Community Conversation => Transsexual talk => Male to female transsexual talk (MTF) => Topic started by: Gadgett on June 21, 2013, 06:48:51 AM Return to Full Version

Title: Should I or Shouldn't I? That is the question.
Post by: Gadgett on June 21, 2013, 06:48:51 AM
Hello there folks.

Sorry it's been a long time since my last post but we just got the internet back last night. As an update for those who are wanting to know, a friend of 10 years of mine, who had helped me a lot in the past just up and broke the lease and never said anything to us about it so me and Jordon only had 3 days to move everything out of the house. On top of losing our home, since we didn't have enough tenure to take 3 days off, we also lost our jobs as well.

So since February, we have been living in a hotel, and just finally got into a place of our own and are slowly beginning to rebuild our lives. Jordon is working for Walmart and I'm working in a warehouse. It long hours, but the pay is good. Now that we have a chance to breath, I can return to dealing with our TG issues but that leads to me to a problem, which is the reason for the question.

My therapist said they have no problem writing my letter for HRT and Sollon's as well within a few months. *yays*. But Sollon and I feel there is no way we could do it at this point anymore because of our jobs. *booo* Sollon feels that he would be discriminated against at Walmart even though he's made some friends there and the same goes for me, I have made some good friends where I work, but don't feel that I could transition there without repercussions. So my question is should I or shouldn't I?

It's not a simple matter of just changing jobs. My PTSD has been making it harder and harder to work and with the economy, I'm not sure I could find another job and I don't feel like I would be qualified. Same with Sollon, as he seems unable to go for anything outside of a minimum wage job. So our fear is that if we attempted to transition, we would end up homeless again and we've worked so hard to get out of it before. So any thoughts? Our support group isn't any help and neither is my theropist.

I don't think it would do us much good to be who we are only to die from homelessness and starvation. So any thoughts would be welcomed.

~Gadg
Title: Re: Should I or Shouldn't I? That is the question.
Post by: kariann330 on June 21, 2013, 08:53:29 AM
Well my first thoughts are go for it. Yes Walmart does discriminate mostly against black people and rarely against the LGBT community, but just remember this much, if they do in most states the law is on YOUR side not the companies side when it comes to discrimination. If you do stick with it, becoming a manager and having an equal work load are going to go out the window. Yeah Walmart sucks imho.
Title: Re: Should I or Shouldn't I? That is the question.
Post by: A on June 21, 2013, 09:32:43 AM
As far as I know, for all they suck, Wal-Mart doesn't discriminate much if at all. In Canada at least. Here they're commonly known as THE employer who'll hire just anyone. If X place won't hire you, Wal-Mart will. Obeses, gays, (maybe trans people but there's only one Wal-Mart and not many trans people where I live), elderly people and whatever visible minority you can think of, they hire them. Not so long ago, there was a trans woman from this forum who was having a very hard time finding a job considering her weight and trouble passing, but Wal-Mart hired her.

As for the warehouse... Dunno. Not like I can know them. What I do know though is that even though in job search I'm pretty sure there's a fair amount of discrimination, it'll happen less often than people think that people who are already settled into a job will get fired for transitioning, really. You'd need a boss who is especially an ass, and willing to find fake excuses to put someone out of a job for such a motive. It does happen, but I don't think (or rather I hope) I'm overly optimistic when I say it's unlikely.

Also, I feel sorry for you. That sucks a lot. Next time you rent an apartment, make sure everyone is on the lease, so no one can do such a thing. :/
Title: Re: Should I or Shouldn't I? That is the question.
Post by: Lorri Kat on June 21, 2013, 01:30:53 PM
This most likely is not what you wonna hear.. but..   Before 9/11  destroyed my business and I lost .. everything.. literaly  I had quite a few employees.   As a former business owner I can tell you  that..  there is ALWAYS a way to fire someone that is not related to what may be the employers primary, covert, reason.   No laws will save you if its done right and only sloppy mouthed, minded, owners/ managers are the ones that get caught.  If someone I knew personally asked me the same question I would tell them, saddly, to suck it up for a few more years and keep searching for better employment the whole time.  As you stated, not much joy in transition if your living in a box and eating out of garbage bins.   

I wish you the best..  it really sucks to get the rug pulled out from under you..   I know that all too well.  :)
Title: Re: Should I or Shouldn't I? That is the question.
Post by: JoanneB on June 22, 2013, 02:27:25 PM
Having been in management I second what Lorri Kat said. There is ALWAYS a way. Hourly employees take a little extra care compared to salaried, or "exempt", employees. (Exempt seems to me like most labor laws and protections do not apply)

BTW - Knowing full well that within 6 months of a transition to full-time that I'll be axed for some "business" reason has me on hold untill a lot of my financial responsibilities are discharged.