Susan's Place Transgender Resources

So there I was...just doing routine stuff, when a guy came up...quick once-over, he's a US Marine...very fit, sharp eyes...

Suddenly my breath gets shallow and rapid...my head drops coyly, my eyes raised and sparkling as I take in more of this Man...oh man!...he's just a bit taller, *very* fit, broad shoulders and big arms that I wanted to grasp...and why are my legs feeling weak? I only need to drape one leg over his hip, and I'd be in ecstasy...

Wait, WTH?? I thought I liked girls! When did this happen?!?

Orientation? What's that?

Yeah that happens! E has been an eye opening experience for me when it comes to men. And for some reason I've developed a like for men on motorcycles. ;)

Man oh man, a man...

Yeah - no matter what your orientation beforehand, taking hormones basically puts you on a turntable and lets you spin.

Which, I guess, confuses horribly the question of "Was I born gay or straight or bi?"

Tbh I'm finding myself confused about my preferences and I haven't even began a transition yet.

Quote from: Dreams2014 on July 26, 2013, 03:28:54 PM
Tbh I'm finding myself confused about my preferences and I haven't even began a transition yet.

Then You are up for a lotsa surprises ;) I was straight for all my life, now when I am looking at my co-worker, I cant help but I keep noticing his broad shoulders and chest, and I like to watch his biceps playing under the shirt. And then I realise what I am looking at and my response goes "WTF???"

Quote from: -Emily- on July 26, 2013, 03:39:18 PM
Then You are up for a lotsa surprises ;)

*whew!*

*pant, pant* *waves hand in front of face*

Yeah, surprises. Sir Prizes. Omg, where's my VJJ when I need her?

I never understood how orientation changes but I think it has more to do with inner accpetance of you are then hormones actually changing who you are attracted to. I feel like it lets the real you come out and shine. I have always liked men and women. But I like all types of men and the only type of women I will date is a masculine or butchy woman. That hasn't changed. What has changed is I am more open about liking men. But that sounds hawt Beth!

Tbh it's been in these recent days that I've noticed if I view...err...adult videos I find myself no longer desiring the woman. I find myself wanting to be in the woman's position. That kind of realization is hilarious.

I'd believe that...I have been feeling more liberated lately, once I got over the shock of wife and kids telling me to stay away...even so, I'm not sexually attracted to most people.

So far, only *very* fit men, and women with short hair (pixie or moderately "buzzed"). All bets are off with a redhead, though. For emotional relationships, as long as one is polite and attentive...:)

Quote from: Dreams2014 on July 26, 2013, 03:50:11 PM
Tbh it's been in these recent days that I've noticed if I view...err...adult videos I find myself no longer desiring the woman. I find myself wanting to be in the woman's position. That kind of realization is hilarious.

Yup, that's me. And I am losing interest in lesbian porn...omg, I'm turning straight!

Quote from: Dreams2014 on July 26, 2013, 03:50:11 PM
Tbh it's been in these recent days that I've noticed if I view...err...adult videos I find myself no longer desiring the woman. I find myself wanting to be in the woman's position. That kind of realization is hilarious.

Uh huh. And when You start taking hormones at some point of time You realise that actually You do not want to watch err.. adult videos... at all :P Now, that kind of realization is even more hilarious :)

Quote from: -Emily- on July 26, 2013, 03:54:32 PM
Uh huh. And when You start taking hormones at some point of time You realise that actually You do not want to watch err.. adult videos... at all :P Now, that kind of realization is even more hilarious :)

But what will I do without teh p0rn?!1111

Quote from: Dreams2014 on July 26, 2013, 03:55:53 PM
But what will I do without teh p0rn?!1111

Err.. where exactly is the problem? :D You will do something else - which will contribute towards Your personality in a much better and self-fulfilling manner ;).

You're simply accepting the stone hard truth that men are smexier than women. Embrace it.

Quote from: Miss Bungle on July 26, 2013, 04:58:41 PM
I don't know about all of that. Men still do nothing for me at all.

Zero. Zip. Zilch. Nada.

Women on the other hand, turn me on even more post orchi. Nothing physical happens...you know...down there but elsewhere it's like WOW!! ;D

I have a hard time understanding you gynophiliacs. Women are hot, but men are just, wow. Their size, their stance, their attitude, their chiseled features, their voice. /swoon

D:<

Omg....a guy in uniform....*Catches my breath*
I do understand your confusion tho hun. I have always been more along the lines of Bi, but this transformation is quickly turning a sister into a Boobiesexual (a woman who loves boobs but is otherwise straight)  and trust me it's really confusing....especially when i start getting the urge to sell my truck for *cold chills* a car.

I've noticed I've become more attracted to men lately when prior to transitioning I had 0% interest in them.

I think part of it is that all the things I disliked about men were all masculine traits that I didn't like on me.

Now that my masculine traits are slowly going away, I can appreciate an attractive guy without feeling really gross about myself.

Another thing is I think through this whole process of transitioning and the self-discovery and comfort with oneself that I've developed has allowed me to explore these feelings that I would never let myself think about before.

Quote from: kariann330 on July 26, 2013, 05:19:19 PM
Boobiesexual (a woman who loves boobs but is otherwise straight)

LOL I think I may be one. >.<

I'm jealous.

Being attracted to a man is one female experience that eludes me. I do want to play the underneath role (but only with female parts, not what I have now). But I haven't yet seen a man I'm attracted to in any way.

Women are looking less attractive, perhaps because I can no longer take full advantage of their special parts and if I want to feel breasts, I can just grab my own chest, so that loses it's thrill. But that hasn't been replaced by attraction to men.

Sigh.

Quote from: suzifrommd on July 26, 2013, 05:47:45 PM
I'm jealous.

Being attracted to a man is one female experience that eludes me. I do want to play the underneath role (but only with female parts, not what I have now). But I haven't yet seen a man I'm attracted to in any way.

Women are looking less attractive, perhaps because I can no longer take full advantage of their special parts and if I want to feel breasts, I can just grab my own chest, so that loses it's thrill. But that hasn't been replaced by attraction to men.

Sigh.

Well, I've been on teh 'Mones for 17 months, and this is the first time it's happened...so maybe there's a time span that happens before you "allow" yourself to see their smexyness.

It's a pretty powerful experience, here it is 4 hours later, and I'm still doing kegels and...errr....enjoying the memory. :P

Woof!

something like this happened to me when a bunch of shirtless guys were jogging by my car from the military base...

Quote from: KaylaP on July 26, 2013, 07:42:12 PM
something like this happened to me when a bunch of shirtless guys were jogging by my car from the military base...

Pix or it didn't happen!  :icon_dribble: Your stare was holdin', Ripped jeans, skin was showin' Hot night, wind was blowin' Where you think you're going, baby? ... Oh sorry! Got a bit carried away there.

I have noticed, since this has all started, I have felt a stronger attraction to men. I have always been bisexual, but ohhh boy~ Maybe it'll get stronger even yet! Already have to stop myself from drooling a bit, sometimes! I think I failed a little, today!  ;D

I'm curious if the reverse has ever happened.  Has anyone who was straight take hrt and become a lesbian?  It seems like the hormones work in one direction from what I gather.  I guess that makes sense, but I don't know. 

I've always liked guys so hrt has done nothing for me.  Perhaps if I am on it long enough I will become super straight,lol. 

Quote from: learningtolive on July 26, 2013, 08:39:30 PM
I'm curious if the reverse has ever happened.  Has anyone who was straight take hrt and become a lesbian?

I'm not sure of any orientation changes, but I have read that some girls become repulsed by the newly-detected male pheromones.

Quote from: Beth Andrea on July 26, 2013, 06:39:35 PM
Well, I've been on teh 'Mones for 17 months, and this is the first time it's happened...

I wonder what brought that on? Maybe Beth you did have feelings for men before but you just didn't realize it or suppressed the thoughts.  With me I always thought I was bi but always had a strong leaning towards men. Now prior to hormones I could be into a woman physically. But now looking at a beautiful woman  does nothing for me at all. Men on the other hand is a different story I look at men from a whole new perspective and it's not just based on looks either. I've been into a man just because I thought he was sweet and considerate. But it also does help if the man is sweet considerate and hot!!!  :laugh: Now women I wouldn't ever say I could never fall for a woman. But with women it's more of an emotional attraction and not a physical attraction.
But really I'm not really attracted by a persons gender I'm attracted to the person whether they be male or female (Preferably male  ;) ) I'm attracted to that person because I love them and want to be with them. If being trans has taught me anything it's that a person is more than their gender.  :)

Yes, before I HRT I considered myself bi...about 90% for women, 10% for men. (I actually told my therapist that if I were in a room with 10 men and 10 women, chances are I'd "do" 9 of the women and 1 of the men--meaning, 9 out of 10 women would excite me, but only 1 of the 10 men would get me "happy.")

This may have been the "one" that I'd have done (or who I'd allow to do me!).  :-* If it happens again in the near future, I will be able to say something is changing. A friend of mine said she'd changed once she got on HRT, in fact now she's wondering if she is "just" gay...

Quote from: Beth Andrea on July 26, 2013, 11:32:43 PM
Yes, before I HRT I considered myself bi...about 90% for women, 10% for men. (I actually told my therapist that if I were in a room with 10 men and 10 women, chances are I'd "do" 9 of the women and 1 of the men--meaning, 9 out of 10 women would excite me, but only 1 of the 10 men would get me "happy.")

This may have been the "one" that I'd have done (or who I'd allow to do me!).  :-* If it happens again in the near future, I will be able to say something is changing. A friend of mine said she'd changed once she got on HRT, in fact now she's wondering if she is "just" gay...

Well this just might be the one guy your into. Now if you get like me and go to gym everyday just to check out guys.  ;) Your sexuality may have changed but I bet it hasn't you just seen a cute guy and you can recognize that now that's all!  :)

Right now my orientation is on that merry-go-round, unsure where it will stop. There's little libido to talk of, but I have been noticing both guys and girls.

Before HRT, I was only interested in girls.

Wherever I end up is just fine though :)

So, I think that I have only found men attractive in the "abstract".  That is, I find myself fantasizing about being swept off my feet by a chiseled hairless super-fit guy with a warm sensitive personality and a strong aggressive nature in the bedroom.  But when I think of guys in real life, they are overweight, hairy and repulsive.  However I find just about all women beautiful and I find myself hypnotized by them.

I think the idea of being with a man, for me is more about embracing womanhood than it is about sexual attraction.  I think I am attracted to the idea of being with a man only in the sense that it will make me feel more like a woman, and not so much that I'm actually attracted to them. 

Just my $0.02

J.

Quote from: SciNerdGirl on July 27, 2013, 12:10:09 AM
So, I think that I have only found men attractive in the "abstract".  That is, I find myself fantasizing about being swept off my feet by a chiseled hairless super-fit guy with a warm sensitive personality and a strong aggressive nature in the bedroom. But when I think of guys in real life, they are overweight, hairy and repulsive.  However I find just about all women beautiful and I find myself hypnotized by them.

I think the idea of being with a man, for me is more about embracing womanhood than it is about sexual attraction.  I think I am attracted to the idea of being with a man only in the sense that it will make me feel more like a woman, and not so much that I'm actually attracted to them. 

Just my $0.02

J.

That's the guy I saw today, LOL! They're out there...but yeah, most cis-guys are just slobs, imho.

That's how I've felt about men my entire life. I used to be so jealous of girls when I would see them with their boyfriends. Now I know I can have that too. one day.

I was and still am bi,I think I was attracted to women 75% men 25% now it's 50/50.If I have noodles I want rice tomorrow!

Quote from: Dreams2014 on July 26, 2013, 03:55:53 PM
But what will I do without teh p0rn?!1111

Do like I do and use the time and money that you would have spent there on checking into a new outfit.  :D

Quote from: Christine167 on July 27, 2013, 05:29:44 AM
Do like I do and use the time and money that you would have spent there on checking into a new outfit.  :D

Do people still buy porn? There's so many free sites...

And in my life, I have more time than money...and one can't get STD's from the good friend at the end of one's arm (or the bed post LOL. ;) )

Quote from: Beth Andrea on July 26, 2013, 03:54:00 PM
Yup, that's me. And I am losing interest in lesbian porn...omg, I'm turning straight!

Amazing...going from straight to straight as a MTF....

Quote from: Dahlia on July 27, 2013, 10:08:12 AM
Amazing...going from straight to straight as a MTF....

;)

Quote from: Dahlia on July 27, 2013, 10:08:12 AM
Amazing...going from straight to straight as a MTF....

I don't believe in being straight or gay. I think love runs deeper than just gender. Sure I'm mainly attracted to men but I would only be lying to myself to say I can't fall for a woman. I'm attracted to who the person is not whats between their legs. But the more I think about it the more I realize I'm bi. If I limit the people I date based on gender I'm basically passing up on a person who could be the perfect match for me.  ;)

Quote from: Heather on July 27, 2013, 12:22:26 PM
I don't believe in being straight or gay. I think love runs deeper than just gender. Sure I'm mainly attracted to men but I would only be lying to myself to say I can't fall for a woman. I'm attracted to who the person is not whats between their legs. But the more I think about it the more I realize I'm bi. If I limit the people I date based on gender I'm basically passing up on a person who could be the perfect match for me.  ;)

I understand that sentiment,  but people are different.   I know plenty of straight and gay people that can't fall for rhe opposite team.  I have always been romantically straight and physically bi.  The idea of being in a relationship with a woman is uncomfortable to me, so I can't help my limitations when I have no control over it.  At 4he end of the day, we all differ.

Quote from: learningtolive on July 27, 2013, 12:58:17 PM
I understand that sentiment,  but people are different.   I know plenty of straight and gay people that can't fall for rhe opposite team.  I have always been romantically straight and physically bi.  The idea of being in a relationship with a woman is uncomfortable to me, so I can't help my limitations when I have no control over it.  At 4he end of the day, we all differ.

I just don't think sexuality is set in stone as some people believe it to be. In my case I think my sexuality has evolved as I've gotten older and have learned more about myself. I'm in a constant state change before hrt I thought I had it figured out but as my body and mind have changed so has my understanding of myself. I may be the extreme case because I'm on hormones but I believe our understanding of ourselves and our sexuality can change as we do.  ;)

Nothing is carved in stone...unless your heart is.

Kia Ora,

When I read things like this, I often wonder why HRT does not work for gay and lesbian people who want to be straight...

Self denial and the pressures to conform in a deeply entrenched heteronormative society can I believe push ones 'true' sexual orientation even further back into the closet than ones gender identity...HRT unlocks the closet door for ones gender identity to 'gradually' evolve, after which (in some cases) comes the deeply hidden 'true' sexual orientation...

In saying all this, I should add, it doesn't really matter how ones true sexual orientation came to the surface, just so long as one is NOW comfortable with this new found freedom of expression...

The Kinsey Scale's quite interesting...


Metta Zenda :)

Quote from: Heather on July 27, 2013, 01:57:17 PM
I just don't think sexuality is set in stone as some people believe it to be. In my case I think my sexuality has evolved as I've gotten older and have learned more about myself. I'm in a constant state change before hrt I thought I had it figured out but as my body and mind have changed so has my understanding of myself. I may be the extreme case because I'm on hormones but I believe our understanding of ourselves and our sexuality can change as we do.  ;)

I agree in some respects, but for some it is set in stone.  I think most people fall somewhere in the bi category, so it doesn't make sense to classify themselves as completely straight or gay.  However, I've rarely encountered a gay person who was entirely that way find themselves being interested in the opposite sex after time.  It does happen here in the trans community, but I suspect that has a lot to do with hormones and self realization.

Quote from: learningtolive on July 27, 2013, 04:01:34 PM
I agree in some respects, but for some it is set in stone.  I think most people fall somewhere in the bi category, so it doesn't make sense to classify themselves as completely straight or gay.  However, I've rarely encountered a gay person who was entirely that way find themselves being interested in the opposite sex after time.  It does happen here in the trans community, but I suspect that has a lot to do with hormones and self realization.

I don't think hormones changes are sexuality. Well it hasn't for me anyways. What it has changed is I'm now more in touch with how I'm feeling.
But with most people you will never know if their sexuality is set in stone. Because most people have too much of their identity wrapped up in their sexuality. Do you think a so called straight guy is ever going to admit he's attracted to a man? I think not!  ;) Now I'm totally into guys I love them! But I can fall for a woman it's just a different kind of attraction with women.

Quote from: learningtolive on July 26, 2013, 08:39:30 PM
I'm curious if the reverse has ever happened.  Has anyone who was straight take hrt and become a lesbian?  It seems like the hormones work in one direction from what I gather.  I guess that makes sense, but I don't know. 

I've always liked guys so hrt has done nothing for me.  Perhaps if I am on it long enough I will become super straight,lol.

LOL! +1!

yea, it kind of sneaks up on you. the first crush I had on a guy was at my old workplace. And it really threw me for a loop. But after a while I just learned to accept it. Then I met Caleb and it grew to be more than a crush... Life can be so complex sometimes. you'll just have to do like any member of the armed forces Beth, Adapt and overcome. ;)

I was, prior to HRT, completely straight - no attraction to men, period. Never felt anything close to attraction.

Now, I think I'm probably bi to female-straight - which is a huge difference from what I used to be, and which tells me that there is a great deal of mutability to sexuality, if I'm anything to go by.
Which makes it interesting seeing people claim sexuality's immutable/born that way... I always kinda want to wave and say "Not really/not always"

I got a similar impression, but prior to HRT. I always was straight; since a few months I start to realize that I might be Transgender. Since then I started to feel curious about the feeling involved with making love with a man. Even before I started this I bought a dildo and a vibrator just for trying them out and they immediatly became sticky, but I explained that as part of my submissive tendencies.

The last weeks I caught myself fantasizing about men more often. I'd still not have any sex with men, but I'm no longer sure if that isn't to be changing soon - even without HRT. I wonder if HRT will strenthen those feelings. I foresee that I will hustle myself into "cecking the options" after SRS.

That said, I never had any amourous feeling for men.

Quote from: PiaBianca on July 28, 2013, 09:29:21 AM


The last weeks I caught myself fantasizing about men more often. I'd still not have any sex with men, but I'm no longer sure if that isn't to be changing soon - even without HRT. I wonder if HRT will strenthen those feelings. I foresee that I will hustle myself into "cecking the options" after SRS.

If you really are into men hrt will bring that out. Now you may just be exploring your sexuality right now? And might not be into men at all. Now when you start getting crushes on men and will go see a movie you don't particularly care to see but think the guy playing superman is hot! Then you might really be into men. But really you should probably look deeper into these feelings you may find out it was just a fantasy.  :)

My sexuality these days is one huge mess, and I am no longer certain where I stand.  Most of the time I feel completely asexual, yet I still notice women, but now it feels more like a lingering habit that makes me look their way.  Men might as well be invisible to me when it comes to sexual attraction.

Despite these feelings when a man did show me attention, I responded with interest, which is more than a little surprising to me but not too surprising.  Before my transition, I was a very sexual and a very bicurious straight man.  Anyway, despite my interest I wanted nothing more from him than his attention.  When I received attention from a woman, I liked that as well, but again I think it was more the attention that I liked.  In both cases, I am pretty sure they wanted more from me.

It is weird.  I went from heterosexual (more likely bisexual) male with a high libido to lesbian in early transition with a moderate libido to sorta bicurious lesbian with almost no libido to something more resembling asexual but still notices women despite having no real desire for sex.  It appears the older I get the more I desire to be single.

To give people some context, I have been physically transitioning for four and a half years now.  During that time besides hrt I had an orchiectomy and a year later srs.

Anyway, trying to figure this stuff out gives me a headache, and who wants to think about sex with a headache?   :P

Quote
Anyway, trying to figure this stuff out gives me a headache, and who wants to think about sex with a headache

That's why one shouldn't try to "figure it out"...love and sex have no reason, need no reason. Just go with what feels right to you, and labels be damned! They're too confining, an unpleasant (unless you *like* that sort of thing ;) )

I just thought of this a second ago but I wonder when someone had zero attraction to men prior to transition and then changes that after HRT how much that has to with wanting to fit in or not defying religious conviction. Like if I'm someone is really religious and thinks being gay is against God, might they try to convince themselves they like men because of the cognitive dissonance in their mind. This s could apply equally to someone who hates being different. I guess we will never know. I just don't know how hormones can change sexuality.

I mean if that was the case then wouldn't testosterone therapy work on gay men. I'm sure it has been tried. I think it is all about acceptance with oneself. I also wonder how real this phenomena is outside this forum. A lot of people here tend to be from less populated areas and hence the need for more support and people from less populated areas tend to be more religious. This isn't meant to be a religions discussion at all. More of a did "HRT change it" or "was it repressed" thing. I mean I know for me I kept my sexuality in a lock box (along with social security lol i'm bringing back the year 2000) because I come from a religious family.

Quote from: Beth Andrea on July 28, 2013, 12:49:42 PM
That's why one shouldn't try to "figure it out"...love and sex have no reason, need no reason. Just go with what feels right to you, and labels be damned! They're too confining, an unpleasant (unless you *like* that sort of thing ;) )

My masochistic tendencies notwithstanding, I agree with you.  ;D

Quote from: monarch on July 28, 2013, 01:06:34 PM
My masochistic tendencies notwithstanding, I agree with you.  ;D

DO YOU WANT A SCHPANKING!?!  LOL...

Oh, that was something else that changed for me...before recognizing I was trans, I didn't like the idea of any BDSM...once I started allowing myself to be me, I discovered that I do, in fact, enjoy a bit of paddling...

And not the canoe kind, if.you.know.what.I.mean!

;)

I do think sometimes things are suppressed, and other times we either change our mind or whatever (exploring, etc)...but the people who say "Gay people can't change" are just like the straight people who insist they're NOT gay--because they seem to be too afraid of the possibility to even consider it.

Joanna that is an interesting argument that you posit.  Society generally exerts pressure on us to conform to its definition of social norms.  There are decisions that I would not have made if it were not for such pressures.  Of course, there are probably countless other ways in which I have been influenced and never noticed.

I have no idea whether societal expectations played a role in the mess that I call my sexual orientation, but I am aware of how society has influenced my perceptions of the dynamics of romance.  Now that I am female the dynamics have changed, and so have the expectations of me.  I never thought of that too closely, and now that you mention it I will.

My upbringing is mostly secular, so I do not feel comfortable discussing religion as I really do not have any experience with that aspect of our culture.

Quote from: Beth Andrea on July 28, 2013, 01:24:39 PM
DO YOU WANT A SCHPANKING!?!  LOL...

Oh, that was something else that changed for me...before recognizing I was trans, I didn't like the idea of any BDSM...once I started allowing myself to be me, I discovered that I do, in fact, enjoy a bit of paddling...

And not the canoe kind, if.you.know.what.I.mean!

;)

I see you are not fully committed to team hetero as of yet.   :P

As to being a masochist, I was not referring to BDSM per se.  However, my feelings regarding BDSM probably fall outside the scope of this thread.

Canoeing you say...row row row your boat.  No?  Well then, the canoe paddle has more uses than just propulsion.  Think outside the box.   >:-)

I have always considered myself straight, albeit I definitely had an attraction for women much stronger and more dominant than myself. Lately though, as I've come to accept my transsexualism and really embrace it, I've come to just think of myself as "open-minded."  ;)

That term applies to my masochistic sense as well. xD

Quote from: Makalii on July 28, 2013, 01:51:41 PM
That term applies to my masochistic sense as well. xD

Oh great, I am going to get a reputation for derailing threads around here.   :-\

Quote from: Makalii on July 28, 2013, 01:51:41 PM
I have always considered myself straight, albeit I definitely had an attraction for women much stronger and more dominant than myself. Lately though, as I've come to accept my transsexualism and really embrace it, I've come to just think of myself as "open-minded."  ;)

That term applies to my masochistic sense as well. xD

Speaking about BDSM, I have never been into SM and I dont see HRT changing that part :P. Masochism is like a total turn off for me. How convenient, but BDSM does not consist of spanking and getting spanked only :P.

P.S. Yesterday I saw a guy on the street and my first thought was "He is hot!" and the second thought "Ewww, whaaaat? Wtf did You just think???" :P

Quote from: Miss Bungle on July 28, 2013, 02:27:41 PM
I remember back when I started HRT, I thought to myself, "Hmmm, what IF I was with a guy in a romantic or sexual situation?". My stomach turned and I felt like I was literally going to be physically sick.

That pretty much sealed the deal for me.

I remember back when I started HRT, I thought to myself, "Hmmm, what IF I was with a guy in a romantic or sexual situation?". My stomach did flips and a giant wave of contentment washed over my body.

That sealed the deal for me...I can't wait to get SRS!

hhehehe hope you don't mind me stealing your words and applying them to myself. Remember: imitation is flattery!

Quote from: -Emily- on July 28, 2013, 02:21:25 PM
Speaking about BDSM, I have never been into SM and I dont see HRT changing that part :P. Masochism is like a total turn off for me. How convenient, but BDSM does not consist of spanking and getting spanked only :P.

P.S. Yesterday I saw a guy on the street and my first thought was "He is hot!" and the second thought "Ewww, whaaaat? Wtf did You just think???" :P

Oh yes, BDSM is far more than spanking.  The community has many diverse interests to be sure.  When I mentioned masochism, I mostly meant that a lot of the pain in my life is self inflected.  There was an element of BDSM there as well, but that is a long story, and for the most part not what I meant.

As to your last sentence, I laughed because I think I understand what you are trying to convey, but honestly, there is nothing wrong in finding men attractive.

Quote from: Miss Bungle on July 28, 2013, 02:27:41 PM
I remember back when I started HRT, I thought to myself, "Hmmm, what IF I was with a guy in a romantic or sexual situation?". My stomach turned and I felt like I was literally going to be physically sick.

That pretty much sealed the deal for me.

That's how I feel when I think about being with a woman romantically. >.<

QuoteOh, that was something else that changed for me...before recognizing I was trans, I didn't like the idea of any BDSM...once I started allowing myself to be me, I discovered that I do, in fact, enjoy a bit of paddling...

Sorry new to this site not sure how to get the quotes right

Oh great I might have my bondage fetish get even worse ???
Do you ever feel that you want to go up to the guy who first uttered the curse may you live in interesting times and kick him in the shin?

I haven't even begun to go to therapy yet but as for thinking about guys, the only way I can think of them sexually right now is if I am tied down and they take me as a woman. I wonder how this will turn out :P

As for porn I found a porn story which is the golden chalice of stories for my taste and any other porn story or pictures/movies just don't do it for me any more.

Quote from: White Rabbit on July 28, 2013, 08:06:36 PM
I haven't even begun to go to therapy yet but as for thinking about guys, the only way I can think of them sexually right now is if I am tied down and they take me as a woman. I wonder how this will turn out :P

Rough and pretty much one-sided ;).

I think for me, I have always liked men in my past, and I still like men now. My sexuality has never changed, and I am straighter than ever, lol.

There is nothing sexier than the scent of man-sweat, with a hairy-chested buff man shirtless and showing off his goods... mmmm YES~! <3

(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.busybeeblogger.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2010%2F02%2FGerard-Butler-shirtless-at-the-pool-in-Cabo-2.jpg&hash=36b9aa8c46e8492690053f1ff504e2f78b87aeff)

Like Gerard Butler... what a dreamboat!!  :icon_kiss: :icon_giggle:

I could never understand how anyone can be repulsed by oozing manhood! :P *bites lip sexfully*

I prefer smart, witty and mischievous types to hairy-chesty :)

(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ft1.gstatic.com%2Fimages%3Fq%3Dtbn%3AANd9GcTSCdUIvVfOsXi1wSPWTieeSTysEbz9mofmmveKFCivOpFKrFp3cg&hash=499515a19d4a27036836e377cd21ed92f6c97f23)

Quote from: -Emily- on July 29, 2013, 05:19:29 AM
I prefer smart, witty and mischievous types to hairy-chesty :)

(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ft1.gstatic.com%2Fimages%3Fq%3Dtbn%3AANd9GcTSCdUIvVfOsXi1wSPWTieeSTysEbz9mofmmveKFCivOpFKrFp3cg&hash=499515a19d4a27036836e377cd21ed92f6c97f23)

I've been powering through House recently, so hell yes to this!

I started my transition thinking that I was a straight woman.. I'd spent a large part of my life as a gay guy, it seemed logical to me that I preferred guys. I was wrong. I'm a lesbian, always have been. I can be physically attracted to a guy, but have no interest in taking it any further. I've also never loved a man - I have loved women.

I don't think HRT was the cause.. I think it was more self discovery.. I fell for a woman (who rejected me) and that caused some introspection.. Which led to the realisation that I'd never loved a man and just couldn't see it happening..

I always enjoy this topic when it gets discussed, and a lot of the comments seem to see changes in sexuality as acknowledging attraction that was previously repressed. Relieved repression may be an accurate way of describing what happens to those who, like me, seem suddenly to find ourselves attracted to men after months on hrt. But I also wonder whether this explanation denies potential connections between prolonged administration of cross-sex hormones and attraction. We as transsexuals are essentially going through a new puberty. Admittedly I haven't read up on the subject, but I imagine that many cisgender girls have no measurable sexual attraction to boys before puberty. Then, the hormones are raised for a prolonged period of time and sexuality becomes, well, something. Solidified? Awakened? galvanized? I'm hesitant to name it. And this sexuality that gets realized (I like that word) at puberty need not be hetero, of course. We can then perhaps see why giving testosterone to a gay man won't make him a straight one. He never was a straight man and why giving him estrogen over a long period of time might or might not make him a lesbian.

Again, maybe I was in denial about my attractions to men, but I just can't get access to it in all my memories of youth and adulthood. 

Jane, I suspect that there is no one size fits all answer to the question of how transition affects sexuality.  The fact is we still no very little about how these things work, so the whole process is truly a mystery.  There are people who are not trans whose sexuality seems to fluctuate in one direction or the other.  These people can be just as surprised by a change in their sexuality as a trans person on hormones, who experiences a similar shift in their attraction.  Is the answer hormones, society, a growing self awareness, finding the right person, or something else?  I would point out that none of these things happen in a vacuum, but instead they all interact with each other and influence our lives.

Quote from: monarch on July 29, 2013, 09:01:29 AM
Jane, I suspect that there is no one size fits all answer to the question of how transition affects sexuality.  The fact is we still no very little about how these things work, so the whole process is truly a mystery.  There are people who are not trans whose sexuality seems to fluctuate in one direction or the other.  These people can be just as surprised by a change in their sexuality as a trans person on hormones, who experiences a similar shift in their attraction.  Is the answer hormones, society, a growing self awareness, finding the right person, or something else?  I would point out that none of these things happen in a vacuum, but instead they all interact with each other and influence our lives.

I've also come to love my bed posts... :-*

How the mind interprets the body's sensations  is also a factor...as a guy, a bed post wasn't anything special...

Ack!  *know

The ways in which spell check fails me.

Beth, bed posts, eh?  Please exposit, and spare no detail.  Nevermind, perhaps details are not board appropriate.  Now every time I see a bed post I will think of you.  Well in the abstract at least, I am clearly lacking some imagination here.  :P

Quote from: monarch on July 29, 2013, 09:01:29 AM
Jane, I suspect that there is no one size fits all answer to the question of how transition affects sexuality.  The fact is we still no very little about how these things work, so the whole process is truly a mystery.  There are people who are not trans whose sexuality seems to fluctuate in one direction or the other.  These people can be just as surprised by a change in their sexuality as a trans person on hormones, who experiences a similar shift in their attraction.  Is the answer hormones, society, a growing self awareness, finding the right person, or something else?  I would point out that none of these things happen in a vacuum, but instead they all interact with each other and influence our lives.

I just wanted to point out that I would totally have sex in a vacuum, but I'm sure it would suck. ;) I agree that sexuality is fluid, at least to a relative degree, and is constantly in the process of or subject to changing. And even if the direction or object of my attraction had not changed on hormones, I would still acknowledge that the way I experience sexuality has changed considerably, namely its location, but also its quality and duration. To be a sexual being as a woman feels much different from how it felt when I had a more typical male hormonal/social makeup. Enjoyed your response.

Jane

Quote from: monarch on July 29, 2013, 11:56:44 AM
Ack!  *know

The ways in which spell check fails me.

Beth, bed posts, eh?  Please exposit, and spare no detail.  Nevermind, perhaps details are not board appropriate.  Now every time I see a bed post I will think of you.  Well in the abstract at least, I am clearly lacking some imagination here.  :P

Bend over a little, and lean backwards onto the big round knob on top of the waist - high bedpost...almost guarantee you'll have found a new "friend."

;)

Quote from: Beth Andrea on July 29, 2013, 12:46:04 PM
Bend over a little, and lean backwards onto the big round knob on top of the waist - high bedpost...almost guarantee you'll have found a new "friend."

;)

O.o

*doesn't even want to think about it*
*Also not touching your bedposts. Ever.*

Quote from: ZoeM on July 29, 2013, 12:50:06 PM
O.o

*doesn't even want to think about it*
*Also not touching your bedposts. Ever.*

To be honest a bedpost just sounds flat out painful!

Quote from: Dreams2014 on July 29, 2013, 12:51:53 PM
To be honest a bedpost just sounds flat out painful!

Gawd...does everything have to involve penetration?

How about just some rubbing and pressing?

::)

I ain't sayin' no mo'... ;)

I'm guessing slivers are an occupational hazard.   :o

Quote from: Jane's Sweet Refrain on July 29, 2013, 12:05:47 PM
I just wanted to point out that I would totally have sex in a vacuum, but I'm sure it would suck. ;) I agree that sexuality is fluid, at least to a relative degree, and is constantly in the process of or subject to changing. And even if the direction or object of my attraction had not changed on hormones, I would still acknowledge that the way I experience sexuality has changed considerably, namely its location, but also its quality and duration. To be a sexual being as a woman feels much different from how it felt when I had a more typical male hormonal/social makeup. Enjoyed your response.

Jane

Just remember, in a vacuum, no one can hear you scream, or wait is that space?  Yes, I too experienced a change in how my body reacted sexually.  The feeling is very different from the male experience both biologically and socially.  For me at least, I prefer the way people interact with me romantically as a woman than as a man.  I definitely preferred how my body reacted sexually during my transition.  The weird thing these days is my complete lack of sexual interest.  I fluctuate between disappointment, indifference, and a sense of liberation.  I am unsure what to attribute for the loss of my sex drive, and I am reluctant to say it's the hormones because I just do not know.

Quote from: monarch on July 29, 2013, 01:26:57 PM
The weird thing these days is my complete lack of sexual interest. 

Well I don't have a lot of libido, but my sexual interest is strong. I.e. don't feel like I need to get myself "off" but really do want to share sexual experiences with another human being.

My problem is that I have no idea what in the world to DO with my pre-op machinery.

HRT has significantly lowered my libido. One potential "side-effect" I was aware of is that it can change the target of one's sexual interest, but I have to admit that it actually strengthened my original orientation; quite a bit too. Standing next to a man in the subway and catching a whiff of that somewhat musky masculine smell makes my stomach do somersaults, albeit not in a good way... Women all the way for me.

Quote from: suzifrommd on July 29, 2013, 03:04:41 PM
Well I don't have a lot of libido, but my sexual interest is strong. I.e. don't feel like I need to get myself "off" but really do want to share sexual experiences with another human being.

My problem is that I have no idea what in the world to DO with my pre-op machinery.

I ignore it, as much as possible.

Think in terms of "errogenous zones" rather than "errogenous parts."

Quote from: Theo on July 29, 2013, 03:12:29 PM
HRT has significantly lowered my libido. One potential "side-effect" I was aware of is that it can change the target of one's sexual interest, but I have to admit that it actually strengthened my original orientation; quite a bit too. Standing next to a man in the subway and catching a whiff of that somewhat musky masculine smell makes my stomach do somersaults, albeit not in a good way... Women all the way for me.

Interesting. So, you mean you're even more attracted to women than before?

Quote from: -Emily- on July 29, 2013, 05:19:29 AM
I prefer smart, witty and mischievous types to hairy-chesty :)

(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ft1.gstatic.com%2Fimages%3Fq%3Dtbn%3AANd9GcTSCdUIvVfOsXi1wSPWTieeSTysEbz9mofmmveKFCivOpFKrFp3cg&hash=499515a19d4a27036836e377cd21ed92f6c97f23)

Yeah, of course personality has a lot to do with attraction... but there's nothing more natural than those beastial tendencies within, lol.

BUT, at least we can share our interest in men together! STRAIGHT PRIDE!!  :icon_clap:

(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.goodasyou.org%2Fgood_as_you%2Fimages%2F200807071015.jpg&hash=04b395e6421fdcedc97b3683a3530cb8e7ae767b)

Quote from: Fitter Admin on July 29, 2013, 03:58:25 PM
Interesting. So, you mean you're even more attracted to women than before?

I actually am, yes. I guess there's also the mental aspect of HRT that makes me feel closer too, as if I can finally be part of the world I have been wanting to belong to. I can quasi add a "proper mental attraction" on top of the physical aspect now.

I feel as if my sexuality is starting to be unlocked and changing slightly. I'm noticing men so much more and they're just becoming so much more attractive. And to be honest I can't help but drool at my friend who's in the marines....zomg he's hot!

My sexual orientation never actually changed, however, I did try to have relations with women prior to my transition but I never liked it very much. Being with a woman felt backwards and unfair. I wanted relations with men with me as the woman. Only problem was  at the time I wasn't a woman and I didn't yet feel the physical attraction to men. I knew I liked them, wanted a boyfriend/husband etc. but they had yet to make me weak at the knees.

It wasn't until a few months into hrt I first felt it. I was helping a friend with something when I noticed his smell, and he smelled so f'ing good! From then on I felt it.

I'm not repulsed by the thought of sex with a woman. It just doesn't turn me on. At all. I love hunks with trunks :)

Quote from: Heather on July 28, 2013, 09:57:25 AM
If you really are into men hrt will bring that out. Now you may just be exploring your sexuality right now? And might not be into men at all. Now when you start getting crushes on men and will go see a movie you don't particularly care to see but think the guy playing superman is hot! Then you might really be into men. But really you should probably look deeper into these feelings you may find out it was just a fantasy.  :)

Yeah, but didn't somebody say live your dreams? I'll see where it lives.

Hey, I didn't never think of that I might be transgender. I was *sure* I was a real man.

Nothing is for sure. I'll see where it leads to. But I'll take it step after step.

I just foresee that after SRS I might be driven to test my new body parts. And while this might be possible with a girl, a boy might feel different. And it might also be head blasting to try existing body parts with a boy as well. That said, I'm quite sure that I'm not attracted to men since I never had any feelings until now.

But since nothing is for sure...

You know Beth, something wierd has happened as I've transitioned.  I don't know if it's a slow change in orientation or what, and it hasn't been anything that's really bothered me either. 

At the casino the other night an elderly man (late 60's) sat at the slot machine next to me and after a few minutes he began a very pleasant conversation.  No one can miss the fact that I'm trans, but he treated me like the woman I am, and made me feel good.  I wasn't exactly attracted to him, but it was so nice to have a man treat me that way, and it had never happened before.  Odd?

Kathy

Quote from: MariaMx on July 30, 2013, 06:46:14 AM
My sexual orientation never actually changed, however, I did try to have relations with women prior to my transition but I never liked it very much. Being with a woman felt backwards and unfair. I wanted relations with men with me as the woman. Only problem was  at the time I wasn't a woman and I didn't yet feel the physical attraction to men. I knew I liked them, wanted a boyfriend/husband etc. but they had yet to make me weak at the knees.

It wasn't until a few months into hrt I first felt it. I was helping a friend with something when I noticed his smell, and he smelled so f'ing good! From then on I felt it.

I'm not repulsed by the thought of sex with a woman. It just doesn't turn me on. At all. I love hunks with trunks :)

Maria you just pretty much summed up exactly how's it's been for me. In the past being with a woman just felt off. And I didn't want to be with a man as a man. I was attracted to men before hrt but now I'm really attracted to men. I almost feel as though before hrt I didn't really have a sexuality. But now I feel as though things are now the way they were supposed to be. I'm totally into men especially the ones that act like adults.  ;) Yeah the thought of being with a woman doesn't repulse me and I can be attracted to them in a emotional sense. But the chances of me being with a woman are not very high.  :)

Quote from: PiaBianca on July 30, 2013, 08:00:41 AM
Yeah, but didn't somebody say live your dreams? I'll see where it lives.

Hey, I didn't never think of that I might be transgender. I was *sure* I was a real man.

Nothing is for sure. I'll see where it leads to. But I'll take it step after step.

I just foresee that after SRS I might be driven to test my new body parts. And while this might be possible with a girl, a boy might feel different. And it might also be head blasting to try existing body parts with a boy as well. That said, I'm quite sure that I'm not attracted to men since I never had any feelings until now.

But since nothing is for sure...

Everybody's different I knew I was trans from a early age. But the first time I even realized I was into men I was 14. I really did try to convince myself I was totally into women. But I wasn't and really I was more into guys at that point than I realized. Trust me if your into men you'll know it sooner or later no matter how much your mind try's to repress it. The first time I ever admitted to myself I liked men was after being with a woman for the first time. It totally felt off for me maybe it was just me not being comfortable put into a male role? But it felt totally wrong.
But I don't think hrt will change your sexuality unless you already had those feelings to begin with. One of the first things I realized about hrt was it didn't give me new feelings it only expanded my understanding of my own feelings sure I knew I was into men before hrt. And being on hrt has confirmed that. But really if your totally into women now more than likely you will be afterwards.
Being attracted to men is a lot different than liking the fantasy of you being a woman sleeping with a man. If you find yourself falling in love with a man just because you like who he is. You might be into men? If you've spent the night crying because you've fallen in love with a man and you know there is know way you could ever be with him. You might be into men.
But really explore your feelings if your into men you'll know it no matter how much you try to deny it. Just try not to get wrapped up in your own sexuality. Just be with who you want to be with it's really not that big of a deal to be honest.  ;)

Quote from: suzifrommd on July 29, 2013, 03:04:41 PM
I.e. don't feel like I need to get myself "off" but really do want to share sexual experiences with another human being.

My problem is that I have no idea what in the world to DO with my pre-op machinery.

Yeah, the first part of what you wrote, I totally get.  I am not sure about sexual experiences with another person.

Actually, after srs is when I became asexual, but that is me, and everyone is different.  Although asexual probably is not the right label for me, it is close enough.

Quote from: Heather on July 30, 2013, 08:53:47 AM
But I don't think hrt will change your sexuality unless you already had those feelings to begin with.

I don't know. I suppressed many things regarding my personality. I denied almost any feelings. I also denied finding any man attractive even if I did. That said, I never had any fantasies of sex with man until I dabbed into BDSM.

The question isn't if I'm into men or women; I know that I'm into women. What's unknown is if I'm into men, too. Right now I'd say I'm bi-curious.

Quote from: PiaBianca on July 30, 2013, 10:35:31 AM
The question isn't if I'm into men or women; I know that I'm into women. What's unknown is if I'm into men, too. Right now I'd say I'm bi-curious.

What you wrote totally resonates with me.  Honestly, I doubt that I will ever explore my bi curiosity, which has been present most of my life.  My attraction to women has never been in doubt for me.

My first time that I realized I might like guys was in the 7th grade, watching this really cute guy kissing a pretty girl I'd seen at school and literally having to force myself to breathe from just wishing it was me being kissed. There were lots of cute guys in jr. high and high school I thought were really cute, but I didn't explore my feminine side sexually till my freshman year. My brother was four years older than me and most of his friends were ->-bleeped-<-s, but one of his, two, actually, made me weak at the knees every time I'd get around them. I'd turn into a 14 year old girl, having to catch my breath I wanted them sooo bad (much). I've been more into guys sexually for most of my life, but haven't wanted a woman sexually in at least fifteen years. Inevitably, I think we're all going to enjoy a guy opening a door for us and sweet things like that that tell us we're appreciated as women. Strangely, I've been having quite a few guys flirting with me lately, and I think it's cute and fun, but I've already got a guy I'm in love with. Unfortunately, he works too much, I don't see him enough and I'm getting very tired of it. But I'm not tired of him when I see him, and that's becoming unfortunate, because I'm not going to go out on him. Lookswise, though, my perfect guys are Daniel Craig, the present James Bond (and the best, I think) who was also in "Munich", a Spielberg film starring Eric Bana, a really excellent, insanely good looking actor also in "Black Hawk Down", and "Troy." Then there is a guy on a show on AMC called "Hell On Wheels" named Anson Mount, who's naked to the waist quite often and he's simply gorgeous and I'm not normally into beards at all. As for rockers, I think Michael Hutchence, the lead singer for INXS who died in 1997, was one of the sexiest men I've ever seen. I'd be under any of them in a second, and well, my guy would have to understand! No, I couldn't do it, could I?

I wrongly assumed men who liked trans women were weirdos who couldn't get a "proper" girlfriend.I was 42 before i had a real boyfriend,he made me realise he was attracted to me because I was now a woman.I'd had flings with guys when I was one but never a proper relationship

Since I started HRT, I've realized I don't like men, as in personally, I don't even want to be around them socially or even at work.  On the other had, boinking one sounds fun.  This is a 180 shift on both parts.  Something is seriously wrong in this brain of mine with respect to men.   

Quote from: Dreams2014 on July 26, 2013, 03:50:11 PM
Tbh it's been in these recent days that I've noticed if I view...err...adult videos I find myself no longer desiring the woman. I find myself wanting to be in the woman's position. That kind of realization is hilarious.

See, this is confusing to me. I've always been sure I only like girls (I was open to the possibility that I might be bi when I was younger but it felt all wrong and I became even more certain of my sexuality. Of course sex with women has always been kinda awkward too, but that's a genital issue -- they still arouse me.) But when I've watched porn I've always pictured myself in the woman's place. I always assumed that was more about wanting to be female than wanting to have sex with men. But now I'm wondering if when I start HRT I'll start wanting to, umm... be in that position. ;)

It's a little worrisome for me because I'm a little distrustful of men, and frankly a lot of them kinda scare me. I really don't want to find myself attracted to them.

I guess I won't know until I know.

Quote from: Beth Andrea on July 26, 2013, 03:44:26 PM
Sir Prizes.

LOL :D

Quote from: JillSter on July 30, 2013, 10:19:15 PM


It's a little worrisome for me because I'm a little distrustful of men, and frankly a lot of them kinda scare me. I really don't want to find myself attracted to them.

I guess I won't know until I know.

I was very distrustful of men, hated them in fact...but as I've transitioned, I've realized that many men (if not most) are actually kinda nice, in a non-hurtful non-violent way. If they aren't up on their hygiene, they're intolerable...but if we have high standards and stay away from the knuckle-draggers and "tough guys" gangsta wannabes, there are some diamonds out there.

I no longer despise men in general...now most of them are "just there", and that opens the door to liking them...and it's pretty quick from liking them, to wanting to be loved (in all its wondrous ways) by them.

And that is separate from wanting to boink them in a night of passion... ;)

I can't stand hairy backed, smelly, or violent men, either, but being in the arms of a man I really care about makes me feel sooo feminine and needed. And protected. And aroused, lol! I was once really attracted to women, but I lost that over the years and never did with certain kinds of guys. I hope I'm not giving TMI.

Quote from: Jillian on July 30, 2013, 10:19:15 PM
See, this is confusing to me. I've always been sure I only like girls

Quote from: Jillian on July 30, 2013, 10:19:15 PM
But when I've watched porn I've always pictured myself in the woman's place. I always assumed that was more about wanting to be female than wanting to have sex with men. But now I'm wondering if when I start HRT I'll start wanting to, umm... be in that position. ;)

That's exactly how I feel watching porn most of the time. Lately it also went to being jealous when I see pictures of naked girls. Right now I have one special picture in mind; a girl with almost perfect breasts and a nice and slim girly body. But instead of being aroused when I think of the picture I'm just wishing I was her.

That said, I'm still attracted to girls.

I know the feeling. Every time a see a cute girl my first impulse is jealousy. It really interferes with those days when I'm trying to embrace my man-ness.  ;D

Quote from: Jillian on July 30, 2013, 10:19:15 PM


It's a little worrisome for me because I'm a little distrustful of men, and frankly a lot of them kinda scare me. I really don't want to find myself attracted to them.

I guess I won't know until I know.

LOL :D

Yes they are men you should be distrustful of. But there are some women I would say the very same thing about. Really it comes down to the person and how good are you at telling the good from the bad. The thing with men is a lot of them like to pretend their all big and bad but most of them can be very sweet and caring once they drop that front.  ;)

Quote from: Heather on July 31, 2013, 12:57:49 AM
but most of them can be very sweet and caring once they drop that front.  ;)

And some of them are even more like you than you might think... *cough*trans*cough*

Quote from: PiaBianca on July 31, 2013, 01:37:25 AM
And some of them are even more like you than you might think... *cough*trans*cough*

A man can be sweet and caring without being trans or gay that's just a stereotype.  ;)

Quote from: Heather on July 31, 2013, 01:43:37 AM
A man can be sweet and caring without being trans or gay that's just a stereotype.  ;)

I didn't say that. But I assume that it's the way 'round. A trans women pretending to be a man is sweet and caring most of the time if not always. And since there might be more man like me which didn't allow themselves to realize their state...

Quote from: PiaBianca on July 31, 2013, 01:46:34 AM
I didn't say that. But I assume that it's the way 'round. A trans women pretending to be a man is sweet and caring most of the time if not always. And since there might be more man like me which didn't allow themselves to realize their state...

I actually built my male persona to be the opposite of sweet and caring. I didn't want anybody to see the real me.  :( 

Quote from: Heather on July 31, 2013, 01:53:21 AM
I actually built my male persona to be the opposite of sweet and caring. I didn't want anybody to see the real me.  :(

I did the same thing when I was younger. But I wasn't very good at it. I was never hard and I knew it. But everyone was convinced because I looked tough.

Quote from: Jillian on July 31, 2013, 02:48:49 AM
I did the same thing when I was younger. But I wasn't very good at it. I was never hard and I knew it. But everyone was convinced because I looked tough.

Exactly! If we pretend good enough then it becomes convincing. I found it very amusing when I learned out that in my twenties I had a reputation of a guy not to be messed with ...  It really helped in terms of protection :)
Yet, it went in a package with me being a bit ,,soft guy" – kind of peacemaker who is on good terms with everyone. Very kind hearted guy and would never refuse to help out – just dont push him and behave yourself, because then he will kick your butt.
Btw, I never had to kick any butts to prove I was able to :P. It was good, because although I was able to, yet I always hated hurting other people physically.

Quote from: Heather on July 31, 2013, 01:53:21 AM
I actually built my male persona to be the opposite of sweet and caring. I didn't want anybody to see the real me.  :(

Me to I had a  reputation as a bad ass not to get on the wrong side of

Quote from: -Emily- on July 31, 2013, 03:51:31 AM
yet I always hated hurting other people physically.

Me too. I hated fighting. People would crowd around like animals salivating over the kill, and I'd get physically sick. I just can't do the violence thing. It's just not in me.

Quote from: Jillian on July 31, 2013, 04:03:37 AM
Me too. I hated fighting. People would crowd around like animals salivating over the kill, and I'd get physically sick. I just can't do the violence thing. It's just not in me.

I disliked fighting though I was pretty good at it,fortunately I lacked the mean streak as I was a big kid

^^^^^

what's funny to me, is (as a girl right now) whenever my friends and i get rough.  they'll keep me out of the rowdiness, with the whole, i would never hit a girl thing. it bugs the crap out me, i see em having fun being stupid guys and i want in on that, regardless if it's smart to or if ill get hurt.

i only have one friend that treats me like a guy. and i like him to. we greet eachother like a couple of a$$holes and that's just our humor. i hit him ont he back, he hits back and we laugh it off. it's great i love it and wsh i had more friends like him.

not saying i like abuse or anything wierd like that but i like being on the same playing field ya know? none of that, because you're a girl bs..

Quote from: BeefxCake on July 31, 2013, 04:44:10 AM
we greet eachother like a couple of a$$holes and that's just our humor. i hit him ont he back, he hits back and we laugh it off.

Ah, yeah, that guy bs :P
No offence meant ;)

Quote from: big kim on July 31, 2013, 03:56:42 AM
Me to I had a  reputation as a bad ass not to get on the wrong side of

Now I would in no way ever define my act as a bad a**. Since I was big and athletic I kind of modeled myself after someone who was athletic. As crazy as it may sound modeled most of my attitude after John Elway One of the things that always struck me about him was not only did he go out there and win. He would also carry himself like he just went out there and won. Even when he lost to so in other words he came off as cocky!
So when I realized I needed to develop a male act I patterned him to be cocky and brash and someone who was kind of arrogant. And you know what's crazy it kind of worked. I actually wish I had figured that out when I was younger maybe I wouldn't have been picked on so much in school.

Funny, I have yet to lose my masculine persona, and I started transition years ago.

Quote from: monarch on July 31, 2013, 10:55:42 AM
Funny, I have yet to lose my masculine persona, and I started transition years ago.

I kinda lost him some time back. I reported him missing but last weekend I had him declared deceased.  ;) Time to move on.  :)

Quote from: monarch on July 31, 2013, 10:55:42 AM
Funny, I have yet to lose my masculine persona, and I started transition years ago.

I can still pose and talk like a man...or at least, what passed as manly pre-transition. It always leaves me shaking and worried that I might've hurt someone if things escalated...I have a lot of unresolved (and undiscovered) anger somewhere inside me.

:(

Quote from: Heather on July 31, 2013, 10:59:14 AM
I kinda lost him some time back. I reported him missing but last weekend I had him declared deceased.  ;) Time to move on.  :)

lol

Quote from: Beth Andrea on July 31, 2013, 11:00:33 AM
I can still pose and talk like a man...or at least, what passed as manly pre-transition. It always leaves me shaking and worried that I might've hurt someone if things escalated...I have a lot of unresolved (and undiscovered) anger somewhere inside me.

:(

I would not have suspected this at all.  You always strike me as funny and warm on this site, and I am kinda fond of you.  Anyway, I really hope you can work through these issues.

Thanks Monarch...that's very sweet of you.

*hugs*

Quote from: JulieR on July 31, 2013, 11:24:28 AM
Odd but I have the opposite problem Beth, I worry about doing damage in girl mode, although not physical damage per se.  My male presentation has always been a sort of big huggy bear that no one wants to mess with.  Getting in touch with my real self and starting Estrogen has brought me to some sudden and quite unusual emotional outbursts.  A few days ago, my downstairs neighbor came up to complain about my cat, but she started out the "conversation" by swearing at me.  My old male side would have shrugged it off but the new me took offense and I lit into her with a verbal barrage.  She is attempting to get a protection order (she's one of "those" ex-wives) but she's not having much luck because the incident happened on my doorstep with her as the aggressor.

Yeah, I have noticed that I stand up more for myself since hrt, but sometimes I can be real snarky with people.  There are times when I really need to dial that back.  Before hrt, I could be upset at a situation and no one would be the wiser.

I would say that my sexuality had to be lit first.  I think my subconscious always knew that I wanted a boyfriend/husband but being male didn't allow me to accept it whatsoever.  I completely buried it on the bottom.  I didn't want to face it.  But then I ended up letting one guy in and it changed my life forever.  For the better.  Being with a guy and falling in love with my prince became a big part of my identity.  I started taking notice of them on a physical level, which I never did with girls, not once.  I would get a little weak in the knees around the tall, dark, handsome men.  And I was attracted to the taller ones who had broad shoulders and pretty eyes and pretty smiles. :-)

Something about men just clicked with me.  It wasn't any one specific thing.  It was all the things.  All the little things, too. Holding a man's hand, being held by one, looking into one's eyes.  Not to mention how adorable they are when they smile and laugh.  When I have my hand in my boyfriends I am at home.  I love him <3  I love that he's so good at cuddling, and that I want to talk to him and share everything with him!  I love just to have my head on his shoulders and to smell him near me when we relax and watch TV or movies or just anything. 

Oh gosh, I'm gonna dissolve into tears of happiness! 

I see sexuality as fluid, definitely, but I think you can get to the place where you know what you want.  I'm grateful I wasn't so closed-minded in this little hillbilly town that I didn't take the risk to find out!

Quote from: BrendaBunnie on August 06, 2013, 01:50:45 AM
I would say that my sexuality had to be lit first.  I think my subconscious always knew that I wanted a boyfriend/husband but being male didn't allow me to accept it whatsoever.  I completely buried it on the bottom.  I didn't want to face it.  But then I ended up letting one guy in and it changed my life forever.  For the better.  Being with a guy and falling in love with my prince became a big part of my identity.  I started taking notice of them on a physical level, which I never did with girls, not once.  I would get a little weak in the knees around the tall, dark, handsome men.  And I was attracted to the taller ones who had broad shoulders and pretty eyes and pretty smiles. :-)

Something about men just clicked with me.  It wasn't any one specific thing.  It was all the things.  All the little things, too. Holding a man's hand, being held by one, looking into one's eyes.  Not to mention how adorable they are when they smile and laugh.  When I have my hand in my boyfriends I am at home.  I love him <3  I love that he's so good at cuddling, and that I want to talk to him and share everything with him!  I love just to have my head on his shoulders and to smell him near me when we relax and watch TV or movies or just anything. 

Oh gosh, I'm gonna dissolve into tears of happiness! 

I see sexuality as fluid, definitely, but I think you can get to the place where you know what you want.  I'm grateful I wasn't so closed-minded in this little hillbilly town that I didn't take the risk to find out!

Oh yes!  :icon_yes:

With women, I can tell they are attractive, but I have no attraction to them. I feel nothing. ATM I'm seeing a guy and just thinking about him I feel electric jolts shoot up from my loins and a sucking feeling in my gut. I love it ^_^

Quote from: MariaMx on August 06, 2013, 06:07:47 AM
Oh yes!  :icon_yes:

With women, I can tell they are attractive, but I have no attraction to them. I feel nothing. ATM I'm seeing a guy and just thinking about him I feel electric jolts shoot up from my loins and a sucking feeling in my gut. I love it ^_^

Congrats!  I get the same electric feeling!!  Feels great!  I was wearing a cute new summer dress the other day and we took a walk and I was nervous about being out while dressed but he held my hand the whole time!  At one point he swept me up and off my feet to hold me.  It was so romantic!  I keep having dreams about walking down the aisle in a beautiful wedding dress and getting married to him.  It's probably too soon to be thinking about that but I can't help it. 

Quote from: Joanna Dark on July 26, 2013, 03:45:58 PM
I never understood how orientation changes but I think it has more to do with inner accpetance of you are then hormones actually changing who you are attracted to. I feel like it lets the real you come out and shine. I have always liked men and women. But I like all types of men and the only type of women I will date is a masculine or butchy woman. That hasn't changed. What has changed is I am more open about liking men. But that sounds hawt Beth!

I feel this is what has happened to me . The estrogen pushed the door open farther.

Right now I have no sex drive what so ever and am enjoying being single. Having said that I've always been attracted to women. And I can honestly say I have never, nor am I now repressing anything. However, I haven't been on hormones long enough to predict how things will eventually turn out. But I will say this, until I have the right parts down below (SRS) having sex with anybody is out of the question. I've always been attracted to taller thin women. However I will never feel comfortable having sex until I'm as physically whole like I am mentally, female. ;) So until then (SRS) I'm very comfortable abstaining from sex. Truthfully, I never enjoyed it much anyway, lol! :D

It happened to me too Beth. That tooka bit of mental working through to understand and accept. Just go with the flow, there is just no use in fighting it. :)

its odd for me, it may have only been 2 months however i feel i am pushed further from men and closer to women.  The muskyness of most if not all men turns me off. yet the smell of a woman, and a turned on woman..... OHHHHHHHH man. I am so glad I have a female fiancee :D

Liberation

Quote from: Keaira Raine on January 19, 2014, 04:30:45 AM
It happened to me too Beth. That tooka bit of mental working through to understand and accept. Just go with the flow, there is just no use in fighting it. :)

Muahaha.  >:-) >:-) Well, I wasn't the first guy. But that's OK. I am the best. :P

Quote from: Sheala on January 19, 2014, 04:44:09 AM
its odd for me, it may have only been 2 months however i feel i am pushed further from men and closer to women.  The muskyness of most if not all men turns me off. yet the smell of a woman, and a turned on woman..... OHHHHHHHH man. I am so glad I have a female fiancee :D

thats how I feel too...

I haven't started E yet and since seperating from my xwife  My sex drive has gone to zero but yet i do like the look of nice boobs, i have always thaught that some men are good looking but havn't been attracted to them sexually so i'm not so sure what E will do for me, i am hoping to still be attracted to women there's just something about them that gives me a great feeling not just sex but the emotional part to that most men just dont understand.

Emily.T xx

It's only now that I accept that my attraction to girls when I was younger was because I fantasized about being one of them, and would try to imagine what it must be like to be a girl. As a teenager I kept my feelings to myself and just thought that all guys secretly felt the same way, although they claimed otherwise.

Early in transition, I accepted I would probably be a lesbian and even tried that for a while. It was some years later that I realised why when I was younger I was attracted to sexy film stars like Clint Eastwood, David "The Fugitive" Janssen and, ironically, Rock Hudson.

I am now happily married to a wonderful man and we have been together for 17 years. I still often look at a woman and wish I could be as attractive as she is, but don't most women!

I believe HRT has just allowed me to be what I was all along. I may be wrong, of course.

Caroline

Quote from: Sheala on January 19, 2014, 04:44:09 AM
its odd for me, it may have only been 2 months however i feel i am pushed further from men and closer to women.  The muskyness of most if not all men turns me off. yet the smell of a woman, and a turned on woman..... OHHHHHHHH man.

Same here. Man smell is repulsive to me right now. I tend to not to want to make any predictions because I'm still new to hrt. But I have never been attracted to men, only women. ;) However right now I have no sex drive and until I have the right parts down below I won't be having sex. I've already gone without it for over 20 years, what's a few more?, lol! :D

Ok I am ...straight I think???  or was.. and after one month on HRT I am not holding my wife the same way and I admit I have noticed how handsome some men are.. ok me being one that is pretty damn sexy BTW... and was a stud..
Funny thing going through a drive through the other day the chick was cute and all I could ask her was what color is your nail polish.. I told her It was awesome.. my wife gave me a funny look....
BTW it was Apple Mint.. I want some.
Carrie

Quote from: Caroline2000 on January 19, 2014, 07:41:28 AM
It's only now that I accept that my attraction to girls when I was younger was because I fantasized about being one of them, and would try to imagine what it must be like to be a girl. As a teenager I kept my feelings to myself and just thought that all guys secretly felt the same way, although they claimed otherwise.

Early in transition, I accepted I would probably be a lesbian and even tried that for a while. It was some years later that I realised why when I was younger I was attracted to sexy film stars like Clint Eastwood, David "The Fugitive" Janssen and, ironically, Rock Hudson.

I am now happily married to a wonderful man and we have been together for 17 years. I still often look at a woman and wish I could be as attractive as she is, but don't most women!

I believe HRT has just allowed me to be what I was all along. I may be wrong, of course.

Caroline

well, I've always been bi , but the HRT seems to encourage my attraction to men a lot. I think for me the estrogen is lowering any inhibitions about men

I'm afraid that when I take HRT, I'll stop being attracted to men :(

Quote from: Chic on January 19, 2014, 02:10:53 PM
I'm afraid that when I take HRT, I'll stop being attracted to men :(

why?

Quote from: stephaniec on January 19, 2014, 02:12:48 PM
why?

I'm not sure, I just feel that way. I know I'm attracted to men now, but the hormones might make that different and I don't want that.

Quote from: Chic on January 19, 2014, 02:17:01 PM
I'm not sure, I just feel that way. I know I'm attracted to men now, but the hormones might make that different and I don't want that.

why you wouldnt want it?

anyway even if it changes somehow it will happen subconsiously and you wont even mind...
as when you like a food you used to hate,,,you dont mind , in fact you are glad cause you ve been missing things kinda...

for me with hrt I feel more attraction to girls,,,I think mainly cause I ve grown distant and different from other guys , I dont feel that much need to be with one...I wouldnt mind though