Community Conversation => Transgender talk => Topic started by: Shodan on July 12, 2013, 01:58:49 PM Return to Full Version

Title: Support Group Anxiety.
Post by: Shodan on July 12, 2013, 01:58:49 PM
So, on the suggestion of my therapist... and just about everybody else in my life... I'm going to a MtF peer support group, and I have to admit. My anxiety is going through the roof on this one. I've never been so nervous  to meet a bunch of strangers as I am today. I've never been to something like this before, so I have no idea what to expect. Now, I know that each group is different but I'm wondering if you good folks have gone to something like this and what your experiences have been.
Title: Re: Support Group Anxiety.
Post by: Lesley_Roberta on July 12, 2013, 07:20:16 PM
Never been to a group connected in any way to transgender, but, I have been to groups for other reasons of mental health based issues.

Anger management, pain management, depression management. Often they are also a grab bag of issues and one group.

It's generally all people who all have the same problems the same fears and likely a social worker skilled in making sure everyone gets something out of the experience in a safe balanced and fair manner.

If you go, and it is not safe balanced and fair, my guess would be to get up and walk out and say nothing while doing it.
Title: Re: Support Group Anxiety.
Post by: suzifrommd on July 14, 2013, 02:59:45 PM
Quote from: Shodan on July 12, 2013, 01:58:49 PM
Now, I know that each group is different but I'm wondering if you good folks have gone to something like this and what your experiences have been.

My support group changed and saved my life. I wouldn't be where I am without it.

They're very supportive, very laid back, and generally friendly. Just to see how ordinary people achieved transition was priceless.
Title: Re: Support Group Anxiety.
Post by: LordKAT on July 14, 2013, 03:25:11 PM
My experience with support groups in person, is nonsupport. I avoid them.
Title: Re: Support Group Anxiety.
Post by: spacerace on July 14, 2013, 04:28:07 PM
I can never bring myself to go to one of them either.

People in my life and my therapist all want me to go, as well.

Let us know if you end up going this week and how it ends up going. Maybe it will give me courage by proxy.

Title: Re: Support Group Anxiety.
Post by: Terri on July 14, 2013, 05:24:35 PM
My therapist mentions a group, but I can't really see myself doing that.  This being said, I never thought that I would ever need to see a therapist either, but it's been very helpful. 
Title: Re: Support Group Anxiety.
Post by: aleon515 on July 14, 2013, 09:12:44 PM
I love group, they are like brothers and sisters to me. But it did take awhile to work up my nerve. I actually now go to two groups (a mixed group and an FTM group). People are going to remember when they started going to group-- I do. Go on, you won't be sorry.

--Jay
Title: Re: Support Group Anxiety.
Post by: Embrace on July 14, 2013, 09:35:45 PM
I've been to one once earlier this year and haven't been back.  I suppose it's very much a case of YMMV in terms of finding the right mix of people.

Hope yours went well- please let us know!
Title: Re: Support Group Anxiety.
Post by: Ltl89 on July 14, 2013, 11:48:00 PM
Don't worry about it.  I was nervous about it when I first went to one.  People are accepting and friendly.  I have found it therapeutic whenever I attend one.  Though I usually go with a friend so I don't feel too uncomfortable, shy or nervous.  Perhaps you could ask a friend or family member to join you?  It will probably make things a lot easier to overcome the fear of your first meeting. 
Title: Re: Support Group Anxiety.
Post by: Antonia J on July 15, 2013, 07:12:12 AM
I go to a mixed group twice per month.  They have been a good resource for help with docs, shopping, beauty, and just venting.  Good help and I never feel compelled to say anything.  Sometimes I just hang in the shadows, and sometimes I talk a lot.
Title: Re: Support Group Anxiety.
Post by: Shodan on July 15, 2013, 11:17:16 AM
So I went, and I have to say that I was more nervous going to that than I get going to job interviews, but in the end I'm glad I went. It was good to meet some people who were starting transition much later in life than I am. I think I would have liked it better if it wasn't for the fact that the group was dominated by two.... I don't really know what to call them. Alpha Bitches, I guess.

Both were very opinionated and vocal. One was one of those kinds of people have read one too many Dan Brown novels, and was going off on how our birth certificates were being used as trading commodities by banks and how we're all owned by them anyway, and how all our government is tied to egypt because of the pyramids and everything. She just went on and on and nobody really could get in anything edgewise until the other woman came into the room.

This woman had taken being trans by the horns, hopped up onto it's back and was riding it like a bull in a china shop. Bright purple hair, hot pink nails, a love for Brittany Speares, poorly applied lipstick and eye shadow,  a five o'clock shadow and an attitude that said 'screw you I'm beautiful.' She was awesome. (Well, save for the Brittany Speares part.) So then the meeting devolved to them talking at each other.

I did manage to get a few thoughts in during the meeting, but most of what I got out of it was after the meeting itself. Me and one of the other members ended up getting on the train and talking for a bit. It was good to talk to somebody a little bit more sane about regular things. The greatest thing, though, was on the train ride, we helped out this poor lost guy from Connecticut to get to where he was going, and before he left, he said, very sincerely, "By the way, I just want you to know that I think you're very beautiful." to her. She was speechless and told me that she had no idea how to take that because it was the first time anybody told her that. I told her to take it as the compliment that it was meant to be, because he was right.

Anyway, I'll probably end up going again. Not this week, but next.