Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Last Saturday all my family (aunties, uncles, cousins...) went to a 50th birthday party for one of my cousins. I was never even told about this party.

My mum (told me yesterday), and that she got an invite. But she didn't go as she would not go without me!!!

My aunties children (all grown up) and her daughter, who the party was for, say they are supporting me, but not a one of them said anything to there mum, that me and my mum should be there.

The above auntie has (today) been told that I am moving away, and that I will never come back as I will be a stranger to everyone. But yet again, she still thinks after 11 months, that I am only wearing female clothes (like the ones you see who wear men's one day and ladies the next). When my mum told her she was coming with me, so she would not miss me changing, my auntie said "but you will still know he's Simon if you don't see him". My mum told her that she won't if she does not see me. I will be a stranger to her. But in the end of it all she still thinks I am going to still look like Simon (a man) in three years time, in female clothes.

One of my cousins said "moving is for the best" and another one has still yet to reply to my text, when I told her I was moving. That was two weeks ago. Sent her another one today to make her see that you do change totally (sent her a few pictures of mtf), and still no reply back.

So to me, all my family apart from my mum, step mum and dad, have decided to just f*** me off, because it's easier for them, than talking to there mum.

So right now I am really upset. I wish this would of happened when I told them I was changing my gender!!!

I'm sorry Bethany.  Family can be really harsh and cruel at times.  Hugs. 

I am glad you Mom is there for you. She sounds like a wonderful person; Cherish her and her friendship. I would rather have 1 true then 10 false.

I'm sorry hun people can be like that especially at the beginning. Wait two years or longer when you are like done with transition I'm sure they won't feel the same way after they see you.

Thanks everyone. Hope so. How does one explain to the family members who just think It's about wearing female clothes and make up?   

Quote from: bethanyjadefowell on July 16, 2013, 07:02:11 AM
Thanks everyone. Hope so. How does one explain to the family members who just think It's about wearing female clothes and make up?   

Easy answer, for me anyway. You don't. Your life is yours and not theirs and you owe no one any explainations. Just be thankful that your mom is supportive and from now on consider her the only family you have.

Quote from: bethanyjadefowell on July 16, 2013, 07:02:11 AM
Thanks everyone. Hope so. How does one explain to the family members who just think It's about wearing female clothes and make up?   

In my experience, the only way to prove it is to live it. Some people just can't believe things until the evidence is staring them in the face.

I'm sorry your extended family is treating you like this at the moment. But it sounds like you do have the love & support of your mum, step-mum and dad - so please try to concentrate on them if you can. It's important to surround yourself with supportive people right now; hopefully the rest of your family will come on board in time.

So my advice to you would be to keep moving steadily forwards with your transition, and let your extended family catch up with you in due course. After all, there will come a day when anyone who tries to call you by your old name will make themselves look like a complete idiot. ;)

Honestly the best way is to move out and away. Being home with people who don't believe in you is the most awful thing, and I totally know how you feel! A new start with new people will be a refreshing start.
But since they are your family and they probably love you, just let them be. You can't change them more than you can change yourself into what they want. So if you ever visit, you never know, they might finally see the real you. But at that point, I doubt you'd be discouraged it they don't.

Also, don't hesitate to PM me and stuff, since this is exactly what is happening to me. Even more so if you'll be in the LA area. :)

Quote from: FTMDiaries on July 16, 2013, 09:42:40 AM
In my experience, the only way to prove it is to live it. Some people just can't believe things until the evidence is staring them in the face.

I'm sorry your extended family is treating you like this at the moment. But it sounds like you do have the love & support of your mum, step-mum and dad - so please try to concentrate on them if you can. It's important to surround yourself with supportive people right now; hopefully the rest of your family will come on board in time.

So my advice to you would be to keep moving steadily forwards with your transition, and let your extended family catch up with you in due course. After all, there will come a day when anyone who tries to call you by your old name will make themselves look like a complete idiot. ;)

I'm starting to believe this is really the only way some people can be convinced.  God knows I have tried hard with my family.  I don't think there is ever a guarantee, but I think this will work for most hard headed family members.   I also agree that it is awesome that you have the support of your mother and believe you should focus on her at this point in time.

But if I did come back, they could still say "you've not changed".

There are videos on youtube (by this MTF) who changed totally, but her dad says she hasn't changed and calls her by her man's name!!

I don't want that happening IF I ever come back. (Don't think I'll come back anyway)

Quote from: bethanyjadefowell on July 19, 2013, 08:19:11 AM
But if I did come back, they could still say "you've not changed".

Then send them to Specsavers... ;)

You never know: given half a chance, your family might surprise you.