Community Conversation => Transitioning => Coming out of the closet => Topic started by: BeefxCake on September 25, 2013, 07:05:02 PM Return to Full Version
Title: Trickling out of the closet.
Post by: BeefxCake on September 25, 2013, 07:05:02 PM
Post by: BeefxCake on September 25, 2013, 07:05:02 PM
so lately I have been trying to get a sort of ring of supportive friends in on my early transitioning. they all been super supportive, i've told about 5 people outside of my family. and they are nothing but kind. they all asked if I wanted to be called something else other than my name and use certain pronouns. i told them at this point in time im still kind of in the closet and that once I am out to more people i would ask for them to use the right pronouns and they were all totally fine with that. more happy for me for coming to terms with myself and my identity. honestly one friend wasn't even suprised. wanted to take me shopping for mens clothes ASAP. pretty funny responseXD but I love them all to bits for it.
anyway. each time i tell someone it gets easier, i think. when i came out to the first two people i about freaked out almost to tears, shaking everything but after the 5th one i was just kinda like, yeah whatever and they wre just as relaxed about it. so that's been nice, i haven't felt this aleviated in a while. i still have such anchored depression but the weights been lifting as things fall into place and i have no idea why i didn't do it sooner.
as some of you know I have been infatuated by a girl friend of mine. I love her to pieces, i would literally do anything for her if she asked me to. heck i even brought her favorite food to her house yesterday cuz she had a tiny cold. I wouldn't do that for anyone, but i did for her. I feel like, I'm confusing her though. i think she's picking up that i have feelings for her. but i don't know. but also confusing her because I have not told her I am trans. that she's getting all these thoughts that she might be gay when i consider myself a straight male. but since i haven't told her, she just sees a girl going after her.
I might be overthinking things. but she's leaving on a mission in about a month and I want to tell her before she goes, possibly this friday. not of my feelings for her but of my being trans. i would hate for her to leave then come back and it's like, whoa what i miss. because she will be gone for a year and a half.
I know the mormons are typically anti lgbt in their church and their views on it are odd if not ignorant but she's different. she's so accepting and understanding I just want to tell her everything, but she'll know for sure then that i've had feelings for her.
If i walk up to her on friday and go hey im trans, im a guy and i like girls, im so afraid she's going to get awkward around me just because of all the things we've done, (cuddling, spooning, butt grabbing, back rubs etc. ) and i don't want that to stop but i can't keep it asecret fromher. you can see my pickle here :/
sorry for the ranting.
anyway. each time i tell someone it gets easier, i think. when i came out to the first two people i about freaked out almost to tears, shaking everything but after the 5th one i was just kinda like, yeah whatever and they wre just as relaxed about it. so that's been nice, i haven't felt this aleviated in a while. i still have such anchored depression but the weights been lifting as things fall into place and i have no idea why i didn't do it sooner.
as some of you know I have been infatuated by a girl friend of mine. I love her to pieces, i would literally do anything for her if she asked me to. heck i even brought her favorite food to her house yesterday cuz she had a tiny cold. I wouldn't do that for anyone, but i did for her. I feel like, I'm confusing her though. i think she's picking up that i have feelings for her. but i don't know. but also confusing her because I have not told her I am trans. that she's getting all these thoughts that she might be gay when i consider myself a straight male. but since i haven't told her, she just sees a girl going after her.
I might be overthinking things. but she's leaving on a mission in about a month and I want to tell her before she goes, possibly this friday. not of my feelings for her but of my being trans. i would hate for her to leave then come back and it's like, whoa what i miss. because she will be gone for a year and a half.
I know the mormons are typically anti lgbt in their church and their views on it are odd if not ignorant but she's different. she's so accepting and understanding I just want to tell her everything, but she'll know for sure then that i've had feelings for her.
If i walk up to her on friday and go hey im trans, im a guy and i like girls, im so afraid she's going to get awkward around me just because of all the things we've done, (cuddling, spooning, butt grabbing, back rubs etc. ) and i don't want that to stop but i can't keep it asecret fromher. you can see my pickle here :/
sorry for the ranting.