used to evoke his disgust.  I look back and realise that he may well have been gay himself, or that someone beat him, back in time, when he needed, instead, to be held and loved.  Too late, he was warped by abuse--and he brought it to his family.

He got, instead, a son, who got stuck into books, science, language--and who defied the shame by loving big and loving good.  Though--I'm still mopping up the mess left behind too.  From the battles with my family as a vigorous, bucking youth (some core of me knew remained unbroken), there did come, eventually, a new dawn on us all.  Battle weary.  Hurt, and after nearly all losing each other, the love of my mum's great heart prevailed.  She's 73 and her discoveries are only five years old.

kind regards to u :)
stav

Quote from: Jayne on July 03, 2013, 06:36:07 AM
I had a birth name with a feminine variant & didn't consider myself lucky to have it. I was christened Nicholas which has the shortened version of Nicky, my mum always called me by this shortened version & I hated it, every time I heard it being used I cringed inside as every time I heard it I felt like someone was poking an open wound.
By early teens i'd gotten my mum to drop this variant but then when my parents divorced she met a man with the same name as me so to avoid confusion she resorted to calling me Nicky again.
Almost a year after changing my name by deed poll i'm still struggling to get my mum to use my new name & not THAT name as I truly hate it.

My name has a female abbreviated form as well and I was often teased with it for being a little feminine when I was younger and even though I know realize it is just who I am the damage was done. I like the name, but I could never call myself that. It would hurt too much and bring back old wounds. I understand that emotion very well.

My old name just didn't really fit me. So I changed it to something that reflected my culture!

:angel:

Oh . . Lucky? I would say for some it's lucky, to have a variant of your name that works. For me, not quite so lucky! Because while it exists, the feminine variant of my name is barely distinguishable by pronunciation, OR spelling, and most would just think I am saying the masculine name. Also, I've hated- truly despised my first name for so long, I want nothing even similar to it!

My middle name is another story! It's masculine (as is my last name, go figure~), and it has a variant that is just fine, it's just too bad my middle name was the source of quite a bit of early childhood teasing, so now I don't want THAT either. My last name is of course out, as it's my last name, and very masculine.

So far, my parents have not mentioned the female variations of my name as options, in fact names have barely been anything that's been uttered. The only response I've gotten is, "that's a weird name" from one of my parents. I really hope they don't bring up the female variants, because middle name is cursed for me now, and my first name, female variant or not, sounds masculine and reminds me far too much of the hatred I've held towards my birth name.


Though, I am curious~  :icon_confused2: Say, I wanted to change my last name in the end, to my grandmother's maiden name, would that actually be bad? Saw some mention of such being mentioned earlier in this thread. I guess it would depend on how my parents are, but I am more wondering from a general point of view, or just from the folks around here. I don't want to hurt my family by changing it, but I also kind of don't want to keep it at the same time, first of all it's masculine, my mother has a new surname of which I do not share, but I would technically still be taking a family surname, that rings well in the ear too. Don't mean to stray too far off-topic, if this seems so, I just read the earlier bits and figured since we're on the topic of names, why not?  :P

Last names may sound masculine, but remember that they apply to men and women in equal numbers, so you shouldn't worry about it.

So, uhm, if you want to change it... well, you can, but keep in mind that someone changing their family name usually does so because they have a serious reason. For example, they're in very, very bad terms with their family. It sends a strong message. If you change your last name, be prepared to have your family react badly, and have people think you've forsaken your family forever.

Hmm, My birth name is "Edward". Everyone calls me "Eddie". I think the female version(s) are "Ede", :Eddy", "Edy", & "Edie". Am I wrong? Am I missing some?

Edweena!

Quote from: Jamie D on July 10, 2013, 11:05:54 PM
Edweena!

Really?
Sounds like something that kids would call me at school. Not that it bothers me, its just the way they can turn simple words into insults.
Never heard of it.
Interesting...
Very interesting...

I agree with many of the other people in this thread. My birth name is Christopher. I go by Chris. Could I change it to a female variant of Chris... sure, but ultimately I think I need to finish killing the familiarity of my past. Sometimes you just have to burn the house down to rebuild something better. So I have chosen Amber Skye __(lastname)___

I like the nature aspect of it, and I found it while I was rummaging through some stuff and found my baby book. Plus I don't know any Ambers so it's perfect!

Quote from: AmberSkyeArisen on July 11, 2013, 05:06:50 AM
I agree with many of the other people in this thread. My birth name is Christopher. I go by Chris. Could I change it to a female variant of Chris... sure, but ultimately I think I need to finish killing the familiarity of my past. Sometimes you just have to burn the house down to rebuild something better. So I have chosen Amber Skye __(lastname)___

I like the nature aspect of it, and I found it while I was rummaging through some stuff and found my baby book. Plus I don't know any Ambers so it's perfect!

Hmm, I like it. Amber is a really nice color, too :)

Yeah, no.  Though the plus side is I got to choose a completely new name that really means something to me personally.  Given how much I've started hating hearing my birth name over the last few years, that's something I probably would have done anyway.

I honestly didn't expect to settle on a name as quickly as I did.  I'd heard the name 'Kai' a few months before admitting to myself that I was trans, and thought at the time that I'd love to have that name if I was a guy.  Then I found it out it's a German name as well as Japanese, and that kinda sealed the deal.  I mean, how often can that occur with those two languages?  Pretty different phonetic systems. (and there I go, being a linguist again >_>)

I still don't know what to do with my middle name.  It's also definitively female.  I kind of want to keep my initials, but I don't like many male names that start with that letter, so I may not.  I've got time, I guess.  It's not like I tell many people my middle name anyway.

I could easily have changed my birth name to a well-accepted female variant simply by adding an A to the end of it, but I chose not to. I never liked the name, but even if I had liked it, I wouldn't have chosen to stick with it. I decided it would be best to have a complete change of name to something unmistakably feminine, something which could never be confused for a masculine name.

In my opinion, when trying to communicate with a person over the phone, that person may have already decided you might be a guy by the sound of your voice, and if you say your name is Lesley (Leslie) or Frances (Francis) for example, that person is forced to rely on their ears. In the early days of transition it is very important to be percieved as belonging to ones preferred correct gender.

My advice will always be to chose a feminine name that cannot be misheard as possibly being a masculine name.



I am fortunate, my voice passes very easily on the telephone as feminine. In fact, by sheer coincidence, a few moments ago our phone rang and I answered it. There was a woman on the other end who asked if I was Yvonne. Just in case I had heard it incorrectly I asked her to repeat the name but she hung up.

I have a funny story about my name.

I am a first-generation Chinese American immigrant, so that means that my name is pretty much unlike any typical "American" name, with one HUGE CAVEAT: When correctly pronounced, it sounds the same as a certain Western female name. I had immigrated before I was in preschool, and when I was about to start kindergarten, someone told me that my name sounded like a girl's name. Wanting to avoid being teased as a boy who had a girl's name, I "corrected" everyone from that point forward so that people would pronounce it a different way, an incorrect but less girly-sounding way.

You can see the irony when I had the epiphany about being trans a couple of years ago. So now, I no longer "correct" people, though I still introduce myself with the pronunciation that I've been using for the past two decades, simply because I feel too accustomed to it to change. I don't tell people who already know me to pronounce my name any differently, either.

I wasn't, really but it's alright for me because I don't want my name to sound anything like my birth name. My birth name being Hannah, I suppose the closest masculine name would be Harry, but I don't think that name suits me. Since I was very young I have preferred the name Mordicai. The only problem with that name now is that now every time someone hears that name they say "Like Mordecai and Rigby?!" And I just sigh and say "No, first of all, it's spelled differently. Second, that cartoon has not existed long enough for me to be named after it."

Quote from: The_Suit on July 17, 2013, 12:21:14 PM
I wasn't, really but it's alright for me because I don't want my name to sound anything like my birth name. My birth name being Hannah, I suppose the closest masculine name would be Harry, but I don't think that name suits me. Since I was very young I have preferred the name Mordicai. The only problem with that name now is that now every time someone hears that name they say "Like Mordecai and Rigby?!" And I just sigh and say "No, first of all, it's spelled differently. Second, that cartoon has not existed long enough for me to be named after it."

If it helps any, I didn't think of Regular Show, when you said "Mordicai"! I think it's a cool name. I think what's important, is how the name sounds to your ears, if you can envision it as being 'you', then it should be a good choice! Just because people are silly, doesn't mean a lot. Eventually, Regular Show will be a thing of the past.

Yeah but I'm not gonna use it, lol

My son's name is Christopher, but he is known as Chris. When I transitioned I remember thinking how easier it would have been for me (and my friends) if my name had been Christopher and and I had been known known as Chris so I could have changed my name to Christine. However, I realised that it would have been a real problem for me because after transition people would have continued to call me Chris and I would not have had the confirmation that they had accepted my transition. Also they might have continued to think of me as the old Chris - the masculine version.

As it was, when I transitioned there were supportive people who tried to remember to always call me Caroline. They slipped up occasionally and apologised for using my old name, but eventually they got it right without having to think about it.

Then there were those who clearly didn't agree with what I had done and were determined to hurt me by not using my new name. Thankfully most of those didn't call me by any name.

But what a joy it was for me as one by one even those people also started calling me Caroline. I felt that was a real achievement, and one I would not have experienced had my name been gender neutral.

Once I moved to another job and no-one knew my past, I was finally able to leave my past behind.

Caroline x

I did not. My birth name is kinda unisex, but it's extremely rare for a girl to have it. There's a famous actress with my birth name, but even then most people would think she has a guy's name. I changed my name entirely to Catherine, after my grandmother.

I wouldn't like to have a name that's easily transmuted from male to female and vice versa. Makes it too easy for people to figure out what your original name was.

My middle name is unisex, but it just doesn't feel like it fits me. My first name is female-only, but the middle syllable can be a male nickname (hint hint), so I'm thinking of going with that.

It would depend what one considers lucky, or acceptable, I suppose. 

My former name was Valorie.  As I understand it, in a few countries there is a masculine variant.  (Val, Valery, Valėre, Valerios & Valério)  None of those choices was terribly appealing & where I live, would likely never be considered masculine.

That aside, 95%+ of the people I met or know insisted upon calling me Val & opting for a masculine variant wouldn't change that.  The sound of Val passing their lips sounds like nails on a chalk board to my ears.   >:-)

I've noticed more of the guys are iffy about disclosing their birth names than the women are, lol. Meh, I'm so disconnected to my old name (legally changed it over 11 years ago) that it doesn't even feel like it was ever mine to begin with. My name was Dawn which I could have changed to Don, Dean, Dane, Dale, etc but I wanted to get away from it at the time. I thought if I chose anything similar at all the old name would always be associated with me.

The only bad feelings I ever had against my birth name was the reason why it was given to me. Long Jerry Springer story turned short, my dad was caught cheating by my mom. She burned his clothes in a barrel...whole nine yards. They were finished. Months later he smooth talks her into another chance and says he'll give her another child. That is where "Dawn" comes in..."a new beginning". Gag me with a spoon, lol.

I was (at least the shortened version of it), but I'm not going to use it. I'm changing all 3. Dramatic/too much you ask? I say no. I have a brother, so he can keep the surname going (which is actually VERY rare; we might be the only family + 1 other family with the name in the US, and maybe only 3 other small families somewhere is Europe..). Even if I kept it, I don't want kids, so the non existent kids won't get it. Middle name, very masculine. I never liked my first name.

Now, like Barbie, I too have a Korean name that I go by (sometimes), but it too is masculine. So basically, changing to a completely female Korean name some time in the future without an English "nickname." BUT the Korean last name is my family's last name in Korea. Go figure.   (adopted..if you were confused).

I asked my mom a few times over the years what she would have named me if I had been female. It was a common name. But she said by the time I was born she'd heard it so many times she got sick of it. Even though it was the name she wanted to give her daughter ever since she was a little girl. It probably would have been my name.

But I chose another name. I did, however, use my grandmother's name as my middle name (which makes sense if you knew the story I won't tell you :P) and I picked a family name for my last name.

Unfortunately, my chosen name is not legal. But maybe someday it will be.

I've never ever really liked my female name at all. Lately I can't tell if that's because I don't like how it sounds/how feminine it is or if it's because I'm reminded every time someone calls me by my name that I'm still female and they see me strictly as female, so in that sense I don't think I'm lucky at all :(. It's definitely getting to me more now that I know what I am. It took me a while before I decided on a male name I will be going as but I decided to avoid the names most ftm go for, apparently if I was going to be born a boy my mum had a name in mind for already, so when I do my legal stuff I'm going to go with what she wanted because that way it's not too random and it still has some meaning to it :)

Haha My name's actually Natalie, but I would never be able to go by Nathan. My best friend growing up since I was like 2 was Nathan. He was the first house on my road while I was the last, he had the same bleach white skin as me and the same dark black hair. We've always been around the same height and he's only about 9 months older than me. So growing up, he was always referred to as my male counterpart. We still talk even, so I don't think I could ever use his name.

The name I was born with was Billy Makali'i Brown. And though I had heard of a select few women going by the name Billie (spelled a little differently, at least that was the case for my great aunt) it didn't seem probable that anyone from my time period would think of it as anything other than a masculine name. Also, I have always hated that name, Billy, even long before I knew I was transgendered. And I hate it when people try to rhyme with it or mess with it in attempts to be funny, or call me bill, I especially hated that one. Long story short it has caused me a lot of grief. Conveniently however, my middle name is Hawaiian, and is pretty androgynous as far as anyone can tell. So I was actually able to start going by that name before coming out to anyone or anything like that.

I am using the variation of my name already...a lot of people already write it as such when I place orders or go somewhere so I think I'll just keep using it

Yes, I'm lucky in that my birth name has a masculine variant and I like it.  Both my first name and middle name can be easily masculinized.

Mine did but I would never use it because it would feel like there was no change. Changing my name is very symbolic to me and it really showed me who cared enough to make the effort.