Susan's Place Transgender Resources

http://youtu.be/pQZyUIAlEo0 (http://youtu.be/pQZyUIAlEo0)
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fyoutu.be%2FpQZyUIAlEo0&hash=e72e87667cb54dda66aaf33a3f3b455a1b192d4c)

Made this video to explain how I feel about the phrase, "born in the wrong body." I'm curious to think what others think.

My therapist asked me about this one time. I simply said yes because I didn't really care or think about it, however looking back it wasn't true at all. Tis more like my body is shaped wrong.

Loved the ending! 

"Jane! Stop this crazy thing! Help! JANE!"

Hugs, Devlyn

Quote from: Jamison on July 14, 2013, 10:42:24 AM
http://youtu.be/pQZyUIAlEo0 (http://youtu.be/pQZyUIAlEo0)
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fyoutu.be%2FpQZyUIAlEo0&hash=e72e87667cb54dda66aaf33a3f3b455a1b192d4c)

Made this video to explain how I feel about the phrase, "born in the wrong body." I'm curious to think what others think.

Ahh can I sneak in and say you are a really good looking guy.

Ahhhm :embarrassed: Want to date :embarrassed: :embarrassed: :embarrassed: :embarrassed: :embarrassed:

Whoops, sorry I'm old enough to be your grannies granny!

Nice clip

C

Quote from: Devlyn Marie on July 14, 2013, 11:31:56 AM
Loved the ending! 

"Jane! Stop this crazy thing! Help! JANE!"

Hugs, Devlyn

Haha, I swore I edited that part out. It got worse, lol.

Quote from: Cindy. on July 14, 2013, 11:57:21 AM

Ahh can I sneak in and say you are a really good looking guy.

Ahhhm :embarrassed: Want to date :embarrassed: :embarrassed: :embarrassed: :embarrassed: :embarrassed:

Whoops, sorry I'm old enough to be your grannies granny!

Nice clip

C

Lol, probably not grannies granny. I got a gma in her late 80s. Thanks for the compliment, but I'm a "married to my work" kinda guy.

I watched your video.

I agree - I wasn't born in the wrong body. I was born in my body - it just takes some modification to get it where I need it physically.

However - I would want top surgery and T even without societal expectations and cultural gender reinforcement.  But that is just me, and you're right - who knows what would have happened otherwise

Also, some of the other cultures you mentioned who have gender variance still enforce their own gender norms. The third gender is resigned to staying around the family taking care of them, making meals and cleaning, etc - I think it was one of the Polynesian cultures that does this.

The third gender in India is outcast and must only exist in its own role, and it is still shameful for the family.

Everywhere has some form of it, unfortunately

Anyone told you that you are sexy?  grrrrrr.

And you are right.  If we were in a different culture, we would be seen differently.

Jameson, I hope it's not out of the spirit of the other posts for me to give you a serous answer.

I'm hearing two things from your video (correct me if I'm wrong).

1. "Born in the wrong body" has been sort of become a definition of Transgender and it's a poor one.

2. That if our society were more understanding and supportive, we would not be as dysphoric.

#1 is spot on. I agree that I was not born in the wrong body, and most transgender people I've discussed this with have issues with this as a description of our experience.

I'm not sure I agree with #2.

First, I think humans are biologically wired to gender each other and treat males and females differently. It's pretty much necessary for the preservation of the species. We innately figure out whether someone is the suitable sex to be a mate.

Even in the societies you describes, with greater tolerance for non-binary, there are gender roles. It's also hard to argue with evidence that there are physical difference between the sexes that make males and females TEND to act differently (though within each gender there is terrific variation).

I'll also venture my personal opinion that the difference in interaction styles between males and females is not societally driven, but innate. Are there societies where straight, cis men routinely allow themselves to be emotionally vulnerable, while women keep their interactions activity-based and factual?

And it's a documented fact that our brains direct us to "want" to be one gender or another, and that transgender is pretty clearly a physical difference between our sex and that gender direction from our brain, not one of preferring the roles associated with one gender over the other.

I'll speak for myself. My transgender drives me to want to be female in just about every way. This does NOT appear to me to be related in any way to the roles society defines for females. I don't actually want to be a housewife or even a mother (though I'd like to know what it feels like). In a society where women had every opportunity men had and vice versa, I would still want a female body and to be seen socially as female and prefer female interaction styles.

I really liked the video, and I'm glad I watched it and had an opportunity to think about what you said.

Quote from: Jamison on July 14, 2013, 10:42:24 AM
http://youtu.be/pQZyUIAlEo0 (http://youtu.be/pQZyUIAlEo0)
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fyoutu.be%2FpQZyUIAlEo0&hash=e72e87667cb54dda66aaf33a3f3b455a1b192d4c)

Made this video to explain how I feel about the phrase, "born in the wrong body." I'm curious to think what others think.

Okay, let me get this out of the way ...

You are such a hottie!

<deep cleansing breaths>  That's better.  (Sorry about the objectification)

You asked the question, in your video, whether you, or any other transperson, in a western society would be dysphoric if they were accepted as a "third gender."  It is a good thought experiment.

However, I believe, that in my own case, that the dysphoria is organic.  That it to say, it results from have a somewhat (but not fully) masculine body (from my 46,XY genotype), but a somewhat undermasculized (or even feminized) brain.  And I see that as the result of things that went on in utero, long before any sort of socialization occurred.

True, societal expectations likely had an effect, but the mismatch of my gender identity (which I believe to be innate and largely immutable), with my phenotypical expression, seems to be the source of my discomfort.

So I see it as both nature and nurture.

Good video discussion.  Thanks.

While I have no problem with other peoples self declaration

I am afraid I have done a great deal of self search - I am in the wrong body - I would die for the ability to bear a child - not possible with this one (and don't go telling me I can participate in having children with another womn another way, I want to be the one carrying the child  :))

I like the discussion so far, keep it coming. And just to clarify, for those who may think otherwise- this is obviously just my own thoughts and in no way am I projecting my interpretation on the entire trans community. On the contrary, I'm trying to recognize it's diversity. I also don't think my dysphoria would be completely gone in a different culture, but it's interesting to think about how my transgender identity would manifest. I also know that these "third sexes" in other cultures are often still seen as a disadvantaged class, but you'll also note that with many of them their situation has worsened as globalization persists. Spread of western norms perhaps? Hmmmmm, so many questions.

Quote from: Cindy. on July 14, 2013, 11:57:21 AM

Ahh can I sneak in and say you are a really good looking guy.

Quote from: Ms. OBrien CVT on July 14, 2013, 04:20:12 PM
Anyone told you that you are sexy?  grrrrrr.

Oh, well then, I agree! ;D I was just scared that it might have been inappropriate to blurt it out randomly. :P

Quote from: Jamison on July 14, 2013, 05:10:28 PM
I also know that these "third sexes" in other cultures are often still seen as a disadvantaged class, but you'll also note that with many of them their situation has worsened as globalization persists. Spread of western norms perhaps? Hmmmmm, so many questions.

While not being a big scholar on this topic, I've done reading before on the warias in Indonesia and gender-variants elsewhere, as well as just homosexuality in general, and I think the spread of Western cultures has made LGBTs worse-off in some cases. Such as, in the Arabian peninsula and elsewhere in the middle east, it used to be considered normal to have feelings of a not-exactly-straight nature of members of the same sex, some languages didn't even have a word for homosexuality until Westerns brought the concept in. Also, there's quite a bit of militant Christian (and probably other religions) extremists from Western cultures that are going into developing regions and spreading messages of hate regarding LGBT people while out on missionary expeditions: "We see American evangelists, clearly thrilled to find more fertile soil for anti-gay rabble-rousing than they did at home, whipping up crowds to take action against "sodomites" who would corrupt their children." Quote from  this NPR review on the documentary Call me Kuchu  (http://www.npr.org/2013/06/14/190459352/it-takes-a-gay-village-in-call-me-kuchu).

Having just spent part of the weekend volunteering at the Gender Spectrum (https://www.genderspectrum.org/) Family Conference and being the parent of a gender-fluid offspring, I know that there is more to gender than the binary.

That said, I was born into the wrong culture AND the wrong body.

While I was married, I was never threatened when my wife made more money than me or had an easier time getting work than me. My dream job was to be a househusband. That goes dramatically against my culture, and it had no bearing on my gender identity or need to transition.

My need to transition comes not from how I fear others might perceive me, but from what I know is wrong with my body. There is a physical sense of wrongness on my chest and between my legs.

Yes, I was born into the wrong body. I understand this does not apply to many people under the trans* umbrella. Yes, it would be easier if I had been born into the right culture. But, unless I was "born female" I still would've been born in the wrong body.

For me, this statement is not limiting but true.

Great topic. I heard one trans woman say if society were different she would not take hormones and just dress and that  got me thinking and is kinda inline with this topic. Because for me I think I would transition if there weren't a single person left in the world. not only that, I used to daydream of the apocalypse because if everyone was gone that would make it much easier for me to transition. I obviously don't want that but I'm just saying that for me it has almost nothing to do with society. It is completely organic.

I don't know about being born in the wrong body, but I do know my body is wrong. It needs to be fixed. I don't what or how it went haywire, but it did. Not societal expectations or culture, just physically wrong.

I would not feel better if "trans" or "third gender" were accepted. I am neither. I am a man whose body grew female. This is just wrong.

For me, I would have transitioned regardless of society providing other options or not.  When I was younger, I felt like my body did not reflect how I wanted to present myself to the world, so I presented something entirely different.  No doubt that thought process was influenced by societal expectations placed on me.

As I got older, I embraced my masculine side more and more as I saw aspects of masculinity that I liked.  However, my body dysphoria remained regardless of my acceptance of a more masculine gender role, so I doubt another option that allowed me to be present a less masculine side of me would have helped.

In fact, my ability to find happiness meeting western society's expectations of masculinity caused me more confusion and heartache than anything else.  I honestly felt that I was not woman enough to transition, and that I had no business calling myself transsexual.  I even thought I was fetishist , but I felt no sexual excitement while cross dressed.

When I finally decided to transition, both my family and therapist doubted my sincerity to transition because I wanted to maintain a more masculine personality.  Thus the question became why transition when you are happy being masculine?  To them, there really was no good reason for me to transition.  My therapist seemed more than a little incredulous of my desire to transition, and would ask me on several occasions if I was happy as a woman.

Now that I think about it, if I had a third gender option when I was younger, I would probably be a lot more feminine today.  If a third gender option became available during my adulthood, I would have transitioned sooner, and it would have probably been smoother.

I like that there is a variety of feelings about how we were born and all that. It's definitely interesting. I still feel that something was flipped the wrong way or my genetics crossed or something when I was being made because I was definitely supposed to be born physically male. I can never fully fix this (this is just how I feel) but what I can do is close enough for me, heh. I will be happy once I have transitioned physically because I will feel right. I will be comfortable walking around my house shirtless. Yes, I do care about how others perceive me, I am human, but I need it more for my own comfort. I need to feel that I am the man I was meant to be from the beginning, everywhere.

This is an awesome video (and you are one of those really hot trans men). I don't feel like I was born in the wrong body either.
I went to a presentation about the subject you talk about, and very many non-Western indigenous cultures have had third gender or other kinds of trans* persons who were needed by their societies and so on. SOME of these societies do not treat trans* people badly in fact in some cases they are considered sacred-- being able to hold both the male and female, or something like that anyway. I think it is nearly impossible to extrapolate from our experience to how it would be if trans* was welcomed. For instance, I feel that my chest is not right, but I don't actually know how I would feel if the tie-in from gender to secondary sex characteristics were severed. Suppose it were no big deal to have them as a male. I have no idea how that would be.

--Jay

I'd love agree with your position and feel similarly, however it'd be nice if I wasn't more than 3 times as likely to be assaulted than a cis woman according to the current statistics in the violence reports I've looked at for MTF individuals in the LGBT community.  It's another reason why stealth transition is safer in my opinion, just harder to cope with when you have the conflicting desire to reject your disguise.  Also, I love kids, and I really wish I could have had my own as a woman.

Granted, I didn't fit the guy-mold well in our culture, and you make some valid points.  But most of the other 3rd-sexes in other cultures were MTFs aren't they?  I don't remember any FTMs from the documentaries I've watched.  It also seemed to me that many of them were subjected to an underclass status, while in the U.S. people are regionally transphobic at a greater or lesser degree but we can live lives that aren't rigidly structured for others entertainment or to attend to unfulfilled familial duties (as the fafafini do both).  It might not be viewed as shameful by some cultures, but I don't know of a culture that readily accepts FTM and MTF individuals as equals.

I was born in my body.  If I could have altered a chromosome en utero I would have, but alas my Tardis is broken.
Maybe a few years from now, after getting SRS I might have a different answer.

Being born in the wrong body actually does sum up how I feel about myself very well.  I do fit into the binary pretty well though, so that could by why?  I get that not everybody does fit neatly into the gender social norms society has set, and that this phrase leaves them out and I can see how it could make them feel lesser if it was just a blanket phrase that the rest of the world used for trans people.  And I also agree with you that most of the social gender conventions we have come from the patriarchal society most cultures exist under.

Also, you are handsome :)

I agree. We should take other gender possibilities and considerations into account. If I want to walk down the street in a miniskirt and sporting a ZZ Top beard it should be OK. I should only be rediculed if I also wasn't wearing cheap sunglasses.

BTW, I agree with the others, you be lookin' good.

I like anything like this, but plenty of others have already stated what I was thinking on certain things, so EHH~ I'll leave them to it. Personally, I wouldn't say entirely I am in the 'wrong body' per say, but it does easily enough describe me, how I feel, that I don't care about using it. I don't believe I'm a mistake, but it goes far deeper than that, and it's therefore a little harder to say, but 'wrong body' still works, it's just not a mistake that I am as I am.  ::)

Also, as others have said, you're pretty hot. So woo, congratulations! I am sure plenty of boys and girls want a piece of that.  :icon_giggle:

Fantastic Video!! :D I think what you're saying very accurately describes the way a lot of transgendered people feel. For a while I was very worried that I wouldn't be believed as transexual because I never felt "born in the wrong body." This video was very helpful. Thanks. ^_^ You are a very smart guy.

Quote from: Jamison on July 14, 2013, 10:42:24 AM
http://youtu.be/pQZyUIAlEo0 (http://youtu.be/pQZyUIAlEo0)
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fyoutu.be%2FpQZyUIAlEo0&hash=e72e87667cb54dda66aaf33a3f3b455a1b192d4c)

Made this video to explain how I feel about the phrase, "born in the wrong body." I'm curious to think what others think.

Interesting video. I think if I was in an accepting culture, I would feel less dysphoric. I would maybe not even get top surgery--it's not so much that I hate my chest as it is that I hate that people see my chest and automatically think "girl/woman," when that's not what I am at all.

But then, there would still be the issue of attraction--that is, what gay guy would want to be with me if I never got top surgery? I know that some pre-op transguys have boyfriends but I think I'd probably still feel inadequate/insecure if I didn't get top surgery.

So either way, I don't think I would change my actual transition plans, it would just be easier since people wouldn't look at me and think, "Wait... is that a girl or a guy?" And I could probably go out in public without practically having a panic attack (some days I'm fine, but lately I just have excessive anxiety about it).

Great topic and discussions.  It does come down to decisions.  Am I in the wrong body, or do I have the wrong mind.  Which one predominates and is given control over the other in our internal discussions.  This a balancing question, and so highly dependent on the individual.  Same problem, different feelings toward what is considered the best solution.

I don't hate my body, and I would be so comfortable with a new brain dropped into it.  Also, I would be just as comfortable with a new body draped around my current mind.  What I really hate is the position i live in from day to day, not the components.  Doesn't make for pleasant internal conversations during my days, but that is me.

Barbara

It's funny, though, I keep coming back to it as an explanation. If you have to explain the whole darn thing it's just hard.


-Jay

I dunno, I really thought about this and it seems to go back to the "identity vs medical condition" debate. Everyone has a different perspective and mine is that I was born in the wrong body. I've always wanted to be seen as male outside because that has always been how I viewed myself. I have always wanted a penis, flat chest, beard, etc. It wasn't that I felt uncomfortable being viewed as a masculine or "butch" female at one time by society because of outside influences. I was uncomfortable with that because it was a misrepresentation of who I was.

I may be in the minority but I've never really cared what people thought about me. I'm not talking about being bullied or anything, of course that is bothersome. What I'm talking about is more like I have never lived my life in a certain way to please others. You mentioned that if you weren't worried so much about how a straight girl would view your body you might not have medically transitioned as far as you have. For me it's never been about what anyone thought. All of this has been about how I view myself. Again, everyone's mileage may vary on this but the medical condition "born in the wrong body" rings true for myself.

For me the moniker of "born in the wrong body" never really fit either. As posted elsewhere, it was not the wrong body, merely one that felt was not very useful or desirable (not in the sexual sense, but in terms of "who would want such a thing"). I scared the heck out of  a colleague many years ago, way before realising that I was trans, when I stated that I would sell everything I had, give up all my friends and family, if someone came up to me and offered to do a certain procedure on me. The planned end result can be seen below. I would have given up everything to no longer have to deal with the lump of flesh that surrounded my brain, which I saw as the only part that was really "me". It has only really been after starting HRT that I have begun to truly feel that my body is an integral part of my identity, rather than a mere appendage that I occasionally found partially useful.

(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.flashforum.de%2Fimages%2Farticles%2Fsimon_wright.jpg&hash=b21352bc41494cd6a828f4ed0e5948201423f832)

My personal view of my birth and the body I have is that chemical things that were going on with my mom while she was pregnant with me pretty much set the stage for me being how I am. Is it necessarily "wrong" though? I did used to think I was "born in the wrong body" during a particularly bad stretch of time in my life, but I gave that up. It is what it is. Nothing can go back and change what happened to me in the womb.

The problem with society is that there already are "third" genders and there have been throughout history – intersex people (and trans if you really want to get down to it). In some cultures they were totally acknowledged, in U.S. society they're still basically ignored, surgically altered without their consent, and most hide it if they can because of risk of idiots calling them freaks. I don't know if I'm legitimately intersex, but I'm different enough to have been at the receiving end of crappy doctors, and feeling like if people "found out" they'd think I was a freak. Add being trans on top that and I'm sure you can see how there were many points in my life where I was having issues with gender.

Now, I am a big proponent of the, "wouldn't it be nice if everyone could just be themselves and society accept that". I realize that's a bit of a pipe dream but just the fact more people are accepting gay as being natural and not some abnormal thing, I can hope that one day people will accept trans*, genderqueer, intersex, and everything else on the gender spectrum as normal and natural too. I don't think there's anything wrong or abnormal with me. I'm not the same as everyone else, but no two people are really alike, everyone is different. People can have similarities and things in common, but everyone is having a unique total experience in this life.

Honestly, part of what made me think I wasn't trans for so long was the fact that everyone refers to it as "being born in the wrong body", and I just didn't understand what that meant. Yes, I hate my body and wish I was born in a male body. But that doesn't make me feel like I was born into the wrong body. Rather, I just feel like my life as a whole sucks, and would rather I had never been born at all. Not to put a dark cloud over this thread. I can't really describe it any better than that.

I'm not sure if my mom drank while she was preggo or what happened, but I have a LOT of health issues, and a lot of mental health issues as well. I spent my entire childhood as the sickly kid who's always missing school, and as a child spent a lot of my spare time crying under the dining room table in my house because of how much I hated my family and life. Maybe if I hadn't been so unhappy about the other aspects of my life, I would feel like I was simply born into the wrong body. But instead I just feel like I was never supposed to be born at all.

The whole "born in the wrong body" thing was what convinced me that I wasn't really transgender for so many years. I've wished to be female ever since I was a little kid, but it's only been a source of distress since my early twenties -- when I first found myself alone. "Born in the wrong body" may apply to some people with extreme dysphoria, but personally I always felt more like my inner self and my outer (physical) self were out of allignment. Not that my body was wrong, but that I couldn't reconcile it. I talk to my therapist a lot about a disconnect between the self and the person others interact with. Much of it is related to gender, but I don't think anything is black and white. When people address me by my name it makes my mind reel. It's very disconcerting. There's a clear disconnect between my identity and my physical body, but I think it's more a product of the mind than the body. You are your brain. So if the two have to compete, the brain MUST win. Otherwise you'll never be content.

You made a lot of really good points, but I was glad you mentioned several examples of other genders. I think it's really cool that in some cultures transpeople are revered, such as the two-spirit becoming shamans. :)

Also, you said you have a girly face. I know we're our own worst critics and you might sometimes still see a girl when you look in the mirror. But I was still a little shocked when you said it. All I saw was a man. A very good looking man too.

I love the tattoo on your forearm btw. What is it of?

Quote from: D0LL on July 25, 2013, 10:00:37 AM
Maybe if I hadn't been so unhappy about the other aspects of my life, I would feel like I was simply born into the wrong body. But instead I just feel like I was never supposed to be born at all.

FWIW.... *hugs*

Quote from: Jillian on July 31, 2013, 02:13:44 AM
The whole "born in the wrong body" thing was what convinced me that I wasn't really transgender for so many years. I've wished to be female ever since I was a little kid, but it's only been a source of distress since my early twenties -- when I first found myself alone. "Born in the wrong body" may apply to some people with extreme dysphoria, but personally I always felt more like my inner self and my outer (physical) self were out of allignment. Not that my body was wrong, but that I couldn't reconcile it. I talk to my therapist a lot about a disconnect between the self and the person others interact with. Much of it is related to gender, but I don't think anything is black and white. When people address me by my name it makes my mind reel. It's very disconcerting. There's a clear disconnect between my identity and my physical body, but I think it's more a product of the mind than the body. You are your brain. So if the two have to compete, the brain MUST win. Otherwise you'll never be content.

You made a lot of really good points, but I was glad you mentioned several examples of other genders. I think it's really cool that in some cultures transpeople are revered, such as the two-spirit becoming shamans. :)

Also, you said you have a girly face. I know we're our own worst critics and you might sometimes still see a girl when you look in the mirror. But I was still a little shocked when you said it. All I saw was a man. A very good looking man too.

I love the tattoo on your forearm btw. What is it of?

Thanks. It's a Banksy piece. He painted it on a barrier wall in the West Bank at the site of a massacre during the first intifada.
You can see it here: http://mw2.google.com/mw-panoramio/photos/medium/74224336.jpg (http://mw2.google.com/mw-panoramio/photos/medium/74224336.jpg)

Quote from: Jamison on July 31, 2013, 02:36:59 AM
Thanks. It's a Banksy piece. He painted it on a barrier wall in the West Bank at the site of a massacre during the first intifada.
You can see it here: http://mw2.google.com/mw-panoramio/photos/medium/74224336.jpg (http://mw2.google.com/mw-panoramio/photos/medium/74224336.jpg)

I don't know the reference, sorry. Is that a bird with a bullet proof vest? I'm curious now. Massacre? What massacre? What happened? What does the tattoo mean to you?

Sorry if I'm derailing the topic but I'm a curious bird. lol :P

Quote from: Jillian on July 31, 2013, 03:06:41 AM
I don't know the reference, sorry. Is that a bird with a bullet proof vest? I'm curious now. Massacre? What massacre? What happened? What does the tattoo mean to you?

Sorry if I'm derailing the topic but I'm a curious bird. lol :P

It's cool, I should of clarified. Banksy is a political-orientated street artist. There's a documentary about him called, "Exit Through the Gift Shop," you may have seen. The piece shows a dove, with an olive branch (a peace reference) with a bullet proof vest and a target. It faces an Israeli military watchtower and is on a wall with numerous bullet holes, some from when 40 Palestinians were rounded up and shot against this wall. That is the massacre I'm referring to, though over 1K Palestinians died in this uprising. If you want to read more about it, just google first initifada. It occurred between 87-91. A second intifada occurred in 2000.

Quote from: Jamison on July 31, 2013, 07:34:32 PM
It's cool, I should of clarified. Banksy is a political-orientated street artist. There's a documentary about him called, "Exit Through the Gift Shop," you may have seen. The piece shows a dove, with an olive branch (a peace reference) with a bullet proof vest and a target. It faces an Israeli military watchtower and is on a wall with numerous bullet holes, some from when 40 Palestinians were rounded up and shot against this wall. That is the massacre I'm referring to, though over 1K Palestinians died in this uprising. If you want to read more about it, just google first initifada. It occurred between 87-91. A second intifada occurred in 2000.

I haven't seen that documentary, but I know the one you're talking about. I'll have to watch it. It sounds pretty heavy though.

I was thinking about this more and it occurred to me that maybe instead of "born in the wrong body" it might be more accurate to say "raised in the wrong gender role."

What do you all think? Does that makes sense to anyone else?

Quote from: Jillian on August 01, 2013, 07:00:25 PM
I was thinking about this more and it occurred to me that maybe instead of "born in the wrong body" it might be more accurate to say "raised in the wrong gender role."

What do you all think? Does that makes sense to anyone else?

Yeah, that sounds more like how I feel. But even though I wouldn't describe myself as being "born in the wrong body," I do think the phrase is useful because it's easier for cis-folks to imagine "What if I were exactly myself, but born in a body that didn't match my current self?" than "What if I were raised in another gender role?"

I was born with a boy's body and feel pragmatic about why I am transgender.  The theoretical part of being trans is fascinating but does not change my personal history.  In early childhood I thought I would become a girl and grow up to be a mom.  While it would be nice to have factual and simple answers for why, the answers will not change the course I am now on with transition.  My generalized body dysphoria of a lifetime is gone and the successful treatment is transition and living full time as Tessa.  While I respect different perspectives the "wrong body" statement suggests a destiny or predetermined conclusion to who we are.   I had all kinds of discomfort about the cultural man I could never be but I also felt the real presence of what I then called my shadow self with a feminine body. 

I guess I was born in the right body to be transgendered ;)

Quote from: Tessa James on August 02, 2013, 07:35:03 AM
I guess I was born in the right body to be transgendered ;)

I like that. :)

I don't really think of myself being born in the wrong body, maybe more like I got the wrong gender mark from birth, but I where too young to know what it ment and complain. I wont jugde them, they where also pretty confussed as well ::).
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I think culture are not only dealing with gender in our sociaty but also gender withing transgender sociaty on which word to be used and such thing.
ex, I feel wierd using "transexual" transexual is not much of an accepted word in my comunety its better to say transgender or trans-people.
this things really goes from everything to how open we may or may not be to what we may use to decribe ourself, even the actions in some part.

I dont know what makes or dont make us transgender, I belive its a varientions in nature which people cant understand, I dont get why we only need to have male or female, why cant we have multiply female or males like in certain species, In some way I already belive we have them but wont aknowlegde it that we exist, but as a writter I often play with the idea on how it would be being trans in a sociaty where being trans would be more like being just a diffrent type or man or woman, like a redhaired or something who really isnt no big deal. I guess if it had been so I would still had transitioned but my transition would be based diffrently, it would be less of a deal in some way I belive, like getting brace on your teeth. I somethimes belive we dont notice all how it infects us and somethimes we do,

ex theres been articlas because sweden this year got rid of the law to force sterilization on transgender people. Its not forced in as people force you to sit down and tie you to the chair, its more like telling you "either you do this surgery, or also the goverment wont aknowlegde you as a man or woman no matter what you do you will always be registered as the sex you where born as".

it have been normal part of life, I belived I would be having this ALONE for the fact thats that how you do if your serious about being trans. not being able to get children is part of being trans, my parrent asked me when I where to get top surgery "your sure you wont get any children?"
I said I was sure. even when I now dont see how its fair.
when the law of sterilization got off due to activism and being agenst humans right it have made alot of people questionate why they took the decision in first place. Those people who did it alone to get there name, pasport or ID changed felt molested.

it just an exemple on how we may adapt to something. I am not agenst hystomy or bottom surgery, just the concept that people are forced into the hard choice of not having there right, or never having children.
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I wasn't born in the wrong body either, just one that doesn't live up to my expectations. I was born with naturally pronating feet and femoral torsion that has caused me knee problems, I don't say I was born with the wrong legs. I suffer from mental illness, I don't say I was born with the wrong brain. I don't get along with my dad, I don't say I was born to the wrong parents. All of it just is and I either try to make it work or I don't.

I definitely wasn't born in the wrong body, I'm just not happy with the way i was configured and wish to re-calibrate my equipment

Hi,

For some yes they see it that way , of being born in the wrong body.
For myself iv never had a problem  though im some what different & there are some who dont understand and dont  wont to.  so iv given up on explaining myself, & its not in the real world of life, im very well accepted with my difference, a member of many groups, soc & have been for a while, how i look does not come into it, so being intersex does cover myself in many ways ,

And knowing what you are from very young has helped as well & as others who know myself will say im just a normal female thats a bit different , so one can be accepted in socity & the communitys we are part of how you go about that will depend on each of us as to who we are,

...noeleena...

I would like to say I feel I was born in the right body. But that would not be the truth I have never felt right in this body. I've always felt like I was a smaller person than the body I'm in. My parents said I never seemed to know my own size and that was because I really felt like I was smaller. I never felt like I should have been tall as I am I have learned over the years to adjust to the body I'm in but it still doesn't feel right to me. And I imagine it never will but I have to make do with what I have. I really wish I could say I'm in the right body but I really don't feel like I'm in the right body at all. :-\

I never associate with the term "born in the wrong body".  For some reason it didn't make sense to me.  I feel that my mind didn't adapt to my body not the other way around.  I feel that the dysphoria I have is in my mind not in my body.  Once I accept my body the way it is it will make it easier to adapt to what my mind is saying about me.