Susan's Place Transgender Resources

I really don't know how to feel about my 'parts', some days I hate them, other days I sort of forget about them, I know I hate erections to the point where I have almost entirely trained them away.

I KNOW that if the SRS were a less traumatic experience I would go for it in a flash, but really the surgery is MASSIVE and has some truly petrifying horror stories attached to it. I mean no matter how wrong my 'bits' seem to fit me right now at least I can feel sexual pleasure through them.

Where does that put me? Is it normal to think about keeping them simply because the SRS is such a HUGE deal or am I just being a wuss.

All I know is that if I pass in public I might be able to live with keeping the 'extra' flesh down there, or can I? Hell I don't know......

seams normal to me. Alot of FTMs dosent do bottom surgery either as its a pretty complicated surgery.

I feel very diffrent about what I got from day to day. somethimes I forget about it, somethimes I hate it some times I feel totally fine with what I got.

We should swap....

I have to go all the way with SRS. My parts are a sad constant reminder of what I was raised as. I hate to feel them down their, when I sit, stand, move. I hate them. It's almost like they mock me all day and all night. I will love it when they are gone. Good riddance. Even with all the stories, it is worth the risk to me. I am dedicated and focused on what I need to do. If something does happen, as long as they are gone I will be just fine.

I feel like that some days, then other days I get scared, then other days a feel numb about it. I have hurt myself in the past and even come close to cutting off the blood supply to them, what stopped me was knowing I will one day need the skin from them to make my 'right' bits.

And I do so want to feel my boyfriend 'inside' me (other than anal that is)

I could live with it being the wrong shape, but I've decided not to. I'll have enough money saved up and I've decided that's how I want to spend it.

It took a while to get to this point. I had to go through all the downsides to the surgery and make my peace with them one by one.

I guess I am lucky, although I have to jump through a LOT of hoops thanks to the NHS I get all my treatment for free.

I HATE my genitalia.  Hate it.  I don't want to get into it too deeply, but for most of my life I had a genitial defect that ultimately required corrective surgery.  So, imagine overwhelming body dysphoria on top of feeling like a weirdo that's different from all the other normal people.  It's "fixed" now, but doesn't resemble the right part yet.  Oh well, SRS will come soon enough.  Despite my poverty, I'll make it happen one way or another, lol. 

Surgery on that part of the body isn't easy physically or emotionally.  Make sure you know what you want for a fact before signing up for it.  There is no taking back your decision.  Some of us will be glad, others may not.  Just wanted to throw on a disclaimer because SRS is a very individual thing and people should follow through with what suits them best.

It needs to get fixed and bothers me all the more with being in a hospital where it is seen way too often by others.  Money is too elusive and insurance isn't being helpful for trans things and leaves way more out of pocket than I can afford for even non Trans stuff..

I'm like you too. Right now, it doesn't bother me so much. I'm not on HRT yet, but I suppose I could live with it for the rest of my life if I had to. Saving up for SRS doesn't seem as important as fixing appearance to me (considering my wife is staying with me). Although, if I hit the lottery, I suppose it'd be an option to think about.
I think that SRS could be scary to think about, if you're truly thinking about whether it's right for you or not. But, then again, I think we all got scared at one point or another thinking about changing in the first place. I got scared of coming out, but it was one of the most satisfying things I'd ever done. SRS is major surgery though, and I'll add to the others when I say it should be thought over very carefully. You can retransition back to male if female isn't right for you, but I doubt anyone would want to go through SRS again, even if they had the money.
Don't overthink it right now. If you start saving a lot of money, perhaps it's worth the thought. Final word: if you have doubts, don't do it! (Unless you have a time machine to go backwards and undo it)

I could not stand them. It was the #1 force in my dysphoria. I took the time to work with my great team of gatekeepers and get to the end of my dysphoria via GRS.

SRS/GRS is truly in todays day and age just a walk in the park. For MTF you go asleep as a M bits and wake up 1-1/2-2 hrs as a F bits.
For the MTF is less a issue then what the FTM have to go through.

For me it was a 1 surgery down stairs event but for the FTM it can be up to 5 and that is more greater risk factor each time you do go under.

Yes any surgery runs risks. Yes it is a major surgery and one not to enter into lightly.  I am lets say 50ish and had not one issue, but also i had my GCS done by one of the pioneers in the field and i think that makes a huge difference. For me pain was not at all what i thought it would be. Just healing is a very long process and you need to listen to your body through out the whole post process.

You need to do what you feel is what you need to be happy. Everyone responds to healing different.

I now look in the mirror and see the bits i was supposed to have.
Izzy

I didn't *hate* them; it was more like I wanted what was supposed to be there than that I couldn't stand what was. Eventually, though, it got to the point where I did really NEED to fix things. I won't try to talk you into anything, but for my own anecdote I'm an anti-horror story; very, very pleased with the results of GRS and fully functional in all respects. I actually expected it to be much more of a gigantic deal. I will say, though, that I was terrified of having any kind of surgery and definitely second-guessed myself a lot as the date approached, so it's not true that "everyone" is 100% certain and unafraid.

(Izzy, I think only Brassard is that fast. 🙂 I hear typical is more like 6-8 hours!)

I'd much rather have "other parts" down there; but I don't really have any animosity towards them - other than the fact that certain articles of clothing don't fit as well as they should or show more than they should. :)

I wish we could transplant them to each other 🙁

I only feel anything when I think about it. So I try not to think about it.

I wouldn't say that I despised what I had, so much as I desperately missed what I didn't. It was a really big deal for me, and despite some minor issues, I'm super happy with the results. I'm comfortable with my flesh in a way that I never was before.

That said, SRS is not time sensitive the way HRT is. Take your time to make sure it is the right choice for you. And there can be a bit of undue pressure towards SRS in trans communities, just because the people who want it often REALLY want it--like me. It's major surgery with some serious potential complications, a long recovery period and some degree of required maintenance for the rest of your life. I wouldn't say don't have any doubts, because you are always going to have doubts, but do be a bit careful.

Basically, if you believe it will help you to feel better about your body and you understand and accept the costs, go for it.

Downstairs mixup? someone's seen The Mighty Boosh :laugh:

I'm good with half of my genitals half the time. I hate the testes but the rest of it seems to work for me most of the time. Though sometimes dysphoria gets the best of me.

Quote from: mind is quiet now on October 03, 2013, 11:51:58 AM
I could not stand them. It was the #1 force in my dysphoria. I took the time to work with my great team of gatekeepers and get to the end of my dysphoria via GRS.

SRS/GRS is truly in todays day and age just a walk in the park. For MTF you go asleep as a M bits and wake up 1-1/2-2 hrs as a F bits.

Yeah - for me it was a huge part of the dysphoria as well. I could not stand it. Yes I had feeling and was afraid to loose that with SRS, but other than that there was nothing I wanted to save about that. Its funny - now that its gone for 13 years I cannot even really imagine having this. It just does not go into my mind if I try to - like I used to imagine how it is the other way round, pre-everything, I imagined how it is now - and I could and it is now like I imagined it - the other way around it does not work even though I should have the memory...
That said, I was scared of SRS as anyone else I guess. I was unsure if it really is for me until some months before the date when I made a decision in a moment of severe confusion and dysphoria and fear - It was a "hitting the bottom" moment at which i just could make a decision or be smashed inside. And it was the best - once I made the decision all things fell into place and SRS was the best thing I did in that time - even though some of it went really wrong and had to be fixed.

But are you saying that SRS nowadays takes only 2 hours? Did i get that right? I was under for 9 hours I believe. I really missed something that happened in the past decade that cut the time down that much. :o

Quote from: mind is quiet now on October 03, 2013, 11:51:58 AM
I now look in the mirror and see the bits i was supposed to have.

Yeah right I also "look in the mirror"  😀 - Ok that and really - if I sleep I sometimes think of my body and I remember that sleeping on the side as I often do now feels so natural, some fleeting memory on how it used to be when I was disturbed by dysphoria in old times, reminding me of the good decision I made. I do not just see that in the mirror, I FEEL it whenever my mind checks what my body does, I just feel how this is my real body now and the memories give me a short dark glimpse of how it would feel now to still be dysphoric and the contrast to that makes me happy in that moment 😀

Before I started transition it was mostly sense of detachment and ambivalence they were just there and served various purposes, but my genitalia never seemed like a part of me. Honestly I feel my prosthetic eye was more a part of me than my "parts".

As I have progressed and become more solid in my identity as a female I have become progressively annoyed by their presence and on bad days I'm painfully resentful of them. Now I simply want them fixed.

No desire for downstairs surgery here.  For me, my dysphoria is more related to how I'm treated by others, and how I'm perceived in society.  Nobody needs to know what I've got - or not got - between my legs to see me as female.  I've never seen 99.99999% of women I know naked, nor does it concern me what's inside their underpants; to me, they are still women.

That said, for everything else - boobs, facial features, etc. - I'm 100% all about changing those because those are things that directly affect how my family, friends, co-workers and strangers see and treat me.

But I fully understand those who have worse physical dysphoria than me, and it's a problem I'm glad I don't have to deal with.  The SRS process seems difficult at best, and something I'm happy to not need - now, at least!

Given a choice, I'd love for the penis to be gone and replaced with what should be there.  But given my situation, I see there being far bigger bangs for the buck in terms of money and effort and results in the things that people can see rather than the things they can't.

I don't think I have dysphoria at all. I certainly don't have any animosity towards my male genitals. In fact the whole non-binary thing is a massive interest to me and makes me feel like I'm less alone. As mentioned above I want to be perceived as female. What is between my legs holds no real sway in my want to BE female. So when my doctor asked me if I would be willing to pay privately for SRS I was like...um....Yes?

I honestly don't want it right now, maybe later on that will change but right now I'm happy to have a girl cock

I'm like [the op] alexjrogers, I also hate erections. It's a thing my genitals do that I can't control and it really bothers me. It doesn't help when you're wearing tight clothes and your member decides to go stiff, neither does it help when you go to the toilet, however you use it. It's like trying to put a cat into a travel box, it just doesn't want to go in there. I've never had sexual intercourse (nor have I ever had a girlfriend, it just doesn't feel right to me) and never intend to do so, it's like... yuck. :s

If I were to ever go on hrt, I'd seriously consider getting rid of them. It's not that I hate my genitals, I'm actually indifferent to them. It's just that I hate erections and would want my appearance as a woman to be complete, rather than dangly or stiff, if you catch my drift. ;)

Chris

Quote from: Madison Leigh on October 03, 2013, 06:05:36 PM
I'd much rather have "other parts" down there; but I don't really have any animosity towards them - other than the fact that certain articles of clothing don't fit as well as they should or show more than they should. :)

This is pretty much how I feel about mine.

for some reason, the thread's header make me want to scream "because I'm old Greg!!" -http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eIInySnQe4I

but all seriousness how I felt about the mix-up? it had to go, if I didn't get srs to fix it I'm am positive I wouldn't be alive. just as others have said it was a huge part of my dysphoria, and it finally got to the point that I had to do something about it or I was going to be a statistic, and well here I am, happier than any other time  in my life, and slowly it the time of "before" is  fading in my mind, and now seems as just a dream that wasn't even real, I cant even remember how it was before  ^-^

Quote from: anjaq on October 03, 2013, 08:06:05 PM
Yeah - for me it was a huge part of the dysphoria as well. I could not stand it. Yes I had feeling and was afraid to loose that with SRS, but other than that there was nothing I wanted to save about that. Its funny - now that its gone for 13 years I cannot even really imagine having this. It just does not go into my mind if I try to - like I used to imagine how it is the other way round, pre-everything, I imagined how it is now - and I could and it is now like I imagined it - the other way around it does not work even though I should have the memory...
That said, I was scared of SRS as anyone else I guess. I was unsure if it really is for me until some months before the date when I made a decision in a moment of severe confusion and dysphoria and fear - It was a "hitting the bottom" moment at which i just could make a decision or be smashed inside. And it was the best - once I made the decision all things fell into place and SRS was the best thing I did in that time - even though some of it went really wrong and had to be fixed.

But are you saying that SRS nowadays takes only 2 hours? Did i get that right? I was under for 9 hours I believe. I really missed something that happened in the past decade that cut the time down that much. :o
Yeah right I also "look in the mirror"  😀 - Ok that and really - if I sleep I sometimes think of my body and I remember that sleeping on the side as I often do now feels so natural, some fleeting memory on how it used to be when I was disturbed by dysphoria in old times, reminding me of the good decision I made. I do not just see that in the mirror, I FEEL it whenever my mind checks what my body does, I just feel how this is my real body now and the memories give me a short dark glimpse of how it would feel now to still be dysphoric and the contrast to that makes me happy in that moment :D

not everything you said is the same but a huge part of what you wrote seems like it is coming from my mind 😛 oh and 2 hour srs ??? 😮 who is that doctor?  mine was 8-9hrs as well

I'm with calico, it's got to go as I hate it and always have.
Surgery doesn't scare me as it's necessary. Anyway I have already had surgery more than a few time so been there done that.
Just another operation in my mind. I would like to get rid of the T factory sooner though.
I look forward to the day I cant remember it.  🙂

I've hated the damned thing ever since it started growing and getting erections in the first place. The first 5 or so years after puberty were an absolute nightmare for me, feeling like I wanted to rip the damned thing off every single time it expanded when I didn't want it too. I've always felt like erections, and having external genitals at all, was wrong. I've been tucking myself since I was a kid. And while hormones have indeed made it much easier to deal with recently, I still hate it, still want it gone, and the happiest dreams of my life are almost always the ones where I have a vagina instead. (I have those dreams a lot.)

SRS is the part of transition that I've wanted the most ever since I started having trans desires in the first place. So much so that even in the midst of my biggest period of denial, refusing to admit that I wanted to be a girl, I was still seriously considering getting a castration and penectomy anyway. (Which is why I was a member of the Eunuch Archive for years.) That's how strongly I've always felt about it.

I hate it this morning  ??? Every damn inch of it, one of those days I guess, just want to put my skinny jeans on without it showing up!

I guess maybe I'm not so worried about my genitals because when not aroused it isn't very big. So when wearing skinnys and things its easy to hide the bulge. I can imagine if I was bigger though it would be a horrible thing to have to deal with every day

It's just getting in the way today DAMMIT!

I hate it also the constant reminder I am not complete gives me misery, unfortunately I fear I may never be able to afford surgery which is also depressing. On top of that I feel I do not even have an androgynous face so I feel I will never pass(as they say). Some of the best transitions I have seen were with people that looked androgynous from the start.

The sooner I can get the surgery the better but as I said I feel I may never be able to afford it and that brings me down hard.

I'm not really sure what I think down there, any more.

I love to be tucked and flat. It's an absolutely amazing feeling to put my hand on my pants and realize there's nothing there... but it chafes and hurts sometimes (I think I need a comfortable panty liner or something - I've also been using tissue for comfort and dryness).

I've never hated it, though... but my dysphoria there is changing. I would love to get the surgery, but I'm not at any point where I can make that decision rationally. I need HRT and a feminine body first -- so in a year I'll start thinking about it. I basically told my therapist that when he asked - yes, I'd like to complete that part of my body... but no, I'm not tying that to my identity. For me, I think it comes down more to sexuality than anything else (talk about something else in flux for me...).

I will say... My big E present to myself is going to be one of those hitachi things! 😉

I love how different we all are! Take that homogeneity! 😀

My surgery time was about 1 hr 45 min. Total time 3 hrs and back in the room. Dr. Brassard said it is normaly around 2 hrs long.

Izzy

Some things are easy to ignore, and some things not.

I wake in the morning and it is always the same damned thing. I mean ->-bleeped-<-, I feel like a wife with an annoying horny husband. Do me do me do me, oh for god's sake will you leave me alone!
It used to bug me, and I finally decided it was just easier to just get off, not think about it too much and just make it shut up.

At my current age and in my current health, once in the morning and the thing basically won't be ready again till the next morning. 30 minutes and I get to escape him for the day. It takes a lot of dedicated effort to change that.

There simply is no danger in my case. I couldn't care less if the thing fails to work after hormone treatment. In fact, while I'd like a vagina understandably, I'd settle for nothing. Take the damned thing will ya doc. At least ordinary wives can boot their husbands out.

Regardless of whether or not it makes a fuss though, it's as thrilling as a house guest that simply won't get lost. I don't care it if it isn't bothering anyone else that it's there, it sure is bothering me!

I know this much, any dialogue, any discussion any of the professional community will be having with me will be forced to accept, I consider that part of me utterly unwelcome. Not reservations. I'd go under the knife today if you could make it happen.

Quote from: Lesley_Roberta on October 04, 2013, 10:39:31 AM
Some things are easy to ignore, and some things not.

I wake in the morning and it is always the same damned thing. I mean ->-bleeped-<-, I feel like a wife with an annoying horny husband. Do me do me do me, oh for god's sake will you leave me alone!
It used to bug me, and I finally decided it was just easier to just get off, not think about it too much and just make it shut up.

At my current age and in my current health, once in the morning and the thing basically won't be ready again till the next morning. 30 minutes and I get to escape him for the day. It takes a lot of dedicated effort to change that.

There simply is no danger in my case. I couldn't care less if the thing fails to work after hormone treatment. In fact, while I'd like a vagina understandably, I'd settle for nothing. Take the damned thing will ya doc. At least ordinary wives can boot their husbands out.

Regardless of whether or not it makes a fuss though, it's as thrilling as a house guest that simply won't get lost. I don't care it if it isn't bothering anyone else that it's there, it sure is bothering me!

I know this much, any dialogue, any discussion any of the professional community will be having with me will be forced to accept, I consider that part of me utterly unwelcome. Not reservations. I'd go under the knife today if you could make it happen.

LOL! I love your personification of Mr. Husband. I hope he returns the favor once in a while!

And it makes sense to me... but in terms of that returned favor - I'm hoping (and all reports say yes) that Estrogen will give me girl parts. Not physically, of course, but sensationally. I'm trans. I'll always be trans. Unless I need the penetration (maybe... we'll see) there might not be a need.

Quote from: Lesley_Roberta on October 04, 2013, 10:39:31 AM
I wake in the morning and it is always the same damned thing. I mean ->-bleeped-<-, I feel like a wife with an annoying horny husband. Do me do me do me, oh for god's sake will you leave me alone!

Hehe yeah that is a great description. I guess any woman can relate to that one who ever had a BF or husband like that 😉 - and the worst is that he usually does not take no for an answer. :s

Quote from: mind is quiet now on October 04, 2013, 09:18:49 AM
My surgery time was about 1 hr 45 min. Total time 3 hrs and back in the room. Dr. Brassard said it is normaly around 2 hrs long.

Envious. What does he make different? I mean its all the same procedure more or less. I had a numb sore spot on my back for many months post-op from the 8 hours or what it was on that table.

Quote from: Carrie Liz on October 04, 2013, 03:48:08 AM
and the happiest dreams of my life are almost always the ones where I have a vagina instead. (I have those dreams a lot.)

SRS is the part of transition that I've wanted the most ever since I started having trans desires in the first place. So much so that even in the midst of my biggest period of denial, refusing to admit that I wanted to be a girl, I was still seriously considering getting a castration and penectomy anyway. (Which is why I was a member of the Eunuch Archive for years.) That's how strongly I've always felt about it.

Yeah - I considered at some time as well to just have it removed somehow. As a teen I was thinking that if I get in an accident, maybe..... LOL , like in a bad hollywood movie or something ;)

Oh but by the way - did anyone post op have these nightmares? I have them very rarely, even nowadays. When you walk around in the dream and do your stuff and you notice that they did not really manage to get the SRS right and instead you still either have "it" or some minimized version of it and you feel just horrible and cry and get terrible dysphoria and then luckily you can wake up, check and be glad that it was just a very bad dream...

About an hour and a half for me with Brassard too, I was told : I went under around 12:30 pm, was in recovery by 2 pm. :)  Heck, he did FIVE women that day, starting at 7 am, and I was the last!

My guess, and it's just a guess, is that it's partly because he works with Dr. Belanger, and they probably do things faster as a team. I do know his speed is one reason I chose him, since less time under = fewer risks and complications of anesthesia. (He also combines a light "twilight sleep" sort of sedation with an epidural [like you get in pregnancy] rather than full general anesthesia. This usually has fewer complications as well.)

I have an uneasy truce with mine.  I hate that it gets in the way.  I long for it to be replaced with the proper parts.

At home I am now in "girl mode" 100% of the time.  I still present at work as a male.  While I was in denial of my dysphoria I *still* wished it gone, but played the role of a rightful owner.  As I've gotten more in touch with myself, my desire to see it (or use it, even) has completely dissipated.  Which is sad, in a way, because my girlfriend (who is bi) is a big fan of genital to genital contact.  So, I sometimes pretend it is a very lifelike strap-on, which helps.  I'd say 90-95% of the time we have pretty normal lesbian sex, but every now and then I use the "strap on", and she appreciates it.

It doesn't make me sick to use it, but it's pretty "meh" to me.  Since I don't yet have the proper equipment, I guess it's better than nothing.

Then again, I tuck every day, always sit to pee since I came out to myself, and am kind-of happy that, with the exception of tucking, I never have to touch it at all.  I stay pretty much tucked in panties, even in bed (I used to sleep commando-style... I'm sure I will again, one day, when all is right with that part of my world).

I will probably get an orchiectomy after 6 months of HRT (when they're dead anyway and there should be no objections).  Then it will be a matter of racing to finish my savings while there's still enough of "Mr. Happy" left to invert.

Of course I also have the worry, that I get the surgery and then I turn into a horny woman that can't keep her panties on for 5 minutes without wanting to fiddle with herself :)

I've known girl friends of the cis female sort that spend their days mostly with nothing on but a shirt essentially playing most of the day.

I'll cross that bridge though when I get there.

I really, really don't like what I have and what I don't have. My biggest desires are T and top surgery, because those will have more of an affect on how people perceive and treat me and on my physical comfort. But I do really want bottom surgery someday, I don't think I can live the rest of my life with my downstairs shaped like it is now.

It's great to hear some different perspectives on this, from both sides of the coin (MtF and FtM)

I thought I was odd that I don't necessarily hate it all the time, as I mentioned in my opening post its the erections I dislike more than anything.

One thing I want to pass on to you other girls out there is that I have successfully trained my erections away with about a 95% success, that is to say it doesn't go hard every time I am aroused and I NEVER get unsolicited erections any more. Certain things will set the little bugger off but I am too busy enjoying myself when that does happen.

Another footnote, if you tuck it between your legs and press your hand over it you can masturbate and climax wonderfully with the rubbing motions much akin to our genetic girl friends!

Quote from: Lesley_Roberta on October 04, 2013, 08:29:48 PM
Of course I also have the worry, that I get the surgery and then I turn into a horny woman that can't keep her panties on for 5 minutes without wanting to fiddle with herself :)

Now if that is your main concern... :laugh: you are fine ;)
I had a GF like that - she could not stand that I had more days without the desire to do this than days I wanted it - didnt match up, sadly

I hate that damn thing and I want it gone.

The act of intercourse before my "rebirth" always seemed unnatural, awkward, and wrong....like trying to paint a picture with mechanic's tools (Even though I was apparently pretty good at it).

But it has been many, many years now since I have even tried. I don't have any desire to use what I was born with at all...even satisfying myself is impossible.

I won't even consider a relationship, or sexual satisfaction again until I have the proper parts. I realize this will be a few years from now, and I'm fine with that, if a bit impatient. I want to live as a whole person, and I bitterly regret not realizing or admitting to myself what was wrong with me years ago. So much of my life wasted trying to be something that I am not.

I only hope that it is not too late to live a normal life now, once this deformity has been corrected. I would rather die in surgery than live like this.

Quote from: TaoRaven on October 05, 2013, 09:58:01 AM
I hate that damn thing and I want it gone.

The act of intercourse before my "rebirth" always seemed unnatural, awkward, and wrong....like trying to paint a picture with mechanic's tools (Even though I was apparently pretty good at it).

But it has been many, many years now since I have even tried. I don't have any desire to use what I was born with at all...even satisfying myself is impossible.

I won't even consider a relationship, or sexual satisfaction again until I have the proper parts. I realize this will be a few years from now, and I'm fine with that, if a bit impatient. I want to live as a whole person, and I bitterly regret not realizing or admitting to myself what was wrong with me years ago. So much of my life wasted trying to be something that I am not.

I only hope that it is not too late to live a normal life now, once this deformity has been corrected. I would rather die in surgery than live like this.

I can relate.  I'm a virgin and may very well remain that way until SRS.  Yeah, there are other ways, but the body dysphoria is a huge factor for some of us.

I have to agree, it's very to see interesting how different we are!
As I'm easing myself into life as a male, I find that I don't really mind what's downstairs all that much, probably because I only really have to bother with it once a month. Sometimes, I wish I could have the genitals of a biological man but that's more wishful thinking than anything else. Really, I'm just worried about top surgery and HRT and I'm pretty sure I can ignore the rest and be relatively happy.
You know, I wish it was possible to have, like, a trade system or something. I'd be happy to give my lady parts to a beautiful woman who was meant to be born with them.

OneLateWizard, I am with you most of the way. That day or so of cramps is bad for me, then using tampons for the rest of my shark week is alright.  I do wish ever so often how nice it would be to stand to pee, have dreams of camping and standing outside the tent at night peeing on a tree. Top surgery and T are definitely first on my list.

i don't think about it. honestly the idea of moving things around down there sounds uncomfortable, i don't think i would ever get bottom surgery. but that is just me. plus it's so expensive, for something im not even 100% bothered about. but my problem is opposite yours so i wouldn't know.

Quote from: learningtolive on October 05, 2013, 11:57:23 AM
I can relate.  I'm a virgin and may very well remain that way until SRS.  Yeah, there are other ways, but the body dysphoria is a huge factor for some of us.

Same for me, still a virgin and I've never even kissed a girl or felt in love with one. Even though I'm attracted to men I still don't feel anything desirable as I am right now still being pre everything. I know I'm a heterosexual female and I don't think/feel like I can fall in love with a man until I'm as much of a woman as I can be through the transition phases.

As for what goes on below right now every time it does something I make this face ::) if it weren't needed to be flipped inside out to become a vagina I honestly wouldn't care if the darn thing fell off and I didn't have to deal with it being there anymore.

If you are on HRT for a long time and have a lessened libido you may experience some atrophy or shrinkage. This may make SRS harder the longer it goes on,as there is less material to use then for penile inversion. If you dont do penile inversion as SRS technique I guess it may be less of a problem?

Balls are stupid.  Creationists just need to look down.  What dumb ass puts a dangly bag of ...  duuuhhhhh.... its as bad as the off button on a samsung galaxy being where your index finger goes when you pick it up.

But seriously I dont feel my downstairs bits are mine and SRS is on the cards.  But is not hatred or disgust... the best way to explain it is I dont seem to have the right drivers installed for it.

I have a profound sense of loss at the fact that I'm missing some vital parts of my body that should have always been there. I don't particularly mind the bits that are there, because they're out of sight so I don't have to think about them too much. I just want to get the right equipment in place so that I can take an active, equal part in a loving homosexual relationship. Is that too much to ask? *le dramatic sigh*

However, I'm delighted with the progress I'm making on HRT, and I'm looking forward to getting some surgical reinforcement in a couple of years' time.

when i think about it, what i got downstairs doesn't really bother me. there's just something missing, but i can live without it.

what really bothers me is my chest. not like i'm conscious of it all the time, but i notice very well how much more it bothers me in shower rooms. being pre-everything i of course go to the "right" place. most women i've observed have no problems walking around topless or in their bra, while still wearing their pants. i on the other hand, will take off absolutely everything before i take off my bra. even when taking a shower at home. and the bra is also the first thing that come on.

when i'm naked in dreams, i'll also cover my chest rather than what i (don't) have downstairs.

Quote from: Taka on October 07, 2013, 04:38:04 PM
when i think about it, what i got downstairs doesn't really bother me. there's just something missing, but i can live without it.

what really bothers me is my chest. not like i'm conscious of it all the time, but i notice very well how much more it bothers me in shower rooms. being pre-everything i of course go to the "right" place. most women i've observed have no problems walking around topless or in their bra, while still wearing their pants. i on the other hand, will take off absolutely everything before i take off my bra. even when taking a shower at home. and the bra is also the first thing that come on.

I was the same way.

Quote from: Taka on October 07, 2013, 04:38:04 PM
when i think about it, what i got downstairs doesn't really bother me. there's just something missing, but i can live without it.

what really bothers me is my chest. not like i'm conscious of it all the time, but i notice very well how much more it bothers me in shower rooms. being pre-everything i of course go to the "right" place. most women i've observed have no problems walking around topless or in their bra, while still wearing their pants. i on the other hand, will take off absolutely everything before i take off my bra. even when taking a shower at home. and the bra is also the first thing that come on.

when i'm naked in dreams, i'll also cover my chest rather than what i (don't) have downstairs.

:D The chest is my biggest bit of dysphoria, too! Downstairs is just something extra - it'd be nice to get rid of it... but it may never happen.

Ooohhh its SO frustrating we cant all just swap body parts.
You poor guys have to go through so many procedures,  and have to put up with quite obvious scars too (mind you big scars does add a bit of delta-force bad ass imo).  I would gladly donate you a set of testes if it where possible lads.  :(

Sigh.

I heard someone's doing medical laser printing research... actually printing cells into replacement parts.   Can you imagine what that tech could do for us?

Quote from: Confused87 on October 03, 2013, 09:51:14 PM
I don't think I have dysphoria at all. I certainly don't have any animosity towards my male genitals. In fact the whole non-binary thing is a massive interest to me and makes me feel like I'm less alone. As mentioned above I want to be perceived as female. What is between my legs holds no real sway in my want to BE female. So when my doctor asked me if I would be willing to pay privately for SRS I was like...um....Yes?

I honestly don't want it right now, maybe later on that will change but right now I'm happy to have a girl cock

3 years later and 1.5 years into HRT my position has changed somewhat. I'm not dysphoric about my genitals but it doesn't feel like mine? It's not an important part of who I am anymore and it's awkward during sex as I shouldn't have it and its just in the way. So that's definitely something that changed during transition

I wish I lived on a world where everyone has the same general gender (like dogs or cats - you have to pick them up or look under to see what they are).  There would be no need to transition.  I don't understand this world of male-female duality and the spectrum in between.  I don't belong in this world.  I'm going back to the world I think I came from (pre-birth).  There will be no further reply from me on this thread, nor will I read further on this thread.

Since I'm a lesbian and wanted a family those parts have come in handy,i have no bottom dysphoria learned to live with what I have and I like skin to skin contact and the feel of sex. Sometimes I wish my breasts would have grown more then a borderline B cup but it's the best I have without hrt.

I don't hate my genitals but I really hate "morning wood" it's really embarrassing and uncomfortable...depending on effects of hrt I could live with it .... I think

I'm tired of getting my tweezers out every time I go to pee. Peeing on myself because George isn't long enough to avoid it. I would have srs if it were possible unfortunately for me it is not.

At best they are an inconvenience.

At worst they are painful, bulky, dissociative house guests.

I have managed to house train them, but like a whining dog, they continually find ways to make me aware of them.

Sno.

Yeah - I kind of want my downstairs to match how I feel. Also wish we could just swap. I just hope the day will come (soon) where I can have some girl parts when looking down. Tucking is just not a real good experience for me - I keep feeling it (even more than if I do not tuck) and skinny jeans / swimsuits / most skirts just don't look right.

Well we can donate other organs now so to be honest as long as society will continue to be more accepting and things keep moving in a good direction for the trans community I would not be surprised if the day come where male and female trans could swap parts..from what I've seen it seems that it's not out of the question completely more than likely not in our lifetime...maybe I'm reaching...wishful thinking...

Whn I view my naked body in the mirror, the penis is the only part that does not match the rest of me. All I can do is wish it could be gone, and ask God why it's still there.