Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Well, I'm currently pre-everything with only a scheduled appointment with a gender therapist, but, I'm already afraid to go anywhere due to all the murders and beatings and rape of transgender people. I don't know what I'm gonna do when I'm actually in transition. Even going to work or to the bank will just be a really scary trip for me, always constantly fearing that someone will attack me. :( How do I deal with this fear?

Well, most accidents happen at home, so you're actually safer not being at home so much.


And really, if you practice good sense and stay aware of your surroundings, you shouldn't come into very much physical danger from being trans.

Quote from: Qlinik on September 10, 2013, 02:34:13 PM
Well, I'm currently pre-everything with only a scheduled appointment with a gender therapist, but, I'm already afraid to go anywhere due to all the murders and beatings and rape of transgender people. I don't know what I'm gonna do when I'm actually in transition. Even going to work or to the bank will just be a really scary trip for me, always constantly fearing that someone will attack me. :( How do I deal with this fear?

It's a pretty irrational fear. Like a fear of flying - you are more likely to have a car accident or get run over crossing the street..

Practice a little situational awareness.. Don't go places you know are unsafe.. And just get out in the world. Yes, trans people get attacked - but so does any 'group'.. I don't think the stats on trans attacks are really all that much higher than any other group.

All you can do is be aware of your surroundings and go with someone else.
Irrational fear shouldn't keep you from living your life.


:)

I have similar fears too. I catch myself worrying over what could happen so much that I forget to focus on what is happening. After a while, I reconciled myself and my fears, and realized I would prefer to live briefly as my true self rather than exist forever as something I'm not just to keep safe.

I've dealt with this problem, too. I'm always afraid of not passing, and someone being able to detect that I'm trans and potentially ruin my day. It's not really all too irrational considering statistics, but I haven't run into any negative experiences so far. It's likely my anxiety saying otherwise.

May as well live life, just be wary of the more shady areas and remember that anyone could potentially be targeted. If we all knew we had the risk of being jumped, raped or killed, and we decided to live in perpetual fear, nobody would be out and about. Being afraid to experience life isn't living.

If you are masculine presenting, or look congruent with your assigned gender, then you really have little to worry about. The vast majority of violence perpetrated against trans* people happens to trans* women. It also heavily depends on where you are.

Everyone else's advice is as good as it gets, though. Be aware of your surroundings, be aware of the people around you, stay in high traffic and well-lit areas, etc. There's always mace or pepper spray if you're very nervous.

Well like everyone else already posted. Be aware of the places you go. Now I was once like you, and I live in a neighborhood that has drugs, gun fights, murders, prostitution and what ever else is evil in the world going on. so i understand your concerns. I had to come to terms with it all, either i was going to hide away in my apartment and die or live outside amongst to world.. And once you get out there you will find that 90% if the world could care less about you then themselves. And remember you can't control the world you can only live within it.

Take up some martial arts or self defence class.You don't have to be big or strong to take out an attacker if you know basic self defence.

Go with friends, don't go anywhere that looks sketchy and keep an eye out around you.

I took Taekwon do for 3 years, and practice what I learn still today, and I am pre-everything and scared to go most place by myself, but I feel more confident knowning how to defend myself.

Take some classes, carry some mace, be mindful and take friends with you if you feel uncomfortable.

Quote from: Qlinik on September 10, 2013, 02:34:13 PM
Well, I'm currently pre-everything with only a scheduled appointment with a gender therapist, but, I'm already afraid to go anywhere due to all the murders and beatings and rape of transgender people. I don't know what I'm gonna do when I'm actually in transition. Even going to work or to the bank will just be a really scary trip for me, always constantly fearing that someone will attack me. :( How do I deal with this fear?

It is always good to stay on guard, but you have a better chance of dying from a bee sting than being killed because you are trans.

sadly i cant go outside because of the neighbours and other residents in my street, i'm a indoor wannabee lady... i'm gutted about this, but maybe some day i can express myself who i want to be....

@Qlink, everyone has well stated what to do to keep us safe. We have all walked out that door into living our chosen gender. All I can add is the confidence that we have owning the space through most of our life in our natal bodies, we now have to carry that forward in owning that space outdoors in our chosen gender. Only then can you fly in the grace of freedom of expressing yourself. A person in a forum I used to be in used that phrase "Express yourself," I like it & use it at the bottom of my posts.

Let the world see the Beautiful you...push yourself out there. Good luck.

Jamie

I think everyone is assuming you live in the US, UK, Australia, or the like.  It may actually be dangerous for you to go outside.  Where are you from if you don't mind saying.

When in doubt, buddy system!

Quote from: Alice Danielle on September 12, 2013, 12:46:45 PM
I think everyone is assuming you live in the US, UK, Australia, or the like.  It may actually be dangerous for you to go outside.  Where are you from if you don't mind saying.

hi Alice Danielle, is your question for me? if not never mind, if so... i live in the Netherlands...

Question was for the OP :D

Unless the OP lives in a dangerous country (Russia is about the same as Saudi Arabia lately), the real truth is likely to remember the media likely plays every last instance up as if it was a great deal more than it really is.

I likely have a better chance of being raped by a moose :)

The world is not always what we see on the internent.

It is a good idea to use the buddy system. Always attempt to stay in public areas so there are witnesses. Any potential attacker will be hesitant if there are onlookers.