Susan's Place Transgender Resources

 Hi , does anyone else utterly hate being male , but not the urge or inclination to go down the gender reassignment route .

Sounds like one very mixed emotion you have there sweetie!

I hated being male for years, gradually worked out that I was indeed in need of my transition.

Not everyone is the same though....

I can relate. Hating being something and actually not feeling like you are something are totally separate things that just sometimes go together.  I think it's perfectly normal to hate being restricted to the social norms of your gender without actually feeling like you shouldn't be that gender.  Just like you can hate being whatever race you are.  It doesn't mean you should try to change your race.  It's more about accepting that its okay to be yourself even if it seems like nobody else will accept it.  Something very difficult to do but if you can manage to do it, you will most likely be happier.

I did not hate being a man because I wasn't. I am a woman trapped in a male exterior that I hated. I never thought of myself as a man, ever. I assimilated into society for a time in that role, but you have to be who you are. You're mind just will not let it go and it can drive you nuts if you try to silence it. Since coming out ( I use the word notifying myself) I have become more relaxed and a MUCH better person to be around. As for hate, it has no place in my vocabulary anymore. I consider myself a loving, caring woman now. I will never go back to being a creature of hate and venom. It is no way to live.

Quote from: Melanie_uk on October 05, 2013, 05:41:50 AM
Hi , does anyone else utterly hate being male , but not the urge or inclination to go down the gender reassignment route .

I hate having gone through male puberty, that's as far as I can go as far as "being a man" goes.
Why do you hate being a man?

What do you hate about being a man?

Sometimes.

Beyond the internal conflicts I feel this makes me hate being a man... http://judgybitch.files.wordpress.com/2013/10/feeemaleprivilege-2.jpg

It just sucks...

I wasn't going to go into it, but female privilege was the reason I said "sometimes". Aside from occasionally thinking it might be pretty cool to have a vagina, I'm not trans and I don't have dysphoria. I just am occasionally frequently jealous of women and have been ever since I was a kid. I witnessed my sister getting pampered and seeming to get more affection and concern for her well-being as a kid and I've always been aware of women having it easier, having lower expectations from society.

Whether you see male privilege or female privilege as preferable seems so dependent on your personal point of view and your own preferences. I would trade my male privilege for female privilege personally but that's just me and it suits my particular personal needs and desires. I don't think I'd personally feel much desire to go prove my value to the world if it weren't pressure by society on males. I'd trade some of that potential to earn respect for some unconditional love and concern for my well-being. I think the most vocal feminists are probably that way because male privilege suits them more and they see this huge imbalance from that particular POV.

It's like if some authority came to my house and announced that I would from now on be receiving two season passes to my favorite football team for life including two tickets to the Superbowl every year. However, I am required to stay after every game and pick up trash for 30 minutes whether I want the tickets or not. That's privilege coupled with a responsibility. A lot of guys would jizz themselves and be thrilled to accept both of those but for me that would SUCK. I don't give a flying fart about football. And if that were a standard thing for guys, most women probably wouldn't care. They wouldn't want the benefit enough to accept the responsibility that came with it. But some women who are big football fans would be outraged, and rightly so.

Of course, I'd rather gender not matter at all. That's my real preference. I'd like to see men treated with more sensitivity and concern and have inherent value simply for being living human beings and I'd like to see expectations and the accompanying respect raised for women.

I couldn't agree more with you dalebert!

Not I.

Quote from: dalebert on October 18, 2013, 11:02:02 AM
I wasn't going to go into it, but female privilege was the reason I said "sometimes". Aside from occasionally thinking it might be pretty cool to have a vagina, I'm not trans and I don't have dysphoria. I just am occasionally frequently jealous of women and have been ever since I was a kid. I witnessed my sister getting pampered and seeming to get more affection and concern for her well-being as a kid and I've always been aware of women having it easier, having lower expectations from society.

Whether you see male privilege or female privilege as preferable seems so dependent on your personal point of view and your own preferences. I would trade my male privilege for female privilege personally but that's just me and it suits my particular personal needs and desires. I don't think I'd personally feel much desire to go prove my value to the world if it weren't pressure by society on males. I'd trade some of that potential to earn respect for some unconditional love and concern for my well-being. I think the most vocal feminists are probably that way because male privilege suits them more and they see this huge imbalance from that particular POV.

It's like if some authority came to my house and announced that I would from now on be receiving two season passes to my favorite football team for life including two tickets to the Superbowl every year. However, I am required to stay after every game and pick up trash for 30 minutes whether I want the tickets or not. That's privilege coupled with a responsibility. A lot of guys would jizz themselves and be thrilled to accept both of those but for me that would SUCK. I don't give a flying fart about football. And if that were a standard thing for guys, most women probably wouldn't care. They wouldn't want the benefit enough to accept the responsibility that came with it. But some women who are big football fans would be outraged, and rightly so.

Of course, I'd rather gender not matter at all. That's my real preference. I'd like to see men treated with more sensitivity and concern and have inherent value simply for being living human beings and I'd like to see expectations and the accompanying respect raised for women.

Wow you are cool as f. Thanks for sharing that

Excellently and concisely put Dalebert!

I agree that's it very much based on personal preferences as to whether a person feels dis-enfranchised or under-privileged due to their gender. Each gender carries its own responsibilities and perks. Currently society decides which you receive based on your biological sex, but it would be wonderful if you yourself could also have a profound say on your preferred gender based on what going to help you thrive and become as productive & positive as a human as possible.

For myself, I'd definitely prefer to be female as the way I want to dress and act, to feel and the jobs I want to do are far more expected and suited to females than to males, both socially and also biologically. Once again, this of course depends on one's view as to what's expected of genders.

Personally, I'm irked about my body. As I'm petite (size UK 6-8) in women's clothes, I look terrible in male-cut clothes, but quite nice in ladies' clothes. However my cunky veins and hairy skin kind of ruin that, so I'm forever looking awkward and ugly in whatever I wear. 

I was never really exactly a man, as the hormones have proven.  Last year I was losing my mind and had to give up on being forced to perform the role of whom I thought I was expected to be.  I really couldn't take another day of pretending to be a guy at all after 6 weeks HRT, so I just quit altogether.  Screw the consequences!

I didn't want to be a man, I wanted to be me. 

It's truly interesting how different everyone's perceptions are.

I looked at that female privilege list and had honestly never even considered any of them. I thought it was a parody, initially.
I've never had any shining experiences due to being female.

In fact, I've found that...

- It's assumed you're stupid until you repeatedly prove otherwise
- You're looked down upon as weaker and less capable
- You're constantly viewed as a victim (I don't consider this a perk by any means)
- Unwavering feelings of vulnerability
- Saying 'no' means you're a b**ch
- Being 'assertive' means you're being a b**ch
- Far more often the victims of domestic violence
- Commonly low self-esteem brought upon by the push to be skinny/gorgeous/big-racked
- Less money earned than similar male counterparts
- Being even slightly overweight is far more scrutinized
- Firmly speaking your mind must mean you're 'ragging' and just laden with hormones
- Painfully bleeding like a gouged aorta every month
- Assumed to love children and seen as a b**ch if otherwise
- "The sisterhood" (I laughed when I saw this one) because women tend to be incredibly gossipy,
backstabby and downright cruel to one another, ESPECIALLY mentally


I could prattle on, but you get the general idea.
It's like the guy said before, though: "Whether you see male privilege or female privilege as preferable seems so dependent on your personal point of view and your own preferences."
I suppose I just don't see the benefits to being female. I'm not trying to dog on anyone, mind you; to each their own.
Maybe I've just had a crappy woman experience. I want my money back.

Quote from: Blinded Wolf on October 30, 2013, 12:19:17 AM
It's truly interesting how different everyone's perceptions are.

I looked at that female privilege list and had honestly never even considered any of them. I thought it was a parody, initially.
I've never had any shining experiences due to being female.

In fact, I've found that...

- It's assumed you're stupid until you repeatedly prove otherwise
- You're looked down upon as weaker and less capable
- You're constantly viewed as a victim (I don't consider this a perk by any means)
- Unwavering feelings of vulnerability
- Saying 'no' means you're a b**ch
- Being 'assertive' means you're being a b**ch
- Far more often the victims of domestic violence
- Commonly low self-esteem brought upon by the push to be skinny/gorgeous/big-racked
- Less money earned than similar male counterparts
- Being even slightly overweight is far more scrutinized
- Firmly speaking your mind must mean you're 'ragging' and just laden with hormones
- Painfully bleeding like a gouged aorta every month
- Assumed to love children and seen as a b**ch if otherwise
- "The sisterhood" (I laughed when I saw this one) because women tend to be incredibly gossipy,
backstabby and downright cruel to one another, ESPECIALLY mentally


I could prattle on, but you get the general idea.
It's like the guy said before, though: "Whether you see male privilege or female privilege as preferable seems so dependent on your personal point of view and your own preferences."
I suppose I just don't see the benefits to being female. I'm not trying to dog on anyone, mind you; to each their own.
Maybe I've just had a crappy woman experience. I want my money back.

Bring it on!  Sign me up.  Sure beats suicide on the installment plan in my case.

Quote from: Blinded Wolf on October 30, 2013, 12:19:17 AM
It's truly interesting how different everyone's perceptions are.
Maybe I've just had a crappy woman experience. I want my money back.

I had to laugh when I saw your post. 

I've been a female for over 40 years, and before that a very feminine boy (not quite - but some will get the message)

Women are extremely competitive.  We are wired to see another and immediately assess whether we are superior or inferior, whether the opposition is competition (or not)

We like to judge other women for what they are wearing.

Men aren't seen the same way.

Personally, I like a tall man who has no sexual proclivities.

I have a sex-change friend whose husband is inclined to sit in front of a computer watching gay-porn for hours, in a frilly negligee.  He works as a panel-beater and I'm told he would die if his family ever found out.

He also wears panties under his jeans.

Yeah, each to their own I suppose!

Quote from: Jill F on October 30, 2013, 01:12:51 AM
Bring it on!  Sign me up.  Sure beats suicide on the installment plan in my case.

I do completely get what you're saying and I realize my above post comes off as a little more than bitter and jaded, but I didn't mean it to be.
I guess my feelings in general with gender dysphoria have led me to feel incredibly more negatively about the female experience than is typical. I can also concede that there are some items on that list which, while still true enough in certain circumstances, may simply be more exacerbated to me.

I do apologize if I indirectly offended anyone with my harsh summary, but I'm finding that this forum is an excellent place to vent things I've been cramming inside for years.

Quote from: Blinded Wolf on October 30, 2013, 01:29:30 AM

I do completely get what you're saying and I realize my above post comes off as a little more than bitter and jaded, but I didn't mean it to be.
I guess my feelings in general with gender dysphoria have led me to feel incredibly more negatively about the female experience than is typical. I can also concede that there are some items on that list which, while still true enough in certain circumstances, may simply be more exacerbated to me.

I do apologize if I indirectly offended anyone with my harsh summary, but I'm finding that this forum is an excellent place to vent things I've been cramming inside for years.

I could easliy refute everything you said, make another list of why it's so awesome to be a girl, then do the same trashing on the male experience.

Beholder... eye... dude...

What can I say?  I'm no dude and happy to be free of all things dudely.  My cisbros and transbros are still my bros though. :)

Quote from: Blinded Wolf on October 30, 2013, 12:19:17 AM
- Far more often the victims of domestic violence

I'm not sure where this perception comes from but I have my theories. Statistically, domestic violence is not gendered. And I suspect male victims under-report because guys are expected to suck it up so to speak and endure it. The expression "never hit a woman" seems to have had a powerful effect on our culture since women are far less likely statistically to be the victims of any violent crime. That includes rape, by the way, assuming you don't use the CDC's definition of rape (you can't be raped unless you've been forcefully penetrated. Forced sex is not defined as rape somehow. With a more broadly accepted notion, the statistics for rape become close to equal, even per the CDC's records.) I think the reason people generally have a perception of violence against women being a particular problem, even though they're victims of violence dramatically less often then men is because society simply cares more when they've been victimized. We've been conditioned to.

Quote- Less money earned than similar male counterparts

This is a highly disputed point.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IMkDEe8ypfU

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EwogDPh-Sow

And there have been such successful feminist programs and focus on women that women are now much more likely to graduate high school, much more likely to enter college, and much more likely to graduate college. About 6 women now graduate college for every 4 men.

There appear to be a lot of perceptions about gender that just aren't accurate. I don't think people are lying. I think there's just a certain narrative that has developed over time and people just honestly feel things to be a certain way, but it's misleading compared to the reality in many cases.

Quote from: dalebert on October 30, 2013, 12:53:24 PM
I'm not sure where this perception comes from but I have my theories. Statistically, domestic violence is not gendered. And I suspect male victims under-report because guys are expected to suck it up so to speak and endure it. The expression "never hit a woman" seems to have had a powerful effect on our culture since women are far less likely statistically to be the victims of any violent crime. That includes rape, by the way, assuming you don't use the CDC's definition of rape (you can't be raped unless you've been forcefully penetrated. Forced sex is not defined as rape somehow. With a more broadly accepted notion, the statistics for rape become close to equal, even per the CDC's records.) I think the reason people generally have a perception of violence against women being a particular problem, even though they're victims of violence dramatically less often then men is because society simply cares more when they've been victimized. We've been conditioned to.

I can see where you're coming from. I'll readily admit to being influenced by the media when it comes to my views on this (incorrectly so, perhaps).
Every time you turn on the TV and a crime show/the news/an investigative documentary comes on, you're instantly barraged with images of bloodied, violated (usually) dead women. As a female currently, I look at things like that and roll my eyes so far back into my skull that I have to have them medically fished out.
My girlfriend and I routinely comment things like, "Oh, look, another dead chick. I wonder if--yep, she was raped. Now there's a plot twist".

To me, it's needlessly perpetuating this 'delicate victim' image that the majority of women I know don't subscribe to and is causing a lot of women to be over-the-top cautious in social situations (thus, resulting in things I saw on that women's privilege list--"not avoided by strangers of the opposite gender", etc) to the point of paranoia.
It's also reinforcing this position of weak helplessness that ultimately doesn't do -anything- positive for a woman's self-perceptions. 

I agree that male violence/rape is highly overlooked. It's not fairly or equally represented in society, but I don't, at all, believe that the media's hard-on with making women seem like sickly little gazelles is a benefit to women so much as an unintended detriment to men.

QuoteHi , does anyone else utterly hate being male , but not the urge or inclination to go down the gender reassignment route.

Definitely! And its a rather bizarre position to be in, isn't it? I feel like I've fallen down the gap in the sofa in the space between the male and female cushions. I used to really be freaked out by this as I couldn't control how I felt alienated from being male, but not feeling an affinity with other women. How you experience and appreciate gender really does depend on the individual. I tended to get misgendered alot as female when I was younger, and I remember feeling humiliated by it because the emphasis was that I was failing as a male. I don't think I've had much in the way of this famous male privilege, apart from being able to walk down streets late at night without worrying.

What I think can be overlooked is how male privilege only applies to males who top of the pack. Skinny and non-aggressive males (like I was) don't tend to get much in the way of benefits. I tend to be seen as stupid and ineffectual and always have to prove myself first, which is very similar to what is listed as a female issue here. As for weight, it works differently. As a woman you have to be thinner or hourglass shaped according to beauty culture, but for men, men have to be well-built with muscle as deemed by popular culture. So there's exactly the same pressures, just over different ideals. Trust me on this, women are just as scathing about skinny or fat men as men are about overweight or small-busted women.

As for the money side of things, I've noticed that A: the female students who studied the college courses with us secured jobs first over the males, and B: in catering women make far more in tips than the men do, and are usually hired over the males due to the extra revenue they will raise. So in my experience, it has actually paid more (literally) to be female in the media sector and catering/hospitality sectors.

I'm not discounting anyone's accounts or being argumentative (as I said earlier my experience will be different to everyone else's), I'm just mentioning that surprisingly there are perks to being a Western female over being an average male, especially in this day and age.  However I will agree that as soon as a woman enters big business where there are alpha males, I can imagine that must be super tough and that there is a pay divide.

I am at peace with myself as a transgender woman. I never hated being male; I prefer being a woman.  I feel complete and have been liberated from what society says I should be.


:)

This reminds me of when my wife and I were watching Orange is the New Black. There's a transgender inmate on the show and they did a flashback on her getting dressed with the help of her wife and they were talking about having her penis removed. I felt the need to tell my wife that I do like being a man and my penis is staying where it is. Might be tucked from time to time but it'll still be there.

So, no. I don't hate being a man. I do wish that sometimes I could switch at will so I could know what it's like to be a woman for a while. That, and I'd want to *look* like a natural woman, breasts, hips, legs, lips and all.

I guess I have always wondered how things would have been as a woman. Both genders have their advantages and disadvantages. One thing that comes to mind is that grown women can act immature, but it is acceptable. If a male acts the same way, people always will tell him to act his age or think he is immature. It isn't fair, but that is the way it is. In ways I do wish I was born a female. That is probably why I am a crossdresser and even going a bit further in wanting a female body shape with the bovine ovary. However, I would not make a passable woman. For this reason I don't think I would go as far as an operation. If I were given the tremendous amount of money to have it done and change the face and voice, hmmmmm, now that would be interesting.

Quote from: Michelleisadude on January 02, 2014, 02:02:48 PM
This reminds me of when my wife and I were watching Orange is the New Black. There's a transgender inmate on the show and they did a flashback on her getting dressed with the help of her wife and they were talking about having her penis removed. I felt the need to tell my wife that I do like being a man and my penis is staying where it is. Might be tucked from time to time but it'll still be there.

So, no. I don't hate being a man. I do wish that sometimes I could switch at will so I could know what it's like to be a woman for a while. That, and I'd want to *look* like a natural woman, breasts, hips, legs, lips and all.

removed repurposed

Read about Hermaphroditus

I do not hate being a man at all. In fact some of my best and happiest moment in my life are when I was a man.

Quote from: Melanie_uk on October 05, 2013, 05:41:50 AM
Hi , does anyone else utterly hate being male , but not the urge or inclination to go down the gender reassignment route .

NO. I embrace ME across the full range. I like that I can fix, repair or build more than most men. I like shooting and guns and wearing pretty panties too.

Not that I really hate being a man...I don't feel like a man at all and for me transitioning is the way to make me finaly stop faking and trying to be someone that I don't want to be and I don't feel I can ever be.

Not at all! Despite my refusal I was indoctrinated and trained to be a masculine, and played the role quiet well for a long time.

After having happily transition for a couple of years I realized that a part of me will always be a masculine, and instead of being unhappy about it, I am quiet grateful about it because that masculine part of me makes me a stronger woman....

so there goes the silver lining my friend

As far as not wanted to transition, you just wait, sooner or later to some degree everybody who express sentiments like your would transition...resistance is futile...

I manage to mix up two threads and ended up answering them both in a single article (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,158469.msg1348876.html#msg1348876).

Now how stupid is that? Duh!

Personally, I'm irked about my body. As I'm petite (size UK 6-8) in women's clothes, I look terrible in male-cut clothes, but quite nice in ladies' clothes. However my cunky veins and hairy skin kind of ruin that, so I'm forever looking awkward and ugly in whatever I wear.
[/quote] 
I do not fit the normal male size range either from the waist down. (size US 2-4) Sheer support tights work great on the vein and a epilator fixes the hair :)

No. I am satisfied with my androgynous or bi-gender stats of my body and mind.

barbie~~

Well, I really don't know about equal pay in most instances but in my field of expertise, women and men make the same. Women have it a whole lot easier than men because there are twenty men that swoop into help a woman and they end up having to do far less than a man.

Also in my observations and the area in which I live and the businesses that I do business with, women may indeed make a little less than their men but the jobs they have a way better than what the men do. I would love to have one of the "normal" female jobs and make a little less than sweat my butt off or freeze my butt off or take a chance of getting struck by lightening, and Well.. Ya'll get the piture.

As for the initial question though, I really don't hate being a man as much as feel screwed by the universe, genetics, Lady Luck and so on. I mean hell, 50/50 chance and end I drew the short stick, no pun intended.

As for male priveledge, I have never really experienced that one. So maybe I ain't that much of a male anyway or at least mentally male. I do find that when I'm working some men, few and far between, seem to try to feel me out and borderline flirt with me. Whether they are gay or "->-bleeped-<-s" I don't know but tend to sort of flirt back (I'm extremely flattered when that does happen though) and find there are perks somewhat on the female level with it.

I do not like routine tasks that my wife has been doing, such as washing, cooking, and cleaning. My wife seems to enjoy cooking, especially when my kids like it. Definitely I am a dad in my family. I like math and analysis, and sometimes become aggressive in my research area. All of our house income comes from me. I purchased all of our cars and houses, mostly through bank loan. I just thank my wife for bringing up my kids healthy.

Physically I was very feminine in my teen. Not good at  sports. However, after reaching age 40, I became very healthy, compared with my contemporary. I have more stamina and endurance, although my muscular strength has always been weaker than most men. I like marathon instead of sprint or tennis. I look far younger than men and women at my age.

Ambidextrous people are rare, but sometimes they can be more advantageous than left- or right-handed people.

barbie~~

I do hate not having a female body, though I don't hate being male.

I'm still trying to make sense of that..

I don`t mind being a man, but I would prefer being a woman because I love all things feminine.

                               Love  Kim

I don't hate being a man. It's just as time went by the idea of being a man seemed more and more odd to me. I  can say I don't prefer it. I do regret male puberty though. Now I'll never have child bearing hips  :(  :laugh:

Not only am I not passable as a woman, but I am too tall to be a woman. At 6'2" most people would guess that I am a guy or at least was a guy. Biological women that are only 5'10" tall have told me that men occasionally ask if they were a man. I, however, have known a woman at 6'2" and she was taller than me in high heels. I guess anything is possible.

I don't hate it, but I am done with it. If I had to I could live the rest of my life as male, but it wouldn't be a terribly happy existence.

Since I was around at least 8 years old I have frequently desired to be a female. However, transition was never possible for various reasons. I don't like the results of male puberty and subsequent development.

Full female transition is currently not (and may never be) an option. However, it would be nice if I could reverse some of the male characteristics and develop female body characteristics and be able to present myself as a female in both public and private with my wife.

The minimum requirements would be replenishment of some lost hair, elimination of both facial and body hair, development of female size "C" breasts, development of other female body characteristics, and the elimination of my male genitals with urethra relocation like a female for proper urination. Full genital transition with vagina, labia, and clitoris would be nice but not essential as I do not desire penetrative sex with a man.

My male genitals are currently of no use to me and are really a great inconvenience. I desire to have them gone and to have a proper urethra relocation. If there was some way for my doctor to say that they must be removed and for the surgery to be covered by my insurance, I would gladly say do it.

The binary system we have in western cultures is very limiting. People should be free to choose how they want to express themselves. There should be no concept of man and woman. If no concept of man or woman, then there is nothing to hate. You just express yourself as you see fit and society shall celebrate you for doing so. If one likes to do things that are considered the stereotypical gender expression, they should do it, but without labeling. It's just what it is, that it is, not male nor female. It is just one form of expression of many.

The binary system is like having a canvas with only black and white. Do you hate the black or do you hate the white? Why not have a spectrum of colors and use every single color to paint a beautiful painting?

When I wear feminine clothes it's not just a gender neutral thing for me. Yes, I really do like how it feels on my body, but I love that it IS considered feminine. If feminine clothes were gender neutral I don't think I could just leave it at that.

I love wearing feminine clothing as well, but I start wondering what is feminine and what is not? Another culture may view the way we dress as something entirely different.

I may not have said this earlier, but I don't think that I would say that I hate being a man, but sure would rather be a woman. I love that feminine shape look and would surely be happy to have that look, whether I could survive the rest of my life actually living the life of a woman or not.  Losing male organs doesn't matter much to me these days, so if I could bring in enough money to have the surgery, plus have enough to live on during the long healing process off the job, I wouldn't have to think twice about it. Not using a urinal isn't a big issue with me, as I have never used one in my whole life. I urinate sitting down, anyhow. I have done other feminine things for many years, also.

Having to go through puberty as a man, when my heart told me I didn't like it one bit.

As previously indicated I dislike my male genitals and don't have any real use for them.  My wife has not wanted sexual penetration for the past 5 years because of her vagina being extremly dry and penetration being rather painful for her. Also, I have sat to pee full time for over 15 years. Thus, I would be much better off to have them gone and to have a smooth feminine like crotch with a proper urethral reroute.

It might then be possible for me to occasionally present myself both privately and publically with my wife as female.

Quote from: Stephanie2 on March 02, 2014, 11:58:10 PM
Not only am I not passable as a woman, but I am too tall to be a woman. At 6'2" most people would guess that I am a guy or at least was a guy. Biological women that are only 5'10" tall have told me that men occasionally ask if they were a man. I, however, have known a woman at 6'2" and she was taller than me in high heels. I guess anything is possible.

My youngest daughter is six-feet, 20 years old, and nobody mistakes her for a man because she is tall.

Quote from: Jamie D on March 10, 2014, 07:23:41 AM
My youngest daughter is six-feet, 20 years old, and nobody mistakes her for a man because she is tall.

Luckily the men around her didn't say such mean things, plus had no reason to. I think that some men just aren't used to women taller than they are, if that is the case, and just want to be insulting. The women who have told me about men who asked if they were a man were very feminine in every way. Height was the only thing the men were confused about. I see tall women every day, but my height is even taller. Someone told me that there is a club for extra tall women.

I cant  say I hate  being a man!  Being male does have its advantages and since I am a male,  I have learned to accept it .   But having said  that,  I would have preferred to have  been born  female.   To me,  life seems a bit easier?   Whether thats true, I am not sure?   Nicer clothes, nicer to eachother and more understanding for the most part is what I like about being female.   Hate  being male?  No!     Preffered to be  female?   Yes.     

Had I been born a female I..

...would be able to show my feelings better..
...would have a softer and gentler body..
...would work on my looks all the time..
...wouldn't be so afraid of ageing..
...would be treated as a female..
...and most importantly, would have a match between my character and body.. it would be a better fit..

...and I sure as hell wouldn't imagine my life as a male.

I like certain things about my male side and female side.  I think that its a blessing to be able to live life and enjoy the best of each side.

Gee, the more I think of it, the more I hate being a man! I never liked an Adam's apple and wanted it removed as a teenage. I hate shaving my face and have shaved my under arms for many years now. I don't like the male organ, it is often in awkward positions in the underpants and has to be re-adjusted. The more I think about it, the more I want the operation. Only the recovery and time off work would not be good for me, plus money I don't have for the operation itself.

Yeah, I do, I especially don't like being treated like a man or expected to behave as one....as I don't feel I am one. The one thing that always irked me about it is people expect you to be tough, which I'm not...well I can be alittle tough, but not to the extent that's expected of guys. I've never liked how men "bond" with each other either...all the teasing and bullying...no thanks. I like to be treated with sensitivity.

Quote from: Cassandra on March 24, 2014, 12:56:02 PM
Yeah, I do, I especially don't like being treated like a man or expected to behave as one....as I don't feel I am one. The one thing that always irked me about it is people expect you to be tough, which I'm not...well I can be alittle tough, but not to the extent that's expected of guys. I've never liked how men "bond" with each other either...all the teasing and bullying...no thanks. I like to be treated with sensitivity.

I feel EXACTLY the same way.... that is almost exactly what I wanted to write, for a second there I thought I wrote it myself and forgot about it,  :)

I like being a man and given the option to choose my sex back when I was conceived, I'd still be male.  Though I could be either gender depending on the day, I still lean towards the male side of the spectrum and like being referred to as one.  However, I yearn to act out my female side too.  As I live with my parents and would rather keep it from them and my siblings (even with the chance they would be okay with it), I can't do that yet, but I'm saving up to move out.

Quote from: Melissa_fox on March 16, 2014, 10:56:27 AM
I like certain things about my male side and female side.  I think that its a blessing to be able to live life and enjoy the best of each side.

I can't wait until my situation changes so I can do that myself.

I hate being born male as I would of rather been a mother, breast feed all my children and complain to my female friends about any difficulties of having problems with some of my periods. Also enjoy Mother's Day as my day. It's like when I believe Lee Remick rued by saying in a documentary about those who had SRS . She said that they cannot "conceive, lactate, and menstruate". Just the three biggest things about being born Female.

Quote from: Melissa_fox on March 16, 2014, 10:56:27 AM
I like certain things about my male side and female side.  I think that its a blessing to be able to live life and enjoy the best of each side.

Yes, it would be great to be able to present one's self in either female or male mode as desired.

I've disliked being a man for a long time and whenever I'm dressed as a woman, my countenance improves 100%. I'm a totally changed person. It's actually strange though, because I was just telling my therapist  that I never consider my feminine self the same way that I do with my male self. They are 2 totally different entities. Two months ago, a friend invited me over to her house and I met her boyfriend. Then a few weeks later she needed some help, so my male self went over and helped her. Later on her boyfriend told her about her friends and he thought we were 2 totally different people.  She had a good laugh when she told him that we were one and the same but technically when I become my feminine self I'm a totally different person.

First post.  Newbie.

Do I hate being a man?

I don't hate being a man.  I am just very disappointed at the cards I was dealt.  I would have been much better suited to being a woman.  And happier.  It is what it is.

I don't know how to describe it, but recently when i dress up I don't want to go back, I much rather be female all the time but I can't really say that I hate it.

Because of health I cannot have SRS, but as for my testicles the doctors can cut them off, put them in a food processor,let it do its job, then dump them done the toilet. I don't know why anyone on other sites would want to make earrings out of them.

Being born female would have been a lot better.

Hate is such a strong word. Dislike at times yes. Like at other times, sure. I my opinion, both men and women have perks in this world. I have watched my daughter get her tires inflated on her car at the tire shop when it's -20F outside by simply cocking her head and giving a sweet smile to the young men working there. It is amazing how quickly they drop what they are working on and fill her tires. That's powerful stuff. I have also seen the lines to get into the woman's room at our local sports arena during half time and was happy that I was heading for the men's room where there was no line. Perception is the key. I am closeted for the most part and have boundaries set by my wife and am content being who I need to be at any particular time.

only when "they" get in the way

I was that way for a while; I saw some fun in being a man for a time.  Not to scare you but it has evolved to the point where I feel transitioning is a must.  You may be different...

Quote from: Melanie_uk on October 05, 2013, 05:41:50 AM
Hi , does anyone else utterly hate being male , but not the urge or inclination to go down the gender reassignment route .

That's where I am. Only perk I can think of right now is the body strength buff, aside from that, nothing. I want to be a pretty girl and instead Im a hairy, sweaty thing haha.

I kinda laugh about it now, having understanding friends makes all the difference

Quote from: Blinded Wolf on October 30, 2013, 01:29:30 AM

I do completely get what you're saying and I realize my above post comes off as a little more than bitter and jaded, but I didn't mean it to be.
I guess my feelings in general with gender dysphoria have led me to feel incredibly more negatively about the female experience than is typical. I can also concede that there are some items on that list which, while still true enough in certain circumstances, may simply be more exacerbated to me.

I do apologize if I indirectly offended anyone with my harsh summary, but I'm finding that this forum is an excellent place to vent things I've been cramming inside for years.

I know I'm resurrecting an old post here, but I have some things to say after browsing this forum for another reason. 

As much as I've wanted to be female, I have been attuned to the "negatives" about being a woman, and it has in a way hindered my transitioning.

Yes, I know that:

- Women are gossipy and can be pretty cruel towards each other compared to guys
- Women are more sensitive in general and more likely to have conflicts compared to male friendships
- Just walking at night is more dangerous for women than for men
- As a woman you are criticized a lot more for even small things compared to a man
- As a woman, it can take a lot longer to get ready to go out, and body maintenance is a lot more complicated compared to how men have it.
- As a woman, you are bombarded more by images that make you feel "less than" compared to men.
- As a woman, you are seen by men as inferior when it comes to certain things

I'm all aware of that.  I've developed male personas that revel in being able to go anywhere, when I want to, not having to worry about safety, be highly competitive (and aggressive),  taking advantage of not having to take care of my looks, and doing some reveling in freedom.

Yet, I still have to deal with the desire to be a woman on a daily basis, the desire to be womanly (a feminine woman) and the desire to have a vagina and the desire to have a female body, to be in the female world (to be one of the girls), to have breasts, to act like a feminine woman, to have emotional freedom, to have people actually care about and help me, etc...  I still have to deal with the fact that I can't make a life for myself because I don't resolve my gender issues in a way that will satisfy me (and no option that I am considering is without having considerable freedom to be female.)

There are drawbacks to each gender, but expressing one's true self is far more important and makes the drawbacks less of a significant deal.

Quote from: Katelyn on March 29, 2015, 12:49:42 AM
I know I'm resurrecting an old post here, but I have some things to say after browsing this forum for another reason. 

As much as I've wanted to be female, I have been attuned to the "negatives" about being a woman, and it has in a way hindered my transitioning.

Yes, I know that:

- Women are gossipy and can be pretty cruel towards each other compared to guys
- Women are more sensitive in general and more likely to have conflicts compared to male friendships
- Just walking at night is more dangerous for women than for men
- As a woman you are criticized a lot more for even small things compared to a man
- As a woman, it can take a lot longer to get ready to go out, and body maintenance is a lot more complicated compared to how men have it.
- As a woman, you are bombarded more by images that make you feel "less than" compared to men.
- As a woman, you are seen by men as inferior when it comes to certain things

I'm all aware of that.  I've developed male personas that revel in being able to go anywhere, when I want to, not having to worry about safety, be highly competitive (and aggressive),  taking advantage of not having to take care of my looks, and doing some reveling in freedom.

Yet, I still have to deal with the desire to be a woman on a daily basis, the desire to be womanly (a feminine woman) and the desire to have a vagina and the desire to have a female body, to be in the female world (to be one of the girls), to have breasts, to act like a feminine woman, to have emotional freedom, to have people actually care about and help me, etc...  I still have to deal with the fact that I can't make a life for myself because I don't resolve my gender issues in a way that will satisfy me (and no option that I am considering is without having considerable freedom to be female.)

There are drawbacks to each gender, but expressing one's true self is far more important and makes the drawbacks less of a significant deal.

I've found that there are people who can take 'being their gender' a little too seriously.  When they are transgender I can sympathize a lot more, as I am generally still assumed to be a girl rather than the man I would like to be seen as.  It's tough to pass for some and even when you do, you have had to think about it all the time.  Really the only way to overcome it is to make peace with your situation and accept that life will never be perfect, even when/if you look perfect!  Perceptions of who has it worse will always be different depending on how you look at it.  I feel that in the USA, as that is where I grew up, women are often told the world is an awful, dangerous place that wants to kill and rape you. To me, it seems that women often believe they are less able to protect themselves, and men are sort of duped into thinking they are invincible simply because they are men- as well as sometimes being told they are awful and gross simply for being male.  So to me, this is a total disservice to everyone.  Women can be totally ruthless and powerful and men can be victimized and ought to be aware that they can be.  Buying into the stereotypes just hurts everyone and puts us all into annoying little boxes that do not fit and make us feel bad for being ourselves. But i also feel there are many people who find out these ideas or not useful and make their lives into what they need or want to be and do not give and F for following the "rules" of being a man, woman or even forgo choosing any gender role because they know they can simply be themselves without having to choose.

But do not let the gossipy mean attitudes sway you, the kinds of people that act like that are not usually worth your time anyways.  People who have to buy into stereotypes and backstab others are usually bitter and have low confidence in themselves and will eventually hurt you badly. You are right about your true self. Regardless of gender, we all have the potential to be true and great.  Circumstances can make it hard to shine, but I think even the most downtrodden and ill-lucked individuals can still change their situation and turn their lives around.  Even if they cannot, in my mind it's still worth fighting for to be yourself and believe in what you can accomplish.

Never really hated being a man but always felt i should have been a woman.  Given my present circumstances, I could accept having full genital nullification, female breasts, and the ability to pass and be accepted as either "F" or "M" without question.

Very much so. I feel so imprisoned in my own body. I hate the sight of it. I treat it as separate from myself cause I cannot bare it being me. I am jealous anytime I see a girl with pretty hair or a cute dress. I have no outlets to express myself except for 3 days a year when I can go to an anime convention that is accepting of cross dressing. I try to get away with little girly things like a cute cell phone case but I couldn't even get away with that (I got publicly shamed for it) it takes increasingly more and more effort to keep from crying when I see people who are free/female

The whole gamergate mess has made open misandry far more accepted in public, on the sites I used to read every day and it wears on me.

Hi GamerDysphoria, welcome to Susan's. I can totally relate to that jealousy factor of seeing them were what I wasn't allowed to where at least out in the open. I look forward to seeing you around the forums. Good luck and Hugs
Mariah

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Personally, I don't hate myself as a man. But I'm pretty bad at "being" a man. Not attractive, not aggressive and women don't even give me a glance ...Not that they will when/if I am transwoman. But I figure my chances won't be any worse. So I'm considering making myself more comfortable (even considering HRT has made me feel my feminine side more and I feel happier)

I wouldn't say that I hate being a man but would say that I would love to be a woman instead but the lifestyle that I live when it comes to the job and my hobbies I just find its easier to just be a man than trying to become a female.

I work seasonal jobs and travel all over the United States and end up being in dorm style rooms where I have a roommate. So dressing full time is not an option I have without constantly being judged. You don't know know how much I wish I could go to bed in panties and a bra but I can't because I have a roommate.

Well I totaly suck at being a man, and as I've never gone (out public) as anything else, my whole life was a huge FAILURE !
I've had beautiful women glance /talk to me but never had a glue what to do, like battleship without a rubber.
I live as a recluse, no friends, no family anymore, I cant even sit in the tea room at work with the other (because I cant stand myself in company).  Its a battle just to have a conversation with someone.
I cant do the act and play the scrip ANY MORE !!!
So (now I'm sobbing) yeah, I hate being a  man.    :'(

I wouldn't say I really hate it. Just uncomfortable when I have to present as one. Even before I figured stuff out I couldn't stand looking at myself in the mirror and when I did got it done as quick as possible, along with horrible body modesty issues. Where I couldn't even go out in shorts. And even clothes for guys fit me weird where I look like a tent is on me. Women never gave me the time of day either, And I've always looked really uncomfortable in public to the point where strangers asked me what was wrong. Also I've always have had a issue with hiding my emotions to the point at my job I've almost broke down in tears which is a no no for a guy.