Community Conversation => Transgender talk => Topic started by: Lesley_Roberta on August 21, 2013, 07:58:58 AM Return to Full Version
Title: My actual list
Post by: Lesley_Roberta on August 21, 2013, 07:58:58 AM
Post by: Lesley_Roberta on August 21, 2013, 07:58:58 AM
I suppose a lot of us will have a list that might look similar.
My list, it really isn't what I suppose many will expect.
Transition ie remodeling the male form into a female form, it's not even in the top 3.
Oh it is definitely important to me, but, the waiting line has been formed a long while ago.
Number 1, has always been 'get a shop'. Not sure it is ever going to happen, and thanks to my health, not sure there will ever be a point to succeeding. Still, every time I make the list, there it is always camped out in number 1 spot.
Number 2, find myself living in a house. Doesn't need to be owned, rented is ok, but, I miss not having a basement, a backyard, and trees. No point in expecting this to ever happen on my income, and I am almost the age where people start day dreaming about moving to a place more suitable to retire in.
Number 3 oddly enough, I wish I had a train layout. Yes I know an odd thing to get in ahead of hair breasts and a vagina :)
Number 4 is all the stuff people likely would expect to be number 1 around here.
If I had 1,2 and 3, chances are I would still want number 4, but my life would be sufficiently content, I would not be in as much of a rush.
But I don't have 1,2 and 3, and as a result I have nothing to do for the most part with my day, to keep me from spending too much time thinking of number 4.
If I had to say a number 5 to round out the usual top 5, I suppose it would be to go back to being always stuck in a book, unable to notice all the things in the world that distract me, disturb me, and depress me.
Transitioning, ie the whole mess of converting one life into another, I suppose it bothers more than it might bother me, but, I have had 20 years of getting used to disability saying no I can't have.... So it has tempered my urgency to get around to getting a wig, so I can see if there is even any chance, so I can know if there is a point to thinking about finding a skirt that looks good on me. I have gotten too used to just assuming the answer will be no.
My list, it really isn't what I suppose many will expect.
Transition ie remodeling the male form into a female form, it's not even in the top 3.
Oh it is definitely important to me, but, the waiting line has been formed a long while ago.
Number 1, has always been 'get a shop'. Not sure it is ever going to happen, and thanks to my health, not sure there will ever be a point to succeeding. Still, every time I make the list, there it is always camped out in number 1 spot.
Number 2, find myself living in a house. Doesn't need to be owned, rented is ok, but, I miss not having a basement, a backyard, and trees. No point in expecting this to ever happen on my income, and I am almost the age where people start day dreaming about moving to a place more suitable to retire in.
Number 3 oddly enough, I wish I had a train layout. Yes I know an odd thing to get in ahead of hair breasts and a vagina :)
Number 4 is all the stuff people likely would expect to be number 1 around here.
If I had 1,2 and 3, chances are I would still want number 4, but my life would be sufficiently content, I would not be in as much of a rush.
But I don't have 1,2 and 3, and as a result I have nothing to do for the most part with my day, to keep me from spending too much time thinking of number 4.
If I had to say a number 5 to round out the usual top 5, I suppose it would be to go back to being always stuck in a book, unable to notice all the things in the world that distract me, disturb me, and depress me.
Transitioning, ie the whole mess of converting one life into another, I suppose it bothers more than it might bother me, but, I have had 20 years of getting used to disability saying no I can't have.... So it has tempered my urgency to get around to getting a wig, so I can see if there is even any chance, so I can know if there is a point to thinking about finding a skirt that looks good on me. I have gotten too used to just assuming the answer will be no.
Title: Re: My actual list
Post by: E-Brennan on August 21, 2013, 09:11:49 AM
Post by: E-Brennan on August 21, 2013, 09:11:49 AM
Interesting list, especially #3.
But more interesting is the idea that because you lack the first three things on the list, you've got too much time to think about transition. This is exactly how I feel - when I'm busy, my TG issues really are pushed to the side. They tend to surface when I'm at a loose end, and that's when I find myself obsessing over them.
I think that given similar things (in my case, a pretty little house to fix up, a job that was more challenging, and a hobby) I'd also find that transition would become a little less urgent. I doubt it would disappear, but I'd be too busy with day-to-day life to spend hours dreaming about boobs and long hair.
But more interesting is the idea that because you lack the first three things on the list, you've got too much time to think about transition. This is exactly how I feel - when I'm busy, my TG issues really are pushed to the side. They tend to surface when I'm at a loose end, and that's when I find myself obsessing over them.
I think that given similar things (in my case, a pretty little house to fix up, a job that was more challenging, and a hobby) I'd also find that transition would become a little less urgent. I doubt it would disappear, but I'd be too busy with day-to-day life to spend hours dreaming about boobs and long hair.