Susan's Place Transgender Resources

My endo Dr. wants to give me a pelvic exam next time she see's me and I absolutely am refusing. I will not have this done.

Anyone Else's endo Dr. require to give you a pelvic exam?

Um, well I don't think she needs to look at how much growth you have had. If it was to check the organs for their health, then yeah, I'd see why she wants to do it. But to check the growth? That seems weird to me, and totally unnecessary.

That's why I thought she wanted to do is check my downstairs growth. I could have misunderstood her though. But it might being checking the organs like you said and I had just misunderstood her. But Depending on what that pelvic exam requires, I may refuse.

Pap smear maybe because if you still have those parts T does not make the risks go away.  And would you not be more confortable with your endo then somone else new or maybe if thats what she is thinking a smear maybe you could see your OB/GYN ?

Izz

Quote from: mind is quiet now on August 05, 2013, 05:49:35 PM
Pap smear maybe because if you still have those parts T does not make the risks go away. 

It seems like a pap smear to me as well.  I would suggest getting it, especially if your on T since it increases your chances of cancer and other complcations. 

Yeah, I will never get a pap smear done and my endo doc knows this. It will NEVER happen.

If you've had a shark week within the last couple of years, your risk for complications won't be much higher. 5ish+ years and it's much higher.

Bare in mind that your endo may refuse to renew your prescription if you refuse the exam.

Quote from: Soren on August 05, 2013, 06:25:05 PM
If you've had a shark week within the last couple of years, your risk for complications won't be much higher. 5ish+ years and it's much higher.

Bare in mind that your endo may refuse to renew your prescription if you refuse the exam.

If she does then how would I live? There would be no reason to live, (not that I have reason to live now), it would make things a lot worse if she did that. I would not be able to work if I ever got a job. I would not leave the house if she did that to me. That would be a really bad idea if she did that to me.

Quote from: Dominick_81 on August 05, 2013, 05:39:22 PM
That's why I thought she wanted to do is check my downstairs growth. I could have misunderstood her though. But it might being checking the organs like you said and I had just misunderstood her. But Depending on what that pelvic exam requires, I may refuse.

Do the exam.  Your doctor is certainly aware of your dysphoria, but every one should have an occasional check-up.

Of course, if you want to run the risk of undiagnosed disease, I guess that's up to you.  Don't be a dope.

Do you think I like having a gloved finger rammed up my butt and my prostate poked?

Quote from: Dominick_81 on August 05, 2013, 06:34:08 PM
If she does then how would I live? There would be no reason to live, (not that I have reason to live now), it would make things a lot worse if she did that. I would not be able to work if I ever got a job. I would not leave the house if she did that to me. That would be a really bad idea if she did that to me.

Then ask if it's necessary for a refill and if she says yes, then do it.

I had to have a pelvic exam once and it was before I came out so I had no excuse to back up refusing. The thought of anybody, even a doctor, going anywhere near parts I'm not supposed to have absolutely petrified me. I was led there and I couldn't move, I froze up. The literally had to ask me a million times to let them have a look. I eventually let them and yes, it was horrible, BUT, it was over before it had really began. Take your mind to another place and just block it out. Let them do what they have to do, she wouldn't have to do it if it wasn't important. I don't even think about the exam now. Ten minutes of feeling uncomfortable is nothing compared to the alternatives you could face if you don't have it done. Nobody can force you to do it, but I'd seriously consider it. Honestly, it's not as bad as you think. You can do it.

Thanks guys but I'll have to take my chances without the exam. I just won't do it. It's too humiliating for me. The next thing I'll have to save up for is a hysto. But still, no one is examining me down there for the hysto surgery either.


@Jamie D: that sounds terrible what they had to do to you, I'm sorry you had to go through that. I totally wouldn't of had it done. That's an invasion of privacy. All these exams are.

Havent you been talking about being unhappy with your changes and that your T level was not in the normal range? S/he most likely wants to get that area checked up since your T hasn't been working as well as it should, something could be interfering with that.

Quote from: Dominick_81 on August 05, 2013, 07:26:08 PM
Thanks guys but I'll have to take my chances without the exam. I just won't do it. It's too humiliating for me. The next thing I'll have to save up for is a hysto. But still, no one is examining me down there for the hysto surgery either.

They are going to have to look at you for a hysto.

While you're within your right to refuse medical treatment, realize that if you get cancer you could be in agony for years until you finally succumb to it and die. Because the reproductive system in female bodies is so close to the bowels, it's easy for it to jump ship and migrate. What's worse? Agony and horrifying death, cancer eating your intestines until you have to wear a colostomy bag for the rest of your life and have a seriously compromised immune system where you get sick every other week, or a 5 minute exam?

Also, if your doctor does require an exam before she prescribes anymore medication, she's within HER right, since she can't, in good conscious, prescribe medication that could be harming you if you don't allow her to do her JOB and keep you healthy medically. Patients always have the right to say no, and doctors always have the right to tell their patient to seek treatment somewhere else if you refuse to follow their orders.

Quote from: Elijah on August 05, 2013, 07:40:57 PM
Havent you been talking about being unhappy with your changes and that your T level was not in the normal range? S/he most likely wants to get that area checked up since your T hasn't been working as well as it should, something could be interfering with that.

I'm not sure. She said eventually she will have to do a pelvic exam. I don't think it's due to not having my T levels in the normal male range though. Because they were in the normal male range 6 months ago (but on the lower side) and she said that she could raise the dosage higher if I wanted to, but I didn't want to, I was okay with the dosage on was on and b/c I didn't want the acne to flare up again and I was still in the normal male range so I didn't think it mattered to have my dosage raised or not.

Quote from: Elijah on August 05, 2013, 07:44:43 PM
They are going to have to look at you for a hysto.

I know. My dr. did say once, but she doesn't remember saying it, but I remember her saying it. She said that they could probably to an altra sound to check things out. I'll do that. The only thing that I would possibly agree too is if they don't look down there, but just feel where they need to feel and that's it. That's the only thing I would consider.

Quote from: randomroads on August 05, 2013, 07:51:29 PM
While you're within your right to refuse medical treatment, realize that if you get cancer you could be in agony for years until you finally succumb to it and die. Because the reproductive system in female bodies is so close to the bowels, it's easy for it to jump ship and migrate. What's worse? Agony and horrifying death, cancer eating your intestines until you have to wear a colostomy bag for the rest of your life and have a seriously compromised immune system where you get sick every other week, or a 5 minute exam?

Also, if your doctor does require an exam before she prescribes anymore medication, she's within HER right, since she can't, in good conscious, prescribe medication that could be harming you if you don't allow her to do her JOB and keep you healthy medically. Patients always have the right to say no, and doctors always have the right to tell their patient to seek treatment somewhere else if you refuse to follow their orders.

Had I been born in the right body I wouldn't have to worry about exams like these. I know I would have to worry about other exams but I wouldn't be putting dangerous stuff into my body b/c I wouldn't need too b/c I was in the right body, a male body. I would only go for a check ups if I felt something was wrong or I was in pain.

Quote from: Dominick_81 on August 05, 2013, 08:40:23 PM


Had I been born in the right body I wouldn't have to worry about exams like these.

No, you'd just need to have the doctor grab your sack and have you cough, and then shove his hand up your a** when you turn 40 to check your prostate.

Quote from: Soren on August 05, 2013, 08:50:21 PM
No, you'd just need to have the doctor grab your sack and have you cough, and then shove his hand up your a** when you turn 40 to check your prostate.

Yep, and that sucks! I still wouldn't have that done either.

Quote from: Dominick_81 on August 05, 2013, 08:56:27 PM
Yep, and that sucks! I still wouldn't have that done either.

So do you know if she'll withhold your prescription or not based on if you take the exam or not?

And also, for a hysto, you'll be naked when they do it and unless you want a huge scar, they'll be touching that area. And they'll likely have a catheter in you while you recover.

Short version, you can refuse the exam and your doctor can refuse to keep treating you.. Simple.

Quote from: randomroads on August 05, 2013, 07:51:29 PM
While you're within your right to refuse medical treatment, realize that if you get cancer you could be in agony for years until you finally succumb to it and die. Because the reproductive system in female bodies is so close to the bowels, it's easy for it to jump ship and migrate. What's worse? Agony and horrifying death, cancer eating your intestines until you have to wear a colostomy bag for the rest of your life and have a seriously compromised immune system where you get sick every other week, or a 5 minute exam?

Also, if your doctor does require an exam before she prescribes anymore medication, she's within HER right, since she can't, in good conscious, prescribe medication that could be harming you if you don't allow her to do her JOB and keep you healthy medically. Patients always have the right to say no, and doctors always have the right to tell their patient to seek treatment somewhere else if you refuse to follow their orders.

Though very blunt, roads is correct.  I know not everyone (especially in the U.S.) can afford to get a check-up, but if you are able to, you should.

As you know, regardless of the gender, people have certain parts that needs to be checked out.  Oftentimes, it can be pride or embarrassment that gets people killed.  My grandfather is an example of that.  He died a couple of years ago to prostate cancer and come to find out from my dad, my grandfather refused to get a prostate exam because he fear that would ruin his sex life somehow, and now he isn't having any kind of love life.

It may make you uncomfortable, but more often than not, getting these check ups are for the best.  You're a relatively young person and it wouldn't be good if you had complications due to refusal of letting them touch you.  As far as a hysto is concerned, I don't see how they could perform one without checking it first.  Getting a pelvic exam will not make you less of a man.

Quote from: Soren on August 05, 2013, 09:02:42 PM
So do you know if she'll withhold your prescription or not based on if you take the exam or not?

And also, for a hysto, you'll be naked when they do it and unless you want a huge scar, they'll be touching that area. And they'll likely have a catheter in you while you recover.

That sucks! I refuse to get naked for any kind of exam.

I'm not sure if she'll withhold prescription or not.

Quote from: Kelly the Trans-Rebel on August 05, 2013, 09:16:03 PM
Short version, you can refuse the exam and your doctor can refuse to keep treating you.. Simple.

I'm not sure what I'll do then. It's something I'll have to think about.

Quote from: Malachite on August 05, 2013, 09:28:47 PM
Though very blunt, roads is correct.  I know not everyone (especially in the U.S.) can afford to get a check-up, but if you are able to, you should.

As you know, regardless of the gender, people have certain parts that needs to be checked out.  Oftentimes, it can be pride or embarrassment that gets people killed.  My grandfather is an example of that.  He died a couple of years ago to prostate cancer and come to find out from my dad, my grandfather refused to get a prostate exam because he fear that would ruin his sex life somehow, and now he isn't having any kind of love life.

It may make you uncomfortable, but more often than not, getting these check ups are for the best.  You're a relatively young person and it wouldn't be good if you had complications due to refusal of letting them touch you.  As far as a hysto is concerned, I don't see how they could perform one without checking it first.  Getting a pelvic exam will not make you less of a man.

It's humiliating for me. I don't want anyone to look at me down there.

Quote from: Dominick_81 on August 05, 2013, 09:34:20 PM
That sucks! I refuse to get naked for any kind of exam.

I meant for the actual procedure. I don't know if you would need to be naked for the exam to get a hysto.

To put it bluntly, some things you just have to man up for. You think any one of us actually enjoys or isn't humiliated by those sorts of exams from doctors? But doctors are well aware of this sort of thing. They try to be as quick as possible. Some even try to distract you by talking about the weather. The point is, you won't get any further along in your journey without taking steps forward.

Quote from: Soren on August 05, 2013, 09:38:51 PM
I meant for the actual procedure. I don't know if you would need to be naked for the exam to get a hysto.

I see. That sucks too.

Quote from: insideontheoutside on August 05, 2013, 10:00:03 PM
To put it bluntly, some things you just have to man up for. You think any one of us actually enjoys or isn't humiliated by those sorts of exams from doctors? But doctors are well aware of this sort of thing. They try to be as quick as possible. Some even try to distract you by talking about the weather. The point is, you won't get any further along in your journey without taking steps forward.

I just don't want anyone to look at me down there. It's just too uncomfortable for me. And I absolutely would NOT let a male exam me. So if I ever decided that I would do it, it would have to be done by a female doctor. I know most of these doctors are male and no male is gonna be touching me or looking at me down there.

Do you need the exam because you're on T, or just because you're at that age?

You don't have to be seen by a male. You can be seen by a female on request. Not having the exam isn't going to help you.

Quote from: Soren on August 05, 2013, 10:09:32 PM
Do you need the exam because you're on T, or just because you're at that age?

I think b/c I'm on T. I'm 31.

Quote from: Joey. on August 05, 2013, 10:12:45 PM
You don't have to be seen by a male. You can be seen by a female on request. Not having the exam isn't going to help you.

That's good to know.

Quote from: Dominick_81 on August 05, 2013, 10:13:35 PM
I think b/c I'm on T. I'm 31.

That's past the advised age.
Have you had a sharkweek within a couple of years? (yes, it's relevant)

Quote from: Soren on August 05, 2013, 10:27:40 PM
That's past the advised age.
Have you had a sharkweek within a couple of years? (yes, it's relevant)

After a few weeks on T it went away. I'm so glad it went away! I never want it to come back. Popping all those pills to make the pain go away sucked! I hate taking pills!

Quote from: Dominick_81 on August 05, 2013, 10:47:04 PM
After a few weeks on T it went away. I'm so glad it went away! I never want it to come back. Popping all those pills to make the pain go away sucked! I hate taking pills!

Have you had one within 5 years?

Quote from: Dominick_81 on August 05, 2013, 08:40:23 PM
I know. My dr. did say once, but she doesn't remember saying it, but I remember her saying it. She said that they could probably to an altra sound to check things out. I'll do that.

She is probably talking about doing a trans-vaginal ultrasound (yes, that is what they're really called). It's a phallic looking wand that they cover with a condom and stick up inside you to look around. I had to have a couple of those done before they would approve me for my hysto. Trust me, getting a pap smear is a lot quicker and less mentally damaging than getting that procedure done. A good doc will understand how uneasy you are with getting an exam and it will take 5 minutes or less. Be a big boy and take care of yourself.

Quote from: Dominick_81 on August 05, 2013, 07:26:08 PM
Thanks guys but I'll have to take my chances without the exam. I just won't do it. It's too humiliating for me. The next thing I'll have to save up for is a hysto. But still, no one is examining me down there for the hysto surgery either.


@Jamie D: that sounds terrible what they had to do to you, I'm sorry you had to go through that. I totally wouldn't of had it done. That's an invasion of privacy. All these exams are.

I would rather go through a few moments of discomfort then have an undiagnosed prostate cancer or an painful enlarged prostate.  We all have our burdens to carry.  But we often live into out 70s or 80s these days, instead of dying in our 40s like they did in the Middle Ages.

After years training to be a doctor and even working as a home carer, nakedness isn't a big deal.  It's basically just part of your job and so the doctor will, in most cases, not care one jot and focus on making sure you don't feel overly uncomfortable!  Nakedness as a part of your job does NOT turn you on!  For some reason, that helps me at least. 

This is your endo.  When compared to many of the health professions this is someone that, for the most part, tends to be way less judgemental.  It's someone you don't have to explain anything to and would therefore make the procedure less of a tedious task.  With other health care professionals you'd be the dude getting a pap smear and it just adds to the awkwardness.

When I was a home carer there were precious few guys in the job and so male clients just had to deal with women having to help them shower or wash.  They would feel really uncomfortable about the idea of a woman looking at their downstairs junk and washing them, but they knew they had no choice and after a few sessions they'd realise that we didn't make a big deal of it so they could almost ignore it being uncomfortable.  I mean it's difficult enough for anyone to need that kind of help but to not have a choice in gender, that's got to suck a little for sure.  Some women were uncomfortable with me because they thought I was a guy but they get over that fast.

For me, I HATE being top or bottom half naked.  It's something I don't like.  At the same time I know that in order to get top surgery, or even particular exams, or surgeries I've been through, I can't wear anything on my top half and that's horrible but it's for the greater good so I man up.  For pap smears - I man up!  The fact that you seem to have never had one is a concern in itself, maybe they've seen that from your notes?

The end of the day, if you don't get check ups, you could die.  You might be willing to take that risk but the general idea out there is that T may put you at increased rate of downstairs issues.  So it's a definite possibility that if you refuse the exam they could stop your scripts.  Personally, if you were my patient and you refused this exam and by default a hysto itself (you NEED to have that part examined for a hysto) I'd stop giving you scripts because that's my ass on the line.  I can't speak for your endo but it could very well be a possibility.  So right now, I'd be looking at ways to overcome your fear and deal with it.  EVERYONE has to go through uncomfortable exams they don't want to.  Mammography is apparently hell.  Pap smears and prostate exams - no one wants them.  Yes, we have the added dysphoria about it which makes it worse, but at the end of the day, it's a necessary evil and should be done.

You can request a sedative to get you through it. Enough to virtually knock you out.  Try that idea.

I don't know what you want us to say.  Your doctor, and certainly none of us, can, in good conscience, tell you that it's okay not to have an exam which could save your life. I don't know how old you are, but the only way you could responsibly get out of this is if you're under 25, but that's still not taking into consideration the fact that T increases your chances of problems down there.

No we don't enjoy it, I'm dreading the day I turn twenty-five and get a letter from the NHS through the post, but it's got to be done.  If thinking that you have those parts down there is causing a problem, then imagine how it will be being told that those parts you hate so much are killing you.  They're a nightmare to live with when you get that dysphoric, you don't want them ending your life as well.  Five measly minutes is all it takes. A 0.000950662th of a year.  It's a tiny fraction of your life, and if it means doing it in order to continue getting your T and giving you a hope in hell of getting on with your life then you should do it.  Maybe she won't stop your T over this, but at some point there is going to be a concern, especially if you refuse to let them look at you for a hysto.  Do you really think it's a good idea to give a surgeon a scalpel and a free ticket to cutting up your body when they have no idea what they're up against or any complications?  I mean, surgeons are good, but it's a better idea to reduce the risks of something going wrong and killing you.

It doesn't make you more of a man to refuse these exams, it makes you a fool.  And a reckless fool at that.

This is your decision.  Many here have given you a list of reasons why you need the exam.  The dr has the choice of not given you a T script if he/she thinks there is a reason.  I know I will have to get those exams someday, one reason for wanting a total hysto is so I never a pap of other exam down there.  Top surgery will eliminate the need for mammograms.

Since you didn't answer my question, I'm going to assume that you really do believe that being in agony and eaten up with cancer and infections is better. Good luck with that mindset. You're certainly not alone, but you are an incredibly tiny minority.