Susan's Place Transgender Resources

I consider you girls/women my friends, so I'll tell you, my brother passed away today. It isn't a shock, but it's devastating, because only in the last 22 months of my relationship of nearly 59 years on earth with him have we ever been close. He never understood me or cared to until I transitioned. And I'll always have a huge hole in my heart that he's gone now, because he finally cared to understand, love and accept me. I'd gotten to the point where I didn't think I gave a ->-bleeped-<- anymore before I transitioned, and was positive we'd have physical altercations when I started living as the woman I am. It wasn't like that at all, and I saw in his eyes many, many times that he was proud of me and a few times he told me as much. In honor of my brother and in his memory I have to tell a story about him that happened the day I took him to the hospital to have his liver drained. We thought I'd pick him up the next day, and he was really looking forward to having it drained, because it made him fat and uncomfortable. So he was in a really good mood when I took him.
  Now you have to picture my brother, my till I transitioned, hard ass, mean spirited brother who once wanted to be a Hell's Angel. On the day I took him to the ER in April here in 1000 Oaks, about a mile from the hospital he said to me "Now Randi, (he never got to the point of calling me Miranda or Mira, I was now Randi with an 'I') you really look and act like a woman, so when we go in the ER I want you to walk tall despite your back, and once we get in the room speak in your female voice only, even when you're alone with me in the room, because if they come in and we don't hear 'em, I don't want them to hear your male voice, because I don't want the doctors and nurses asking me if my sister was once my brother!" and we both laughed really hard. To me, that was the nicest, sweetest thing he's ever said to me, because it was his best compliment he could ever give me. He knew how happy I finally am , and he ended up really respecting me for doing what I always knew I had to to be even remotely happy. And he's known since I was three years old I knew I was in the wrong body. I'll miss him sooo much and his acceptance made his daughters accept me completely, making me completely accept and understand myself even more. Thanks, Steve! I love you.

I am sorry to hear of your loss, Miranda.  At least he had his sister with him at the end.  And to know he loved you will help to close the hole in your heart.

That's so sad Miranda and yet your story about your brother is very beautiful too. It touched me so much that I'm crying as I type this--god I'm such a girl :D

I think it's wonderful that you and your brother were able to share that close-knit relationship, even if it was only for those 22 months. To have someone that is understanding, accepting, and loving of the real you is such a treasure. It's painful when you loose someone like that, like you have a hole that will never be filled again. But at least you can cherish the memories of the times you did spend together, and when he truly knew you and saw you for who you are.

Thanks for sharing such a heartwarming moment. And my heart reaches out to you in loosing such a special person in your life. *Hugs*

Miranda please accept my condolences

Oh Miranda, I'm sorry and so sad for you my dear friend! Steve's suffering is over, I know that you are a believer and that you may see him again in a happier place. Love you sweetheart! ~Shan~

I'm so sorry Miranda. Im glad that he loved you for being true to yourself. I wish I was able to be closer to my brother. He is understanding of me, but I haven't seen him in 13 years. As time goes on, I wonder if we will ever see each
other again. You are a lucky woman. And your brother was right. Walk tall and proud. I know he will be doing the same beside you. *hugs*

Big hug! So sorry, hon. Hugs, Devlyn

I'm sorry to hear that Miranda.

I understand your sorrow, I'm worried about my sister dying too, she is 74 and has several problems, we hadn't talked for years (30+) until my transition we have been very close since then.

I'm so, so sorry to hear this.  *hugs*  Thank you for sharing the story about your brother.

Dear Miranda,

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss.

I'm glad that you both found peace with each other.

Hugs Sister

Cindy

I'm very sorry to hear this.  I'm glad you two were able to reconcile with one another in the end. Please always cherish the good memories you have had together. 

I'm sorry to hear about your brother Miranda. The story that you told about him is very touching.

My deepest condolences for your loss.

Miranda, My condolances go to you and your family in this time of great loss. May your brother be resting in peace.

Big Hugs

So sorry for your loss Miranda. I am glad you got to have a relationship before his passing though.

Sorry to hear of your loss. And thanks for sharing the story, that touched me.

Another good person gone. Sorry it happened.

Hi Everyone,
    I was totally devastated when my brother died, and then dreaded his memorial like few things I've ever been involved in. My brother had treated me like ->-bleeped-<- for years and his friends who would be there were a bunch of barfly drunks who didn't know I was TS, but took their cues of viciousness toward me from my brother. So I thought with their redneck ideologies they'd be stupid and mean enough to say something derogatory despite the fact that my brother accepted me as his sister in the last 22 months. Thank God, I worried over nothing and the memorial couldn't have been more lovingly and respectfully done. The two people (many of his old friends had long since passed away) I was ready to tell to ->-bleeped-<- off both told me I look very pretty and they're glad I'm happy. Life is strange, and I'm sooo very thankful my brother finally loved and accepted me, his sister. And thank you all for your kind words when he passed away. Huge Hugs, Mira

Life is full of surprises Miranda, hope that your grieving period is short lived because your brother obviously wanted you to be happy. ((Hugs))

soo sorry Miranda,tight hugs

Big hug! Your brother left you a gift, love and understanding. See how it's spreading already? Hugs, Devlyn

My condolences...*hugs*

Quote from: Miranda Elizabeth on July 29, 2013, 12:16:35 AM
Hi Everyone,
    I was totally devastated when my brother died, and then dreaded his memorial like few things I've ever been involved in. My brother had treated me like ->-bleeped-<- for years and his friends who would be there were a bunch of barfly drunks who didn't know I was TS, but took their cues of viciousness toward me from my brother. So I thought with their redneck ideologies they'd be stupid and mean enough to say something derogatory despite the fact that my brother accepted me as his sister in the last 22 months. Thank God, I worried over nothing and the memorial couldn't have been more lovingly and respectfully done. The two people (many of his old friends had long since passed away) I was ready to tell to ->-bleeped-<- off both told me I look very pretty and they're glad I'm happy. Life is strange, and I'm sooo very thankful my brother finally loved and accepted me, his sister. And thank you all for your kind words when he passed away. Huge Hugs, Mira

Hello Girlfriends,
      I wrote the post above last night and suddenly it disappeared! I was angry, thinking 'what did I say that would make the staff take it down?' I didn't even see that this thread had been started over my brother and I'm sooo thankful and humbled by your kindness and responses. I kind of cocooned for about a week and a half and stayed off my computer to absorb what has transpired in the last three months. As I've said, my last time alone with him was probably the best we'd ever had together, even though the circumstances ended up being tragic and it was such a short time. Regardless, the drive, his words in the car and the few hours alone talking with him in the ER are moments I'll cherish for the rest of my life. I don't know how many people can say their last time with a loved one was also their best, and for that I'm grateful beyond words. Once again, thank you all for your beautiful, touching words. Hugs, Mira

Please accept my condolences.