Community Conversation => Transitioning => Topic started by: suzifrommd on September 22, 2013, 07:21:41 PM Return to Full Version
Title: What would you tell your pre-transition self?
Post by: suzifrommd on September 22, 2013, 07:21:41 PM
Post by: suzifrommd on September 22, 2013, 07:21:41 PM
If I could phone my pre-transition self to soothe her worries, I would tell her:
* Your looks and voice will pass. That hard work will pay off.
* Your family, friends, and coworkers will accept you.
* As a woman, you will do your job just as well and enjoy it more.
* Your laser hair removal will work in the end, so don't fret if the first few treatments are disappointing.
* You will be attractive enough that men will pay attention to you.
* You will easily prove up to the task of living every day as a woman. You will quickly get used to it and totally LOVE the woman you become.
What would you tell your pre-transition self (and any other pre-transition folk listening in)?
* Your looks and voice will pass. That hard work will pay off.
* Your family, friends, and coworkers will accept you.
* As a woman, you will do your job just as well and enjoy it more.
* Your laser hair removal will work in the end, so don't fret if the first few treatments are disappointing.
* You will be attractive enough that men will pay attention to you.
* You will easily prove up to the task of living every day as a woman. You will quickly get used to it and totally LOVE the woman you become.
What would you tell your pre-transition self (and any other pre-transition folk listening in)?
Title: Re: What would you tell your pre-transition self?
Post by: ErinM on September 22, 2013, 07:29:55 PM
Post by: ErinM on September 22, 2013, 07:29:55 PM
- It's not even a fraction as scary as you're making it out in your mind.
- Look it one small step at a time and not all at it once.
- Stop dragging your feet on this and get started already.
- Look it one small step at a time and not all at it once.
- Stop dragging your feet on this and get started already.
Title: Re: What would you tell your pre-transition self?
Post by: KabitTarah on September 22, 2013, 07:49:44 PM
Post by: KabitTarah on September 22, 2013, 07:49:44 PM
I am my pre-transition self... if I could tell my pre-out self (at any point), I'd say "the earlier you hurt your wife, the better".... or "don't get married before you come out transgender!"
Title: Re: What would you tell your pre-transition self?
Post by: FrancisAnn on September 22, 2013, 08:15:46 PM
Post by: FrancisAnn on September 22, 2013, 08:15:46 PM
For me. I've always mentally been a girl since early childhood.
So I would tell myself to just have all these steps completed. Take HRT, remove all wrong T stuff, enjoy life as a normal person/feminine, have all necessary surgeries to look as normal as possible, have SRS finally. Just complete all these things to have a normal life & enjoy your life as best possible.
Ignore or overcome all problems in your way to a happy normal life. You deserve a happy normal life for yourself.
One last important item: Do not try & wear shoes that are a little small for your feet not matter how great they look!
So I would tell myself to just have all these steps completed. Take HRT, remove all wrong T stuff, enjoy life as a normal person/feminine, have all necessary surgeries to look as normal as possible, have SRS finally. Just complete all these things to have a normal life & enjoy your life as best possible.
Ignore or overcome all problems in your way to a happy normal life. You deserve a happy normal life for yourself.
One last important item: Do not try & wear shoes that are a little small for your feet not matter how great they look!
Title: Re: What would you tell your pre-transition self?
Post by: bethany on September 22, 2013, 08:21:34 PM
Post by: bethany on September 22, 2013, 08:21:34 PM
Start to transition ASAP!!
Title: Re: What would you tell your pre-transition self?
Post by: Femboy on September 22, 2013, 08:26:26 PM
Post by: Femboy on September 22, 2013, 08:26:26 PM
I would tell my young self
- it's okay that you're a feminine fairy boy and not a macho manly man! And you're not alone. You'll find lots of other fem trans men in the future!
- Don't be a douchebag to try and get people to understand you're a guy. Cut out that misogynistic bullcrap!
- Your body is incredible. Do everything you can to love and appreciate it as is, but don't let your determination to learn self-love keep you from being honest with yourself about the ways you want/need to change your body
- Look up generalized anxiety disorder. You have this! An early diagnosis and ongoing treatment will save you so many years of agony
Title: Re: What would you tell your pre-transition self?
Post by: kelly_aus on September 23, 2013, 05:09:34 AM
Post by: kelly_aus on September 23, 2013, 05:09:34 AM
Just Do It..
Title: Re: What would you tell your pre-transition self?
Post by: Antonia J on September 23, 2013, 05:31:06 AM
Post by: Antonia J on September 23, 2013, 05:31:06 AM
You're going to have to be really strong, but you can get through it. Don't lose hope.
Title: Re: What would you tell your pre-transition self?
Post by: Cindy on September 23, 2013, 05:33:37 AM
Post by: Cindy on September 23, 2013, 05:33:37 AM
It's easy.
The worry is over nothing.
Live your life
Why haven't you started you silly cow?
The worry is over nothing.
Live your life
Why haven't you started you silly cow?
Title: Re: What would you tell your pre-transition self?
Post by: NathanielM on September 23, 2013, 08:32:36 AM
Post by: NathanielM on September 23, 2013, 08:32:36 AM
I'd tell sicteen year-old first starting to doubt me: You're right, you've been good at knowing who you are for years and you know now. Stop doubting!
Title: Re: What would you tell your pre-transition self?
Post by: ZoeM on September 23, 2013, 09:33:14 AM
Post by: ZoeM on September 23, 2013, 09:33:14 AM
I'd say three things:
1. Start saving on Day 1 of your new job.
2. Start growing your hair out and practicing your voice immediately
3. You're going to be just fine. (Which I'm sure young-me could tell from seeing and hearing future-me)
1. Start saving on Day 1 of your new job.
2. Start growing your hair out and practicing your voice immediately
3. You're going to be just fine. (Which I'm sure young-me could tell from seeing and hearing future-me)
Title: Re: What would you tell your pre-transition self?
Post by: Liam on September 28, 2013, 12:32:19 AM
Post by: Liam on September 28, 2013, 12:32:19 AM
This is really nice to read when I'm still pre-transition. :)
Title: Re: What would you tell your pre-transition self?
Post by: Anatta on September 28, 2013, 12:35:57 AM
Post by: Anatta on September 28, 2013, 12:35:57 AM
Kia Ora S,
Re: What would you tell your pre-transition self?
::) S*#t happens ! :icon_evil_laugh:
Metta Zenda :)
Re: What would you tell your pre-transition self?
::) S*#t happens ! :icon_evil_laugh:
Metta Zenda :)
Title: Re: What would you tell your pre-transition self?
Post by: eli77 on September 28, 2013, 12:40:17 AM
Post by: eli77 on September 28, 2013, 12:40:17 AM
Dear idiot. Transitioning is going to be super easy for your overly privileged ass. All the people who love you are still going to love you. You will have zero problems with passing and all that nonsense. And you will have a super hot girlfriend. Maybe stop freaking out and start already?
Title: Re: What would you tell your pre-transition self?
Post by: bingunginter on October 02, 2013, 06:00:21 PM
Post by: bingunginter on October 02, 2013, 06:00:21 PM
I would tell myself do not transition. Its not going to make you better or happier.
Title: Re: What would you tell your pre-transition self?
Post by: bingunginter on October 02, 2013, 06:11:50 PM
Post by: bingunginter on October 02, 2013, 06:11:50 PM
Quote from: Miss Bungle on October 02, 2013, 06:09:27 PM
What makes you say that?
Because that is my situation right now.
Title: Re: What would you tell your pre-transition self?
Post by: Jessica Merriman on October 02, 2013, 07:38:21 PM
Post by: Jessica Merriman on October 02, 2013, 07:38:21 PM
I would tell myself RUUN! The "T" monster is coming! He'll mess you up real bad if it catches you and multiplies! Hurry, "T" is gaining on you!
Title: Re: What would you tell your pre-transition self?
Post by: mrs izzy on October 02, 2013, 07:56:57 PM
Post by: mrs izzy on October 02, 2013, 07:56:57 PM
Self, You will be getting a mind f..k by your X, it is all a lie. She is only going to take everything you own. Do not pick up the .un. Start looking at things as positive and put in effect things that will place her on the loosing end. Everything no matter how bad you think they are, are just not true.
Never quit being who you are inside. You only will lose if you give up. Someday you will be looking back and saying today is my 6th month post-op day, a true milestone.
Happy 6 month birthday
Izzy
Never quit being who you are inside. You only will lose if you give up. Someday you will be looking back and saying today is my 6th month post-op day, a true milestone.
Happy 6 month birthday
Izzy
Title: Re: What would you tell your pre-transition self?
Post by: Ltl89 on October 02, 2013, 08:12:00 PM
Post by: Ltl89 on October 02, 2013, 08:12:00 PM
I'm too early in my transition to make a big statement, but I would prepare my past self to get ready for the difficulties with my mom. I sort of went into scared but thinking it would go a lot better than it did. If I had prepared myself in advance, I could have saved some heart ache and been a little more proactive about that. Since my mom is like my best friend, I couldn't of ever fathomed some of the things that were said.
Also, I would remind my younger self that things aren't going to just fall into place like I foolishly hoped. "You are a 19 year old girl with much potential and can do this, but you need to face the struggles as well. Letting the time go by in hopes for a fantasy to come true would be a tragic mistake."
As for my current and early transition 24 year old self, "please snap out of it and start putting yourself out there. You desperately want to live as a girl so why are you waiting and continuously delaying your happiness". Problem is she doesn't listen.
Also, I would remind my younger self that things aren't going to just fall into place like I foolishly hoped. "You are a 19 year old girl with much potential and can do this, but you need to face the struggles as well. Letting the time go by in hopes for a fantasy to come true would be a tragic mistake."
As for my current and early transition 24 year old self, "please snap out of it and start putting yourself out there. You desperately want to live as a girl so why are you waiting and continuously delaying your happiness". Problem is she doesn't listen.
Title: Re: What would you tell your pre-transition self?
Post by: Carrie Liz on October 02, 2013, 08:49:29 PM
Post by: Carrie Liz on October 02, 2013, 08:49:29 PM
I would tell my pre-transition self: (my self during my denial period from age 18 to age 26 or so)
1. It's not too late. Hormones WILL work on you.
2. Get going on it. You think that you're over your trans desires, and that everything is going to be fine in your life. It's not. You're living in denial. You're miserable and unmotivated, and you know that you're miserable and unmotivated. And even when you have everything you thought you wanted, this feeling will not go away. Healing is a long process, but it can't begin until you finally admit to yourself that you really do want to be female. Every day that you wait is just another day of hating your body that you'll have to put up with.
3. You do have the courage to go public with this. You just don't know it yet. Don't be ashamed of who you are.
4. Everyone that you love will be completely fine with it. Don't worry about their expectations. They don't love this perfect self that you try to be for them. They love YOU, the real you. Your mother is hurting because she saw how depressed you were in high school and she felt powerless to help. When you finally admit why to her, she'll cry and say "I've finally got you back," and you'll be closer to her than ever.
(If we're going to go back to being even younger, so that I can talk to my middle school self:)
5. Come out as trans NOW!!!! Stop your voice from changing, and stop puberty before it happens. You know that you're absolutely petrified of losing that beautiful voice, and you know that you're jealous of girls in every way, and you hate body hair and hate your offending lower male anatomy. It's not because you're a weirdo. It's because you're transsexual. You really are. And if you don't do something about it now, you're going to spend the entire rest of your life wishing that you could have. You will miss that voice FOREVER. And if you do it now, you'll look so much like a genetic girl that it will be impossible for anyone to tell. Hormones, damn it!!! You're not doomed to suffer through a male puberty that you hate every single second of. If only you had known about testosterone-blockers...
6. Quit caring so damned much about what other people think about you. It's not your problem, it's theirs. They're projecting their own social insecurities onto you. Don't let them get to you. Live your life, and be proud of who you are. Don't deny yourself for the sake of fitting in once you get to high school. It is the single worst mistake that you will ever make in your entire life. Fitting in won't make you happier. You will only change from suffering publicly, to suffering in silence, feeling like not a single person in the world knows the real you.
7. You know how you wish you could be a girl? Well guess what, kiddo? You are going to be one some day. And it really is going to feel every bit as wonderful as you imagine in your little nighttime fantasy stories that you write. Just wait until you feel that amazing feeling of someone telling you that you're sweet and that you're beautiful for the first time. It will blow your freaking mind, and you will NEVER feel so happy.
1. It's not too late. Hormones WILL work on you.
2. Get going on it. You think that you're over your trans desires, and that everything is going to be fine in your life. It's not. You're living in denial. You're miserable and unmotivated, and you know that you're miserable and unmotivated. And even when you have everything you thought you wanted, this feeling will not go away. Healing is a long process, but it can't begin until you finally admit to yourself that you really do want to be female. Every day that you wait is just another day of hating your body that you'll have to put up with.
3. You do have the courage to go public with this. You just don't know it yet. Don't be ashamed of who you are.
4. Everyone that you love will be completely fine with it. Don't worry about their expectations. They don't love this perfect self that you try to be for them. They love YOU, the real you. Your mother is hurting because she saw how depressed you were in high school and she felt powerless to help. When you finally admit why to her, she'll cry and say "I've finally got you back," and you'll be closer to her than ever.
(If we're going to go back to being even younger, so that I can talk to my middle school self:)
5. Come out as trans NOW!!!! Stop your voice from changing, and stop puberty before it happens. You know that you're absolutely petrified of losing that beautiful voice, and you know that you're jealous of girls in every way, and you hate body hair and hate your offending lower male anatomy. It's not because you're a weirdo. It's because you're transsexual. You really are. And if you don't do something about it now, you're going to spend the entire rest of your life wishing that you could have. You will miss that voice FOREVER. And if you do it now, you'll look so much like a genetic girl that it will be impossible for anyone to tell. Hormones, damn it!!! You're not doomed to suffer through a male puberty that you hate every single second of. If only you had known about testosterone-blockers...
6. Quit caring so damned much about what other people think about you. It's not your problem, it's theirs. They're projecting their own social insecurities onto you. Don't let them get to you. Live your life, and be proud of who you are. Don't deny yourself for the sake of fitting in once you get to high school. It is the single worst mistake that you will ever make in your entire life. Fitting in won't make you happier. You will only change from suffering publicly, to suffering in silence, feeling like not a single person in the world knows the real you.
7. You know how you wish you could be a girl? Well guess what, kiddo? You are going to be one some day. And it really is going to feel every bit as wonderful as you imagine in your little nighttime fantasy stories that you write. Just wait until you feel that amazing feeling of someone telling you that you're sweet and that you're beautiful for the first time. It will blow your freaking mind, and you will NEVER feel so happy.
Title: Re: What would you tell your pre-transition self?
Post by: Megumi on October 02, 2013, 11:16:31 PM
Post by: Megumi on October 02, 2013, 11:16:31 PM
It's early for me as I'm just making my first step into all of this but the one major thing I wish my current self could tell myself 10 years ago is this.
Don't live a lie, you will only hurt yourself time and again with every thought and desire for happiness but then suppress and hide it away in a dark corner in your soul. The feelings you have will NOT go away, EVER! No matter how much you want them to they never will. You might be able to suppress them and do big macho guy things to show everyone how much of a guy you are. But you'll end up feeling an emptiness that nothing can ever fill no matter what you try to put into it, no physical item can replace the real you. You are going to end up being so sad in life that every time it comes to taking a family picture you physically CAN'T even force a half smile from being in so much agony. Your eyes will tell a story that no words you've ever uttered to the people in your life that do care and ask why you have this look of tremendous pain all the time. You'll lie and say it's because of something that's not really true and then you'll feel bad again, hate yourself for being a coward, and feel disappointed all because you didn't have the courage to tell them the REAL reason why. That moment when you take that first step in setting up your first appointment with a LGBT therapist to start your journey into being the real person that you are will allow you to wake up and actually smile back to the image in the mirror for the first time in many many long years. You don't want to be in agony like this for a decade, just make that first step girl!
Don't live a lie, you will only hurt yourself time and again with every thought and desire for happiness but then suppress and hide it away in a dark corner in your soul. The feelings you have will NOT go away, EVER! No matter how much you want them to they never will. You might be able to suppress them and do big macho guy things to show everyone how much of a guy you are. But you'll end up feeling an emptiness that nothing can ever fill no matter what you try to put into it, no physical item can replace the real you. You are going to end up being so sad in life that every time it comes to taking a family picture you physically CAN'T even force a half smile from being in so much agony. Your eyes will tell a story that no words you've ever uttered to the people in your life that do care and ask why you have this look of tremendous pain all the time. You'll lie and say it's because of something that's not really true and then you'll feel bad again, hate yourself for being a coward, and feel disappointed all because you didn't have the courage to tell them the REAL reason why. That moment when you take that first step in setting up your first appointment with a LGBT therapist to start your journey into being the real person that you are will allow you to wake up and actually smile back to the image in the mirror for the first time in many many long years. You don't want to be in agony like this for a decade, just make that first step girl!
Title: Re: What would you tell your pre-transition self?
Post by: Northern Jane on October 03, 2013, 05:15:59 AM
Post by: Northern Jane on October 03, 2013, 05:15:59 AM
This is an easy one! Without any doubt, I would want to talk to my 8 year old self and tell her:
- you are ABSOLUTELY RIGHT, you are a girl; don't let them confuse you or try to convince you otherwise - it will be a waste of time!
- STAND UP FOR YOURSELF! Those whom you love and trust do NOT know what is good for you and, worse yet, they don't CARE about you, only about themselves. They will badger you about this until you are suicidal and waste many precious years. PUT YOURSELF FIRST! You will have to eventually, in order to survive, so don't waste time. What is being done to you is child abuse and you deserve better!
- There ARE resources out there to help you but you have to DIG for them, you have to be pushy - be pushy! You are entitled.
- Don't ignore the 'social services' - you need a guardian, someone outside of the family who doesn't have a personal agenda and will look out for your well-being. You need a voice, someone on your side!
(I was 8 years old in 1957 and didn't transition until 24 - just about didn't make it!)
- you are ABSOLUTELY RIGHT, you are a girl; don't let them confuse you or try to convince you otherwise - it will be a waste of time!
- STAND UP FOR YOURSELF! Those whom you love and trust do NOT know what is good for you and, worse yet, they don't CARE about you, only about themselves. They will badger you about this until you are suicidal and waste many precious years. PUT YOURSELF FIRST! You will have to eventually, in order to survive, so don't waste time. What is being done to you is child abuse and you deserve better!
- There ARE resources out there to help you but you have to DIG for them, you have to be pushy - be pushy! You are entitled.
- Don't ignore the 'social services' - you need a guardian, someone outside of the family who doesn't have a personal agenda and will look out for your well-being. You need a voice, someone on your side!
(I was 8 years old in 1957 and didn't transition until 24 - just about didn't make it!)
Title: Re: What would you tell your pre-transition self?
Post by: Jenny07 on October 03, 2013, 05:32:31 AM
Post by: Jenny07 on October 03, 2013, 05:32:31 AM
Seeing that this is Day one on E, yes after so long finally made it.
I would tell myself 20 years ago to get off your lazy butt and stop making excuses and get on with it and be true to yourself.
The earlier you do it the better the results are so get on with it. It's not as scary as I feared as the fear controlled me for so long.
Only took 6 weeks. Wow.
Yes it takes courage but therapists are understanding and IT wont ever go away and you will be miserable for your whole life pretending to be someone you're not.
I would tell myself 20 years ago to get off your lazy butt and stop making excuses and get on with it and be true to yourself.
The earlier you do it the better the results are so get on with it. It's not as scary as I feared as the fear controlled me for so long.
Only took 6 weeks. Wow.
Yes it takes courage but therapists are understanding and IT wont ever go away and you will be miserable for your whole life pretending to be someone you're not.
Title: Re: What would you tell your pre-transition self?
Post by: anjaq on October 03, 2013, 06:39:52 AM
Post by: anjaq on October 03, 2013, 06:39:52 AM
Of course it depends on how much pre transition my other self would be. If its early enough, I would say
* yes you really are a girl even though you look like a boy
* dont let others tell you otherwise, there are others like you
* People exist who have changed their body to be a girl, you can do it too
* your sexuality then will be nothing to hate anymore
* you will feel good about you and right, you will discover that you really always have been a girl and not a boy who wants to be a girl.
* Dont let them tell you that you have to already know you are a girl, how would you do that if you have not lived as a girl, its ok that for now you feel like you rather want to become a girl. Once you live as a girl, you will discover that this was always how its meant to be
* Get those hormones really soon, every month counts
If I would be talking to my just pre-transition self, I would say similar things but also maybe add some more practical tips.
* take super care you dont gain weight, its way too easy to gain weight as a woman
* dont let it slack on the laser treatments, get it done in 2 years and then do electro, the sooner this is done the better
* Dont be afraid of the voice therapist and stay with her after the first hour, your voice needs a lot of work and doing it just by yourself is not the best option. Its going to be the most crucial thing. People will tell you surgery of the voice does not work, but dont be too afraid, just wait a few years.
* Consider not choosing Dr XXXX for SRS, he is good but has his bad days.
* Go out more as long as you are young and dont shy back from entering relationships even though you may not know yet if you like boys or girls.
* And yes, you are going to pass
* Oh and your mom will come around in time, your dad will take a while longer but even he will come around and accept you as his daughter. He likes you to do the education or carrer thing though, but thats not a problem for you, you are a smart girl and can make your dad proud of his daughter. Oh and your sister is going to marry and have a kid, so no sweat about ending the family heritage by doing SRS.
:) - thats fun.
* yes you really are a girl even though you look like a boy
* dont let others tell you otherwise, there are others like you
* People exist who have changed their body to be a girl, you can do it too
* your sexuality then will be nothing to hate anymore
* you will feel good about you and right, you will discover that you really always have been a girl and not a boy who wants to be a girl.
* Dont let them tell you that you have to already know you are a girl, how would you do that if you have not lived as a girl, its ok that for now you feel like you rather want to become a girl. Once you live as a girl, you will discover that this was always how its meant to be
* Get those hormones really soon, every month counts
If I would be talking to my just pre-transition self, I would say similar things but also maybe add some more practical tips.
* take super care you dont gain weight, its way too easy to gain weight as a woman
* dont let it slack on the laser treatments, get it done in 2 years and then do electro, the sooner this is done the better
* Dont be afraid of the voice therapist and stay with her after the first hour, your voice needs a lot of work and doing it just by yourself is not the best option. Its going to be the most crucial thing. People will tell you surgery of the voice does not work, but dont be too afraid, just wait a few years.
* Consider not choosing Dr XXXX for SRS, he is good but has his bad days.
* Go out more as long as you are young and dont shy back from entering relationships even though you may not know yet if you like boys or girls.
* And yes, you are going to pass
* Oh and your mom will come around in time, your dad will take a while longer but even he will come around and accept you as his daughter. He likes you to do the education or carrer thing though, but thats not a problem for you, you are a smart girl and can make your dad proud of his daughter. Oh and your sister is going to marry and have a kid, so no sweat about ending the family heritage by doing SRS.
:) - thats fun.
Title: Re: What would you tell your pre-transition self?
Post by: suzifrommd on October 03, 2013, 06:47:31 AM
Post by: suzifrommd on October 03, 2013, 06:47:31 AM
Quote from: Jenny07 on October 03, 2013, 05:32:31 AM
Seeing that this is Day one on E, yes after so long finally made it.
Oh Jenny, congratulations.
Title: Re: What would you tell your pre-transition self?
Post by: Alice Rogers on October 03, 2013, 06:49:28 AM
Post by: Alice Rogers on October 03, 2013, 06:49:28 AM
Do it 20 years sooner!
Title: Re: What would you tell your pre-transition self?
Post by: Charley Bea(EmeraldP) on October 03, 2013, 08:12:57 AM
Post by: Charley Bea(EmeraldP) on October 03, 2013, 08:12:57 AM
Too early on to say but if I could say anything to my younger self it would be "Speak up sooner even though you have no idea what is going on someone might."
Title: What would you tell your pre-transition self?
Post by: Zumbagirl on October 03, 2013, 11:01:54 AM
Post by: Zumbagirl on October 03, 2013, 11:01:54 AM
I would say,
Don't be afraid. There is nothing to be afraid of. The first step is the hardest, but it's really not that hard at all.
Don't hide yourself away from the world just because you think you are different.
Everything you ever thought about your gender is true, you really are a girl so stop wasting time trying to hide it by burying yourself in other male dominated activities.
Don't live your life to make other people happy. It only makes you more and more miserable. You can measure up to all of the successes that everyone expects of you, but it still isn't going to matter an iota, you will still be miserable.
When you start on your journey don't sit there and read the standards of care 5 times a day like its a damn cookbook. Is not that complicated really and it's not even that scary.
That's all I can think of for now :)
Don't be afraid. There is nothing to be afraid of. The first step is the hardest, but it's really not that hard at all.
Don't hide yourself away from the world just because you think you are different.
Everything you ever thought about your gender is true, you really are a girl so stop wasting time trying to hide it by burying yourself in other male dominated activities.
Don't live your life to make other people happy. It only makes you more and more miserable. You can measure up to all of the successes that everyone expects of you, but it still isn't going to matter an iota, you will still be miserable.
When you start on your journey don't sit there and read the standards of care 5 times a day like its a damn cookbook. Is not that complicated really and it's not even that scary.
That's all I can think of for now :)
Title: Re: What would you tell your pre-transition self?
Post by: Dedwards on October 03, 2013, 01:00:35 PM
Post by: Dedwards on October 03, 2013, 01:00:35 PM
- Be strong buddy. We get through this in the end.
- One day, you will get control of your life back. The pain will end. Dad will leave.
- Look after mum. Pour it all away. You know what I mean.
- Come out as soon as possible. It'll get you there a lot quicker.
- And in the end? Well.. Spoilers.
- One day, you will get control of your life back. The pain will end. Dad will leave.
- Look after mum. Pour it all away. You know what I mean.
- Come out as soon as possible. It'll get you there a lot quicker.
- And in the end? Well.. Spoilers.
Title: Re: What would you tell your pre-transition self?
Post by: Alara on October 06, 2013, 01:56:41 AM
Post by: Alara on October 06, 2013, 01:56:41 AM
I'm just starting to transition, and I have to say this actually brought a tear of happiness to my eye. Having all these doubts day in and day out sucks and I feel like I'm just a clock stuck in motion. Hearing all of you say that is like hearing it from myself and I can't express how much I'm beaming with joy :)
Title: Re: What would you tell your pre-transition self?
Post by: Gina Taylor on October 23, 2013, 05:03:15 AM
Post by: Gina Taylor on October 23, 2013, 05:03:15 AM
I would have transitioned 30 years ago instead of waiting till now . . .
Title: Re: What would you tell your pre-transition self?
Post by: Ms Grace on October 23, 2013, 06:40:50 AM
Post by: Ms Grace on October 23, 2013, 06:40:50 AM
Well I'd say pretty much all that stuff - but I'd also tell myself the future lottery numbers. Gotta pay for the transition somehow!
Title: Re: What would you tell your pre-transition self?
Post by: Rachel85 on October 23, 2013, 06:55:35 AM
Post by: Rachel85 on October 23, 2013, 06:55:35 AM
Listen to me now...
Dont listen to anyone! :)
Speak up! Be yourself and not what you think people think you should be!
Don't be afraid of learning about yourself and don't be afraid of accepting yourself.
School sucks. don't worry, it's only 12 years...
Those that mind don't matter and those that matter don't mind.
Your family and true friends love you. Never forget that.
Lastly, the winning cross lotto results for tonight are 42 9 26 3 16 27. Buy a ticket.
(OMG, lamest joke ever but I didn't see anyone else say it yet.)
LOL. I'm on my way but still at the beginning too, but I love a good surprise! :)
I've had this theory since I was about 6 that if I saw my future self walking down the street I wouldn't recognise myself. Haha! So true! :)
Dont listen to anyone! :)
Speak up! Be yourself and not what you think people think you should be!
Don't be afraid of learning about yourself and don't be afraid of accepting yourself.
School sucks. don't worry, it's only 12 years...
Those that mind don't matter and those that matter don't mind.
Your family and true friends love you. Never forget that.
Lastly, the winning cross lotto results for tonight are 42 9 26 3 16 27. Buy a ticket.
(OMG, lamest joke ever but I didn't see anyone else say it yet.)
Quote from: Dedwards on October 03, 2013, 01:00:35 PM
- And in the end? Well.. Spoilers.
LOL. I'm on my way but still at the beginning too, but I love a good surprise! :)
I've had this theory since I was about 6 that if I saw my future self walking down the street I wouldn't recognise myself. Haha! So true! :)
Title: Re: What would you tell your pre-transition self?
Post by: Rachel85 on October 23, 2013, 06:56:40 AM
Post by: Rachel85 on October 23, 2013, 06:56:40 AM
Quote from: Grace_C on October 23, 2013, 06:40:50 AM
Well I'd say pretty much all that stuff - but I'd also tell myself the future lottery numbers. Gotta pay for the transition somehow!
LOL, I wrote my post while you were writing :)
Great minds think alike?
Title: Re: What would you tell your pre-transition self?
Post by: amZo on October 23, 2013, 09:53:19 AM
Post by: amZo on October 23, 2013, 09:53:19 AM
- Don't increase your calories believing the fat will redistribute to the 'right' areas... they do and they don't... just stay skinny!
- Take your spiro with milk to avoid stomach upset.
- Eat more fiber and drink more water.
- Take fish oil for better skin and hair.
- Good luck.
Title: Re: What would you tell your pre-transition self?
Post by: Incarlina on October 30, 2013, 07:01:27 PM
Post by: Incarlina on October 30, 2013, 07:01:27 PM
1. Take a deep breath
2. Relax
3. It's all going to be ok in the end
2. Relax
3. It's all going to be ok in the end
Title: Re: What would you tell your pre-transition self?
Post by: LordKAT on October 30, 2013, 08:07:37 PM
Post by: LordKAT on October 30, 2013, 08:07:37 PM
You are normal, there are others like you.
Transition is possible.
This is what to do about it, (describe dysphoria and all that goes with it)
Transition is possible.
This is what to do about it, (describe dysphoria and all that goes with it)
Title: Re: What would you tell your pre-transition self?
Post by: Cosi555 on November 15, 2013, 01:58:22 AM
Post by: Cosi555 on November 15, 2013, 01:58:22 AM
im going to print this entire thread off and stick it on my wall for motivation.
this is everything we need to hear when starting out.
we arnt alone, we are loved and its ALL good :)
this is everything we need to hear when starting out.
we arnt alone, we are loved and its ALL good :)
Title: Re: What would you tell your pre-transition self?
Post by: Tristan on November 15, 2013, 06:56:17 PM
Post by: Tristan on November 15, 2013, 06:56:17 PM
dont let doctors and lawyers decide things for you. wait and just go to the facility :-\
Title: Re: What would you tell your pre-transition self?
Post by: Jill F on November 15, 2013, 07:26:42 PM
Post by: Jill F on November 15, 2013, 07:26:42 PM
Impossible is a word only to be found in the dictionary of fools.
This is something I found in a fortune cookie just prior to deciding to make it all permanent. This fortune now covers the name and gender marker of my driver's license.
I thought for years that taking this plunge would amount to nothing but very bad things for me and that I was still better off playing the hand I got dealt. I pushed my gender issues as far back as I could, dismissing transition as something that was absolutely impossible, as well as telling myself for decades that it was impossible that I was truly transgender.
Not only was transitioning possible, it was the best move I ever made for myself. It is nice that my gender issues came to a head when I was finally financially secure enough to make it happen and that my wife stuck with me. Had I transitioned when I was in college, I don't think my life would have turned out as well overall, so I refuse to kick myself for not doing it sooner.
This is not the only fortune from a cookie that I keep. There was another that I got a week before I got married almost 20 years ago that reads, "You and your wife will be happy in your life together." Scary! I always wondered why I opened that one and not my wife-to-be, but now I know it would have been just as valid.
This is something I found in a fortune cookie just prior to deciding to make it all permanent. This fortune now covers the name and gender marker of my driver's license.
I thought for years that taking this plunge would amount to nothing but very bad things for me and that I was still better off playing the hand I got dealt. I pushed my gender issues as far back as I could, dismissing transition as something that was absolutely impossible, as well as telling myself for decades that it was impossible that I was truly transgender.
Not only was transitioning possible, it was the best move I ever made for myself. It is nice that my gender issues came to a head when I was finally financially secure enough to make it happen and that my wife stuck with me. Had I transitioned when I was in college, I don't think my life would have turned out as well overall, so I refuse to kick myself for not doing it sooner.
This is not the only fortune from a cookie that I keep. There was another that I got a week before I got married almost 20 years ago that reads, "You and your wife will be happy in your life together." Scary! I always wondered why I opened that one and not my wife-to-be, but now I know it would have been just as valid.
Title: Re: What would you tell your pre-transition self?
Post by: Ashey on November 15, 2013, 08:27:33 PM
Post by: Ashey on November 15, 2013, 08:27:33 PM
To my 5-year-old self: "You're a bit too young to understand the way you feel but just remember to always be yourself."
To my 8-year-old self: "Keep playing as the pink power ranger." :)
To my 10-year-old self: "You don't need to keep crying yourself to sleep wishing you were a girl. Be strong and BE that girl. Read about transsexuals and hormones. There are things you can do!"
To my 13-year-old self: "I know you hate your body, but please.. don't bottle it all up. You WILL survive high school, but you don't need to pretend to be someone you're not.."
To my 20-year-old self: "I told you not to bottle it all up! But now that you know you want to transition, DO IT! Mom and dad aren't going to hate you or disown you. You can do this!"
To my 26-year-old self: "Ugh, just hurry up and find a therapist! The money you're wasting on ordering out could easily cover the costs!" >.<
To my 8-year-old self: "Keep playing as the pink power ranger." :)
To my 10-year-old self: "You don't need to keep crying yourself to sleep wishing you were a girl. Be strong and BE that girl. Read about transsexuals and hormones. There are things you can do!"
To my 13-year-old self: "I know you hate your body, but please.. don't bottle it all up. You WILL survive high school, but you don't need to pretend to be someone you're not.."
To my 20-year-old self: "I told you not to bottle it all up! But now that you know you want to transition, DO IT! Mom and dad aren't going to hate you or disown you. You can do this!"
To my 26-year-old self: "Ugh, just hurry up and find a therapist! The money you're wasting on ordering out could easily cover the costs!" >.<