Susan's Place Transgender Resources

So I've been thinking today, is being trans such a horrible struggle? I don't really think so. To me it's an adventure. You see, an adventure doesn't have to always be some amazing cool escapade, there's hard times in adventures, and good times as well. There's always small victories along the path that'll eventually lead to the grand finale of the adventure. At least that's the way I see it.

Big hug! Life IS what we make of it, no question about that. I like your attitude. Hugs, Devlyn

It is a pretty epic adventure, but the leveling system is too subtle.  Also, every epic quest needs a princess, a chest, and some phat loot.*

Note: for some, this adventure may contain a princess, a chest, and fat loot.

For me it was a struggle up to the point of starting my transition. Now it's an adventure, and I'm loving every minute of it.

I agree in spirit. It's exciting in a way, discovering yourself and progressing along the path to femininity or masculinity.

On the other hand, society is cruel. Every adventure has an element of loss and dispair, but it seems uncaring to think of those who don't make it as failed adventurers. It is a struggle to be who you're meant to be in the face of overwhelming adversity.

Quote from: Bethany Dawn on September 04, 2013, 06:04:53 PM
For me it was a struggle up to the point of starting my transition. Now it's an adventure, and I'm loving every minute of it.

Bingo!!1!

+1, struggle until I realized what was happening, adventure ever since!

It's a little of both. Okay a lot of both.  :D
But so worth it so far.

Quote from: Horizon on September 04, 2013, 06:01:52 PM
It is a pretty epic adventure, but the leveling system is too subtle.  Also, every epic quest needs a princess, a chest, and some phat loot.*

Note: for some, this adventure may contain a princess, a chest, and fat loot.

The epic quest here is to become a princess :)

Quote from: -Emily- on September 04, 2013, 06:25:21 PM
The epic quest here is to become a princess :)

I'd say no plumber needed.... but you know it sure would be nice to have someone reroute the plumbing and do a little carpentry on the rest of me as well.  :D

Quote from: Christine167 on September 04, 2013, 06:28:02 PM
I'd say no plumber needed.... but you know it sure would be nice to have someone reroute the plumbing and do a little carpentry on the rest of me as well.  :D

You dont wanna be a princess? ;)

Quote from: -Emily- on September 04, 2013, 06:34:16 PM
You dont wanna be a princess? ;)

I'll take lady in waiting if they can do something about this bit of pipe sticking out between my legs.  ;)

Off topic, but I love the new avatar, Christine! Hugs, Devlyn

Quote from: Devlyn Marie on September 04, 2013, 06:37:06 PM
Off topic, but I love the new avatar, Christine! Hugs, Devlyn

And now my adventure is feeling "squishy" with a side of blushing.  :)

Quote from: Bethany Dawn on September 04, 2013, 06:04:53 PM
For me it was a struggle up to the point of starting my transition. Now it's an adventure, and I'm loving every minute of it.

Precicely. Even though I have to "pretend" most of the time, every time I get to be myself I treasure and explore and just have fun.  Besides that I figured there's two ways we can look at this. One, you can be miserable and mope around. Two, you can treasure those precious moments and enjoy the little things through your adventure. I'm slowly figuring out that you're only as miserable as you allow yourself to be. No matter how stressful or tiring things get there's never a legitimate reason to feel miserable over it (other than truly bad occasions like loss in the family etc.).

Quote from: Jasriella on September 04, 2013, 05:53:00 PM
So I've been thinking today, is being trans such a horrible struggle? I don't really think so. To me it's an adventure. You see, an adventure doesn't have to always be some amazing cool escapade, there's hard times in adventures, and good times as well. There's always small victories along the path that'll eventually lead to the grand finale of the adventure. At least that's the way I see it.

Life itself is meant to be a struggle.  The struggle is how the species is kept alive.  In Nature it is cope and adapt, or perish.  Those who can deal with the uncertainties, and overcome adversity have the competitive advantage.

If you are not struggling, you are not growing.  Solzhenitsyn noted that it is the struggle that makes us strong.
The adventure comes from the attitude of those who struggle.  I am reminded of those who left their homes, families, and fortunes to travel to, explore, and settle new lands.  They knew it would not be easy, but they tackled the challenge with a sense of adventure and a quest for improving their lot.

If we move into discovering who we really are, with trepidation, we stand a good chance of losing who we are.  It is something I have to remind my self about constantly.  Good enough is not good enough.

Well sure, being transgender is both and more.  I also agree with Bethany Dawn and Beth Andrea that the adventurous part of being transgender is transition.."..and loving every minute of it."  For me the horrible part was about not understanding and then denying myself for too long. 

Kia Ora J,

Life is what you make it ! "If one changes the way they look at things-the things they look at change !"

It sounds like you have found the formula/key...So go with the flow and enjoy it...



Metta Zenda :)

See it's what I've come to realize is that the longer you deny yourself....well yourself..... The more it seems to be a struggle. It shouldn't be that way. Yeah nature oops'd and I got stuck with the wrong chromosomes at conception, and even if there wasn't a way to match mind and body, it wouldn't stop me from trying to be me. I finally got to that point a few years ago that I was going to do this and be a girl after I'm out of the military. Unfortunately I didn't come to that conclusion sooner but I will say the experience the military has given me and the skills I have now I can't say I totally regret enlisting. It's just all one big adventure.

Somewhat off topic, my biggest fear is being trapped, stuck in a rut, and not being able to move forward with my life. I get that feeling kinda often and there's times I have cried over the feeling of being totally helpless especially when a week ago it was confirmed by another member that I could get discharged if I'm found out. What's worse is to everyone around me on a daily basis, I can't cry in front of them. I'm supposed to be a tough guy and tough guys don't cry.

Anyway.... Yeah I'm going to have struggles in my adventure, but we do have something that CIS women don't, what most CIS women take for granted. We can truly appreciate and love the little things, something so sime as buying my first bra. When I got home and put it on I was so proud of myself and so giddy I wore it every day for a week and then bought more. It was my first moment of being feminine, all by myself, and the most joy I ever felt besides holding my daughter when she was born.

I'm starting to think that if for some reason, if I had a past life as a female and when I died I wanted to truly experience life as a male, that I don't regret that decision. I can't say if I have the choice ill ever do it again, but this life has been one hell of an adventure so far and I'm starting to appreciate more the little things as I wait for my enlistment to end. I haven't been on my antidepressant medication for a month and I'm certain I won't need it anymore.

Quote from: Kuan Yin on September 04, 2013, 11:57:44 PM
Kia Ora J,

Life is what you make it ! "If one changes the way they look at things-the things they look at change !"

It sounds like you have found the formula/key...So go with the flow and enjoy it...



Metta Zenda :)

I'm quite unfamiliar with most of everybody here, bu would I be wrong in guessing you follow the teachings of Buddha?

Quote from: Jasriella on September 05, 2013, 12:03:05 AM
See it's what I've come to realize is that the longer you deny yourself....well yourself..... The more it seems to be a struggle. It shouldn't be that way. Yeah nature oops'd and I got stuck with the wrong chromosomes at conception, and even if there wasn't a way to match mind and body, it wouldn't stop me from trying to be me. I finally got to that point a few years ago that I was going to do this and be a girl after I'm out of the military. Unfortunately I didn't come to that conclusion sooner but I will say the experience the military has given me and the skills I have now I can't say I totally regret enlisting. It's just all one big adventure.
I'm supposed to be a tough guy and tough guys don't cry.

Anyway.... Yeah I'm going to have struggles in my adventure, but we do have something that CIS women don't, what most CIS women take for granted. We can truly appreciate and love the little things, something so sime as buying my first bra. When I got home and put it on I was so proud of myself and so giddy I wore it every day for a week and then bought more. It was my first moment of being feminine, all by myself, and the most joy I ever felt besides holding my daughter when she was born.





I'm starting to think that if for some reason, if I had a past life as a female and when I died I wanted to truly experience life as a male, that I don't regret that decision. I can't say if I have the choice ill ever do it again, but this life has been one hell of an adventure so far and I'm starting to appreciate more the little things as I wait for my enlistment to end. I haven't been on my antidepressant medication for a month and I'm certain I won't need it anymore.
I'm quite unfamiliar with most of everybody here, bu would I be wrong in guessing you follow the teachings of Buddha?

Jasriella I appreciate your upbeat perspective and completely identified with your "first bra" experience.  Yes giddy and more.  And yes indeed, there is nothing like being denied to make the "the little things" very special.  I hug myself often just putting on my new clothes.  The military was tough for me too but please do not buy into that tough guys don't cry stuff.  I saw tough guys in Vietnam piss their pants and cry for their moms.  Being human comes with tears included :)

Every adventure is a struggle. Wouldn't be much fun if Frodo just waltzed on into Mordor and dropped the ring in now would it?

I don't know how much of a struggle it's been for me. In fact it seems really simple and my life is a million times better. The struggle was before. Now it's more like a dream and I hope no one pinches me.

Struggle and pain of an emotional and physical nature. The adventurous part is seeing good changes take place as part of getting through the struggles.  8)

Quote from: Jasriella on September 05, 2013, 12:03:05 AM

I'm quite unfamiliar with most of everybody here, bu would I be wrong in guessing you follow the teachings of Buddha?

Kia Ora J,

Let's just say I live it, breath it, sleep it... ;) ;D

If one continually 'thinks' life is a struggle( consciously projecting anxious thoughts)-then sure enough it will be a struggle!  "If you fear you shall suffer-you already suffer what you fear !"...

Metta Zenda :)

I'd be lying if I said I agree. To me, most things are a competition and usually it's not an easy one either. That's why I think of it more as a struggle. To me, it's serious and there are many risks involved as well as a ton of money at stake. I feel I have to win and get what I want out of it. There are certain things that I would have trouble living with. For example, if I got stuck in transition due to running out of money, certain close friends or relatives hated me for it, I could never pass, etc. I would have a really rough time. I'm glad some can think of it as an adventure but I lack that feeling of security to think of it as something like that. :(

I just can't wait to start mine! :) I'm really excited thinking about it!

im loving every minute of it but at the same times its been one hell of a struggle.  most financial assistance programs in my area are run by churches and when they notice my gender says M  on my ID I get shown the door.

Struggle = 51 years,
Risk = wife, job, child, siblings, me
Need = 100%

Why, to save what is at risk.

I would not say an adventure but my struggle is changing and I am embracing and liking me for who I am and not is spite of me.

Adventure would be nice, perhaps in the future.

Quote from: Cynthia Michelle on September 07, 2013, 07:03:40 AM
Struggle = 51 years,
Risk = wife, job, child, siblings, me
Need = 100%

Why, to save what is at risk.

I would not say an adventure but my struggle is changing and I am embracing and liking me for who I am and not is spite of me.

Adventure would be nice, perhaps in the future.

That breaks it down well for me too. It's an adventure where the difficult, climactic trial comes at the beginning, not near the end... so yes, it's a struggle that may turn into an adventure... with luck.

And it seems like absolutely nobody understands the "Need = 100%" part. My wife is still saying I chose this path and I could choose to not go down it... um, nope. Neither thing is true.

Struggle. It's like every time I take a step forward, I take two steps back.

To me life in general is an adventure. There are always ups and downs, little struggels. compleat with failures and sucsesses alike. In the transition, its just another path in this grand life adventure that i am on :)

Just saw this thread, an interesting one.

I was so so terrified. I had nothing to gain, everything to lose.

Once I took the first step the Warrior Princess came out.

Adventure? Total.
Fun? Oh yes.

Difficult? I hesitate saying in knowing how some of us struggle but compared to his life, or his attempt at it, my life could be a Taylor Swift song.

Sing the sad bit but get ready for the big finale.

I have never ever ever been so happy.

Regrets? Get real!

Im finding it a huge struggle at the moment!!!
Mainly because im still in the mindset that i need to keep it all to myself otherwise people will disown me! and the need to come, out and be me is getting more and more!!!!

Im seeing a therapist now though so hopefully she will help me come out and fully accept my trans feelings, and then the struggle can start to turn into an adventure!!! :D

x

Zoe one of the most succinct bits of advice I have heard is:  Secrets get toxic over time.  I magnified and compounded my fears for decades.  I was wrong, most people could care less about us and are quite busy with their own big deals.  You just might be able to find people who want to hold your hand or slap you on the back in support.....

Quote from: Tessa James on September 08, 2013, 06:41:38 PM
Zoe one of the most succinct bits of advice I have heard is:  Secrets get toxic over time.  I magnified and compounded my fears for decades.  I was wrong, most people could care less about us and are quite busy with their own big deals.  You just might be able to find people who want to hold your hand or slap you on the back in support.....

Thanks Tessa, and i agree. Its starting to get harder and harder to hide my feelings now!! i need to be me, and its getting to the point where im becoming quite reclusive and spending so much time on my own, i feel as though i'm in a bit of a difficult place at the moment!!!

But my therapist said she is going to help with my confidence and help me come to terms with, and accept the fact that i am transexual, and i feel that this is a very important step. And i need to accept myself before i can start the adventure of transitioning!!

Zoe
x

I agree with those that said it is a struggle (in the negative sense) until the journey starts. Then it still is a struggle but at the same time an adventure. So much to explore. I must say transition and the aears after were the most exciting in my life - I learned so much about life, people, the world and did meet so many interestin people. Actually I feel a bit bored now that this is like 10 years in the past and I finished university and have to deal with the lesser exciting adventures of finding a job, funding for research projects, a nice place to live and such. Back then it was parties, queer events, discovering feminism and queer activism and being hit on by boys or girls depending on the kind of party or event. Its really like frigging puberty and last about as long as well and when its over one is a bit split about it being a great time but also one filled with so many utterly embarassing situations ;) - but it was seriously weitd to be 24 and basically in full puberty like a 16 year old.  ;)

Oh and I agree that every adventure of course also has enemies, villains and obstacles in it - this is what transgender life has more of than others, but this makes the adventure more adventurous, right ;)