Community Conversation => Transitioning => Coming out of the closet => Topic started by: Bex on September 28, 2013, 10:08:11 AM Return to Full Version
Title: Coming out to more people
Post by: Bex on September 28, 2013, 10:08:11 AM
Post by: Bex on September 28, 2013, 10:08:11 AM
Hi
I recently came out to my family and a close friend. Over the summer my friend helped me with clothes and make-up and I eventually wore a dress in front of my parents for the first time. My friend and I have both gone back to University at opposite ends of the country so will only see each other infrequently for the next few months and I'm not currently out to anyone at University.
My aim now is to come out to other friends and family, especially housemates, and then hopefully go out in public sometime. In the end I want to be able to dress as a woman whenever I want.
I'm not very confident normally so find it difficult to take large steps like this. I was wondering if anyone has any advice about how to progress, especially people who have decided not to transition and switch between male/female.
Bex
I recently came out to my family and a close friend. Over the summer my friend helped me with clothes and make-up and I eventually wore a dress in front of my parents for the first time. My friend and I have both gone back to University at opposite ends of the country so will only see each other infrequently for the next few months and I'm not currently out to anyone at University.
My aim now is to come out to other friends and family, especially housemates, and then hopefully go out in public sometime. In the end I want to be able to dress as a woman whenever I want.
I'm not very confident normally so find it difficult to take large steps like this. I was wondering if anyone has any advice about how to progress, especially people who have decided not to transition and switch between male/female.
Bex
Title: Re: Re: Coming out to more people
Post by: KabitTarah on September 28, 2013, 11:50:06 AM
Post by: KabitTarah on September 28, 2013, 11:50:06 AM
Quote from: Bex on September 28, 2013, 10:08:11 AM
Hi
I recently came out to my family and a close friend. Over the summer my friend helped me with clothes and make-up and I eventually wore a dress in front of my parents for the first time. My friend and I have both gone back to University at opposite ends of the country so will only see each other infrequently for the next few months and I'm not currently out to anyone at University.
My aim now is to come out to other friends and family, especially housemates, and then hopefully go out in public sometime. In the end I want to be able to dress as a woman whenever I want.
I'm not very confident normally so find it difficult to take large steps like this. I was wondering if anyone has any advice about how to progress, especially people who have decided not to transition and switch between male/female.
Bex
I am 6-10 months away from HRT, though I am planning to transition.
I had to come out to my immediate family and my wife's family (all adults, all married or with a SO). I wrote a few letters before I decided on a final one. I showed the letters to a few friends I'm out to to refine it.
Everyone got their own copy of the letter, and I brought it to them in pairs. I sat there in anxiety while they read it and was open for an hour or more of open questions.
The only people who didn't take it well were the ones I told a month before: my wife and parents. My own situation was complicated by some relationships between our families and by someone I work with (my SIL's SO), but it went well.
Watching them read was painful, but I recommend it. They will acknowledge how hard it is for you to do, and it's good for you to be able to gauge reactions.
I haven't seen most of my wife's side since, but nothing has been awkward yet! :) My wife and parents are the only really awkward relationships, now.
Title: Re: Coming out to more people
Post by: Ltl89 on October 01, 2013, 01:26:56 PM
Post by: Ltl89 on October 01, 2013, 01:26:56 PM
Hey Bex,
Coming out is a very individual and personal thing. As such, it may help to create a plan that would make it comfortable for both you and the person you come out to. This may differ from person to person; and depending on the nature of your relationship, you may need to be treat some more delicately than others. Do you have a therapist? They may help you develop a strategy for each person you hope to tell.
Good luck and wishing you the best! :)
Coming out is a very individual and personal thing. As such, it may help to create a plan that would make it comfortable for both you and the person you come out to. This may differ from person to person; and depending on the nature of your relationship, you may need to be treat some more delicately than others. Do you have a therapist? They may help you develop a strategy for each person you hope to tell.
Good luck and wishing you the best! :)