Susan's Place Transgender Resources

I am very new to this community and have been exploring what it is i might want for myself in the future and transitioning and all.  I know i will probably not start to transition this year but possibly next year. i may start to dress more boyish and such this year if i can, see if it fits for me. I don't date, I've never had a boyfriend or girlfriend, which also doesn't make it easier for me to figure out what i want but i will think on that later, what im going to say here is more realted to the workplace.

my high school might hire me to work as a sort of teachers assistant for my music teacher there. which is awesome, i would get a bit more than min wage and i only have to go in once a week and that would help a lot with money for college and paying for my therapist. ( right now my insurance covers it but as soon as this changes from anxiety to sexual realted it's gonna cost me ) not to mention i'd be working in a comfortable familiar environment.

only thing is, the high school is heavily populated by mormons. i have nothing against mormons or any religion, but alot of my mormon friends aren't accepting of the lgbt world. the teacher i will be working for is also mormon, hardcore mormon republican who is against most things considered liberal.

me and this teacher have an awesome relationship though, we're comfotable talking with one another and he considers me a friend,(thus the job offer) though he has no clue about this side of me.

i guess where i am getting at is: if i start to transition to male, gradually  ( im not rushing anything ) should i tell hi outright i got gender dysphoria and am going to be a guy someday or do i just let the changes happen gradually until he addreses it and calls me out on it. i know that is what i will do with the students, they don't need to know everything about me, im there to teach them how to music, but since he is my employer...

it's all real awkward, some advice would be nice...

I wouldn't tell him anything. You don't even know when/if you will start to transition, right? Even if you knew exactly when it would happen, I would still say don't tell him. It is not presently relevant to him in anyway.

I wouldn't tell him.  Even if he does start asking questions when you transition and stops employing you, at least you'll have some money under your belt.

Alright, yeah that makes sense. Its not his business.

I certainly wouldnt tell him from the start, it leaves you open to discrimination immediately and he may retract his job offer if he was so inclined. He may like you but if he is really against all this stuff (which they clearly dont even understand) that could change and you dont need to ruin things from the get go for no real reason. You can always tell him when things begin to happen. At least the job will be secured and if he did anything then it would be clear discrimination. If you change gradually some may not notice for awhile but some things you wont be able to hide (deeper voice etc) but if thats all going to be awhile off yet I wouldnt worry about telling him right now. Its only your business really. No one needs to know unless you decide to tell them. I certainly have no intention of outing myself to people who do not need to know but as Im at the annoying point right now where I dont pass (but have a legal male name and title) its obvious but as long as they dont treat me differently I dont care. In your situation around people who you know are not supportive of the issue in general (though whether their personal feelings towards you may make them think more about it) I wouldnt tell anyone until you need to. It isnt going to affect your ability to do your job in any way so really its not even relevant to him. As you said regarding the students you are there to teach them about that, not about your personal life. Its not normal for teachers to tell us about their private life so you certainly dont need to either. None of their business either as its not his

@Leo

yes, this makes sense. I suppose i was overthinking it,  I don't want to deliberately make it harder for myself, i guess i just wasn't thinking about what my consequences would be if i were just to out myself,i wasn't thinking like that. XD

Can I jump in as from the girls side of town.

I teach at University level and transitioned on the job so students saw me go from presenting as a guy to being me a very happy woman. I never explained anything. I do now have students coming to me and wanting to discuss sexual and gender issues, which I'm very happy to do.

I NEVER tell a student to out themselves to anyone. It is no ones business but theirs. Their respect for themselves is what is important.

You owe no explanation to anyone for being you. You have the same right as everyone in society to be yourself. I think the mormon religion is nuts but I don't ever say that to someone who follows it or believes it and I believe they have an absolute right to follow it if they so wish. Just as you have the right to be you.

There is nothing wrong in being trans*. We are totally normal people.

Hugs and Good Luck in the job!

Cindy

thanks cindy, motivation boost right there XD

When you examine the Mormon religion, it's so crazy that you really have to tread carefully around anyone that can believe half of it. I won't lie, I was terrified about the idea of one such moron being president of the US!

So yeah, definitely don't tell him. I say don't ever tell them, unless you no longer need a job. Doesn't mean you can't be yourself, I just wouldn't explicitly say specifics. Until people actually come out and say something, you'd be surprised at what others fail to notice.  In your case it's more likely that he'd be scared to say that you're looking or acting manly because he expects you'd take offense to that, like many would if they weren't trans. And in this day and age, men's clothing is, in large part, somewhat unisex these days so that goes in your favour. And maybe see if you can get kids to call you by your initial rather than name or Miss and that should help your sake too.

good idea, yeha i dress pretty casually already, i never wear dresses or "girl" clothes, very androgynous. so there would be no suprise if i dressed a little masculine. but one day, if or hen i do go on T he's gonna notice. but until im confronted with that problem i won't divulge myself, i don't need to. and the non mormon students already treat me as a man, my friends you see, they always rip jokes about my being masculine and whatnot, and i don't mind, for obvious reasons i take it as a compliment.