Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Okay so, my name is Emma. I am 19 years old and currently I am well I am a Female Trapped in a males body. I do not know much about this site however I have been looking around a lot on the site and there is a lot of help here I feel so much better just looking at some of the things. I felt so good that I announced it to my family that I wanted to release my inner self at first they were shocked but that is to be expected and then they came around to it.

Before I was never able to feel conferrable shaving all my hair (not my head hair though) and after telling my family I felt sooooo good I shaved all of it (kept my head hair :P) and just that alone made me feel sooooo goooddd all but the cuts :.( those hurt.

So I guess other then introducing my self I can ask some questions that I really need your help with all of you.

1. How do I start my transition.
2. I am already conferrable wearing female cloths, and stuffing a braw however thats just walking around my house how do I go out into the world like that??
3. My hair is like a mans hair cut what is a fast way to grow my hair out??
4. What do I need to know other then all the common risk that may be seen during my transition.
5. Any tips??

-Emma♥

First, welcome to Susan's.

There are gender counselors who can help you work through a lot of that and be there for when the road gets rough. And it will get rough. This counselor can write a letter for you to get hormones and change your DL in many states.

Hair grows at it's own pace, you can style it to look more flattering to your face in the mean time. A hair dresser or some of the Ladies here might know.

Quote from: LordKAT on September 01, 2013, 02:12:30 PM
First, welcome to Susan's.

There are gender counselors who can help you work through a lot of that and be there for when the road gets rough. And it will get rough. This counselor can write a letter for you to get hormones and change your DL in many states.

Hair grows at it's own pace, you can style it to look more flattering to your face in the mean time. A hair dresser or some of the Ladies here might know.

Thanks for the fast reply :D, so would I just google "Gender Counselor" or? Because I live close to a Endocrinologist could I just call them and tell them I want to start the process or?

Welcome aboard Emma,

You will soon hear from our superb moderators about using this place to help yourself with your questions.
You have already started transition in a major way.  Many times people will ask about coming out and one question we hear is "who was the hardest person to come out to?"
A frequent answer is "myself."  BTW it seems to me you may have loosed that leg hold on your trap?
As an old thang it is very encouraging to me that young people like you are finding the resources you need to help you in this journey.  It is a big deal and as LordKAT notes it is going to be rough some times.  You may see that there is a "search" opportunity here and it is amazing what a treasure trove there is of peoples lives revealed for you to share and perhaps give you a wider look at transgender.
And yes, you certainly are an adult consumer that can make that call to responsibly take charge of your personal health care.
What i need to add is that most of us live in a community where "standards" require some counseling and a letter from a therapist prior to getting medication.  It is a worthwhile process and most of us do benefit from discussing our concerns with an objective and experienced gender therapist.

Welcome, welcome!!

A gender therapist or another therapist who has dealt with trans* issues is usually a good starting place since we end up having to do a lot of our own leg work, and having a therapist makes that whole process much more efficient and comfy.

you should also download and acquaint yourself with the WPATH (World Professional Association for Transgender Health) Standards of Care v7 which you can find on the interwebz. It's a good document to have on hand since it is the source that most healthcare providers follow when helping trans* people. By the SOC a letter from a therapist/counselor is not required and you can begin transition through informed consent, though it's usually good to have the letter even if you don't need it.

As for going out dressed like you feel, that just good ol'fashion courage and confidence. If your hair is like super short your just going to have to wait to grow it out, however if it's long enough you may be able to get it trimmed and textured into a more femme look.

Tips? Have fun and love yourself!  :eusa_dance:

Quote from: Tessa James on September 01, 2013, 02:28:58 PM
Welcome aboard Emma,

You will soon hear from our superb moderators about using this place to help yourself with your questions.
You have already started transition in a major way.  Many times people will ask about coming out and one question we hear is "who was the hardest person to come out to?"
A frequent answer is "myself."  BTW it seems to me you may have loosed that leg hold on your trap?
As an old thang it is very encouraging to me that young people like you are finding the resources you need to help you in this journey.  It is a big deal and as LordKAT notes it is going to be rough some times.  You may see that there is a "search" opportunity here and it is amazing what a treasure trove there is of peoples lives revealed for you to share and perhaps give you a wider look at transgender.
And yes, you certainly are an adult consumer that can make that call to responsibly take charge of your personal health care.
What i need to add is that most of us live in a community where "standards" require some counseling and a letter from a therapist prior to getting medication.  It is a worthwhile process and most of us do benefit from discussing our concerns with an objective and experienced gender therapist.

It is so inspiring to read all of this, how long do you have to talk to one for??

Quote from: EmmaEms on September 01, 2013, 02:47:38 PM
It is so inspiring to read all of this, how long do you have to talk to one for??

As long as it takes really for them to be sure that you are in fact gender dysphoric and are certain and prepared for hrt and/or srs. I could a few months or even just a few sessions.

Quote from: EmmaEms on September 01, 2013, 02:23:07 PM
Because I live close to a Endocrinologist could I just call them and tell them I want to start the process or?

You could do that if this endo has worked with other trans* people before and is comfortable going ahead with getting you started. And then there is also the option of informed consent depending on where you live.

All of us have a completely unique life path and much depends on your particular needs and strengths.  You can read about people here that may never transition and some who have that damn the torpedoes full steam ahead abandon.  Hey movie stars and other celebs keep their therapists on speed dial!  But seriously if it is a shock to your family you may just find that you will shock yourself sometime too.  Having a therapist to bounce things off first before i sprung it on the world was helpful to me.
Walking into the world as Emma is going to take a little practice so you do not trip and fall from those new heels?  I have been surprised along the way about how much of an education this is for me.
Get ready for a way cool ride.

Regarding the hair:  I heard biotin works very well for growing out hair faster and stronger. 

Hi Emma, :icon_wave:

Welcome to our little family. Over 7330. That would be one heck of a family reunion.

Feel free to post your successes/failures, Hopes/dreams.  Ask questions and seek answers. Give and receive advice.

But remember we are family here, your family now. And it is always nice to have another sister. (https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fsmileys.on-my-web.com%2Frepository%2FAnimals%2Fferret-3.gif&hash=f49e2f86761323f2abd9c33941920389dbb3b10f)

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Janet  )O(

Quote from: Ms. OBrien CVT on September 01, 2013, 03:56:33 PM
Hi Emma, :icon_wave:

Welcome to our little family. Over 7330. That would be one heck of a family reunion.

Feel free to post your successes/failures, Hopes/dreams.  Ask questions and seek answers. Give and receive advice.

But remember we are family here, your family now. And it is always nice to have another sister. (https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fsmileys.on-my-web.com%2Frepository%2FAnimals%2Fferret-3.gif&hash=f49e2f86761323f2abd9c33941920389dbb3b10f)

And be sure to check out these links ( MUST READS ) (https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fsmileys.on-my-web.com%2Frepository%2FAnimals%2Fferret-8.gif&hash=d9498942f8bbb4bf3ad29af75944ea5e1135c6fa)

• Site Terms of Service and rules to live by  (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,2.0.html)
  
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Janet  )O(

Everyone thank you sooo much for posting, I just feel more and more at home now and at ease just with my own self. Originally when I told my family like I said they were shocked and I still felt like I had to hide it now I am just so ready to face it and take the next step :D

My only fear is what if I am not good enough for everyone, is it just that I stay true to myself I be me? Or am I like obligated to be who they want me to be they support me but what if I am not the girl who they want me to be but I am the girl I want to be is that okay?

So many questions, sooo sooo many :D

Quote from: EmmaEms on September 01, 2013, 04:45:54 PM
Everyone thank you sooo much for posting, I just feel more and more at home now and at ease just with my own self. Originally when I told my family like I said they were shocked and I still felt like I had to hide it now I am just so ready to face it and take the next step :D

My only fear is what if I am not good enough for everyone, is it just that I stay true to myself I be me? Or am I like obligated to be who they want me to be they support me but what if I am not the girl who they want me to be but I am the girl I want to be is that okay?

So many questions, sooo sooo many :D

And very good questions too.  Yes, being true to yourself will always be important.  And the fear you speak of is pretty common around here.  We worry about passing and our looks being good enough.  But is that what you mean?  Your vision of yourself and finding what fits as your authentic self is emotional work and it is always good to have support from family and friends.  But do you mean that they support you financially?   People can have all kinds of expectations of you but what do you expect of yourself?

Hi Emma,
From a sunny South Australia!

Yes all the replies are excellent asking out a gender therapist is useful as should be used to guiding people through this journey. Good ones can help with various law issue like legal name change etc.

As for being who you are, I think we, of all people need to understand ourselves and be true to our selves.
Confidence comes from being secure in your skin and happy being you. Confidence is the big issue and once you have that it doesn't matter what others think.

Oh it will be useful to say what country you are in as the treatment and laws vary so much

Hugs and welcome

everybody worries about being "good enough" for someone else. even cis people do this. part of finding happiness in your life is to confront this fear and be yourself for better or worse. this way you will find friends who like you for who you are (there are people who will like the real you, but they might not be the same as those who like the mask you've been wearing).

family will either hate the changes in you because they think they have a right to decide what you do in your life, or they will come around to appreciate how much happier and more confident you become with the changes. different family members will probably have different reactions, but no matter what, you should remember that even family should have to earn your respect if they want it. don't let anyone make you feel like you're less worth than someone else (even if it's your other fake self), because you aren't.

and then for treatment... don't expect it to happen too soon. a lot depends on where you live and what doctors you can consult, some places it can take over a year to get anywhere. but you will get there eventually, so don't let a few pebbles in the road discourage you if you happen to stumble over some. (better to be realistic about it, so you can be happy if you're lucky enough to get it faster rather than depressed that you can't get it as fast as you thought you could. how i envy those lucky ones, i really do hope you turn out to be one of them).

Hi Emma, and congratulations on being honest about who you really are.  As others have said it does take time, and talking to a counselor is a very good idea.

One question we all have is "How should I dress to look reasonable?" and a good general answer is look at other women of about your age and try to remember how they dress in different social settings.  You will find your own style with time, but that's a good start.  Wearing clothes appropriate to your age is important, and seems to be an area where t-girls often get it badly wrong.

Quote from: MaryXYX on September 02, 2013, 04:59:14 AM
Hi Emma, and congratulations on being honest about who you really are.  As others have said it does take time, and talking to a counselor is a very good idea.

One question we all have is "How should I dress to look reasonable?" and a good general answer is look at other women of about your age and try to remember how they dress in different social settings.  You will find your own style with time, but that's a good start.  Wearing clothes appropriate to your age is important, and seems to be an area where t-girls often get it badly wrong.

For me, I think this probably has to do with feeling like I am younger than I really am as a woman.  I never got to be a teenage girl, luckily I am still under 30 and pretty young looking.  I can see why it would be harder for someone transitioning at a later age and feeling like you missed out on dressing like you are under 40.  You are just becoming a woman so its easy to want to try to feel young again but unfortunately it can make you stick out in a crowd and that's not what most of us want.

All of these replies are heart warming, I have known for a long time that I was trapped in the wrong vessel and broadcasting it out no matter in what form, it helps. :D Thanks everyone.

I am gonna start with therapy and what not probably tomorrow :D

Quote from: Alice Danielle on September 02, 2013, 05:44:41 AM
For me, I think this probably has to do with feeling like I am younger than I really am as a woman.  I never got to be a teenage girl, luckily I am still under 30 and pretty young looking.  I can see why it would be harder for someone transitioning at a later age and feeling like you missed out on dressing like you are under 40.  You are just becoming a woman so its easy to want to try to feel young again but unfortunately it can make you stick out in a crowd and that's not what most of us want.

have you seen barbie...? i don't dare ask how old she is.

it's generally ok to wear anything that looks good on you. women under 30 (it's an approximate) can often wear anything they want (unless they have children, wouldn't want to embarrass them), older than that it gets more important to think twice before wearing typical clothing for teenagers. still, no need to wear something that makes you look older than you are, better to choose something tasteful that makes you look younger.

Welcome emma, read, read, read some more, when you get tired, rest a bit then come back and read some more heheh.

Susan's place should keep you busy for several days.

As you mention being MTF I suggest checking out that forum too as it is more focused for you. But hey look in on the sections like Beauty etc lots of great advice here.

You will be pleased to see how many of you is here :)

You are not alone.

Quote from: Lesley_Roberta on September 02, 2013, 01:12:52 PM
Welcome emma, read, read, read some more, when you get tired, rest a bit then come back and read some more heheh.

Susan's place should keep you busy for several days.

As you mention being MTF I suggest checking out that forum too as it is more focused for you. But hey look in on the sections like Beauty etc lots of great advice here.

You will be pleased to see how many of you is here :)

You are not alone.

:D Everyday I just want to jump into it and I can't because I have to wait to start the program and everything. I live in Ann Arbor, MI is there anyplace I can go??? Does anyone know if there is any therapy required to start? Is there any foundations out there for support with like money?

I feel so much better talking and speaking about this instead of holding it in. Thank you everyone truly thank you.