Susan's Place Transgender Resources

It's really crazy how things escalate.

I only recently came out to myself. When I did, I thought to myself that I wouldn't let it become a big deal, that I'd keep it locked safe in my head until I can deal with it. Now I'm finding myself thinking about all sorts of things. It's like coming out to myself lead to one giant epiphany.

But anyway to the point at hand, I find myself looking at my arm hair and finding it disgusting to look at, making me annoyed at my male physique. I know the solution is "Well, shave it off". But I live with my parents. They already deal with my OCD and health anxiety, and I don't really plan on making a transition until I've put a few hundred miles between us.

If anything I just find these experiences to be quite curious. I've gone from being ignorant about what my feelings meant, to accepting they exist, to now feeling increasingly intense dysphoria and resentments about my body.

I wonder what's next? I said I'd never cross dress, however give me an apartment of my own and absolute privacy, I think I probably would.

[ wicked witch voice]These things take time...they must be done deh-licately....[ /voice]

I remember being creeped out by body hair, too. The wife was ok with waxing the legs and chest, because no one saw that...but after I did my arms, she was worried that people would notice.

They didn't. ;)

Good luck with your transition!

It's hard to put the water back in the reservoir once the dam has broken. All you can really do is ride the flow and hope there aren't too many rocky patches. :)

Quote from: Beth Andrea on July 27, 2013, 07:30:48 AM
[ wicked witch voice]These things take time...they must be done deh-licately....[ /voice]

I remember being creeped out by body hair, too. The wife was ok with waxing the legs and chest, because no one saw that...but after I did my arms, she was worried that people would notice.

They didn't. ;)

Good luck with your transition!

Thanks!

I know there are a lot of brave people who just do what they want. But I like to live below the radar. I don't want to attract attention.

Hopefully I can start my transition within the next two years when I'm finally living independently.

Dreams,

I have to admit, the worst physical dysphoria that I've had was my body hair, blech.  :icon_blah:

Once I shaved it all off, I've felt so much better. I understand living with your parents keeps you from wanting to do things that will make you feel better but cis guys sometimes shave off their body hair for different reasons too. Could you try shaving your arms and see if your parent will notice? Are your arms like werewolf (i.e. Robin Williams) hairy? You could always just say you wanted to try a cleaner look and leave it at that.

Do whatever makes you the most comfortable but from my experience, getting rid of that body hair makes a HUGE difference. :)


Amy

Quote from: Amelia Pond on July 27, 2013, 11:13:47 AM
Dreams,

I have to admit, the worst physical dysphoria that I've had was my body hair, blech.  :icon_blah:

Once I shaved it all off, I've felt so much better. I understand living with your parents keeps you from wanting to do things that will make you feel better but cis guys sometimes shave off their body hair for different reasons too. Could you try shaving your arms and see if your parent will notice? Are your arms like werewolf (i.e. Robin Williams) hairy? You could always just say you wanted to try a cleaner look and leave it at that.

Do whatever makes you the most comfortable but from my experience, getting rid of that body hair makes a HUGE difference. :)



Amy

I'll definitely consider it as an option. Although I think we all know it will never be enough. I just need to be in an environment where I can start a transition really.

I had the same worries about shaving my body hair. I didn't want someone to notice and question me about or make fun of me in some way. I ended up doing it anyway, and the only time anyone noticed was when I cut myself and had blood running down my leg. There's plenty of cis males that shave or have less noticeable leg hair. You could also run over your hair with a hair clipper that has a guard, so you can take off most of it, but still sort of have some hair. I did that before I took the plunge and shaved everything.

Is there a way you could shave and if its noticed, just pass it off as having to do with your ocd?  Not the most elegant solution, but a solution nonetheless.

Quote from: how-audrey on July 27, 2013, 12:06:58 PM
I had the same worries about shaving my body hair. I didn't want someone to notice and question me about or make fun of me in some way. I ended up doing it anyway, and the only time anyone noticed was when I cut myself and had blood running down my leg. There's plenty of cis males that shave or have less noticeable leg hair. You could also run over your hair with a hair clipper that has a guard, so you can take off most of it, but still sort of have some hair. I did that before I took the plunge and shaved everything.

Hmm. I think I can cope with it until I transition. I'm patient. I just found my growing disgust to be interesting. I'm wondering what's next.

Quote from: Dreams2014 on July 27, 2013, 12:11:30 PM
Hmm. I think I can cope with it until I transition. I'm patient. I just found my growing disgust to be interesting. I'm wondering what's next.

When you realize you've already gone thru puberty, and your shoulders are getting W I D E R. And your hips haven't changed.

Quote from: Beth Andrea on July 27, 2013, 12:18:10 PM
When you realize you've already gone thru puberty, and your shoulders are getting W I D E R. And your hips haven't changed.

I'm 23. So I have been through puberty. Fortunately due to my genetics I am slim, so my shoulders aren't broad and I'm skinny. I'm hoping that proves to be a good template.

23 is an amazing time to transition. Wait to long and it gets more difficult to transition. Life gets in the way. Out yourself and move forward. I was outed nationally and it was liberating.

Quote from: DrZoey on July 27, 2013, 01:09:39 PM
23 is an amazing time to transition. Wait to long and it gets more difficult to transition. Life gets in the way. Out yourself and move forward. I was outed nationally and it was liberating.

What do you mean you were outed nationally, you mean you were in the news?

This might sound silly, but people are not very observant. Shaving your body hair off isn't a big deal.

Lots of male athletes and entertainers, remove body hair.

Have you seen a hairy wrestler on WWE?

So did I... Which is why I had all of my body and most of my facial hair removed by laser & electrolysis before I even started HRT. I couldn't stand to look at it. 

Quote from: Cindy. on July 27, 2013, 01:14:41 PM

Lots of male athletes and entertainers, remove body hair.

Have you seen a hairy wrestler on WWE?

This is very true. I thought the same thing the other day. They must have an inhouse laser tech or two, that they send all the wrestlers to. They are all pretty much totally smooth and hair free... Which is how I prefer my guys anyway.
;)

Quote from: JennX on July 27, 2013, 01:34:08 PM
So did I... Which is why I had all of my body and most of my facial hair removed by laser & electrolysis before I even started HRT. I couldn't stand to look at it.

Wouldn't the HRT more or less remove the hair problem?

I'm totally in the closet, and I shave my arms.  Nobody notices, or if they do they don't care.  The only person who even noticed was my wife, and she thinks it's a little weird, but doesn't really care.

The truth is, it's your body, and you can basically do what you want with it.

J.

Nowadays a guy taking care of his body hair is no big deal. Actually I think most girls my age would either not mind or even prefer a guy who keeps his body hair under control. Given this, if your parents make a big deal of you taking care of your body hair, tell them they're outdated.

Hun i have shaved every inch of my body from the neck down religiously and have since i was a kid. Yes my mother gave me the usual "your a boy your supposed to have hair" line but over time she backed off. I also only once had a girl say that it was kinda gay but over time she started loving it and got over it. Fast forward a number of years and now at 29 i still shave and no one cares or notices.

Trust me hun i suffer from OCD too so i know that occasionally body hair makes you twitch but just keep swimming until you can make it.

Quote from: Dreams2014 on July 27, 2013, 01:44:49 PM
Wouldn't the HRT more or less remove the hair problem?

In time once you get your T levels knocked down it will help with body hair ie:chest, back (fade into non-issue) along with thinner underarms, pubic, arm and leg hairs. Can reverse some male pattern baldness. But everyone reacts differently. Some get good results, some poor.

Quote from: Dreams2014 on July 27, 2013, 01:44:49 PM
Wouldn't the HRT more or less remove the hair problem?

No. Especially facial hair. HRT has near zero effect on male facial hair. Body hair... slight reduction. Better results on lower arms/legs... The further from the torso, the better. If anyone tells you HRT alone, will leave you hair free, or with similar body/facial hair to a cis-female, don't believe it. After about 3 years of laser & electro, I'm now hairless from the neck down. All gone.
:)

Quote from: JennX on July 27, 2013, 09:00:46 PM
No. Especially facial hair. HRT has near zero effect on male facial hair. Body hair... slight reduction. Better results on lower arms/legs... The further from the torso, the better. If anyone tells you HRT alone, will leave you hair free, or with similar body/facial hair to a cis-female, don't believe it. After about 3 years of laser & electro, I'm now hairless from the neck down. All gone.
:)

Much the same, I had laser for facial hair and got my breasts and tummy done as well. Hairy boobs were not going to happen! I went on Spiro purely to develop female pattern hair growth and it has done that. I get some hair on my lower legs - outside of my legs, same place on each leg! Which I shave about once a fortnight. Body hair now has a normal female pattern, no back hair no tummy hair and no bum hair (sorry :embarrassed:). But again it varies between individuals. I was never particularly hairy anyway.

I was a bear and hated it.I shaved my legs and body,no one could see of course.I managed to singe most of the hair off my left arm welding my rusty 69'Cuda and shaved the other one to match!After 2 years on HRT and 6 or 7 waxings I got rid of it for good

Quote from: Dreams2014 on July 27, 2013, 01:44:49 PM
Wouldn't the HRT more or less remove the hair problem?

In most cases, it makes it lighter in color and finer.  I only shaved twice since on HRT.  It grew out thick the second time but really thinned with time.  My sisters and nieces were amazed with the results. 

  Joelene

Sounds like it would probably be better to get laser treatment before or early into HRT then?

It's a gamble for you to make. HRT might make your body hair virtually vanish, like it did with many. It might do nearly nothing, like it did with many. It might leave you with most of your body hair, but lighten it in such a way that laser wouldn't be very effective on it, like it did with me. (Codename: Owned.)

Do women in your family generally have a relatively large amount of hair for women? That might be a clue. If so, then maybe yours won't be reduced all that much. If not, then maybe you'll get lucky. I have a feeling there's a genetic factor in how much "basic" hair one has and how much being a guy changes.

But for facial hair... HRT having a significant effect on it is a rare, surprising occurrence, generally seen in people whose facial hair hasn't fully developed yet. So you shouldn't bet on it. For your face at least, get laser early on.