Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Now that I think about it, it was a risk in the first place.
On the net, I told a guy I met I'm a guy in a woman's body. And he laughed saying: "A chick then." and "Why does a lot of girls want to be guys?" Afterward the talk continues quite smoothly but this incident left me with some kind of distaste.
I guess you guys here are like me and wouldn't like to call yourself, or be called a girl. Well, are you fine with calling yourself a man?
As for me, I'm not so sure. Because, well, I just came to terms with this. And... Well, I don't really feel like other guys. What I mean is, I think I'm a guy but I'm not like the average guys I know. For example; I don't swear, okay, I do, but not much and not intense. And I'm not careless or can act mean to people. I'm kind of sensitive and yeah, I consider people's feeling a lot. I think I'm a bit too excessive about that. Ah, don't get me wrong, I think a moderate carelessness is cool.
Welp, if I have them man parts I won't have these kind of doubts.
Hm, and... What gender do you say you are to people who you meet on the net? I've been thinking about this before, I'm not so sure, this is the first time I introduced myself like this, and well, I'm not very pleased with the result.

You are free to be yourself here.  Almost all of our members are gender variant.  This place is an opportunity to explore your gender identity.

So you're not like the other guys because you don't swear, not careless, not mean, and actually care for people.

It dosen't sound as less man nor woman to me, it sound like a pretty bad way to be a man if you have to be a douchebag about it, not something I would want.
You should just be yourself, the type of person who care about people is much better than the type of guy who don't care at all.

I don't really feel like other guys as well, I got another background than many of my classmates, it not only transrelated but also in other fact, yet I belive everyone in some degree has there own story who makes them somehow diffrent but its just more easy being normal.

I usunally don't call myself "man" itself, I prefern man ower woman but too me I just say "guy" mostly, because it seams to fit better with my age. I feel a man is a word decribing a older person who grown from a boy into an adult and even when im 20 I still dont feel much as an adult, I mean, I just hit puberty 2 years ago after all, so I still consider myself a teen.
-

for the internet or in real thing there always to be idiots, just remember
"those who mind dosent matter, and those who matter dosent mind" 

There was a time when although I knew I should have been born male, it was really hard to call myself a man because I didn't feel...well, like in many ways I was good enough. I felt like I wasn't able to be called a guy because of my body, and because I wasn't raised as a guy. I just felt out of place. And it didn't help that no one could really acknowledge me as a guy given my prior appearance. But as I've been on T longer, a lot of that is going away. I think the most important thing is being comfortable with you, gender aside.

what you call "not like most guys" are traits that i find in some of nicest guys i know. most guys who grew up in a religious family. guys who'd make great fathers. etc. doesn't make you less man at all.

on the internet i am mostly a guy, except here, where i'm just me. it's been over a year since i gave up hoping that people would treat me like "not a girl" (most people interpret that as "a guy") if i mentioned a female body. so i pretended to be a guy for a couple months at a forum i joined, until i gave up that as well, and just was me. interestingly the real me, with no mentions of gender, was taken for a guy. apparently that what is most me of all the versions i could present to people. the only place i've been accepted as a female bodied non-girl was in this old now dead bara community.

I don't tend to tell people (online or otherwise) about being trans unless they're trans too or if I plan on having them in my bed. I mean, what's the point really? My gf is free to tell her gay friends about me if she wants. I just ask that she informs me who she has told. I'm far from being ashamed about being trans. I just don't know why I would tell people in most situations.

I swear a lot but my gf swears more than I do, lol. I don't see that as a masculine trait. Maybe traditionally it was but we're not in the 1950's anymore. I have many interests, some stereotypically feminine/some masculine. Don't feel the need to live up to some stereotype that is just going to make you miserable one day. Just be yourself and do what you like. If someone has a problem with how you express yourself then it's really their problem and not a reflection of you.

Well, I do understand what you are saying. Born female- don't feel like a female and we're not "male" either (born). I find it strange too sometimes if I call myself a man, even if i feel like one. It's just that we weren't born male and we didn't go through those typical male stages of puberty. It's an odd feeling.. Sometimes I don't even know what to call myself. Unspecified? I feel like I don't "deserve" to call myself a man. Not yet I guess, pre everything.

Just my 2 cents- I'm new.
Hey ya'll  :icon_wave:

Quote from: Natkat on September 20, 2013, 12:48:56 AM
So you're not like the other guys because you don't swear, not careless, not mean, and actually care for people.

Good point. This sounds like a negative stereotype of guys, like the worst-case examples and not an average case. I would encourage not defining an entire subgroup of people by it's most negative stereotypes. This is particularly key to your own self-esteem if you find you're self-defining as a guy.

Quote from: VaultOfHeaven on September 20, 2013, 12:08:32 AM
Welp, if I have them man parts I won't have these kind of doubts.

Precisely. Double standards suck.

Quote from: VaultOfHeaven on September 20, 2013, 12:08:32 AMHm, and... What gender do you say you are to people who you meet on the net?

I tell them I'm a guy. There was awhile where I felt uncomfortable with calling myself male because of how my body is, but I got over that. We are just as much men as every other man is.

I certainly agree with what Dalebert said. However,why settle to be an average man (or average anything for that matter?)

Girls, guys they all have different personality, just be who you are not what they want you to be.  Im a very sensitive person and im not a jerk, they say all guys are the same i thing it wrong everyone is different in their own ways. If this guy tell you different he not worth it.

Wow! I didn't expect so many replies guys. You're all so supporting yet it took me some effort to force myself to read. I'm kind of shy. He he.
And true, about the stereotype thing, I'm glad to hear those words. I guess I've wanted to hear them. Well, it's not like I don't know. But... Well, logically I knew, but I still doubted.
Anyhow, I definitely feel better now.
I'm still not sure what to say about my gender when it's asked but, I think I'll manage.
And hello Jay81, I'm new here too.

Some continuation to my story, I still talk to the guy I mentioned above. He's quite friendly, we didn't mention that gender topic anymore. Just now, he addressed me as a "queen" on a casual conversation. Well, I'm not that angry, quite fine too cause in real life people address me with feminine pronounce all the time. But I though I should get it clear soon, cause if I don't he might go on with that. So, after a moment of thought, I said something along the lines of: "Last time when I told you I'm a guy, I'm not joking. So please refer to me as a he."
I didn't read his reply yet. I'll do it now.

Again, thank you all! This is the first time I heard from people like you, I'm so glad.

It's good that you were able to summon the courage to address the issue with him.. If he is respectful, this will be a non-issue in the future..

As long you are ok with it and able to deal with it. I was chatting to this one girl once and started to like each other then when i told her i was a transmale she started using she, girl and stuff so i told her to stop it and didnt like it she carryed on so in the end i blocked her.

Quote from: rexyrex on September 21, 2013, 03:32:45 AM
As long you are ok with it and able to deal with it. I was chatting to this one girl once and started to like each other then when i told her i was a transmale she started using she, girl and stuff so i told her to stop it and didnt like it she carryed on so in the end i blocked her.

.....
i'm so glad the few people i've come out to as trans whatever, have continued to treat me like a guy. there are some people who don't think the body shape matters all that much. might still be awkward to meet up with them irl, but i trust those few friends enough that i'd do that if they lived just a little bit closer to europe.

Quote from: VaultOfHeaven on September 21, 2013, 03:09:26 AM
Some continuation to my story, I still talk to the guy I mentioned above. He's quite friendly, we didn't mention that gender topic anymore. Just now, he addressed me as a "queen" on a casual conversation. Well, I'm not that angry, quite fine too cause in real life people address me with feminine pronounce all the time. But I though I should get it clear soon, cause if I don't he might go on with that. So, after a moment of thought, I said something along the lines of: "Last time when I told you I'm a guy, I'm not joking. So please refer to me as a he."
I didn't read his reply yet. I'll do it now.

i'd take "queen" as an insult unless i was acting a dominatrix role. luckily i've never been called queen as a guy (it would be the greatest shame), seems i come off more as a male chauvinist despite being more of a feminist really.

I can relate to you.

even though I'm a guy, i still like cute stuff, i like making others happy, making others laugh and i get a little emotional and corny. i enjoy seeing people get love wether it be straight or gay. i like things that would be considered girly but att eh same time, I swear like  a sailor, I have a raunchy sense of humor and I enjoy things that would be considered manly too. I like fishing and camping and video games and some sports.

on the internet i try not to tell people my gender. my alias beefxcake is kind of androgynous. some people think im male some think im female. but i don't make it  apoint. now that im aware of myself better and if eel i can comfortable identify as male, at least better than i have in the past, if people ask i will say im a guy. they'll never see me in real life why should i say im a girl?

I see, guys. :)
The guy I talked to seem to don't know what ftm is, I explained it to him and he agrees to address me as a dude. Though he said he often uses terms like girlfriend, darling and stuffs on his friends.

Okay, from now on I'll call myself a guy.

Maybe i should mention this funny canadian friend of mine who tends to call everybody "bitch". Especially people whom he likes... Confused me the first time he used it, i couldn't understand why he'd call a dude bitch. Apparently it was because he wanted to get to know me. You should expect quite a bit of odd lingo from gay cis guys. It's often better to be confused than offended by being called something that you don't understand why you're called that.

Quote from: Taka on September 25, 2013, 02:34:06 AM
Maybe i should mention this funny canadian friend of mine who tends to call everybody "bitch". Especially people whom he likes... Confused me the first time he used it, i couldn't understand why he'd call a dude bitch. Apparently it was because he wanted to get to know me. You should expect quite a bit of odd lingo from gay cis guys. It's often better to be confused than offended by being called something that you don't understand why you're called that.

I can level on that, in a way. In not too terribly dissimilar fashion... in my family vulgarities are literally terms of endearment. I guess we're all just that emotionally repressed. We can't seem to go the "I love you" (or hugs and kisses) route, so... we use reverse-psychology, slaps to the ass and that kind of stuff. Really. It's a funny thing to be sure... in public, lots of 'looks' lol. My great grandfather didn't get it and held deep offense to it thinking when I rebutted my mom with an admittedly ill-timed 'butt-hole' one Christmas that I was a brat (not knowing my mom whips worse out. She started the whole thing). Wouldn't talk to me for the longest. Poor man (weirdly though the next Christmas he got all enraptured with the 'Jackass' movie that was on... serious. Man of mystery indeed. We were all like: :icon_weirdface: then: :icon_weee:).

So yeah, its oftentimes bad to assume... :eusa_whistle:

"Bitch" is completely gender-neutral in gay circles.

Quote from: dalebert on September 25, 2013, 06:34:25 AM
"Bitch" is completely gender-neutral in gay circles.

Lol it is. My brother calls me "bitch" and "girl" all the time, and I know he has always completely seen me as male.

Quote from: dalebert on September 25, 2013, 06:34:25 AM
"Bitch" is completely gender-neutral in gay circles.

i found out when my friend called me that, before we were really friends. that might have been one of the best ways to start a friendship, confused me greatly, but i've totally loved the guy ever since.

Quote from: Magnus on September 25, 2013, 03:10:52 AM
I can level on that, in a way. In not too terribly dissimilar fashion... in my family vulgarities are literally terms of endearment. I guess we're all just that emotionally repressed. We can't seem to go the "I love you" (or hugs and kisses) route, so... we use reverse-psychology, slaps to the ass and that kind of stuff. Really. It's a funny thing to be sure... in public, lots of 'looks' lol. My great grandfather didn't get it and held deep offense to it thinking when I rebutted my mom with an admittedly ill-timed 'butt-hole' one Christmas that I was a brat (not knowing my mom whips worse out. She started the whole thing). Wouldn't talk to me for the longest. Poor man (weirdly though the next Christmas he got all enraptured with the 'Jackass' movie that was on... serious. Man of mystery indeed. We were all like: :icon_weirdface: then: :icon_weee:).

vulgar language is no good in my family, but... it's fairly common to smack someone's arse. the same way i'd to when telling our horse she's been a good girl after doing some work. i think it's about establishing trust in some way. (and one can't smack too lightly, because that would just tickle)