Susan's Place Transgender Resources

If you're on anti-depressants, has it helped you at all with your depression or suicidal thoughts regarding your dysphoria, gender issues, or transition? I'm curious because i'm on an anti-depressant and I feel like this is just going to be a waste for me because I can't transition or live as a guy for a long time due to nobody supporting me so it's all caused me a lot of depression/suicidal thoughts even though i've been on medication for a few months.

No, they make me more stable but overall worse, even more depressed.

No. They have increased me three times. I am thinking I need a different tablet entirely. I am not sure if they can help me. I am too far gone >.<

Quote from: SaveMeJeebus on August 15, 2013, 03:24:04 PM
No. They have increased me three times. I am thinking I need a different tablet entirely. I am not sure if they can help me. I am too far gone >.<

You are never too far gone and if you are feeling suicidal, please get help. I don't want to lose you. You are important to me, despite me not knowing you in person.

You need to ask yourself: Why am I depressed? Is there a reason? Or Am I bipolar? And if, what caused it?

No, they made me suicidal and I should never have been on them.

There are anti-depressant medications other than the typical SSRI's people associate the term with

I'm on a mood stabilizer called Lamictal which is sometimes used as a stand-alone anti-depressant. It is mostly given as part of a bipolar regimen, and it started out as a seizure medication, but at lower doses doctors use it to treat people with clinical depression alone.

I've been taking it for over a year now, and it has saved my life. The only negative side effect is some weird acne that I can totally live with. I've dropped over 60 lbs since being on it; I am doing better with work stuff than I have in years.

I refused to take medication for years and saw my situation get worse and worse. I don't know if I hit the medication jackpot or what, but it makes everything so much better.

I think they are a good tool to use to help at the start of transition. For me i been on most of the popular ones at first, all at very high doses.

What i found is it comes down to understanding the trigger circle of being transgender. Once you break one of the triggers thing start to fall back into some order of normal and then drugs are not needed. For me i feel it worked because i gave into who i was and spent most of my energy on myself and did not let any negitive effect what i knew inside as true.

Lots of luck, Look inward and the true answer is there.

Izzy

I have just come off Citalopram,it was turning me into a lethargic zombie.It took the edge off depression at first,I had been prescribed it for over 2 years.

i wish i could just go off Sertralin and Risperdal. It's making things worse for me. It is actually robbing me of any intense emotions. It is making me even more depressed. I'd rather be more instable than like this. They also rob me of much of my energy.

Quote from: ZootAllures! on August 15, 2013, 04:45:11 PM
i wish i could just go off Sertralin and Risperdal. It's making things worse for me. It is actually robbing me of any intense emotions. It is making me even more depressed. I'd rather be more instable than like this. They also rob me of much of my energy.

Oh god. I used to be on that crap. I stopped being able to function.

No. I was on one tablet, didn't work, so the dose increased, still didn't work, swapped to another one, this one don't work either, increased dose, still no change. I feel exactly the same as I did before I went on any medication.

I was prescribed them when I was 14. They made me violently ill. I never took them again. So... not really, no.

CBT helped somewhat though.

Quote from: Sephirah on August 15, 2013, 08:55:10 PMCBT helped somewhat though.

I second that.

I've been on sertraline for years. It's generally done enough to keep me out of the abyss (I go slipping back in if I miss my medication for more than a day or so), but not so much that my depression has ever completely disappeared. After spending a long time in limbo, I tried a booster medication to try and get myself over that hill, and for a while it was working. Then my wall of denial about being trans broke, I fell to pieces and my life with it, and I've been picking things up ever since. Still, major shocks aside, I think they've been helpful. I don't think I would have survived middle or high school without them.

I was given Citalopram 10 years ago but I couldn't cope with the suicidal thoughts, nausea,violent nightmares,fuzzy detatched and dead inside feelings.Sometimes the cure is worse than the disease,I was given it again just over 2 years ago after Sertraline had been prescribed and I couldn't get on with it, I'm sure I should never have been on it so long

more than anything they harmed me

tricyclics cause me gran mal seizures - MAOI's make me really sick (these are rare anymore they we used more in the past  they have strict dietary restrictions)

SSRI's have zero effects not even making me sleepy or anything - I was tested also on anti anxiety and a few mood stabilizers & antipsychotics before I abandoned all psychiatry in favor of talk therapy as I figured the pill pusher was just hurting me more than helping me $75,000 in bills from side effects

I've been on anti-depressants and they have helped me a little bit. One thing you need to keep in mind is that it takes a while for them to work and it'll get worse before it gets better. And medication without therapy is (in my opinion) pretty useless. I didn't take them for very long, I didn't feel they helped me much and as soon as I got intensive therapy they had me go off them. Therapy has helped way more than pills ever did.

Hmm, they did. When I was in the very bottom of a pit, Wellbutrin gave me artificial energy that helped getting motivated in getting better.

Right now I'm on a lower dose of the same medication, and it helps stabilize my mood. I get fewer, and less extreme, weird unexplained depressed periods.

You have to know though that if your depression is mainly or entirely caused by gender dysphoria, it won't be too useful. In that case, I see it as... Yeah, let's say you broke a leg (gender dysphoria). It's really bad, and the bone pieces are misplaced. You can't even try to walk. Then someone brings you a crutch (anti-depressants). With the crutch, you could go to the hospital (work on gender dysphoria and possibly transition). But if you decide to just go home because with the crutch, you can walk... Your leg is going to have serious problems.

Anti-depressants are there to help control depressive symptoms. But unless the depression is strictly chemical, it does nothing about the cause(s). In the worst case scenario, it will mask the symptoms while the issue keeps growing in the background, and at some point tolerance to the product will appear and things will be much worse than before.

Aside from that, anti-depressants are a huge basket from which to choose. And rarely will all anti-depressants work for a given person. Actually, often, quite a few different kinds (and sometimes even combinations) have to be tried before something useful is found. So if one doesn't work, it doesn't mean none will.

Anyway, all that to say... it's probably not wise to be using anti-depressants just to be able to endure not transitioning. iamconfused, you say you're not being supported... Do you just mean that you're not getting help? Because if it's just that, it should be possible to transition. Or do you mean it's really bad, like, we'll kick you out if you even talk about not being a girl again? Even in that case, seeing a therapist should be possible and helpful, even if you need to give a false pretext for it.

Quote from: JenSquid on August 15, 2013, 09:35:01 PM
I've been on sertraline for years. It's generally done enough to keep me out of the abyss (I go slipping back in if I miss my medication for more than a day or so), but not so much that my depression has ever completely disappeared. After spending a long time in limbo, I tried a booster medication to try and get myself over that hill, and for a while it was working. Then my wall of denial about being trans broke, I fell to pieces and my life with it, and I've been picking things up ever since. Still, major shocks aside, I think they've been helpful. I don't think I would have survived middle or high school without them.

I believe that is what I am on as well; Sertraline. Doesn't work me, but it interesting it 'keeps you out of the abyss'.

Quote from: A on August 16, 2013, 03:11:32 AM
Hmm, they did. When I was in the very bottom of a pit, Wellbutrin gave me artificial energy that helped getting motivated in getting better.

Right now I'm on a lower dose of the same medication, and it helps stabilize my mood. I get fewer, and less extreme, weird unexplained depressed periods.

You have to know though that if your depression is mainly or entirely caused by gender dysphoria, it won't be too useful. In that case, I see it as... Yeah, let's say you broke a leg (gender dysphoria). It's really bad, and the bone pieces are misplaced. You can't even try to walk. Then someone brings you a crutch (anti-depressants). With the crutch, you could go to the hospital (work on gender dysphoria and possibly transition). But if you decide to just go home because with the crutch, you can walk... Your leg is going to have serious problems.

Anti-depressants are there to help control depressive symptoms. But unless the depression is strictly chemical, it does nothing about the cause(s). In the worst case scenario, it will mask the symptoms while the issue keeps growing in the background, and at some point tolerance to the product will appear and things will be much worse than before.

Aside from that, anti-depressants are a huge basket from which to choose. And rarely will all anti-depressants work for a given person. Actually, often, quite a few different kinds (and sometimes even combinations) have to be tried before something useful is found. So if one doesn't work, it doesn't mean none will.

Anyway, all that to say... it's probably not wise to be using anti-depressants just to be able to endure not transitioning. iamconfused, you say you're not being supported... Do you just mean that you're not getting help? Because if it's just that, it should be possible to transition. Or do you mean it's really bad, like, we'll kick you out if you even talk about not being a girl again? Even in that case, seeing a therapist should be possible and helpful, even if you need to give a false pretext for it.

That too. My family is very close-minded.. for example, if someone who was transsexual appeared on TV, they'd laugh at them. My gender dysphoria doesn't cause all of my depression but i would say that it causes most of it. I have sucidial thoughts a lot because of my dysphoria. I don't want to get out of the house or anything because of how uncomfortable I feel with the incongruence of my body and my brain. I do have a therapist (not a gender one) but I don't think i would be comfortable telling them about all of this.

Quote from: A on August 16, 2013, 03:11:32 AMIn the worst case scenario, it will mask the symptoms while the issue keeps growing in the background, and at some point tolerance to the product will appear and things will be much worse than before.

Actually, the worst case scenario is being one of the percentage of people (yes, we do exist) for whom anti-depressants have the opposite effect, having a doctor who won't listen and keeps adding more no matter how much you beg him to stop, getting worse and worse over the course of a couple years, each drug you are given has the same horrifying effect (I am not exaggerating. A good person would not wish this on their worst enemy), people keep telling you to just try another or adjust the dose or that "meds don't make people worse," and all you can see stretching before you is more of this. Even after you stop, you have panic attacks for the next few years whenever someone mentions the drugs.
So sorry to correct you here, but I just wanted to point out that I exist and my experiences happened.

Quote from: A on August 16, 2013, 03:11:32 AM
Anti-depressants are there to help control depressive symptoms. But unless the depression is strictly chemical, it does nothing about the cause(s). In the worst case scenario, it will mask the symptoms while the issue keeps growing in the background, and at some point tolerance to the product will appear and things will be much worse than before.

Obviously you did not read my post -

Worst case scenario - gran mal seizures (I had to relearn the english language) - suicide from allergic reaction to the drug   - some of us do have serious reaction sto allopathic medications - there are actual warnings on the packagings - they come with these papers that you are supposed to read the thing folds out to a whole sheet that is about 3' by 3' and the print is 6 point. you need a magnifying glass

{It's worth noting that I suffer from chronic major depression.  There is no trigger required, sometimes it just occurs.  Additionally, PTSD & social anxiety were added for flavor.}

My last regimen was Lamictal, Abilify & Neurontin.  I started at a fairly low dose of all three & experienced an adequate decrease in generalized symptoms.  In total, I took that combination for just over two years.  By the end, when we suddenly found ourselves without insurance, I was taking the max dosage of all three due to an ever increasing tolerance & still saw little improvement.

I've taken medications such as Celexa, Zoloft & Lexapro but there was no improvement at the 6 month mark. 

Wellbutrin, (which I have taken 3 times for 1 year each) induces fairly extreme mania (in me). 

Cymbalta introduced true homicidal tendencies & is off the table for life.  (I realized there was a problem while watching the film, Sweeney Todd.  It was as if I were watching an instruction manual and experienced great joy at the notion.)

In my late teens, one psychiatrist placed me on a 6 month regimen of Effexor and Zyprexa.  That combination rendered me a catatonic state.  (As an adult, I requested my medical records & was afforded the knowledge that she felt I was homicidal & per my mother's request, discreetly sedated me.)

Despite the stigma attached, Prozac is appropriate for some.  One of my sister's reluctantly began that medication several years ago & it treated her beautifully.

There is a huge selection of medications now available.  Each person reacts differently. 

No pill can change how you feel about something.  Some pills do have the benefit(?) of disengaging emotional function.  The trade is that you don't care, at all, about anything. 

In my experience; yes, some medications can take the edge off the anxiety (I) have felt regarding things like transition & dysphoria.  The pills don't *fix* it though.  You work to accept your trans-ness, work to find some middle ground or continue to fight (or ignore) it & continue the cycle. 

SaveMeJeebus (& everyone else), *hugs*.   :-*

You can be proactive about your own treatment as well - Not that you should tell your doctor what to do, but no reason not to go into an appointment with an idea of what is out there medication wise.

http://www.crazymeds.us/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/HomePage

^this is the best resource I have seen. The side effects listing are concise and honest - based off what people actually experience instead of numbers in folded sheets of paper included for liability reasons.

The other posters who said you have to keep trying to find something that works are absolutely correct. It is a process. And, at times you may need more than one medication depending on what is going on with your mood and your life.

I agree that the pills only help when it is a chemical issue and not just depression from gender related issues alone.

With crazy pills and transitioning, I think I might actually be on my way to (almost) functioning as a normal person.

Quote from: Edge on August 15, 2013, 06:56:08 PM
Oh god. I used to be on that crap. I stopped being able to function.

I miss my emotionality. Now nothing feels real. It's all gray now like taking away the color from a picture.

Quote from: iamconfused on August 16, 2013, 10:47:42 AM
That too. My family is very close-minded.. for example, if someone who was transsexual appeared on TV, they'd laugh at them. My gender dysphoria doesn't cause all of my depression but i would say that it causes most of it. I have sucidial thoughts a lot because of my dysphoria. I don't want to get out of the house or anything because of how uncomfortable I feel with the incongruence of my body and my brain. I do have a therapist (not a gender one) but I don't think i would be comfortable telling them about all of this.

You need to. If you can't tell THAT therapist, consider finding a new one you'll be comfortable with. The more you wait, the worse things are likely to get, and the more reluctant you'll be to asking for help, probably. Because depression, for me at least, can include the lack of a will to ask for help.

Also, you'd be surprised at how sometimes, issues like being trans suddenly become so much more real to people when it's close to them. It's scary, but if you're positive that they love you and wouldn't hate you for it, the consequences can hardly be all that terrible. Actually you could help them become more open-minded, in time. Pretty sure I've had that effect with much of my family. You don't have to jump right now. One step at a time. That's what the therapist (assuming they're competent in this) comes in. If the fear is too great, they can do the coming-out with you, explaining everything to your family. Having an "expert" tell them about it and explain why and how can tremendously help a lot of people understand and stop denying.

You shouldn't put things off because you're not comfortable or because you don't think you'll be supported, I think. It's scary, but it's likely that you'll have to change things yourself, whatever you do, sooner or later. Don't let yourself rot too much, ideally, before moving.

Oh how long I put back transitioning, convincing myself otherwise, thinking about my mother's reaction, thinking... and then I did it and it went so much better than I ever thought it would.

Quote from: Edge on August 16, 2013, 10:57:23 AM
Actually, the worst case scenario is being one of the percentage of people (yes, we do exist) for whom anti-depressants have the opposite effect, having a doctor who won't listen and keeps adding more no matter how much you beg him to stop, getting worse and worse over the course of a couple years, each drug you are given has the same horrifying effect (I am not exaggerating. A good person would not wish this on their worst enemy), people keep telling you to just try another or adjust the dose or that "meds don't make people worse," and all you can see stretching before you is more of this. Even after you stop, you have panic attacks for the next few years whenever someone mentions the drugs.
So sorry to correct you here, but I just wanted to point out that I exist and my experiences happened.

Quote from: vegie271 on August 16, 2013, 11:12:59 AM

Obviously you did not read my post -

Worst case scenario - gran mal seizures (I had to relearn the english language) - suicide from allergic reaction to the drug   - some of us do have serious reaction sto allopathic medications - there are actual warnings on the packagings - they come with these papers that you are supposed to read the thing folds out to a whole sheet that is about 3' by 3' and the print is 6 point. you need a magnifying glass

I'm sorry, I meant that as a worst case scenario assuming that medication works as intended and you don't get unlucky on that part. I didn't mean to underplay the consequences of things going critically wrong.