Susan's Place Transgender Resources

So! I'm 24 years old, currently female gendered and male sexed. Anyway, I set up an appointment at Callen-Lorde to do informed consent and start HRT to begin to align my gender and sex  ;D. It's not until July because I'm out of town for this month. But I was curious, how long until the changes become clearly noticeable to a person who doesn't know necessarily that you're trans?

I ask because I'm out to my parents and a couple of my closest friends, but other than that everyone still thinks I'm a gay man. So I'm just trying to mentally prepare myself for when it's going to be clear that SOMETHING is going on in effect outing me to anyone who may not know at that point.

Also I am going to start my last semester of school in the fall and am struggling with how I should present myself. My instinct says attend school as a guy while I'm letting the hormones do their thing for five months and then go full time after graduation, but I'm not sure if that's tenable if HRT has an obvious effect before then...

-Dev

I had the same question and I asked my therapist because I wanted to be on hrt, but my life isn't organized for a full transition yet, so I didn't want to be outed prematurely. She said I can probably get by for a couple years as long as I take care to hide the breast development when I didn't want to be noticed. I definitely wouldn't get too concerned over it if your timeline is only 5 months!

Wow good to know. Yeah I guess five months is not long at all! And re breasts, I was figuring that I can start to bind if towards the end breast growth starts to get a little too obvious... Though also who knows, I could be comfortable just going for it at that point.

I did hormones in the past for about 6 months, the wrong way, and while I did notice some breast development, it wasn't enough to look like anything other than a guy with a few extra pounds.

I could still be unnoticeable if it weren't for the makeup, the skirt and the name.:). Ok, in all seriousness, hormones have had very little impact on me that is noticeable. I'm on my 40/ and my mom has very little in the way of female curves. That being said, it is really going to depend on your age, your family history and your body chemistry (what your current hormone levels are, etc). Changes aren't going to be noticeable overnight or even in a couple months.

Hormones are funny. To people  you see everyday, they won't notice much change except maybe breast growth and fatty thighs. However, to people just meeting you or who haven't seen you in months, I'd say clear femininity / changes are noticeable from the 8-12 month mark. However, I'm still changing little by litte, 22 months after starting.

I think this is a clear YMMV thingy but maybe I am an outlier but I have been on HRT for 15 weeks and pretty much everyone has noticed and said something about how pretty I am starting to look or the fact I am becoming a woman or just flat out saying you look like a girl now. My best friends said her friends who I am friends with think i am getting a sex change, which is obviously true. This is based purely on facial changes. So I know some people can get by forever without anyone knowing but I apparently am not one of those people. Of note: I was not very masculine to begin with and best described as androgynous so it's not like I looked very manly before HRT. I really can't say for sure what has changed other then skin and cheeks but I do look different and barely like my photo ID. I guess for people who see my day in, day out it is not as noticeable. Can't say as they don't say other then my mom telling me my FB pictures are "strange." Momspeak: strange = female. I started getting miss'd at 73 days FYI.

I'm not on a particularly high dose and in the lower end of normal for spiro and normal for E. Not above though.

Yeah I figured. Though I feel like some of the other stuff I do at the same time will probably out me even more than hormones, like starting to grow my hair out, shaping eye brows, and facial hair removal... So I guess long story short is you can't really plan these things :-P.

The other thing is you live in NY, an area where people well know about trans issues. I live in Philadelphia not too far from you, and people know about HRT and all that. Maybe not the exact specifics, but enough to notice apparently.

Quote from: Joanna Dark on June 21, 2013, 12:11:37 PM
The other thing is you live in NY, an area where people well know about trans issues. I live in Philadelphia not too far from you, and people know about HRT and all that. Maybe not the exact specifics, but enough to notice apparently.

Eh.... as a New Yorker, I have to disagree here.  Sure, it's more open to the t community, but there is still plenty of ignorance on trans issues here.  I don't think most people really understand the transgender community or could spot that someone is on hrt for the most part.  Most people will remain ignorant to the initial changes.

OP, it really could go either way.  However, you should have some breathing room and likely will be able to hide it for 5 months.  I wouldn't worry about it too much.  But if you are looking to shape your eyebrows and get a feminine hair style, you may find yourself being caught earlier than you hoped. 

I'm just saying I haven't personally been able to hide it. I also have really short hair so I thought that woul dhelp and it hasn't and people have not only noticed but straight up asked if I was changing my sex or "becoming a woman." I know people aren't aware of out issues but I'm pretty sure they would start guessing hormones if someone becomes both too busty and feminine facially. That is what I meant. People in metro areas in the Northeast know what transition entails: HRT and SRS. Maybe people in Philly are just really smart. I mean we are smart enough not to root for the Mets lol hehehe

Point: I default to female now and have to work to pass as a guy. I looked like a hot mess the other day as I had to leave in a jiffy and still got miss'd sans makeup or doing my hair. Do I pass to everyone? I have no idea. But I passed to three people at least since I was called she, her and, my favorite, little mama! This is a YMMV thing but I think people should be aware that it is not always possible to hide the changes.

Quote from: Joanna Dark on June 21, 2013, 01:15:09 PM
I'm just saying I haven't personally been able to hide it. I also have really short hair so I thought that woul dhelp and it hasn't and people have not only noticed but straight up asked if I was changing my sex or "becoming a woman." I know people aren't aware of out issues but I'm pretty sure they would start guessing hormones if someone becomes both too busty and feminine facially. That is what I meant. People in metro areas in the Northeast know what transition entails: HRT and SRS. Maybe people in Philly are just really smart. I mean we are smart enough not to root for the Mets lol hehehe

Point: I default to female now and have to work to pass as a guy. I looked like a hot mess the other day as I had to leave in a jiffy and still got miss'd sans makeup or doing my hair. Do I pass to everyone? I have no idea. But I passed to three people at least since I was called she, her and, my favorite, little mama! This is a YMMV thing but I think people should be aware that it is not always possible to hide the changes.

I understand what you mean.  It's not always possible to hide.  I'm just saying that most people would never even suspect hrt or anything.  I can't tell you how many people think SRS is all that is involved.  As though you get the surgery and everything else comes nicely pre-packaged.  How I wish that were the case.  I would certainly order the deluxe transition if that's all there was too it,lol.  You would think it would be more known in New Yorker, but honestly, most people never encounter this stuff. 

Maybe it is just a Philly thing. I mean the only people who think I'm trans are people who know me. Everyone else thinks I'm a woman. I don't know about prolonged contact however. Apparently my voice doesn't affect passing.

I can grow facial hair and hide the changes that way.

Quote from: learningtolive on June 21, 2013, 01:27:26 PM
I can't tell you how many people think SRS is all that is involved.

This is true. My ex used to think that I would just get a sex change and that's it. She still thought I would pass 100 percent but just be ugly. She never even mentioned HRT. My friend thought the same thing and he said the same thing. My problem, well it's not a problem, is that I naturally look pretty androgynous and I have gynecomstia and a pretty feminine shape in general so people have asked me my whole life if I'm a hemaphrodite. Or say totally rude things like "you're not really a guy are you? prove it." This kinda thing happens when I act too feminine.

But yeah I do generally agree people won't notice or suspect anything unless they suspected something pre-HRT.TBH, I don't think I pass nor do I think I look like a girl so I don't know why people think this but it's happening none the less. Don't get me wrong, I don't get treated poorly and people from my past who have suspected are not mean about it and sound pretty enthused actually.

I think this is one of those your-mileage-may-vary questions.  I'm almost 2 months in and I don't really notice any difference in my face (My hair is a bit longer than my day 0 photo, but that's about it).  About a week ago I had a friend stare at me for a few seconds before asking if I got a haircut, so I'm not sure what she noticed there.

Quote from: Anna! on June 21, 2013, 01:43:56 PM
I think this is one of those your-mileage-may-vary questions.  I'm almost 2 months in and I don't really notice any difference in my face (My hair is a bit longer than my day 0 photo, but that's about it).  About a week ago I had a friend stare at me for a few seconds before asking if I got a haircut, so I'm not sure what she noticed there.

Haha yeah, when I flirted with transition once before I had a friend ask me something similar but about my eyebrows and if I started "man-scaping" them. I guess the moral of the story is it's unpredictable. And I've been waiting for so long for this that I don't think I'll be able to hold off on feminizing some aspects of my appearance once I actually start. I sorta feel like once the train's out of the station... At the same time those things definitely wouldn't help me passing as male for six months... But at the end of the day I have supportive parents and friends and I go to a super liberal school that is respectful of trans issues (they have gender neutral bathrooms on every floor along with men's and women's) so I probably shouldn't get too worried at the end of the day. It's just that feeling of wanting it to be the right time to be all like 'hey world I'm changing my sex!' But I guess there really is no "right" time for these things anyway.

Is it that you need to pass as male or that you don't want to explain the changes? I think some people change more then others and you'll just never know and there's no rhyme or reason.

Quote from: Joanna Dark on June 22, 2013, 12:19:07 PM
Is it that you need to pass as male or that you don't want to explain the changes? I think some people change more then others and you'll just never know and there's no rhyme or reason.

It's that it's my last semester of school so I'd prefer not to have to go through the whole explaining to professors and the administration thing, and that if I can pass as male at school for my last semester then I'm in the clear on that front.

If it's just for a semester at school, you'll be absolutely fine!  Your classmates and professors are going to be seeing you quite often, so the changes won't be easily perceived by them.

You'll be fine. At worst, people may wonder but no one would prob say anything.

Unless you come into class in a dress and high heels,  I think you will okay ;)  Seriously, I am on my tenth dose today and I have only detected subtle emotional changes.  Appearance hasn't changed one iota which makes me a sad panda.  It seems that hormones take a lot of time (months) before they become anything becomes noticeable.  You'll be fine. 

I heard all the answers...
But this one ...if your on high Spiro and high e. 
It will be noticeable ..
I'm doing high Spiro low e for now. ..
I look softer more supple...going to a size. 

But I'll present as a male until I'm done ffs.....

So add how heavy your hrt is also..

I'm 6 months 2 weeks into hrt and I'm starting to notice some femininity with my whole body unclothed and seeing minute changes in my clothed presentation in my appearance and silhouette(ie. I tell myself I'm imagining it sometimes, until I'm overtly called out or snickered at) and I'm 45 years old. I've completed facial electro several years ago and some leg electro too, I'm of indian heritage(meso-american/Spanish)mestizo, pretty common for a Mexican, which I am, but naturalized American, anyway... My endo is still fine tuning my hrt, with increased spiro and the same dose of the estrogen patch. I'd say until someone overtly says something to you, they can suspect, or if you confirm it with someone else, people are calling you out as transgender in that netherland stage(ie.between male/female appearing), then you can't confirm it.

My 2 cents :)