Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Hey everyone. Ive been depressed since i was 16. The majority of my teenage life has been spent battling depression, ocd and anxiety. And of course battling my gender confusion. One minute im ready to transition and take a leap of faith, the next minute ive talked myself out of it out of fear. I spend most of my time denying my transgender woman in me, i just run further into my masculine life of sports and fitness. But its gotten to a point where i feel i cant have normal relationships because i denyy transgender side. I am 100% attracted to women, im not even slightly attracted to guys. I feel as though i cant sexually satisfy a woman (i am a virgin), im an attractive, fit guy, but i just cant seem to get anywhere.
I had a close call today, my throat began to swell and i had trouble breathing, which scared me. It kinda gave me a wake up call to enjoy life to the fullest. But it turns out that there wasnt any chance of suffication (phew), but it still scared me a little. So ive realised that i need to transition.

Im 6 foot 2, 88 kgs and made of muscle. Is there any way i can ever look female with hormones? Knowing that i can pass would give me some motivation to go through with it. Eager to hear some replies :)

Can you pass as a cis female? No one can tell you that.

Will you look female? Of course. You are a woman. How ever you choose to show that to the world is feminine.

Will you be beautiful? Easy question that. All women are beautiful.

Thats really positive thanks :) . I think i could use alot more advice like that in so many areas of my life hahaha

Looking like a woman is a bit more than just taking pills, though. There's a lot of effort involved, even for cis-women. They don't just wake up beautiful, you know.  ;)

Your height isn't an issue, lots of women are tall (my ex was 6' 3", for example). Neither is your weight (~194 lbs).

Your build, your voice, your face and neck (adam's apple in particular), hips (or lack thereof), behaviors and more are all part of the package of feminization.

You will just have to take a leap of faith, and hope for the best. It really boils down to the worst case: if you were to be unpassable as a woman, would you be happier like that, or as an unhappy man?

No one can say for sure how attractive you'll be, or won't be...but either way *must* be better than being male, or else transitioning probably isn't worth the effort. Better to take therapy to learn how to deal with being unhappy with your male body, than to take the hard road to being a woman.

My advice? Don't live in fear. You only have one life, do what is important to you, and no one else.

:)

Quote from: Beth Andrea on August 26, 2013, 07:26:39 PM
Looking like a woman is a bit more than just taking pills, though. There's a lot of effort involved, even for cis-women. They don't just wake up beautiful, you know.  ;)

Your height isn't an issue, lots of women are tall (my ex was 6' 3", for example). Neither is your weight (~194 lbs).

Your build, your voice, your face and neck (adam's apple in particular), hips (or lack thereof), behaviors and more are all part of the package of feminization.

You will just have to take a leap of faith, and hope for the best. It really boils down to the worst case: if you were to be unpassable as a woman, would you be happier like that, or as an unhappy man?

No one can say for sure how attractive you'll be, or won't be...but either way *must* be better than being male, or else transitioning probably isn't worth the effort. Better to take therapy to learn how to deal with being unhappy with your male body, than to take the hard road to being a woman.

My advice? Don't live in fear. You only have one life, do what is important to you, and no one else.

:)

Well said Beth

As the old saying goes 90% of passing is attitude. Back in my 20's when I experimented with transition I had next to no self-esteem and self confidence. I was 6 ft tall in an age when the average height of guys was 5'9 and women far shorter. I was a target most of my life until then and learned the painful lessons that standing out was not a good thing.

A few years ago, thanks to some major attitude adjustments I realized my life long dream of being seen as and accepted as a woman. Just an average woman like all those you see in real life like on the check out lines in the grocery stores. I am not greedy, I'll gladly take that.

My shoulders are fairly wide, my feet are huge. I can't live like this anymore, the depression has become too much, i think i just need to take the leap of faith.
Well at the moment i cannot act girly around anyone, im just way too embarrassed in front of my family and friends :/
I honestly would be happy to be just an average woman, i can't even look at women without feeling sadness and pain

Of course you can!

As the others have said passing is 90% attitude.

Do I pass, Am I good looking?

Well I know for certain that I have a male voice that gives me away, I've been known as a guy in my job for 30+ years, no one uses male pronouns, guys open doors for me, my femal colleagues regard me as female.

Do I pass?

Well yesterday I gave a lecture to 300 students, with my male voice, short skirt, tight blouse and knee high heeled boots. No one laughed no one giggled, and guys were perving at me.

Can you pass - of course you can, it's attitude, dress sense, deportment and confidence. Sit in a large shopping mall and look at tall the woman critically. How many are gorgeous?

Very few, most of us are just plain old female.

I hope to god i can pass and that transition goes well for me. I see how happy women in my life are and i'm very envious. I just want a regular female life, and by god i'm going to do everything in my power to get it

Quote from: suzifrommd on August 26, 2013, 04:57:37 PM
Will you be beautiful? Easy question that. All women are beautiful.

I totally agree with this. Unfortunately, most women don't seem to understand it.

What does it take for a woman to feel beautiful?

That's a good question. What does it take for someone to allow all of societies standards and expectations to fade away, and reveal their inner beauty?

Listen to Bryan Adams: Have you ever loved a woman. I'd post the clip but my connection is out. Says it all :-*

Not a bad song, really does provide some perspective on the matter

There's an unpassable TS in my town.She lives in a war zone,she's overweight with thin greying hair and a growly voice from smoking.She drives a ratty old Ford with odd coloured panels and doors that she bought for next to nothing a few years ago and has had the same boyfriend for 5 years and is always cheery,polite and respectful.She is accepted as a woman and I don't know a single person who has a bad word for her.Beauty and passability come from within.
I'm 6' 1 and a half,weigh 250 pounds have size 11 feet,big hands like a navvy and a voice like Lemmy from Motorhead.I probably don't pass,I look OK though I have a hairless face and my own long blonde hair (OK the colour is from a bottle!) and no Adam's apple and am well developed "up top"I've worked with the public as a bus driver for 10 years and now as a hotel manageress/land lady/ bar maid in the UKs busiest sea side resort and am accepted. I've been to many school reunions and punk/metal/rock festivals and see the same people I knew from my classic car and bike days Yes it can be done so don't give up before you start.

This is an awesome thread for those hostile supporters who don't want you to go through with it. How many times did you get "you wouldn't look good as a woman" before you started?

Quote from: kabit on August 27, 2013, 06:29:36 AM
This is an awesome thread for those hostile supporters who don't want you to go through with it. How many times did you get "you wouldn't look good as a woman" before you started?

I heard "you'll never pass as a woman" at least forty times a day.

From myself.

I couldn't imagine I'd have the skill to transform myself into someone who appears totally female to the casual observer.

That was only a few months ago. It hasn't taken much, but I pass pretty much wherever I go and I get a fair amount of attention from gentlemen who don't know my past.

I's good to talk to people who have gone through the same things i have, it honestly just makes things a lot easier, thank you so much ladies

Have not seen Your picture, is hard to tell about Your facial features. Your height - I have seen tall and attractive women - they just radiate confidence. Besides, it is possible to get 1-2 inches shorter while during the HRT (will take a couple of years though, but the effect is quite popular). Weight? 88 kg? With proper diet even without the HRT You should get down to 80 kg and then the rest is just a matter of time. I was around 80 kg when I started to loose my weight (and it was loooong before I started hormones). I got down to 74 when I started the HRT and I am now at 69 kg. Given my height (175 cm) I am looking at somewhere between 62-65 as my optimum weight. I was wearing L size clothing – now all that stuff is being handed over to my friends, because I am in S/M range now. Oh, and I dropped about an 1,5 inch from my shoulders only by loosing weight. I was quite an ugly fecker before – and now I look reasonably androgynous and mildly attractive (at least I hope so). All my bulk was mostly made of muscles and fat (I was able to lift 34 kg dumbell single-handed ten times when I was 20, and do 18-20 pull-ups so You can get the idea). Oh, yeah, one of my hobbies was historical reenactment – its when You don ~ 15-20 kg of plate armor on top of chainmail and then try to bash buggers (who weight under 100 kg without armor) with steel swords... Sounds feminine, huh?  Tell me about denial...  So this all goes down is about attitude and how we perceive ourselves and are we willing to embrace our true selves or rather to uphold the fictional alter ego, who – does not matter how good and nice might HE be, is not the true SHE-me.

Quote from: Cindy on August 27, 2013, 04:58:42 AM
Listen to Bryan Adams: Have you ever loved a woman.

Do I have too?

Quote
I'd post the clip but my connection is out.

Yay! :-P (Sorry Cindi - just kidding)

OK - by way of advice...

No person is found attractive by everybody and no person is found unattractive by everyone.  Nobody can really tell you the ratio of people who will think you are attractive to those who don't, but you don't need this anyway. You will want a good support network and maybe someone to squeeze and you only need  1 person for that! What does it matter so long as you have people around you who you love and can depend on?

x

Oh, yeah, and I wanted to add that if You want to be model-beautiful, then most probably, no, You wont be. But You might have reasonable chances for being pretty and attractive :). Besides, how often do You see stunning and gorgeous women and how much of their beauty is actually make-up?

I can't find the option to upload a photo, could somebody lend me a hand? Cheers :)

Quote from: Tidal_Wave on August 27, 2013, 09:08:33 AM
I can't find the option to upload a photo, could somebody lend me a hand? Cheers :)

are you talking avatar? in that case, you have to wait til you have 15 posts. If you are talking posting one in a post, you need a pic hosting site like photobucket and then link it or use the img tag.

Ok, i don't know why we can't just attach it to the post but eh, ill get on it then, thanks :)

Quote from: Tidal_Wave on August 27, 2013, 09:26:54 AM
Ok, i don't know why we can't just attach it to the post but eh, ill get on it then, thanks :)

Server space, etc..

Its not hard to set up a free account on photobucket, then upload there and then post it here with the insert image thingy.

imgur is good too. You don't need an account, though you can make one to save your photos together.

http://imgur.com/2W4d6yG, thanks ladies. i'm the dude on the left, the guy on the right is my best friend

Hrt should do wonders for you without much worry at all.

Thanks :D my mum and my sister think id make an ugly girl, time to prove them wrong :D

Quote from: Tidal_Wave on August 27, 2013, 10:22:18 AM
Thanks :D my mum and my sister think id make an ugly girl, time to prove them wrong :D

You look like you could pass with little effort to me... not that I have much experience. I have permanent 5 o'clock shadow... going to make a groupon hair removal appointment asap, I think :D

I think nearly every MAAB, presenting as a man, would come across as "not able to pass" to an outsider.

Well this has certainly brightened my day :)
Im not hairy in the face at all thank god, despite being less than 2 weeks away from 19

Nice jaw and chin. Very OK-ish hairline as much as I can see. Forehead looks aaaalright - I cant understand if You have some brow ridge line there or not, or what I am seeing there are facial muscles (which should go away with the HRT). Nose is quite neutral too. You probably wont make for a beauty contest but You might pass as a pretty, confident athletic girl - You can always say that You are into competitive swimming :).

Thanks :) . I actually used to be a competitive swimmer haha. Im glad to know that this could go well for me :)

You have age on your side,and you look good.As a rule good looking guys generally make good looking girls.

Quote from: Tidal_Wave on August 27, 2013, 11:09:13 AM
Thanks :) . I actually used to be a competitive swimmer haha. Im glad to know that this could go well for me :)

Looking at Your shoulders I kinda suspected that, lol. Besides, if You will make such claim as a female - You should be perfectly able to back Your words up then ;).

Hahaha thats a good point. I still want to keep my physical fitness throughout transition, swimming is a great way to do that :D

Quote from: Tidal_Wave on August 27, 2013, 03:11:58 AM
My shoulders are fairly wide, my feet are huge. I can't live like this anymore, the depression has become too much, i think i just need to take the leap of faith.
Well at the moment i cannot act girly around anyone, im just way too embarrassed in front of my family and friends :/
I honestly would be happy to be just an average woman, i can't even look at women without feeling sadness and pain

Really don't let others enforce entirely artificial gender roles on you.  Some genetic girls don't act "girly."  Some genetic guys don't act macho.

Just be yourself.

Quote from: Tidal_Wave on August 27, 2013, 11:09:13 AM
Thanks :) . I actually used to be a competitive swimmer haha. Im glad to know that this could go well for me :)

I find wide-shouldered female swimmers to be very attractive.

Yeah i have female friends who arent very girly, they kinda act as role models for me.
Yeah stephanie rice is amazing haha, although not too broad shouldered

Missy Franklin

(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.teenvogue.com%2Fimages%2Fbeauty%2F2012-10%2Fmissy-franklin-intro.jpg&hash=69794ff2b8ae4f6ce222011d88fc87fcab94a45d)

Tall too ... 6'1"

Wow she can really pull of a short skirt! I envy her haha

I agree with everyone here too :) You'll look great. And true about good looking boys making good looking girls and vice versa  ;) And you're definitely good looking  :icon_chuckel: *blushes* lol

Thanks ladies :D im really excited to transition now :p