Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Ok so we have all heard the term residual self image basically how we perceive ourselves.   I am curious to know if anyone has experienced almost a clipping effect during transition where by you can be doing something and basically be perceiving your body as male then turn around and almost instantly your entire perception shifts to where your perceiving your body as female.   for me i also noticed that even much of the  perceived world shifts at the same time.  I call it HD goggles suddenly everything is much more detailed colorful and i feel in tune with my environment.    I say this effect has a tendency to clip because for me it seems like a old TV flickering on back and forth in perception a few times then it will hold on one or the other for awhile.   i think its important to note i dont have a shift in thought only a shift in how i am perceiving the information given to my brain.   I wish i could say its subtle but it seems rather vivid and abrupt.   I am not really worried about it but just curious if anyone else has experienced something similar.               

Yeah I've noticed that. Sometimes, I'll perceive my body as male and the world seems to become clearer. I think this is connected to feelings of happiness and confidence. When I perceive my body as female, I feel unhappy and self conscious, so I think kind of retreating into myself is what makes the outside world look more muted. (For lack of better words.)

I think I've reached a point where I see myself as female despite my negative self-image. Mostly, it comes from those around me and their perception of me. So being in a good environment is almost never a problem. The only times when I am reminded that I still have some incorrect appendages and proportions is being with family and when my legal name is used.

I get this with my non-TG-related dysphoria (that is, I feel like my body is much too big and the "right" size would be something quite medically impossible).

When I've had a few drinks, or sometimes if I zone out, I'll get the distinct feeling that I'm suddenly a very tiny person floating around in a normal-sized body that is a superficial extension of my physical self. Like, I will literally feel as though I have tunnel vision from looking "out" through my eyes because the "real" me is inside of my cranial cavity playing operator. I'll also get this feeling during my clumsy moments where I forget where my limbs are and what size they actually are. These are really cool, interesting moments and the "HD goggles" analogy is totally spot on for me.

Just a couple days ago I had this feeling hit me out of nowhere. I saw myself
suddenly as 100 percent female. All maleness was gone. Kind of strange
and hard to describe. A good feeling but a bit scary too in a way. Don't know
if it was the hormones working or what. I had just had an exceptionally
good day. It was so real and came out of nowhere.

I am glad i am not the only one who has had this experience.  To me its probably one of the best feelings i have experienced in transition.   I did find the appropriate word for it though its called Proprioception or the sense of ones own body and its relative position.   likewise my "HD goggles" would be exteroception changes or the sensitivity to external stimuli.     Lo, i have experienced the big then small perception before usually when i am exhausted and laying down and omg that is so unsettling.  almost feels like perception is un-anchored and in a fun house mirror.   

"Unanchored" is another good word for it! I find it comforting more than unsettling, though. I feel like the rest of the time I'm frozen in cryptonite and that "unanchoredness" is the feeling of being temporarily free and mobile and having my body back, in a way. It's a kind of lucidness that I've never experienced any other way. It sucks to come back to sober "reality". :\

And hmm never thought to think of this in terms of proprioception...