Susan's Place Transgender Resources

....my boobs are still the same  ???

In all seriousness, the one thing that was different is that I had some really vivid and colorful dreams last night. I am guessing this has nothing to do with E as it had been less than 24 hours and I am on quite a low dose. I think it was more just my brain reflecting on my journey that started 12 months ago when I started counseling, and then came out to the world in late February.

I feel really good right now, and cautiously optimistic.

Toni

Quote from: Antonia J on September 17, 2013, 06:13:00 AM
....my boobs are still the same  ???

In all seriousness, the one thing that was different is that I had some really vivid and colorful dreams last night. I am guessing this has nothing to do with E as it had been less than 24 hours and I am on quite a low dose. I think it was more just my brain reflecting on my journey that started 12 months ago when I started counseling, and then came out to the world in late February.

I feel really good right now, and cautiously optimistic.

Toni

I had really weird and vivid dreams when i started Spiro after eight months on e... Strange

Quote from: Antonia J on September 17, 2013, 06:13:00 AM
....my boobs are still the same  ???

I feel really good right now, and cautiously optimistic.

Toni-

Congrats on starting HRT! The reason you are feeling really good right now probably has to do with you getting onto the right path.

Oh, and the boobs will come soon enough  :)

~Eva

Toni,

Just relax & enjoy the changes. Each day with nice estrogen into your body you will feel better about yourself.

Have fun in the meanwhile, dream away.

Quote from: Antonia J on September 17, 2013, 06:13:00 AM
....my boobs are still the same  ???

Strange.... ;)

Congratulations on starting and be sure to post updates about Your feelings and experiences :)

Awesome. About feeling good that is. I know how it is about the boobs but hey I hear that they are worth the wait ;)

Congrats!

I haven't experienced the dream thing myself, but I usually have vivid dreams due to my nightly use of melatonin.

My chest didn't really start to develop after more than a month on E and two weeks on spiro.  Give it some time.

Congratulations  >:-)

Now where are the cookies?

I hope you have a smooth ride with HRT. And the boobs are definitely worth the wait. :D

Quote from: Joules on September 17, 2013, 04:12:23 PM
I got a sore chest ASAP with E, but I had been on Spiro for a long time before that.  I think Spiro is the key in many cases, The T needs to be disabled in order for hormone receptors to be free to accept E.  I think the E will start to snag some receptors as they become normally available, but the Spiro hurries that along.  It's all good, I've had vivid dreams from other medicines I've taken, I always enjoyed them!  No such luck for me with E though....

According to my endo ( and my own experience ), T doesn't really interfere with breast development. You can have as much T as a football team but still develop breasts in the usual timeframe while on E. In my case, my T still isn't suppressed ( 6 months mark for HRT in a few days ), but I do have some nice A-cup boobs.

Thanks for the kind comments, and well wishes - they made my day!

Interestingly enough, my endo did not go with spiro. Instead, he took the finasteride I was already taking for my MPB and just upped the dosage a bit. He said it was "nontraditional" but that he had used it before, and it generally had fewer side effects than spiro. He did say that when I come in to get my blood counts checked in two months that he may switch me to spiro if I am not where I should be. For now, though, he said I should feel tenderness in a couple of weeks, and begin to see other changes to skin and fat within a couple of months.

Going back to my dream from the night before - it had sound, color, and feeling (I was holding my soon-to-be-ex wife's hand).  It was extremely vivid and emotional.  I woke up and stayed awake for a good 20 minutes with the lights on trying to clear my head.  Most nights I am a super duper sound sleeper (I literally slept through Hurricane Andrew when it went over the top of me and destroyed my apartment in south Florida, and no I was not on anything - just tired).

Anyway, I feel like my normal self today - nothing unusual and no other mental / physical things to note. Just feel generally good all around. 

Quote from: Antonia J on September 17, 2013, 06:13:00 AM
....my boobs are still the same  ???

In all seriousness, the one thing that was different is that I had some really vivid and colorful dreams last night. I am guessing this has nothing to do with E as it had been less than 24 hours and I am on quite a low dose. I think it was more just my brain reflecting on my journey that started 12 months ago when I started counseling, and then came out to the world in late February.

I feel really good right now, and cautiously optimistic.

Toni

Estradiol affects the brain first.

Quote from: Antonia J on September 17, 2013, 06:13:00 AM
....my boobs are still the same  ???

In all seriousness, the one thing that was different is that I had some really vivid and colorful dreams last night.

I feel really good right now, and cautiously optimistic.

Toni

Yesterday was my first day on HRT and I woke up but didn't have boobs either (aside from the ones I have now. LOL), but I did have some vivid dreams myself. I also had a six hour road trip following my first pills and actually danced in the car to music. I've never danced in the car before, much less dance.

Like you, I am not sure if it was the E and T-blockers (Spiro and Fin) working their magic or just the joy of knowing that I was starting down a road I've wanted to travel for a very long time.

Jane

Quote from: JaneNicole2013 on September 17, 2013, 08:34:05 PM
Yesterday was my first day on HRT and I woke up but didn't have boobs either (aside from the ones I have now. LOL), but I did have some vivid dreams myself. I also had a six hour road trip following my first pills and actually danced in the car to music. I've never danced in the car before, much less dance.

Like you, I am not sure if it was the E and T-blockers (Spiro and Fin) working their magic or just the joy of knowing that I was starting down a road I've wanted to travel for a very long time.

Jane

Hooray for us!!!  Congratulations to you :)

Congratulations on starting E. 

Oh, ...  you'll wake up tomorrow with C cups.  :D

Be good and be happy.

Toni,

Please place your seat and tray table in a upright position and fasten your seat belt its going to be a bumpy ride........ You know me i try to come up with these little things.

OMG... no boobbbbies yet. Dang lol...

Ok thats enough, i am so happy for you. Dreams!!! what can i say they are for a reason. Me i stopped dreaming (happy new years) when i started full time and my RLT. They did not come back untill just a few months ago after my GRS. My mind was always running full speed ahead and i hope the fact you are having the dreams your mind is starting to settle with what you are doing for yourself.

Things will happen over time with your progress. Remember sometimes it happend more in spurts. Your numbers will be the best guide on how things are inside and with these good numbers you will see the things on the outside. I really hope things work out the way you need them to.

Hugs GF and anytime you need anything give me a shout....
Izzy

I am totally not making this up. Three days on E and I am getting some achy-bruise type feelings behind the nipples and kind of radiating to my armpit. My nipples also are pointing to attention.  This has to be some kind of record, right? Should I be freaking out now??

Quote from: Antonia J on September 18, 2013, 09:43:50 PM
I am totally not making this up. Three days on E and I am getting some achy-bruise type feelings behind the nipples and kind of radiating to my armpit. My nipples also are pointing to attention.  This has to be some kind of record, right? Should I be freaking out now??

Oh just wait till them little buds start to get a little bigger and you are wearing a loose shirt and they brush so lightly on your shirt. OMG..... You will know what they are all about in the mind vs body connection.
Breast tenderness is always the first to show up. Agaiin remember spurts....

Hugs
Izzy

It is perfectly normal :) Just relax, breathe and enjoy Your ride :) (I know You wont, because at this stage of transition we all become unpatient and what not - I remember looking into mirror countless times per day :P, but anyway... at least I tried to reason You ;).

For me changes in dreams came very quickly!

Well your boobies have started! funny thing about starting boobs, many of want 'decent' size ones :laugh:. But I can assure you get used to dealing with small ones first, because they will catch on everything, from the clothes, to the car door (OUCH) to your friends kids wandering hands to - just name it!

I'm not sure about other girls but I started wearing a padded bra quite early, not for support or bragging but for armour!!

And congratulations ladies!!!!!

Cindy

I love you ladies.  I just ordered a padded bra as a preemptive measure to pain.  So do cisgirls deal with the same pain in puberty? It would explain why my older sister was always crabby when we were growing up lol

Quote from: Antonia J on September 19, 2013, 04:49:10 AM
I love you ladies.  I just ordered a padded bra as a preemptive measure to pain.  So do cisgirls deal with the same pain in puberty? It would explain why my older sister was always crabby when we were growing up lol

We love You too :). I dont want to sound as a heretic here, but I was given an advice by fellow MtF who is one year ahead of me, which essentially sounded "Stay away from bras as long as You can - You will have one for the rest of Your life, so for the time being - let them rest and enjoy their freedom :P". So far I am good with that :)

Have the bra handy!

One car door edge is very convincing!

Quote from: Antonia J on September 17, 2013, 06:13:00 AM
....my boobs are still the same  ???

In all seriousness, the one thing that was different is that I had some really vivid and colorful dreams last night. I am guessing this has nothing to do with E as it had been less than 24 hours and I am on quite a low dose. I think it was more just my brain reflecting on my journey that started 12 months ago when I started counseling, and then came out to the world in late February.

I feel really good right now, and cautiously optimistic.

Toni

Sweetheart, it took me months before a change happened for me. And then another few months until "Ow, I cant even touch my chest without feeling pain"
Not entirely typical! I think some doctors like to low ball us on doses. Mine certainly did at least x_x! Not that I will discuss doseages here, but the other girls I've talked to had a way different and quick acceleration in their own hormones. Give it some time!

Quote from: Antonia J on September 17, 2013, 06:13:00 AM
....my boobs are still the same  ???

Toni

I grew two cup sizes my first day on E.  E is short for Elective Surgery right?  I remember feeling a calm sense of being right with the world my first day on Estrogen.

Quote from: Cindy on September 19, 2013, 03:19:52 AM
For me changes in dreams came very quickly!

Well your boobies have started! funny thing about starting boobs, many of want 'decent' size ones :laugh:. But I can assure you get used to dealing with small ones first, because they will catch on everything, from the clothes, to the car door (OUCH) to your friends kids wandering hands to - just name it!

I'm not sure about other girls but I started wearing a padded bra quite early, not for support or bragging but for armour!!

And congratulations ladies!!!!!

Cindy

Hey Cindy you nailed it again!  My little A cup breasts are plenty to deal with and get used too right now.  Yes that bra "armour" feels like a good idea to help prevent bumps and jiggling on the run.  I just love having real breasts, after expecting them to magically appear all my life.  Braless private time squeezing and holding myself is marvelous while looking down to see them, priceless. 
We have more than 5 senses one of which is proprioception which helps us know where are body or body parts are in relation to the whole.  We know where our hands are without seeing them for instance.  It takes time to accustom ourselves to this new anatomy and what a special reset it is to redo a bit of puberty!!??
Ciswomen have multiple reasons for sensitive breasts during development and menstrual cycling.  Friends have said that my sensitivity reminds them of being on birth control pills.  And isn't it cool to have that freedom of no bleeding or pregnancy risk?

It seems a number of you were started on E first, whereas in my health center they start with AAs first for two to three months minimum to phase-in maximum dosage before considering adding the E.  Are certain practices more common in certain countries or do all these doctors have their own approach?

This "propioception" or phantom limb stuff probably explains why I've felt like my fake boobs are a natural extension of my body.  I can almost feel physical sensation outside of my actual chest.  The mind is a powerful thing.  It will be really interesting to see how my body adjusts to the presence of actual boobs.

Just a comment, I was in bed reading and my phone went off in another room so I ran to get it. Last time I do that without support!
OW!
I had no idea!
I've got cute B's OMG I thought my chest was being pulled off.  It wasn't fun, in retrospect it is wonderful!

Quote from: Violet Bloom on September 19, 2013, 12:16:11 PM
It seems a number of you were started on E first, whereas in my health center they start with AAs first for two to three months minimum to phase-in maximum dosage before considering adding the E.  Are certain practices more common in certain countries or do all these doctors have their own approach?

This "propioception" or phantom limb stuff probably explains why I've felt like my fake boobs are a natural extension of my body.  I can almost feel physical sensation outside of my actual chest.  The mind is a powerful thing.  It will be really interesting to see how my body adjusts to the presence of actual boobs.

Hi hon,

Practices vary heaps, I don't think there are good or bad ones just different ones. I was on E and never put on AA for many months and then to control hair cycle only.

The presence of actual boobs is quite mind changing, in a sad way I can understand completely what the guys think about top surgery.

So as another one new to E (four days) and starting to feel the tenderness, I'd like to wear a bra more (I bought a few athletic bras that feel great), but I am far from being out at work. What did some of your do? are there bra unnoticeable under, say, a dark blue business shirt?

I highly recommend a ...

(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi207.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fbb206%2Fsmcpatrick%2FWitchestit.jpg&hash=f49fba51d935233deaa9e7bae38fb91ae90abc89)

... brass brassier!

Quote from: Jamie D on September 19, 2013, 07:26:47 PM
I highly recommend a ...

(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi207.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fbb206%2Fsmcpatrick%2FWitchestit.jpg&hash=f49fba51d935233deaa9e7bae38fb91ae90abc89)

... brass brassier!

I was planning that as my "first day at work as Jane" outfit :).

What I did ( and still do for work ) for protection in the beginning is just wear low impact sports bras...

They're comfortable, provide basic support, generally inexpensive, and easy to hide under clothing. And since they're generally not moulded, they'll help you hide the growing girls.

Moulded bras are great once you reach an A-cup, but they won't help you hide if you're still in male-mode.

I just ordered some sports bras online.  I am fairly broad chested with a 42 inch chest that does not have any fat on it.  unless I want to get implants at some point to help proportion things better, that is going to be an issue.  I was looking for bras that would fit and all the ones I found were for b and c cup women with a 42 inch band.  The sports bra I ended up getting online was a Jockey brand with thin spaghetti straps.  It looks cute and should fit.  Mainly I just don't want to nip out of my clothes, and if any of you have bra ideas for big chests and small breasts please share!

I have to be honest and say this is a really cool problem to have, overall.  Much better than trying to figure out makeup or voice.

Quote from: Jamie D on September 19, 2013, 07:26:47 PM
I highly recommend a ...

(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi207.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fbb206%2Fsmcpatrick%2FWitchestit.jpg&hash=f49fba51d935233deaa9e7bae38fb91ae90abc89)

... brass brassier!

only if it comes in size 42aa  :o

Quote from: Antonia J on September 19, 2013, 08:34:09 PM
only if it comes in size 42aa  :o

Just hammer it down to size. ;D

So after one day your boobs are still the same. Omg, that's nothing, when you think of other people who go a full year with nothing. You need to get on with life, as the changes will take time. You may have changes this month, in three months or not until many many months to come. And if you are only on E, you may get no changes at all.

Quote from: bethanyjadefowell on September 20, 2013, 10:32:09 AM
So after one day your boobs are still the same. Omg, that's nothing, when you think of other people who go a full year with nothing. You need to get on with life, as the changes will take time. You may have changes this month, in three months or not until many many months to come. And if you are only on E, you may get no changes at all.

Bethany I think some of us are being funny and facetious about our impatience with being a changling.  People who have taken the steps to be in transition and on HRT are "getting on with life."  It is maddening to know and clearly envision where we want to go and realize it takes time and results will vary.  So yes, in real time we take a deep breath and put the measuring tape back in the drawer till tomorrow....? :D

Spiro's info said it may make my breasts swollen and tender.  Day 3 and nothing so far!?!  :'( :'( :'(

......of course that would be meaningless anyway.  Yes, we're just trying to have fun with this.  There's enough stress involved in this whole process that we need more than a little humor, the more self-deprecating, the better.  (Some of the more senior members here are true masters of the craft.)  Plus I'll gladly take any excuse to use more emoticons. ;)

Tessa and Violet: well said!

Now if I could just get past this senior moment I am having....

Oh i love that you girls do keep me laughing my little ass off ;D

Quote from: Christine167 on September 17, 2013, 03:52:19 PM
Awesome. About feeling good that is. I know how it is about the boobs but hey I hear that they are worth the wait ;)

Christine, they are definetly worth the wait. Mine are growing nicely & it is such a rush to actually see & feel nice breasts. My mother & grand mothers were all well endowed so I'm excited to also develop some nice size girls. Take care girl friend.

Quote from: Tessa James on September 20, 2013, 10:50:30 AM
Bethany I think some of us are being funny and facetious about our impatience with being a changling.  People who have taken the steps to be in transition and on HRT are "getting on with life."  It is maddening to know and clearly envision where we want to go and realize it takes time and results will vary.  So yes, in real time we take a deep breath and put the measuring tape back in the drawer till tomorrow....? :D

OMG! You are like SO RIGHT! :o That is the whole reason as to why I've been like so frustrated the past few months when getting the go for hormones got delayed because of a misunderstanding. And now that I've like officially gotten "approval," now I've got to wait to get an appointment with the endocrinologist because she is all booked and she only does appointment scheduling on the first of every month. Then I have to wait for everything to start developing. And then comes the wonderful "Real Life Test." Gawd, I just want to get on with my life. It seems that this is all just some huge waiting game. Maybe it is more like the "awkward phase" that everyone developing goes through? I mean everyone had to wait for everything to finish during puberty, so I'll just think of it that way. And I don't think it is really an issue of impatience, rather it is just wishing to finally be complete. But as they say, "Good things come to those who wait."

I also find the mention of the "phantom limbs syndrome" thing amusing because I experience that a lot, too. It is like our body knows what should be there and what shouldn't be. Because seriously, it feels so weird to move sometimes because it is like my brain expects there to be some form of motion and some weight on my chest and, it gets confused when there isn't. Just like the movement down there also seems foreign. It doesn't help that I also have issues with chronic groin pain, which is only made worse by my fibromyalgia. So I'm like constantly aware of that area and feel like things are missing or are off. I can imagine how FtMs feel, but it is just the opposite. It makes me wonder like if all of this really IS implanted in the brain and it has like this "Body Image Template" (BIT) that is telling the person that something is off with the body and it has to be this way. I mean, maybe that is what it is makes sense. Because the moment that I got the go, things changed. I started to feel better and have hope. Now I just have to patiently wait for things to come to pass. It will in due time, hehe. So I won't let the waiting stop me from living my life.

And yes, I know. I write long posts, lol. I've got to work on simplifying. Hope you all have a wonderful day. ^o^