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Please stay with me while I try to explain, might be long winded, may not even make sense.

For my entire life, it's been trivially easy to become aroused, more so when happy and otherwise feeling well. During times of depression or sadness, it rarely happens. And when I say aroused, I mean physically aroused more than anything. The physical reaction vastly outweighs any emotional feeling ( which may not even be there ). Triggers could be something visual, or a smell, or even just a thought. This even happened as a child before being even sexually aware.

At the same time, I've hated this my entire life, on account of being uncomfortable with the thing between my legs. I do try to avoid masturbating, keeping it to the minimum to avoid waking with with a messy dream. Now that I'm transitioning and starting to feel happy and positive, it's happening again. And I'm getting even more annoyed and frustrated by the physical reaction more than anything. HRT has helped to dull it, and it's not long lasting at all, but it's still present. Also, I used to have the usual morning wood, but that has stopped now with HRT.

With all this said, I want to feel this arousal after transition ( minus the appendage ), as I definitely see myself as a sexual woman. But until then I need to find a way to deal with it.

I've been trying to control this by diverting mental attention etc, but am having limited success. Triggers aside from the usual might be a brand new good looking blouse, or a nice perfume. Note, I'm sexually attracted to women and like all things feminine...

Are there any tricks you know of? Or how do you deal with this? I'd hate to be walking around in a department store just to have a nasty surprise!

From what I have heard HRT will eventually help you more there. But there is the chance at it won't finish the deal as it were for sometime or even at all.

Having been through the same thing since middle school I can recommend one trick. Learn to focus. Set your mind to a task that isn't related to your trigger. After I practiced this growing up I could avoid arousal by thinking about a math problem or to do list. It is like a passive distraction for that keeps things in check. It's not fool proof but without chemically killing the urge or releasing the tension its the best that I can think of.

Well the HRT will kill it eventually. Some people can still get erect when on HRT but spontaneous erections virtually disappear. I thought I would have this same problem because I am dressing pretty femme and flirting with men all the time  but luckily the HRT has been 100 percent effective and I don't get erect when I'm with this guy I have been being with though I wouldn't call him my BF. Yet lol

I'm not easily aroused but you can always try to mentally picture the most disgusting turn off that you can conjur in your mind. It may take practice though.

Quote from: Joanna Dark on June 18, 2013, 12:53:53 AM
Well the HRT will kill it eventually. Yet lol

Well if one doesn't do the sensible thingy and chop it off entirely . . .

. . . eventually 'erect' will be 'lil more than a over swollen clitoris anyway !!!

QuoteNote, I'm sexually attracted to women and like all things feminine...

Sounds like you "hate yer cake (lol see penis thread!) but wanna (use) to eat it too" ? ?

If you physically move (cleaning, dishes, etc.) it'll tend to go away a lot easier.

And it doesn't prevent arousal, but it greatly decreases the possible size of the erection and also the duration: tucking. It's a lifesaver.

(In case you don't know what tucking is, it essentially consists in pulling the penis behind, between the buttocks.)

But whatever you do, I don't think it can be entirely avoided. If it still happens pretty often, you could have your testosterone levels checked. If they're not down to almost nothing, it's normal to still have testosterone-drawn arousal.

Depends on how appropriate your HRT is. It's unlikely (although possible) that HRT that appropriately kills testosterone would increase that.

I know you are trying to keep things to a minimal as far as masturbation goes, but I find that it helps relieve some stress. That and it is the fastest way I can think of to get rid of it. On the other hand I know what it is like to hate what is down there.

I will use the term "male" here only in the sense of the birth physiology.

Male arousal is a rather complex psycho-physiological event.  In the case of nocturnal emissions, it can obviously happen without any sort of conscious or physical stimulation.

Arousal often involves cognitive as well as physiological processes - and may reflect instinctual "programming" within our species.  Certainly, one can learn to control one's thoughts, with practice.

Because arousal is almost always accompanied by an increase in blood pressure and heart rate, those who use medications to treat hypertension often suffer from some degree of impotence.

Male arousal is an indicator of health, especially for blood circulatory system.
Aged or sick men tend to have problems in arousal.

Barbie~~

For me, though, it's an alarming sign of a worsening mental health. :p

I don't think there is any way to avoid it completely.  Humans have a sex drive, as such, you will find yourself aroused at times.  This is the case for everyone.  Don't be ashamed or embarrassed about it.  You're normal for having those feelings.  HRT will likely diminish the physical arousal you want to be rid of, but it probably won't fully go away.  I've been on hrt for a very short time, but I'm already noticing that I feel more comfortable with my sexuality to some degree.  It's sort of weird, but my emotional arousal has been increasing with hrt.  Though I have noticed nothing changing in terms of the physical.  But it's been a short time, so it's unlikely for anything to change yet in that area.  In any event, you shouldn't feel bad about your feelings.  People like sex and desire it.  It's normal.  And this is coming from a major prude who still is pure as snow,lol.

I've never had the problem of becoming aroused in public or by objects, but I imagine taking your mind to another place may help you avoid.  If you want to avoid it while you are in public, try to take your mind off of sexy things.  ;)

I have a similar issue. I have been on hrt long enough to make everything shrink. So much so that it is really painful when I get aroused. So its almost like shock therapy for getting aroused. Although, I still force a climax every 3 or 4 weeks in hopesthat I will keep the ability to orgasm when I do finally have grs. The pleasure from pain thing is not at all what i like but it is still worth it if it will help me have female orgasms after the surgery. Sorry if thatwas tmi.

<3 Liv

Eh, why would regularly having an orgasm make later orgasms better? And most importantly, why would you have trouble orgasming after SRS?

Also, actually, thanks for mentioning that. About a month ago I got aroused and decided to try masturbating, only to discover that it's now really painful towards the base to have an erection. I wonder if it's because the erectile tissue hasn't been used in a long time or because of tucking almost 24/7.

the big reason is atrophy if I remember correctly. There are nerves and everything down there, but I could be wrong.

Well, if you think about it, the tissues in natal males and females are homologous.  They differentiate in the womb under the influence of hormones.

The corpus spongiosum of the penis is homologous to the vestibular bulbs beneath the labia minora.  So it makes sense you want to make sure they respond.

In any case, I'm not gonna do it because it just hurts too much. So I just endure arousal and try hard to distract myself.

Thank you all for the responses and help. I've taken up solving math problems in my head when I notice any amount of arousal. Works pretty well. Can't believe I didn't think of that before.

On a somewhat related note, I understood that it can be helpful to occasionally let the dangler get erect so as to avoid unnecessary material shortages with SRS. Is that the case? I'm not the largest in that department to begin with, so I'd rather not have any shortage of material for surgeons.  Is my understanding correct?

I did notice a certain amount of temporary shrinkage for a while while it was out of action due to a bout of depression. As a side note, that also made tucking more difficult as there was little to tuck if that makes any sense.

As for the shortage I am not sure. I have heard the same. There are some hands off things you can do if you do go that route. Math is a brilliant way to distract your mind btw :)

I am impressed with that one. I would not have thought of that one if I tried.

The most simple way to put it is;

your penis loses its mind of its own.

You can get it hard(ish), but even if you are turned on something only really happens if you make it.

Bit like having a vagina, yes I get turned on now, a hot guy, sexy movie, but I only self lube if I want to.


and remember that cis-females get turned on too and are sexual beings, it seems a lot of these pages there seems to be a huge theme of repressing sexuallty

I was an exceptionally active male with a really high T count - I loved sex. I'm on HRT and I still love sex, but the spontaneous erections have gone. It require a more focused mental motivation to get one - but OMG its so much more intense.

Well, I wasn't talking about repressing sexuality or anything. What I was refering to in my post was that I heard or read somewhere, that some doctors believe that it is easier to get orgasms post op if you keep the connection in your mind with orgasms. Almost like if you stop having them it will be harder because you are rusty at it and now you have new genitals. Personally it is my belief that the mind is the main sex organ, and I just want to keep the use of it. Granted a little less now then before. Also, getting erections will help keep the bits from shrikining which normally means more depth? Honestly I have no claims to back any of this up. But, its what im practicing.  :laugh:

<3 Liv

Quote from: sam79 on June 18, 2013, 07:46:35 PM
Thank you all for the responses and help. I've taken up solving math problems in my head when I notice any amount of arousal. Works pretty well. Can't believe I didn't think of that before.

On a somewhat related note, I understood that it can be helpful to occasionally let the dangler get erect so as to avoid unnecessary material shortages with SRS. Is that the case? I'm not the largest in that department to begin with, so I'd rather not have any shortage of material for surgeons.  Is my understanding correct?

I did notice a certain amount of temporary shrinkage for a while while it was out of action due to a bout of depression. As a side note, that also made tucking more difficult as there was little to tuck if that makes any sense.

If you want to keep having erections, then yes, you must "practice", because the erectile tissue will be quite unused if you don't, and the more I think about it, the more I think it's the combination of not being used and tucking that causes that pain I felt when I got an erection. But for surgery material, such things matter little if not not at all. Almost all of the erectile tissue is removed during SRS. Only the tiniest bit is kept for the clitoris. The rest is thrown away. What's important is the skin. and if you're anything like me, tucking implies quite a sufficient amount of stretching that skin. That's just what you need. Sure, you can try erections. I'm sure they do the job too. But I have a feeling they're actually less effective regarding length. As for width, I just stretch it a bit once in a while.

Quote from: Olivia-Anne on June 18, 2013, 10:25:10 PM
Well, I wasn't talking about repressing sexuality or anything. What I was refering to in my post was that I heard or read somewhere, that some doctors believe that it is easier to get orgasms post op if you keep the connection in your mind with orgasms. Almost like if you stop having them it will be harder because you are rusty at it and now you have new genitals. Personally it is my belief that the mind is the main sex organ, and I just want to keep the use of it. Granted a little less now then before. Also, getting erections will help keep the bits from shrikining which normally means more depth? Honestly I have no claims to back any of this up. But, its what im practicing.  :laugh:

<3 Liv

Oh, I see. It's mental then. Well, in that case, I can only say it probably varies even more. But for me, even assuming I didn't have the pain and could masturbate, it would only increase trauma. Masturbation was never a remotely pleasant experience to me, and I'm glad I'm free from it.

Oh, but I'm open to sex later in my life. Just not with this organ. Anyway SRS is most likely next summer or so. I can wait. Anyway all of the people I've fallen in love with recently were both trans and very far away. :p

I hope for your sake that there isn't a hang up later.

I think you need to romance yourself a little, you might just like it, btw, you don't have to touch "it" to have a great time

That vastly depends on the person. Some people (me included) don't feel anything good with other "spots".

I know I tuck and then grind my pillow ;)

omg I cant believe i just said that

wouldn't it hurt bending it the other way and getting hard?

its been so long since I had one....

Eh, it can't get very hard if it's tucked. The half-erection that happens when the penis is tucked doesn't hurt. What does is if you bring it forward and it tries to achieve a full erection in its intended direction. At that point it's not used to being being that way or being fully erected anymore. Then it hurts, especially if you try to manipulate it in any way.

all the nerve and the rubbing of the glands are what feels good.

there is a topic at the moment on masturbation and this topic

https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,143395.0/topicseen.html (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,143395.0/topicseen.html)

I am pre-hormones (and working on seen an therapies, hopefully soon). For me arousal, at least the way it almost always happens, is just a reminder of how uncomfortable I feel with myself. It is usually associated with anxiety and guilt. On of the reasons I would like to start treatment is so I can get rid of it (male arousal). On the other hand, there are times (unfortunately not as often as I wish), when my arousal is not associated with what is between my legs, but to something else. Those are the times when I can close my eyes and feel as if my entire body were involved...Who knows, maybe down the road, with treatment, I will be able to harness them;and if not, get to the point where the male-type arousal is no longer a problem. 

My HRT is going great however I sometimes do have things happen. I normally just tuck everything away with tight panties & forget it. Then I paint my nails or wash dishes or pluck my eyebrows. I will be so happy on the day of my surgery to have all these extra appendages used to create a nice vagina & begin dilation.

Okay now I'm thouroughly confused ...

So I have to masturbate myself to completion regularly??

Coz I'm on a high dose of Spiro...its almost impossible
Unless I get laid...which I don't sleep around much

I'm worried now I might be missing or not unsestanfing
Something

For me 6 months on hormones and all of my libido has disappeared. When in the past it was a daily occurrence it is now not even once a week occurrence and only when I really feel like it. I do say it is the weirdest feeling having none at all. Well that was a surprising amount I revealed since sex is my biggest trigger unfortunately

Quote from: xchristine on July 07, 2013, 10:48:10 AM
Okay now I'm thouroughly confused ...

So I have to masturbate myself to completion regularly??

Coz I'm on a high dose of Spiro...its almost impossible
Unless I get laid...which I don't sleep around much

I'm worried now I might be missing or not unsestanfing
Something

No, you don't. Don't worry about that kind of thing. Optimally just stretch the skin once in a while and you'll be fine.