Susan's Place Transgender Resources

So I'm kind of new to all this since it was very recent that I openly admitted to myself that I am trans, but sometimes it's really hard to think about all the people who just seem to hate trans people. How do you get over that?

Maybe I've been lucky, but in the last couple of years, I've only experienced a couple harsh glares, but nothing else. Perhaps you're over-emphasizing the haters?

Actually I haven't experienced any hate being laughed at sure but hate no. And besides most of the haters do all there hating from the safety of their computer. When they are out in public they are afraid to show their hate. And really if somebody wants to hate me they can that's their problem not mine. They can't control the way I think and I sure don't care to control the way they think. :)

Quote from: Naomi on June 21, 2013, 10:48:59 PM
So I'm kind of new to all this since it was very recent that I openly admitted to myself that I am trans, but sometimes it's really hard to think about all the people who just seem to hate trans people. How do you get over that?

Kia Ora Naomi,

It would greatly depend on where one lives and how one presents in public...In some places people are more liberal and into diversity (open minded-or they keep their opinions to themselves) so if one presents in a somewhat trans-identifiable fashion, they are not hassled, and if one happens to "blend-in" (not so trans-identifiable) then for the most part it doesn't really matter where one lives...

You don't know what the future hold Naomi, until you gradually unfold into it ...

Remember: :eusa_hand: & :eusa_think:  "If you fear you shall suffer-you 'already' suffer what you fear !" 

Metta Zenda :)

I haven't had to deal with hate much either.  Only one incident I can think of that was maybe motivated by hate.

I've spent much more time dealing with cluelessness.

If you're talking about the internet, comment sections attract the most base members of society and they are not representative of actual opinion. Most people don't pay attention to be honest. I have only had one person say anything to be honest and he was just saying "You look exactly like a girl now does anyone even think you're a guy anymore?" so it was really quite validating lol

Just don't have anything to do with people who hate others.

They'll die of something bad in the end

Kia Ora,

The mind trap of worry/fear that so many of us fall into...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=ZUdHX1Bent0#at=32 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=ZUdHX1Bent0#at=32)

Metta Zenda :)

Quote from: Miss Bungle on June 22, 2013, 12:11:29 AM
I think that about 50% of the population sucks anyway so I don't worry about the haters.

I used to think that too..... but more recently I began to notice a correlation between work and society.  At work, I get about 90% of my workload from about 10%  of my accounts, whereas the other 90% are self sufficient. I think society is very similar to that. 10% causes 90% of the issues, whatever they may be, whereas the other , 90% are actually fairly rational. I think approaching life/society with that mindset helps in a lot of issues and situations. 

Quote from: Matthieu on June 22, 2013, 12:37:07 AM
I used to think that too..... but more recently I began to notice a correlation between work and society.  At work, I get about 90% of my workload from about 10%  of my accounts, whereas the other 90% are self sufficient. I think society is very similar to that. 10% causes 90% of the issues, whatever they may be, whereas the other , 90% are actually fairly rational. I think approaching life/society with that mindset helps in a lot of issues and situations.

I've seen the same thing among drivers...and customers. 10% of the drivers actually aggravate the problems they deal with, while 90% are smooth talkers and very "customer service oriented"...otoh, 10% of the customers are the most delicate, "TLC", pay-attention-to ME types, the other 90% are pretty casual about rolling with the punches (so to speak).

It's important to remember that hate is a form of mental torment that some people choose to inflict on themselves. If you're the one who's hated it's not really a statement about you, because you're being used as an object of hatred.

Hate is usually motivated by some perceived fear. Fear is motivated by a lack of understanding or knowledge.

Besides hate, like envy, can be provoked by success. If you've never been hated by someone in life, it's probably because you've never really achieved anything.

The key to dealing with it is to understand that you can only control what goes through your own mind, and you cannot control what goes through the minds of others.

The keyboard haters don't bother me,some saddo with his hand down his pants writing stuff he's not got the balls to say to your face is how I think of them.It depends what mood I'm in if something bad is said to me,usually I'll ignore it,reply with something witty,tell them to !!!! off and die or tell the police is my way of dealing with these scumbags

Haven't had any public haters, I've had fantastic people go out of their way to be nice to me. I've posted some, like the garage leaving flowers in my car after it was serviced when I told them I had changed my name after transitioning.

Store people have been great, no one has been nasty, a few people I work with have made pronoun mistakes but not deliberate and they have been mortified after I told them. And they knew me for a long time when I was pretending to be a guy so it can be hard for them.

Never let haters get to you. They are the ones who need pity. They are the ones who don't have the biggest gift of all; Love.

Just feel sorry for them.

Hugs
Cindy

Hate is out there and will never go away. I accept it and don't let it effect my life or self image. If someone hates me because I am trans, they would still find a reason to hate me if I wasn't.

Quote from: Naomi on June 21, 2013, 10:48:59 PM
So I'm kind of new to all this since it was very recent that I openly admitted to myself that I am trans, but sometimes it's really hard to think about all the people who just seem to hate trans people. How do you get over that?

Don't focus on that. I've discovered that people are very accepting. I've never had anyone get hateful towards me because of my transition.

Quote from: Naomi on June 21, 2013, 10:48:59 PM
So I'm kind of new to all this since it was very recent that I openly admitted to myself that I am trans, but sometimes it's really hard to think about all the people who just seem to hate trans people. How do you get over that?

I am a teacher by profession.

The way I see it, as a transgender teacher, I have been given the mission to educate people about transgender. I know there are people that disapprove of me, but I'm living my life in a way that shows that transgender people are competent, intelligent, caring, and proud. Folks that disapprove need to see people like me more than the people who are naturally our allies.

I haven't had much in the way of hate really - I'm dressing more and more female in public with just alittle foundation. People either think I'm gay or probably becoming a woman. Either way it makes no difference to me.

I had an interview yesterday, I openly admitted to being trans - as I did with my advisor - both of whom couldn't have been nicer about it. I now feel a sense of ease when I visit the Jobcentre, as over time my transition will become more and more obvious. I was asked a few questions from my advisor saying "so where are you in terms of changing?" - "so you'll have to start living as a woman?" and I replied that I am just at the begining of my transition, follwoing 3 months of councelling. And I already am living as female in the the house, it's just getting the confidence to go outside more as myself and feel at ease. I'm hoping by October my hair will be long enough to go full blast - then see the folks at Sandyford in March next year, by which time I'll have been living female for 6 months or so.

If anything though people seem interested in what I'm doing, not offended or in anyway hateful. I atcually felt ridiculous dressed with guys shoes and jacket yesterday. I really do need to look at getting size 12 shoes - any ideas where I might find them?

I'm not saying it's always easy. I smiled at a lady while we qued for the till in MATALAN a few weeks back... she burrled her head away and didn't smile back... but I just figured she's one of that generation who just cannot be accepting of it, but whatev's lol!  :laugh:

I got myself a bit riled up before telling people I'm trans. Each time, it turns out I had nothing to worry about and they were very accepting (for the most part).

People tend to fear the unknown or people whom they just don't want to admit they like. I just remember that they don't hate me but that they are just confused

Quote from: girl you look fierce on June 22, 2013, 11:13:00 AM
I actually have not experienced any hate, not at all, not the slightest morsel for being trans. I think I've told 20ish people, 3 are close family, 10 are extended family, 2 my bf's family, along with about 6 people who had to see my legal info, and actually the only morsel of negativity came from my own sister, everyone else was completely accepting and supportive.

Yeah I agree. I haven't faced much real hate since junior high and high school . Or as I call them the war years haha. But none the less I stand by my first statement . I kill them with kindness. Some people who lash out are dealing with there own daemons and see you as a easy target. I've gotten alot of apologies over the years :)