Community Conversation => Transitioning => Coming out of the closet => Topic started by: Comrade Eva on June 28, 2013, 12:05:21 AM Return to Full Version
Title: i've come out to a few people but now i'm stuck
Post by: Comrade Eva on June 28, 2013, 12:05:21 AM
Post by: Comrade Eva on June 28, 2013, 12:05:21 AM
Over the past two months i have come out to about 5 people but now i can't find the confidence to come out to anyone else.
the thing is i have told my closest friends but my confidence has dropped to the point where i can't really bring myself to even tell people who i know are not going to have any objections to it. so for the time being i don't know what to do.
the thing is i have told my closest friends but my confidence has dropped to the point where i can't really bring myself to even tell people who i know are not going to have any objections to it. so for the time being i don't know what to do.
Title: Re: i've come out to a few people but now i'm stuck
Post by: Joanna Dark on June 28, 2013, 12:14:14 AM
Post by: Joanna Dark on June 28, 2013, 12:14:14 AM
You don't have to come out to anyone. I didn't. I just let them find out in time by my actions. I feel like coming out and telling people, especially before HRT, makes it like I was asking permission. Then could've talked me out of HRT or threatened me somehow. But when you're in the middle of it, too late.
Title: Re: i've come out to a few people but now i'm stuck
Post by: Mollie on June 28, 2013, 01:43:23 AM
Post by: Mollie on June 28, 2013, 01:43:23 AM
I agree with, and am following the same path as Joanna. I have told my wife, son, daughter and about another 15-20 folks or so. I retired from teaching a few months ago (simply hated being subordinate to my vindictive Vogon inline manager) but when I was still working I told the Headteacher and two of her deputies. That seemed the right thing to do as day by day I was increasingly presenting as female: hair make-up, jewellery, woman's shirt trousers shoes. I don't hide from the neighbours when I am out and about and just talk to them as I normally would. I actually said to the gender psychiatrist that I had no intention of making some bold coming out statement to the world because I thought that would be rather unnatural and melodramatic and he saw where I was coming from. Soon (if the postman hasn't been kidnapped!) I will be starting oestrogen which will bring about further change. Should anyone ask? I'll just play that by ear and to be honest it is not something to which I give a great deal of thought.
Ask yourself this. If one of your male friends started to dress like a woman and wear make up jewellery, breasts started to grow, face changed.............would you feel you had to ask? Unless they were hallowe'en devotees it would be kind of obvious. You'll be fine 8)
Ask yourself this. If one of your male friends started to dress like a woman and wear make up jewellery, breasts started to grow, face changed.............would you feel you had to ask? Unless they were hallowe'en devotees it would be kind of obvious. You'll be fine 8)
Title: Re: i've come out to a few people but now i'm stuck
Post by: smile_jma on June 28, 2013, 02:15:55 AM
Post by: smile_jma on June 28, 2013, 02:15:55 AM
I only told my closest friends. All others will find out by default.
Title: Re: i've come out to a few people but now i'm stuck
Post by: Comrade Eva on July 01, 2013, 06:30:58 AM
Post by: Comrade Eva on July 01, 2013, 06:30:58 AM
The reason i asked this question is that some people (Such as my father) have seen some of my recent changes in appearance and thought that it had something to do with turning gay; this is the sort of confusion that i would like to avoid as much as possible.
Title: Re: i've come out to a few people but now i'm stuck
Post by: Antonia J on July 01, 2013, 08:18:56 AM
Post by: Antonia J on July 01, 2013, 08:18:56 AM
My therapist and I discussed this issue and the decision for me in coming out was made by asking "Is it relevant to the person and my interaction?" For people who come to my home, I do not want to live a dual life and have to hide - so my close family and friends were informed early. For my coworkers, I will probably not come out until bathrooms become an issue lol. For my relatives I see one or twice per year I may not do anything until I am full time. My goal is to avoid a dual life, and only focus on those I interact with frequently. Others just are not relevant to my transition process.